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Moving on in life. It seems that husband had found someone else and that he's always thrown me away for something better. well i can't live like that anymore so even tho he asked me to wait one more time till he could figure out what's going on with this new piece of tail, i just can't wait anymore. its not right that he ask me, means i have no value other then his safety net. if it don't work out he runs back to me and he's done this for 15+ yrs. well no more... TIME TO STAND...
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So first off found out that pig slut is bad. but the jokes on her as it seems it was about her. also found out that life sucks. but you get over it and move on to bigger and better things. maybe bigger and better is in the cards for me. i sure hope so because i am so ready to move on. i've found you find strength in your moments of weakness. well i've had enough weakness now its time to pick myself up dust myself off and STAND... Well not much else to say. more later, kisses teek
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uggg i think i am sick today. i feel like crap. i hate getting sick. why me? with everything else now this? man i hate life. otherwise the search goes on. still haven't met that special Dom that completes my life. Tear. I would like to say tho to Maximus go F yourself, your not the victim here, i am. We just let you pretend. Also BountyDawg, your slipping, your girl doesn't mind well. Your Dom skills leave something to be desired. anyway more later. kisses teek
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Oh here's an extra since i haven't been faithful. i wonder why its easier to share your perversions then your heart. i can't find love but i can find a Dom... Sucks you know... anyway Sir M please please come back and email... You are missed...
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okay i know i haven't written in forever... sorry... anyway kisses to Sir M where ever You may be... Also congrats to Master Michael, he has a new baby... Sorry for all the mess... anyway its been a year of change. my slave sister left us... it was awful but when isn't it.. i moved again... lol... kidding... my b-day passed and was crap... Yule was cool tho... i will start posting here more i promise. New Years Resolution... Hahaha... Kisses to all my friends... teek
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Wow been a long time since i last posted. moved twice and boy is it a mess. anyway still alive and kickin. still looking too. think i want romance as a part of the whole package. are You out there? email please
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Hey all... put up some new pics. Pic 5, 6, and 11 are all new. thought they looked cool when i was playing in paint so i posted them. Check them out and leave me a email. Kisses
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So here i am rambling again wondering if things mean something. i always have found the name Michael very sexy and it seems that Men named Michael seem to always find me. Does it mean something?
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So here it is forever since i've posted on here. Just wanted to say all is well and i'm still alive. life is so interesting sometimes. i often believe things happen for a reason and sure enough they do. often times things aren't meant to be and so they don't happen (or do) and we wonder why that is. Well fate interviened in my life or whatever you call it and kept me and Master Michael apart and at the time i couldn't understand why but sure enough there was a reason. So thank the Goddess or whoever that it wasn't meant to be....
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So i am writing this book and trying to find ppl to interview about fetishes. i posted on craigslist but got flagged a million times so i'll try here...
***********************************
If you would like to help me out please write me here and we'll arrange to talk via Yahoo IM. i need ppl who will talk about their fetishes. i need all kinds of fetishes, the more out there the better.
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alright, all moved in and ready to play. LOL... the move went well and unpacking is a bitch. house is lovely. so guess i'll drop a line or two here and say hi to all those who like to read my blogs. kids are ready to go back to school and my school is going good too. life is great. anyway not much else to say. kisses mysteek
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okay so Y/you all know my laptop cord broke and i haven't get a new one so i'm not on as much as i'd like to be. to top all that off we are moving because the landlord is a dick. he wont fix the septic so it back up into our house. i think this is why i am sick so much. and to top that he now wont let any company put propane in the tank even tho we pay for it so we've been without hot water for about a week now. do you know how fun cold showers can be or baths in a bucket of warm water. thank god for electric stoves. anyway he won't do his job so we are out of here. i am also calling the health board so no other tenants have to deal with this mess. the pump isn't up to code and is broke so it runs all the time running up the electric bill sky high. fucking slum lord... anyway school is going good. i have a 100% in each class and finished last quarter with a Dean's List... Yea!!! ME!!!! well that's all for now, just wanted to let you know... kisses mysteek
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so here it is and i'm bored. i find that online is work because schedules don't mesh. i wish for someone who can be on every night so that when i am on they can talk to me. things don't really work well when there is no communication. to Bear, i am not a liar. anyway looking for some fun... kisses mysteek
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so here it is a little later and i was looking at wiferlovers.com and got horny so i had to take matters into my own hands so to speak. later i watched angel get some and that was hot too. still horny and wanting some fun even vanilla fun would be okay now just anything to take the edge off. angel and i might just masturbate here soon while watching some dirty movies... anyway that's it for now. kisses myteek
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So Sir M wants me to write a journal for 2 days about shit that isn't Springer. to this i have to say that's part of my life too but i will comply. i was looking through old cds of pics and videos i made years ago and damn they turned me on. i only wish i had a better camera now so i could make some better videos. something sex related, i often dream of having sex with people. when i say ppl i mean like anyone. i dream of celebs, ppl i don't know, ppl i do know. i once dreamed of having sex with my bff's father and step-father. i've done this since i was about 12. i dream of celebs too and even fake ppl like Superman. Damn is he good... lol. One thing i noticed is that there is never any BDSM usually. its vanilla sex. this is strange to me because i crave BDSM sex and yet i dream of vanilla sex. on another note i've been writting more on my stories. Michael and silk are having a ball... LOL... when it started out it was just a way to express what i felt since i wasn't collared or playing, now its more. my fan base is huge and i love my work. sometimes it makes me want a Dom who would do all these things to and with me. i need something, the stress level is high. i need a good workout and then if i do well a nice release. at this point i'd take anything i could get. i've found the online thing to be as angel said, BORING... just doesn't cut it. something else i've discovered is i long for the right Dom i can call Master. Who will collar me and call me His slave. i miss that so much. well that's all for now. kisses mysteek
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been so busy and sick. think it might be bad karma that i've been so
sick. done a lot of thinking. i've come to the conclusion that true
love may exist but not for me. i often wish it were different but such
is life and such is my course in it. i want to thank Master Michael for
curing me of my silly obsession with love. Through His help i now know
its for fools and idiots who like a different kind of pain. at least in
BDSM i know and understand the pain i receive, in love its a mystery.
anyway just a few thoughts to ponder. i'll try to write more as i miss
my online journal. Kisses to Master Bear... Kisses mysteek
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haven't had time to write for a few days. hope Master doesn't get to mad since i am supposed to write everyday. not much been going on. did some yard work. angel talked to Master Michael's new gf. what a clueless twitt. going out wed to have fun with angel and her friends. YEAH!!!! well not much to write. kisses teek
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finally got to talk to Master. it was fun. played with angel and had a
blast. started back to school and am already ahead on the week. YEAH
me. talked smack to Master Michael, was a bitch in fact. called Him a
liar. felt good, like a lil closure in fact. anyway not much else. hope
to talk to Master tomorrow. kisses teek
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well lots to say today. first off aside from some nausea i'm feeling pretty good. still resting and taking it easy. not too interested in food yet but it will come. from having the flu and the stomach flu i am down to 168. WOW. i am so proud, now time to tone it up. anyway next item. had a dream about Master Michael. really hate that. wish He would stay out of my dreams. they really bother me. i think i need closure with Him but He doesn't answer His emails from me so its pointless. The last time was when Masterofoneslave had me email and tell Him i wasn't His anymore and He said next time the Dom needs to email Him personally. i agree... next school starts tonite at 10pm... another quarter. can't wait. taking Domestic and Family Violence and Alternative Dispute Resolution. i'm trying for at least Dean's list this time. its been a long time since i've had one. maybe i'll get a nice reward from Master if i do... :) lastly i get to talk to Master tomorrow night. YEAH!!! its been so long. well that's all. kisses teek
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i missed yesterday because vandals cut the wires on the tower that supplies the internet. asshole punks. anyway i saved it so i could post today. me and angel went to GJ with some friends to take a bike to someone. it was fun but i am still sick so i wasn't totally comfortable. anyway the mountains were beautiful all snow covered. can't wait to talk to Master on wed nite. its been so long. hopefully i'm alone... not much else to add. kisses teek
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well i missed yesterday because i now have the stomach flu. after getting the flu and getting over it and then taking care of everyone else throught theirs now i am sick all over again. i have a fever of 101.7 and am puking so hard my head hurts and i think i sprained my tongue. man i hate being sick. anyway wanted to say HI to Master Bear and tell Him i missed Him. Not much else to say. Can't wait to see Him online soon. kisses teek
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so today i went swimming to help feel better and even though it made me tired it seem to help. i noticed that guys were looking at my tits... lol. anyway Master Michael pissed me off by asking His new gf for the key to her heart and she returned it with a pic of a key. this was something special between us because i love keys (old ones) and i gave Him a skeleton key and told Him it was the key to my heart. guess special things like that don't mean much. How dare He use that line on someone else. really pisses me off. So i sent Him a thing that said i wanted the key i gave Him back and my panties too. and to top it off i also sent Him a pic of some dead Wolves. Since He is the house of Wolfe. FUCKBAG... aint i so nice... What's that they say. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. They don't know the half of it... So otherwise today was pretty good. Was supposed to go to Oklahoma to help out a friend but didn't go. Didn't feel like it. i always go and help and never get a thank you. she never listens to me either that's why she's always in a mess. so anyway i decided not to go. well more tomorrow... Kisses teek
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Wow been sick. very sick... anyway i didn't pass my Communications in Conflict course. Got a 64%... i guess i passed but its a D. Damn. i messed up on the final project because i didn't read the directions right. it said each question was to have a 3-4 page answer and i thought it said the whole thing was to be 3-4 total. so i got 125 out of 200 which lowered my grade. anyway been very sick. started an online relationship with Sir Bear so now i have to write in this journal daily so look for me. i will post about whatever happens day to day. anyway. kisses teek
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YEAH i PASSED MY INTRO TO LEGAL ANAYLSIS COURSE WITH A 93%... i AM SO PROUD OF me... NOW LET'S SEE HOW i DO ON my COMMUNICATIONS IN CONFLICT COURSE.... IT MIGHT BE ROUGH...KISSES teek
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so here i am sick as a dog with a cold. i really hate being sick. i feel so off balance. can't even enjoy a good spankin. pardon if i'm whiney when i'm sick. just wanted to let You know so maybe if You're that Someone You'll know just a little more about me... kisses teek
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Again i have to say this. i am looking for someone who not only stimulates my body but my mind as well. i need more then just a quick cyber because Your a horndog who gets off playing games. BDSM isn't a game to me, its a whole lifestyle. i would have lived this 24/7 with Master Michael but things didn't work out. i don't want this to be a sexual kink to be played once in a while, for me its LIFE. if Your just playing don't bother to write i will forget i know You when i figure out Your that way... Kisses teek
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Read this today in my communication in conflict course and thought it really hit home with BDSM.... POWER IS GIVEN... NOT OWNED. i can see how this is true but in that power is given, the slave is owned. hmmm but that's not what they had in mind. Some times i think things are written without the knowledge of the audience in mind. tell me what Y/you think... Kisses teek
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Well got the belly button pierced. it hurts but not to bad. more like a sting all the way up to my chest. anyway working on keeping it clean now. a little pussie and swollen but not to bad. put a tongue ring in it because the other was tight.
will put pics up when its healed more... still a little red now.
teek
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i have 3 new pics on here of my new hair cut and color. Just posted them to they might take a while to show up. (72 hours) Anyway check them out and let me know what Y/you think. Everyone tells me i look like a bull dyke with my new hair but i am far from it. Still all girly girl, still all bi slave girl. women are okay but i need a Man/Master. i can't submit to a female so don't get the wrong idea. Kisses teek
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just wanted to post this. i am only here for friends. people keep trying to get more but i am just not ready for this. email if Y/you want to chat as friends but if You are looking for more i am not so don't waste Your time. my last break up was bad and it isn't getting any better. at this point i just don't want to open up myself for more. just a heads up. Kisses teek
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Well still here and alive. not been so good lately. life is tough and i'm not sure somedays i can bare it. Don't get me wrong, there are days that are worth it but the don't out weigh the ones that are not. They say live for the moments that make it all worth living but those moments are few and far between anymore. wish life was different, wish it was better, wishes are like fairy tales. anyway just wanted to say, STILL HERE. for now... kisses teek
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Well its been a while since i was on and posted a entry. i've been lost in that pirates game on facebook. anyway here i am, and guess what i'm a grandma now too. my daughter gave birth on 1/6 to a healthy 6lb 15 1/2 oz baby boy. we call him Gabriel or Gabe for short... he's a doll. anyway more later.
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Wow its been a while since i posted. didn't get to mention that i hate xmas and the holiday's. getting ready to leave for the reality show i'm going on. leave in January but not sure just when. can't wait!!!
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Wow i have a whopper of a migraine right now. its killing me. typing on here to take my mind off the pain. sometimes it works and sometimes not but i'll try anyway. just wanted to say... kisses teek
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Something i look for in a Dom is someone who might have been once a slave himself. Someone who knows how to treat a lady and His slut. Someone who doesn't think i will just jump into bed right off. Someone who doesn't think that the relationship starts with the first email. Yes i may said Sir but not because i am submitting to You but out of respect to You. Someone who knows there is more to BDSM then fucking... if this is You then email... kisses teek
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Just a random thought. Thought i'd post while i was here. today was okay. was thinking about life and how fickle it is. One day your happy and the next the rug is pulled out from under you. Why is life like this? i would like to know. Any ideas? kisses teek
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And yet another great song. Scars... i tear my heart open, i sew myself shut. my weakness is that i care too much and our scars remind us that the past is real. i tear my heart open just to feel. Never were truer words spoken or in this case sung. i think i do this all the time. i let myself care about people who just make me tear my heart open. i think i do it just to feel something. pain is better then nothing. i'm really tired of pain but there is nothing else. just a drunk random thought, teek
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Another great song out there is Teenagers by my Chemical Romance... Teenagers scare the living shit out of me. They could care less as long as someone will bleed. SO FREAKIN TRUE... i love music and free speech... Still fucked up, teek
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Hey i'm gonna be on TV... On CMT on Brides to Be... Or Bridal Bootcamp, not sure which they are calling it... all i got to do is lose the most weight.... its a win/win situation for me... i lose weight and i win a wedding... WOW!!! Maybe its a win/lose.... who knows... kisses teek. (still drunk)
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Here i am drunk off my ass writing on collarme... Listening to tunes. Over You by Daughtery... SO fucking hits home... Wish Master would hear this song and know it was from His girl... HAHA!!! His girl.... NOT ANYMORE... I'm slowly getting closure, I guess its really over. Cuz I got over YOU... Kisses Teek. This message was brought to you a DRUNK ASS GIRL
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So now its time for some funny shit. i heard this song and thought it was the shit. Its called BIMBO by Lambretta... my favorite line is... Which bone in her body should i break first? Which one? The Bimbo's gotta - go. the bimbo's gotta - know... That is the shit. i love bimbo women, in fact all my sister slaves are always bimbo. i collect them. Check out the whole song on Youtube... Look up Lambretta Bimbo... It also includes this line which is soooo true... A friendly kiss includes no tongue. GREAT.... Kisses teek
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Well the whole birthday thing turned out shitty. i lost my dog because my kids let him out and he got picked up and they scanned him and found he was microchipped and belonged to someone else. he was stolen from them about 8 months ago. in april he just came onto my property and i adopted him. i called the pound and reported him but they said no one was looking for a red nosed pitbul so i could just keep him if i wanted. i fell in love and now my heart is broken because i will never see him again or get him back. i will never know what happened or if he is well cared for and loved. Death would be better. at least i'd know and have closure. i miss you Chopper. love you more then you could know. spent the last two days crying over you.... bye baby hippo.... mommy
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Wanted to add. Word of the day. FUCKBAG... Men try not to be one. women don't want fuckbags, we like more. if you can't figure out what more is then ask... kisses teek
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Well here it is... 1 day till i turn 34. kind of thought i'd be somewhere else at this point in time. guess the best laid plans can get really fucked up. oh well on with life as unplanned. i'm down to 175lbs. not sure how but i'm not complaining. going on a tv show similar to the biggest loser in Jan. will be gone for 6 weeks if i last. yeah!!! can't wait. its funny, i want to lose weight more then i want the prize for winning. for me weighing less is the prize but that don't mean i wont try to win. anyway wish me luck... Kisses teek
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Just wondering if anyone is into music. when i say into i mean that you hear it, not just listen to it. some say its the singer, not the song, but i say nope. its the words mostly but its the melody too. when i hear a song, it either touches me or it doesn't. usually it has a place in my life also but sometimes its just a song i like. a catchy tune. if you have a song that speaks to you please tell me. i'd like to hear about it, the name, the singer/band and why and what about it touches you. also if you can name your number one favorite song of all time i'd like to hear it too. BTW mine is Wonderful Tonight by Eric Clapton. Kisses teek.
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So here it is a few days later. love this journal. i wish they would make a site like this for slaves/sub and Doms. i would post there all the time. this is my way to vent. so anyway... Master writes me and says i don't write. now He tells me He loves me in a recent email. i wonder why play this game. its sucks. but i play because i am addicted. what a fool i am. so just thought Y/you should know. kisses teek
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Okay new question. why do Doms/Men think that we would want to be FISTED? And why do They seem to want to FIST us? Think about it... Do You think we want to be stretched like? And would You really think we'd want Your cock after? Get Real!!! Just a random thought. Kisses teek
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its been an okay last few days. wonder why men play games. my old Master emailed me and asked why i don't answer emails. this after He's the one who never calls, writes or talks to me. i answer each and every email He sends and yet He doesn't write back all that much. Hmmmmp. what's with men? Kisses Teek
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its late and i was thinking, something i do too much... anyway i was thinking and of course my thoughts stray where they shouldn't but anyway, i was thinking that i am really tired of men who play games. why can't people just be real and honest? if you are a liar then please just stay away from me. i don't need people like that in my life. if i wanted a liar i would advertise for one. i want real, honest people. so that's it for now. love this journal thing, too bad some people don't read it... kisses teek
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if you want to know what kind of man i like just read my writing at xnxx.com or literotica.com... im Mystress_Carlie.... i want a man like that...
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something else... if You are looking for that fast fuck look else where. i want a Dom, not a fuck buddy. if this is you, then feel free to email.
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To all those who write me and think i'm looking the prefect Dom. First off i'm not looking. i gave that up when i got tired of the games. i don't expect sex either, i know that BDSM is more then that so don't think that is all i'm looking for. i can get that anywhere, if that's all i wanted i wouldn't be on here. i'm not just sitting and waiting, i gave up... i found the perfect One and He won't come to me since i can't come to Him. He can move i can't. so it's time for me to wait for Him. i don't want to but that's life and i have to live it. as for the rest i am tired of the games men play. i tried single men and they want too much, it tried married men (against my morals) and they get all freaky and say i have no time. So I GIVE UP...
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Oh forgot to add. i'm down to 182. WOW!!! Don't know how so don't ask. It might be because we moved to a house with stairs and i run up and down them a lot. i have serious muscle on my legs. Which BTW perfect strangers tell me are very nice. WOW!!! Even for a fat girl... Kisses teek
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i have a question. Why do men post on here and just think that women who respond to them just want to jump right into bed? i'm looking for a DOM who can be what i'm looking for not a fuck buddy. i can get that elsewhere.
Anyway just wondering
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Why do they say love is the best thing you can have. i find that love seems to suck. you get it and it hurts you more then anything ever can. they say its it better to have loved and lost then to never loved at all... i disagree. i'd rather have never loved and lost my heart to someone. it hurts so much when you can't have or be with that one person. i think the world is full of stupid love songs and someone should write about how it really is. "The greatest thing you will ever learn, is just to love and be loved in return." i wish... kisses, teek
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Not sure if i can post this on here but going to try anyway. i write stories about this stuff so i thought i'd give ppl who view me a chance to see who i am. if Y/you like please read and comment...
Go to xnxx.com and click on the stories page. then click on Authors index and look for Mystress_Carlie. i post there.
Tata
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And here i look in the mirror and see a fat girl. then i get on here and it seems that i might not be so unattractive. i'm 5'5" and weight about 190 lbs. i wear a size 16-18. too me i am fat... who knows...
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well here i am once again uncollared and wishing it weren't so but such is life. anyway looking to find someone knew. while i loved Master very much life dictates otherwise and so i must move on.
they say a broken heart mends in time. let's hope so because it hurts a lot.
so on to new life and new people. here's to hoping that there is someone new.
Good-bye old life, Hello NEW
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i miss Master so much. i wish we were closer but life dictates otherwise. oh well i guess, soon all will be right. if problems at home weren't so bad i guess this wouldn't be so hard but then again who knows. i guess i've waited 12 years so what's a few more months right? wrong but oh well. anyway Master know that i love You more then life itself and i miss you more then anything. my heart doesn't beat right without You... kisses to places most needed. Your loving slave... beteken |
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Well here W/we are. W/we've been granted another day with Master. By the grace of the Goddess or by and through someone's magick W/we are allowed one more day. and night.... HEHEHE
i am glad for this time even tho i had things to get done in Colorado. my Son needed a ride to a funeral for a friend who was killed in street racing/DUI accident a week ago. i hope He gets there or heads will roll.
i wasn't ready to leave but life dictates otherwise so i must heed its call... i know soon that i will be where i belong. So Mote it Be!!!
anywho i'll close now cuz i have school work to do and Master will punish me if i fail anymore classes... slave beteken
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well since zoe reminded me that i hadn't written for a while i guess i should write. anyway not much to say so i don't really know what to write about. i love Master and He is my world. sometimes He pisses me off but that is the way of the world... our world anyway... so anyway i don't have anything to say other then, NO MASTER i am not making a mistake... slave beteken
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well here it is... Master has gone to la la land and I'm up thinking about O/our time together soon...Also thinking about what He made me say in the heat of the moment during my orgasm...hope He isn't fucking with my mind...i don't need that... well anyway...i do love You Master...bye... slave beteken
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also allow me to add... It's beteken, prounced bey-teek-en... Its Norwiegin (spelling)... it means naughty...bye again... slave beteken
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So here i am again awaiting Master to come home and talk to me. I really hate staying up late but for Master i would do anything. He is my whole world. While i wait however my thoughts stray to trouble... So i will go check out the chatrooms on here... bye A/all... slave beteken
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So here it is one day on here and already i have men hitting me up. Don't women really use this site? While slave zoe may want a male slave to enjoy, slave beteken doesn't. Except for foot worship... i do love a foot slave...
just so Y/you know, Master Michael isn't in to men so i don't think zoe will get her wish especially since He does for her what she wishes of a male slave anyway... she say's its only for humiliation but i don't really know...
so good day to Y/you all....
slave beteken
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