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For what it is worth I have a profile over at www..com Under the name ......*drum roll* ......wait for it....... *Fanfare* SpinadiRosa....original, yes?
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I wish southernboy11b the best life has to offer, he is still a dear friend, much loved, and I thank him for serving me very well in the time that we were together.
Love is often not enough to overcome some very basic differences and although he did everything he could to give being in a poly relationship a try, it was doing more harm than good for him and I to stay together. I wish you well and you have a lifetime of love my dear iMpIsH one.
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There has been a lot of discussion and disagreement from several
people I have been talking to recently about what different terms in
this lifestyle mean. As I have never been given a dictionary for the
lifestyle I thought that sitting down and writing out what words meant
to me would be advantageous.
BDSM - Bondage, Dominance, Submission(or Sadism),
Masochism
Under protection or protecting - offering guidance
and advice without having any further interest in a person. This is in
no way or shape a collar of any sort. Similar to a mentor, however I see
it as when a Dominant is helping a submissive.
Mentoring - Teaching or offering advice to someone
who identifies similarly to you in the lifestyle Example: Domme teaching
Domme, or sub teaching sub. Again no collar or further interest should
be shown in this style of relationship.
Collaring - various levels of commitment between a
submissive/slave/switch and their counter part in the lifestyle. The
various levels are described below as I see and understand them and
explain them to anyone I have an interest in.
Casual Collar (sometimes known as a play collar) -
This is similar to how most kids in high school "hang out" with each
other, it isn't a firm commitment. A Velcro collar if you will. Easily
given, easily taken away. No real commitment until it moves on to
another level.
Collar of consideration - similar to those in the
vanilla world dating. Typically this means that neither party is
currently looking or tolerating interest shown by others although this
is negotiable depending upon the relationship between the two people and
what has been discussed.
Training Collar - The equivalent to going steady or
dating someone exclusively. Typically a collar showing that the details
of a relationship are being worked on and ironed out. Training
submissives /slaves for specific duties and tasks, and learning limits
and where limits can be tested.
Engagement Collar - The name is self explanatory to
me. It shows a definite commitment and agreement by both parties that
they have every intention in being in that relationship for the long
term. This is where I would spend the extra cash and time to make sure
that a custom collar or symbol of the relationship was made.
Permanent Collar - Similar to a vanilla couple
getting married, it is a showing of the intent to be permanently bound
to one another or to a household. This in my world is shown by a collar
that is riveted on, or a permanent marking such as a tattoo or branding.
That is a good start for a handful of definitions and how I define
and see them. Next time maybe I will delve into what I feel the
differences are between a submissive and a slave.
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Just as a quick note to any subs/slaves reading over my profile. I will not pay to relocate someone to me. I will help you by helping you find a place to live (Until we move into a larger house this one is not big enough unfortunately for me to have my slave live with me as I wish.) Roughly knowing the local cost of living ect. you should expect to have at least $1200 when you plan on moving here. That will cover first and last month's rent, your utility deposits, and money for a return trip if things do not work out. Which I would hope if you were moving here, we knew each other well enough that the idea of it not working out would be on some weird personality flaw unforeseen. Perhaps if you ask nicely I will explain in greater detail how I see a typical day going if you were mine.
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I have restarted this journal entry at least a dozen times and nothing sounds right to say other than for the moment, I am going to have to stop looking for a slave. I extended a part of myself, my family, my heart to a slave who claimed to want it, who claimed to love me...and who allowed themselves to be collared by a local Dom just because they were there.
Until my heart mends, namaste.
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I hate that I am having to write this entry...however if you are over 40 it is unlikely I am going to have much interest in you.
I already have a boyfriend whom I love dearly who is several years older than myself, and sometimes the heartbreak of watching him age ahead of me is too much for me to deal with. I do not want to add another person for my heart to break over the thought of me living years beyond them and wishing they were by my side still.
Thank you for your interest and I wish you all well.
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All I want for Christmas
All I want for Christmas is a nice warm subbie
Someone who is smart, one who's funny.
Kneeling at my feet,
Or walking by my side,
Their knowledge in my ownership
is a sweet badge of pride.
So dear Santa if you would be so kind,
Send me the slave that will ease my mind.
Massages are nice,
as is being quiet as mice.
But be sure they have a brain,
Or I will ship them back speedy return!
Heart to heart,
Mind to mind,
drama free
is what I hope to find.
So on Christmas eve I shall go to bed
fingering the bondage points above my head,
visions of gifts I want to see
in nothing but a bow under the tree.
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If I view your whole profile it usually means that I have some interest in you. I refuse to chase after someone to serve me. If you have any interest in possibly serving me make sure to read my profile through and contact me. Otherwise who knows on what we may be missing.
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Life is getting better for me all the time. Things happening that I would have never dreamed about. And life is once again coming into a balance.
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It is frustrating to me to see so many Dom/mes take on airs of being all important and mighty, especially those who are poorly educated, poorly tempered, and who seem to be incomplete people on their own. They mostly seem to feel that they have to adopt the attitude of most school yard bullies in some imaginary pissing contest to prove that they are an Alpha personality.
Am I that uncommon a breed of person that feels that one must EARN respect before demanding it just because I claim myself to be a Domme?
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An email I recently sent someone that after I re-read it I felt I should post it to my profile as well "I am not that experienced, but I know what I want. I am willing to
train someone to fit what I need/want. If you would be so kind please
read my profile and give me the curtesy of a reply back even if it is
to say not interested.
To
put it in short terms, I want the whole package, I want there to be
love between us. I want you to hurry to serve me, to please me just
because you desire to bring a smile to my face because when I am happy,
you feel complete. I want you to be willing to accept whatever I give
you as punishment thank me for it, and ask for more knowing I do it
with a loving hand.
I want someone who will eventually know my
desires before I express them (this only comes with a great amount of
time spent together so I do not expect it to happen over night), and
who is willing to sit with me through a movie their head on my lap, or
even allow me to use them as my pillow because I am desire to be the
one reclining..."
One of these days I am just going to rewrite my entire profile so that it is easier to understand and is not so disjointed however that may be a while. I have other things I am currently busy with.
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I have recently discovered that I have no use for self righteous elitest submissives. I will only be happy with an empathetic, considerate submissive/slave who will be not only able, but willing to take other's feelings and thoughts to heart.
This has come to me after spending months building a friendship with a submissive and within the last month his true colors started to show. He showed little tolerence for people who are below his family's level of income, for people who had different kinks, or different beliefs than his own. My frustration over not just losing what I thought was a good friend, but a fun subbie, has brought me to the decision not to let many get too close at this point until they have proven time and time again that they can think outside their own little shells.
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What a hectic several weeks. I had a wonderful Christmas in Washington state with my in-laws. I was pleasently surprised by my enjoyment over flying for the first time. I have decided that I am not going to be flying Delta any time in the near future however for horrible customer service.
I need to tweak my profile a bit since I have figured out something that I need to include. I realized reading my profile I have it full of my wants, but not one word on what I have to offer someone. Now if I can get myself motivated enough to add it to my profile.
I wish everyone a Happy New Year.
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I am currently starting to heal. Thanks to my husband, some awesome friends on here, I am starting to feel like there can be more to my life than just surviving these days.
The ending of a long term relationship with someone who is still as far as I am concerned a life mate, has still been devestating. But I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
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READ MY ENTIRE PROFILE BEFORE CONTACTING ME : There is a key phrase somewhere within it that will assure you get paid attention to.
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Something I feel is important to say. Any relationship takes time to build. If you start with Vanilla, every other flavor winds up tasting so much sweeter.
Plan to get to know me in a vanilla way if you desire any other flavor with me.
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