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this is perhaps the first day of my life as an unemployed college graduate. i quit my job with out having another to fall back on. Why you ask no reason...I just couldn't bear to enter that place agian and pretend that it was all right and I could keep smiling. I am so tired of sales. I know there are others who know hat i am talking about. It jsut eats at the soul until there isn't very much to hang on to. I want somehting exciting barring exciting I'll settle for prestigious. Who am I kidding at this point anything but sales would be better. May hap I took to big a step. I can think of several things that would be worse than sales. I thikn if I had a job I wouldn't be so worried all the time and i could go out and enjoy myself a little. Since graduating and aparently beginning this great post grad life, I have never been out once. Not even for a little drink. i so used to love dancing all night until the lights came on and then stumbling blindly to my car with a beatific smile. Now those were the days to live for. Or then agian perhaps I am just glamorizing college because it is over and I await the next stage in my life. I mean what would provoke me to do something life come to a bdsm site? i am shy retiring quiet and unassuming. I avoid conflicts at all cost and haven't been able to tell a straight lie since i was 6. I don't like to disapoint my friends and the idea that there is someone out there who hates me upsets me. I would rather they thin me negligent than not desiring of their company. I don't know what I am doin i don't even keep journals so why I am writing in this one is beyond me. If I do write agian then I will know that this is not just a phase. |
