Summer Spread

            A daisy chain circled her head, resting on her brow as she lay there amongst the sweet summer grass. She smiled, looking up at him, her long lashes lowering for a moment to brush against her cheeks, dark shadows that covered the merriment of her eyes.

            "Don't move." He ordered, watching the momentary confusion that flickered across her gaze.

            "Yes, Master." Her voice soft and husky, full lips pouting for a moment.

            He picked up the pile of daisy chains, altering one before he entwined it around her breasts, binding them with the yellow and white flowers. With a smile he brought her wrists together, resting them on her belly before he bound them likewise with a fresh daisy chain.

            She watched, taking in each new movement, each addition of a flower chain until her ankles were also bound with the delicate chain. Only then did he lean forward, taking one ripe nipple between his teeth and flickering his tongue across it.

            She whimpered, her full breasts trembling with the sound.

            "Ah ah, no moving. For each time you break the chain that will be one strike with the cane tonight."

"Master…"

"Stay still." A test of obedience or just a game? She wasn't to know until it was over. How long would she be able to hold still? Not that it mattered, by the time he was done his slave would break the bonds of the flowers and then – then the true fun would begin…

Hunted

She ran. The breath burned in her lungs. Her hands bunched into fists as she darted between the trees.  She had to escape, she had to find her way back to the car before he caught her.

Oh, god, she didn’t want to be caught. Not by him. Not like this.

Branches snapped behind her. The sound of splintering wood. Heavy footsteps.

Shit, he was close. Too damn close. Fear gnawed a dangerous path through her stomach. Her heart raced, pounding against her chest. The car wasn’t that far away. She knew the path. As long as she stuck to the path she’d be safe. She’d find her way to safety. Away from the shadow who hunted her through the trees.

Don’t look back. Never look back. It’s always a mistake if I…

She glanced back over her shoulder.

A hand tangled in her hair before she could scream. Tight, unyielding as she fell back against him, knocking the breath from her body.

“No, please! I can’t! You can’t do this to me!”

“Yes, I can.” He growled against her ear.  His teeth scraped across her throat. His breath hot, and heavy against her skin. “I’ve caught you. I can do anything I want to with you and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

Pain lanced across her scalp. The grip used to force her against the nearest tree. She cried out, the bark scraping her skin as she was caught between him and the tree. His free hand pushed under her skirt, ripping her panties from body. She cried out. Pain and fear mingling. This was too much. He wasn’t meant to take things this far. No, this wasn’t…

His lips claimed hers, punishing them, bruising them as she struggled beneath him.
She couldn’t breathe, she couldn’t think. All she knew was the feel of the bark digging into her skin, and his hand between her thighs.

Heat curled into life. Thought fled as she gulped for air. Her nipples tightened, hard and eager beneath her light, summer dress.

“You are mine!” His cock thrust into her wet and willing sex. Filling her. Stretching her. “I’ve caught you. There’s no where left to run. You. Are. Mine!” He pulled back, giving her barely a moment to think before he slammed into her again.

Slick heat answered his thrusts. Her legs wrapped around her hips. A willing prey to the hunter. His body claiming hers until she had no choice but to give him everything he wanted. All she could do, all she could utter, was one gasped word.

“Yours…”

Heading up to Fargo today - convention starts tomorrow, but like to be in a day early so there's no rush first thing in the morning. It makes set up a lot easier!

Taking some wine with to launch the new game, and really looking forward to catching up with some kink friendly gamers!

Two more days and I'll be off to another convention. Local one this time, up in Fargo. Should be a blast as the new game is being released. Artwork is fantastic, the background story for the special release dragon is done, and laid out. Only need to add the cover for that one.

Really looking forward to this con!

There are quite a few kink friendly folk at this convention!

Up way too early...

Oh well, there's work to be done. Only a few more days until the convention and I feel like I'm already worn out. Even being home didn't change that - there's just way too much to do, and barely enough time to do it all.

Slipping Through the Cracks - completed! 5228 words.

Which means I have a day to check, and edit it, before it needs to be laid out!

Finally home, and I'm 3945 words into the story. Should be able to have it finished by tomorrow night!

5000 words, or more, to complete before Monday morning. I need to get this background story written for the dragon or it won't be ready for the game release on the 12th! 483 words written so far - and way too many to go!

The die cut pieces for the special release dragon were collected yesterday, and the artwork has been turned in, so it's just my missing piece to complete!

In Grand Forks for until Sunday morning/lunchtime. Hoping to get a few things worked on whilst I'm here. Monday the deadlines become truly tight!

Heading up to the Grand Forks area tomorrow, once we've picked up some of the final printing needed for the new game. Box wraps are the last on the list, but those are collected on Monday.

Will finally be home on Sunday - looking forward to the hot tub.

Made it to Minneapolis, and I'm hoping to get some work done in between handling family matters here.

Counting down to a four/five day trip starting Wednesday. Not a big trip, heading to Minneapolis, then up into North Dakota before returning Sunday. 

Hoping that time in the car will give me a chance to work on some edits, though only time will tell. 

Also have a dragon story I need to complete by the 10th. 

Time, really need some personal time!

Finally managed to fix the epub version for my author - and Amazon is dealt with, only BN to go but the publishers side is down for routine maintenance. Which is a near daily occurrence with them.

I'll have four days where I can focus on writing and edits and then it's back to the grind of fixing formats for various sites. 

Once the new game release is out of the way I might - no promises there - get time to actually relax into a scene. Need a damn good flogging, or caning, knife play or even a simple spanking just to relax!

Every time I get this epub fixed, new errors appear - damned annoying. 

Could really do with a good scene once it's all fixed, but time is finite, and there's a lot to do!

The touch of leather.

The feel of a tight hand in my hair.

The low growl that send shivers down my spine as he speaks that single word.

"Mine."

Yes, I write erotica and erotic romance.

No, that doesn't mean I'll cyber. Sorry, but I've no interest in writing bad porn - and that is all cyber is to me.

Enjoyed a little time in the hot tub last night - even saw a shooting star. It's times like that which remind me how lucky I am to live on the edge of town, where I can see the night sky clearly without any street lights getting in the way.

Hopefully the weather will hold off enough that I can use it again tonight. 

When life gets in the way of scening, at least the hot tub helps!

Hectic here. Planning for a new game release that has kept me hopping with a lot of work related to the release. 

Hoping to get some time to scene soon, but it depends on how things go. Convention release for the game in June - then I might be able to breathe for a few days.

Finally back online here, though things have been hectic with a new game in the works, and my time has been - well - hectic. 

Hopefully I'll be able to keep up again now.

Everything - save for computer bag and immediate needs bag - has been packed in the car. Trailer is packed with stock for the convention, and the route is planned.

Excited about the trip. I've never been to South Carolina before, so it's the next step of an adventure for me. Should be a blast.

Summer Spread

            A daisy chain circled her head, resting on her brow as she lay there amongst the sweet summer grass. She smiled, looking up at him, her long lashes lowering for a moment to brush against her cheeks, dark shadows that covered the merriment of her eyes.

            "Don't move." He ordered, watching the momentary confusion that flickered across her gaze.

            "Yes, Master." Her voice soft and husky, full lips pouting for a moment.

            He picked up the pile of daisy chains, altering one before he entwined it around her breasts, binding them with the yellow and white flowers. With a smile he brought her wrists together, resting them on her belly before he bound them likewise with a fresh daisy chain.

            She watched, taking in each new movement, each addition of a flower chain until her ankles were also bound with the delicate chain. Only then did he lean forward, taking one ripe nipple between his teeth and flickering his tongue across it.

            She whimpered, her full breasts trembling with the sound.

            "Ah ah, no moving. For each time you break the chain that will be one strike with the cane tonight."

"Master…"

"Stay still." A test of obedience or just a game? She wasn't to know until it was over. How long would she be able to hold still? Not that it mattered, by the time he was done his slave would break the bonds of the flowers and then – then the true fun would begin…

Behind Closed Doors

            A moment, a look shared at a family event, just enough to let me know that my words have earned an extra swat tonight. They don't see it, of course, they barely even notice that I defer to you as it's so subtle they wouldn't even know what they were seeing.

            Yet, behind closed doors, I kneel, I struggle to obey, and I attempt to follow your wishes.

            I crave the control, the dominance and you – you answer the question within me.

            Behind closed doors we are…ourselves.

            Sun Touched

            Sunlight dappled through the air, dancing across the naked flesh spread out in the clearing. His property. His flesh. Bared for his amusement and yet all he could do was watch.

            She turned onto her belly, strands of summer grass tickling her thighs, teasing her red tipped nipples as she smiled.

            He didn't move.

            She teased the tip of her tongue out over her full lips, tasting them, parting them as he watched, begging silently for something, anything from him.

            His.

            She moved onto her hands and knees, full breasts depending toward the lush summer spread. Her thighs parting as she arched her back, offering herself.

            Sun light. Naked flesh. Willing flesh.

            She'd beg with words soon enough, aroused by his silent gaze and then – ah yes then her skin would be touched by more than the sun…

Well, despite pain meds and attempts to sleep, I'm getting by on about 4 hours today. Which means taking naps in between managing the major chores.

Soup to make, bacon, cheese and potato cakes to prep, and housework to see to before leaving on Sunday.

Love trips. Hate the prep work for it.

Due to an injury that happened during the last trip (to a convention called Archon) I've had another broken night of sleep. It's not a major thing, but there's a lot of muscle pain involved behind my right shoulder blade and down my right arm.

Fun... not.

One final session with the chief torturer (massage therapist) on Friday before hitting the road again on Sunday for the last convention trip of the year. Hopefully that, the heating pad, arnica cream and (if needed) pain meds, will make the trip bearable.

So, I'm sat up, waiting for meds to kick in before going back to bed again. Blah!

I've been mostly away from the site due to work and other commitments - which is why there haven't been any real updates in my journal.

Right now I'm prepping for a trip to South Carolina for a convention, leaving on Sunday. Another two week trip and in all honesty I'm looking forward to it.

It's one of those days where I keep thinking about the floggers in the case...

The thing to remember when you contact someone who is poly and a geek that if you're not a geek, not poly, and share no interests with that person outside your desire to get laid is this...

It's not going to happen.

That one story set in Thebes turned into two, which means the fourth release for the setting will actually be a triple - two fiction pieces plus the setting book.

On top of that I've got to gather information about the Etruscan pantheon, building on basic information that I've already put together, and then work out what 'spells' would be associated with the various members of the pantheon.

Yes, this is all for a game - and I'm having a lot of fun working on this RPG setting!

Working on a piece set in Ancient Thebes - involving the Goddess Bastet.

Lots of fun, but lots of hard work as well.

Prepping the fiction for the third release in the series! Nice to actually get ahead with the work load.

Fortunately I'm already working with other writers who are interested in writing in the setting, which will make things easier long term.

Writing work is keeping me damned busy... but I'm enjoying it!

It won't be long before I get to write one of the kinky books for this setting, and there's already been one release with erotic content.

*Happy dance* Book filtered through onto Amazon's kindle platform. For those interested, it's a vampire erotica novella - the meeting of Caine and Lilith and his corruption by Lilith!

So, it's back to writing the background information for the next one!

The convention went very well, and the first of the vampire novella's went on sale. Now, it's onto tweaking the Romulus story, and the setting information, so that can be released next month.

No rest for the wicked!

Another very long day ahead with the lead up to this convention. Final days are always filled with too much work and not enough sleep, but they're always worth it in the long run.

One thing I've learned over the years is there's a huge cross over between the geek community and the kink community.

Off to a local convention this weekend!

Looks like I get to spend the day researching the Etruscans... weapons, slaves, trade, etc.

Good job I actually like my work!

All hands to the pump here as the company is prepping for two conventions first weekend of May. One I'm attending - another is being represented by one of the creative heads of another game department.

I need a clone.

Or a wife.

Neck deep in writing background for a set of Cat Shifters now - endless research and writing, but I'm enjoying it.

Finally got all the basic information on the Vampire houses written up for the new RPG, now it's onto biographical information for two of the characters. That should give the team chance to go over the House information before I go back and then do the adult/mature content version for the second incarnation of the book.

Hmm, lots of potential for bdsm, kink and erotica there!

Busy day ahead, lot of background information for the Vamps to write for the RPG setting. I've also got to get started on the adult content/erotica side for the same game! Fun fun!

Back to working on the Urban Fantasy information - currently writing background material for the Vampire Houses within the RPG.

Fun thing about this game is there will be an adult content option!

Finished the Were background story and onto a Skinwalker background piece. Lot of work for this Urban Fantasy RPG, but it will be worth it.

Gearing up for another convention beginning on May, but it's a local one this time, so easier to plan for.

Finally managed to carve out some time to check back on Collarme. Every time I think I have my work balanced out with free time, something tips the scale again!

Currently working on background stories for an Urban Fantasy RPG that's in the works.

Managed 3500 words so far today on an BDSM erotic romance.

It's still pretty bad road wise here, thick ice in places but we avoided the blizzard.

Roads are slick here, winter storm coming in that we might get a little of. Blizzard warning for north of us.

Ick.

Wind is picking up here and we're heading into some nasty weather by the looks of things. So, this might be a weekend for curling up with a hot drink and a good book.

Trip to Seattle has been confirmed and looks like I'll be heading out on Feb 25th, returning around March 8th.

Seven weeks and I'll be off to Seattle for a convention!

Well, flu or not I've got to get some work done on this manuscript. So, I'm going to try and get a thousand words added in between answering emails.

Hopefully I can still write erotic scenes when I'm fighting this flu! It's certainly a different type of challenge...

Damn flu.

Jan 1st I get hit with this and I'm only just struggling free of it. Nasty bug.

I've got about 10,000 words left before I finish the third of the BDSM/Ds series I'm currently working on. Hoping to get back into the right head space in order to be able to complete it.

It's been a hectic couple of months and I need to get everything straight in my mind before the new year begins.

Feeling a lot better but still have some healing to do.

Yesterday was a long one with family, and I ended the day in a lot of pain. But it was worth it - even though I'm now back a step or two on the recovery stage.

Getting restless though, ready to start doing something even if I'm not allowed to quite yet.

As for today, still sore, and I tried sitting at my art desk but after twenty minutes I was hurting and coughing from the positioning. Still, I managed those twenty minutes.

Improving with each day and last night was the first time I as able to sleep without the aid of codeine since the surgery. So, that's a major step. I might have to use it once during the day depending on how far I push myself but so far things are looking good.

Coughing doesn't hurt as much though it still causes pain, and laughing is still a no as that really hurts, but it's not the 'omg I'm being ripped apart' pain that it was even a few days ago.

Baby steps but they're paying off.

Frustration set in today when I was trying to go to see a high school play. A walk that would have, normally, taken me at most 5 minutes - took close to 20.

Yes, I know, patience. Healing isn't instant. My body is recovering and I still managed to do a few minutes on the treadmill as well today, but still it's hard not to become annoyed with the weakness that is currently plaguing my body.

Blah.

Despite the discomfort I managed to get on the treadmill to start the small walking that is needed to begin the build up of strength after surgery. It wasn't a huge amount of time and it was just low level walking, but I did it.

And tomorrow I'll do it again. Small steps, but they'll turn into bigger ones when I'm strong enough.

In a lot of pain this morning, worse than its been for a few days though it could be because this is the longest I'd gone without pain meds since the operation and I wasn't aware of how deeply my body was relying on them until this point.

Oh the joys of surgical bruising and swelling.

It will pass, I know it will, but right now all I want to do is huddle under blankets, pull a pillow against sites, and whimper.

Sleep patterns are still thrown off - I'm hoping that they'll be back to normal within a few more days.

So, I'll try and get some rest on and off otherwise it's another night of being awake until 3amish. Blah.

My body decided yesterday was too much and as such I've been put on bed rest for a day or two to let the stitches and area around the stitches recover from the prodding, poking and strain. Oddly enough this makes things easier as it's easier to get up and out of bed than it is getting up and out of the chairs - so fewer chances of the stitches being pulled or serious damage being done.

In the chair I could only get out with help, so this allows me to be a little more independent, which has to be a good thing. 

Surgeon is pleased with how I'm healing but I've got another week, minimum, on restrictions. So, things are going well, I've just got to be patient and remember baby steps.

Hospital tomorrow for a check up from the surgeon. Hoping he's pleased with how I'm doing and that he gives me the all clear. I'm a long way of being fully healed but I'm on the way there which is what counts.

Sneezing = screaming even with a brace.

Moving a little better but when it hurts damn... Stitches are a royal pain. Move the wrong way and they pull - which feels like you're being ripped even though you know you aren't.

By Wednesday I should be able to move a lot better, or that's the hope as that's when I have to see the doctor again.

A late night as I'm waiting for a time when I can take the next set of meds. So, another hour plus before I can try and get myself into bed, but I know the days of this type of pain are numbered.

On a 'sad' note I had one guy contact me today who really proved how little some get it. I mean, come on, trying to cyber with a woman 48 hours out of surgery is lame to the nth degree...

Moving a little better today but still in a lot of pain. It will be a couple of days before I can move safely on my own. Right now I look like I've been in a knife fight but the incisions are slowly healing up and I'm already able to move a little better than I could yesterday.

After the convention I was exhausted and barely 9 days later I was in surgery. So, at this point, I'm in a lot of pain, on fairly high level pain meds (as surgery was yesterday) and recovering slowly.

I'm on very very light duties right now and playing catch up on emails.

Two more days and then I see the doctor. All being well they'll get me a surgery referral ASAP. Right now even lifting the laundry basket results in some 'interesting' pain levels that I could really do without.

Drained today and tomorrow will be a long day. Still, I'm counting down the days until the trip as it will be a break from work here.

Okay, it's also for work but it's a type that can be very refreshing for me.

Counting down to the convention in Ann Arbor, but I'm restricted on what I'm allowed to do preparation wise. Still, I'm looking forward to it. There tend to be quite a few kinky or kink friendly people at these cons.

Well, bitten the bullet and started the lead into surgery - if I don't get this dealt with the pain level is going to make it impossible to work and it's all ready reduced my ability to get on the treadmill, or focus on writing.

So, appointment for a referral on the 16th, and hopefully they'll be able to slot me in before Thanksgiving for the actual surgery.

Bit chilly today. Perhaps a flogging to warm things up.

Canes, beautiful instruments in the right hands.

There are days when all I want to do is curl up with a chain fastened around my ankle.

Low grade fever has hit - it can go away now as I could really do without this!

Little achy today, weather change perhaps? About 100 miles north of us was hit with the first real bout of winter weather but here we were lucky, freezing rain and wind. What little snow we had melted and didn't really stick.

Long day today, and I'm drained. Hoping to get back to normal tomorrow! Not sure if I'm going to get the chance to work on any artwork tonight but did finish a piece last night.

Lots to learn but I'm enjoying the process.

Well, back on track this morning and I managed to finally finish a piece of artwork I'd been working on over the weekend. It's nothing special, but I was glad to get it done. I'm not very good yet and it's going to take years to learn the skills required.

I'm hoping to get about 2000 words added to the current manuscript but that's easily doable.

Back to work! I'm at the halfway point on the manuscript which means I should be able to get this done well and truly before hitting the road to Ann Arbor on the 23rd.

Back to bed shortly, now that the 'muse' side of my nature has been satisfied for a few hours. When that wakes me up with story notes, or characters demanding attention, there's only one answer.

Up, write, get the ideas down, and then I can rest again.

So, a few more hours of sleep before I knuckle down with work for the day. All being well I'll add another chapter to the current story and be able to work on a piece of artwork.

It's a plan at least.

Long day but a good one.

Didn't get the artwork or the writing done that I wanted to do, but I enjoyed my time and I'll jump back into things tomorrow. I might even get the chance to do a little artwork tonight, but that's debatable.

Still tired, but then again for some reason I had a broken nights' sleep. I'm hoping I can get some work done today, and perhaps some artwork. It will take me a while to get out of the funk/drag that my head has slipped into today.

A good hard flogging would help, but as always, there's a time issue. That's the joy of real life, it tends to interfere with the more enjoyable aspects of life.

Exhausted but home after getting some chores seen too, all being well I'll get chance to relax a little tomorrow, but it depends on how much work there is for me in the morning.

Busy day today, running around with chores, all being well the weekend will be a little calmer. The flogging helped yesterday but the weekend won't allow for much - if any - in the way of play/scening.

Enjoyed a lovely flogging this afternoon, with a few strokes of the single tail as an added bonus!

Slowly slogging away on the new book, and still trying to juggle time for a spanking or flogging. Hopefully it will all work out!

Busy day, all ready 10,000 words into book three so I should have this one well and truly finished before the deadline. I've given the publishers the heads up that this will turn into a four book series instead of the trilogy, at least that's the feeling I'm getting from the story right now.

I'll have to try and carve out the time for a spanking or a flogging, but that means juggling the work load a little more.

Book two has been accepted by the publisher and I'm onto book three! I'm hoping to get it finished prior to heading out to Ann Arbor next month, which is very workable.

Also managed to finish another piece of artwork this morning, I'm still very much the beginner with such things but I'm enjoying the work.

Enjoyed the munch last night, small group but a lot of fun, hoping to attend other gatherings in the future but the timing of the next one doesn't work due to a trip to Ann Arbor. But, all being well, there'll be other munches to attend later in the year.

Finished! Book two is done and needs one last read through before I send it off to the publisher. Then it will be onto book three though I won't be starting that fully until Sunday as there's a munch to go to on Saturday.

It's been a while since I've been to a munch, a couple of years, and I'm hoping it goes well.

I'm down to the last chapter of the novel, and the previous chapter was extremely steamy - at least according to my beta reader heh.

Just tying up loose ends in the story before I give it a once over and send it onto the publisher.

Sometimes all that's needed is a good, old fashioned, spanking.

Another piece of artwork finished, and I'm down to the last part of the story. I've got the ending planned out, and I'm writing the final BDSM scene now. However, I might need to add another 2000 words to round out the story in order to make it truly work.

Then it will be onto planning the third book.

6000 words left to go and the project is finished! I've also been able to spend some time practicing my drawing, and it's made me realize how out of practice I now am.

Onto the last third of the book and I'll be well and truly finished on time, which means I can then start, almost immediately, on book three. I've also got to plan out the next SF erotic romance, with D/s elements.

I've got quite a few other stories to work on as well, for various projects and there's the trip to Ann Arbor next month!

Sleep was broken again last night, but I'm not going to let that stop me from getting on with my work. I'm past the half way point on the current story, and I need to write at least 1500 words a day in order to meet the deadline. It's doable and I used to be able to write a lot more in a day.

Another night of broken sleep... damned annoying.

I've hit the half way point on the current novel with 8 days left to go before I need to turn this into the publisher. I'm on track, which helps, and I'm fairly pleased with the way the story is turning out.

Some improvement today, I'm moving a little better than I was a few days ago so all being well I'm actually on the mend.

Hoping that I'll be able to attend a local munch on the 22nd, but it all depends on health and work at this point.

Long, tiring day today, running around catching up with chores and appointments, and I'm paying for it now. My body isn't happy with me, and it's likely pushed my recovery back a day or two, but the work had to be done.

Didn't get much done in the way of writing, however, but I should be able to catch up on that tomorrow all being well.

Back to the grindstone - lots to write before this one will be finished. Also have to start planning out the next two novels. The third in this series and a third in the SF setting.

Slowly working on the current bdsm erotica novel, with plans on having it ready to turn in to the publisher around the 21st.

Well, my hope for a decent sleep fled and I'm once again up. Blah.

Little on the sore side today, muscle aches, but it will pass.

Raining so no hot tub time for me today. Oh well, there's always tomorrow.

I'm a little more with it than I was earlier in the day, which is a plus. All being well I should be able to get some work done and play catch up with some of the chores I need to get done.

I need to check the canes, make sure that they aren't showing any signs of damage or wear, same with the floggers. They might not be used anytime soon, but it's always best to make sure that they're in good condition.

Another night of broken sleep. Sadly this is becoming the norm again.

Nothing better than a soak in the hot tub after a busy day.

A few hours of peace and quiet - and that's ideal for work. All being well I'll be able to add a couple of thousand words to the current project, get my chores done and keep on top of things.

It will be a few more days, perhaps even weeks, before things are calm enough to settle and indulge in something like a flogging, but I'm a realist at the end of the day. If time is found, then wonderful, if not such is life.

Working on a flogger scene in the latest story, building the tension, the feel of the leather against naked flesh, the mix of pain, fear and pleasure - and so far the scene is turning out very well.

Bad news is its also reminding me how long its been since I've been able to relax and enjoy the flogger myself - oh well, such is life.

Six times this one 'dominant' contacts me demanding I enter a chat with him. Six times I refuse him - and get told he'd have 'sold me all ready' yet he keeps trying to get me to enter a chat with him.

He's now on block because, frankly, it was like watching a three year old stomp his foot, and make demands, expecting the answer to change because - well - don't I know he's important and I should do whatever he says.

Some people's children...

If you're going to try and lie to me, when I catch you out stomping your foot and claiming I shouldn't 'speak to a master' like that, doesn't help you.

It amuses me, but the first rule on behavior when you're caught doing something/saying something wrong is to stop digging. Not then try and speed dig your way to the other side of the planet.

It's been a while since I've had the chance to enjoy the touch of a flogger, but all being well that will change in the coming weeks. It's all about juggling the time.

Love the fact that, when the need strikes, I can settle into the hot tub for ten minutes or so. Only had it since May, but I'm damn glad it's there now.

I've got 28,000 words to write and polish before the 21st September. I should be able to get it done in time, especially as it's a BDSM themed piece. Then it's onto another erotica novel, though I need to decide what the next piece will be. I've got several in mind but it depends on timing and other work loads.

It's been slow going on the start of this new story, but I'm hoping to be able to pick up the pace on work once Tuesday comes around. Slowly working on a flogging scene in this one, so far it's turning out quite well.

Finished!

60,900 words of science fiction erotic romance finally finished. Now it's with the beta reader, and I'm onto the next story. The second in a contemporary erotic bdsm series!

On the final stretch with the current story, tweaking the ending and then there'll be minor changes when each chapter comes back from my beta readers.

With that one out of the way I'm onto book two of a bdsm erotica series for another publisher. Book one has already been released and they want the second book!

Sometimes I wonder...

If a slave is worthless, then why do so many seek to own one?

- For the record no I don't think slaves or submissives are worthless, but you see this on a lot of profiles, from both subs/slaves and doms/masters. It makes no sense at all, why would anyone wish to own something or someone who was without worth?

Slowly tweaking the science fiction erotic romance novel, working on a few of the sex scenes to make them a little smother to a reader. Right now the novel is 58,000+ and it should be around 65,000 by the time I'm finished.

Publisher sent me a promo video for the new BDSM erotic romance series I'm writing for them, and the first book in the series went live on Friday!

I'll have to see how the new corset looks on me at some point over the weekend. It felt really good when I tried it on at the convention, but this will be the first time I'll have worn it for more than a few minutes. It's just a case of finding the time to try it on.

Up way too early and heading back to bed shortly. I've got a lot of work to do this weekend, catching up with work on a manuscript, along with work from the convention.

There's another one that I might be attending in Ann Arbor in October, but that's yet to be confirmed. There's even talk of one in Colorado Springs in January, but weather is a major factor for that one!

Convention went very well and I'm hoping to go again next year, perhaps even have a booth.

Came back with my first full corset as well!

Just sent off the prologue to a friend to test read through. She's never read anything of mine before and I've warned her - it's 2000 word of sex, sexual tension, and oh, did I mention sex?

I've managed to meet my goal, writing wise, today. And I'm slowly going back through the story, tightening up the sex scenes, making them sizzle. Or that's the plan!

Balancing work with being a slave is never easy, but work is required and not something I'm about to give up on. There are days, however, where I can be working a 14 -16 hour day, actually that's pretty common... but it's the nature of the beast.

37,000 words into an erotic romance novel with bdsm and ds aspects. All being well I'll have the first draft completed before heading out to Indianapolis on the 16th!

New BDSM book accepted by one publisher, another one with BDSM/Ds aspects in the works for a second publisher.

And plans to hit Indianapolis later this month. Busy times!

Finally got back online here after - for whatever reason - I couldn't access this site or the other one I'm on.

Took a bit of a crack today, so my cheek is a little tender but it will feel a lot better tomorrow.

Bit chilly today and I'm playing catch up with some editing work. Things have, however, started to settle down a little which will make life easier for me in the long run.

Completed the Nano challenge and work has finally eased up. Felt like I fell into a hole for the majority of the month!

Now, if I can just find a little time to breathe.

Almost ten thousand words into the Nanowrimo challenge and it looks like I'll be able to meet the goal without any real problem.

Well, I'm 4500 words into the Nano project, and my sleep pattern has been thrown out of wack again. I've already been to bed once but after 90 minutes my body decided that no, I had to get up again.

Hopefully I'll be able to go back to bed again within the next hour as I really need a good nights worth of sleep. Would it really be so much to ask for eight hours, undisturbed?

Apparently right now it would be...

Nanowrimo

It's been a couple of years since I took part in Nano, but I've finally knuckled down to the challenge. All being well I'll be able to complete it this year.

As for what it is? It's national write a novel in a month. The challenge is to write a 50,000 word novel in the month of November.

Went through the toy box and there are a couple of repairs that need to be taken care of.

Looks like I'm going to have to soak the canes and then re-varnish them - but then again they're a few years old and I don't want the spring/flexibility to be lost from them. They're beautiful pieces of rattan!

One of the floggers needs a stitch in the handle, so that's a quick fix.

And one of the paddles has a slit nick in it, so a rub down and varnish to fix it. Nothing major in all honesty, just a couple of small jobs to keep things useable.

Library has been almost set up for the art table, so I'll be able to start moving my paper and other items into the room later this week. I've got a few things to set up in there as well, and the lighting has to be improved, but it will all work out.

Really happy about all of this! Art and writing both act as focal points and calm factors for me. Okay, it's not as good as a hard spanking, or flogging, but it works!

Sometimes there's nothing like a good, old fashioned spanking.

The Most/Best Toys Syndrome.

Ever heard the expression boys and their toys?

Sadly it's an expression that fits with more than a few 'doms'. But there's a lesson I was taught a long time ago. It's not about the amount of toys, but the person using them, and the best toy of all is the human mind.

It honestly doesn't matter how many toys he or she has, if that top lacks the ability to use their mind and can't get into the mind of the sub in question, it's not going to work.

Getting into the mind of another takes time, patience, and the ability to communicate. And those aren't things you can buy, their either skills you've learned or skills you haven't. There is no real middle ground with this.

Amusing...

I get contacted by a younger 'dom' for advise yesterday. When I ask him not to contact me again after an odd conversation with him today, he gets insulting.

Now, why did I ask him not to contact me again? Because his messages gave me that 'something's not right with this one' feeling.

And in sending me the insulting message when I'd asked, politely, for him to not contact me again, he proved he was nothing more than a little boy who truly hasn't got a clue. All I did was laugh and block him - after reporting his abusive message - because frankly the kid has to really be just that - a child.

Last of the books have been bound for the week, so my hands can have a break. That's the problem with the binding, it's done by hand and using the pressure machine builds up a sore point on both palms.

Oh well, need to look into good, thin, work gloves so it's easier on my hands.

Another set of books bound and shipping out today all being well. Hands hurt right now, but at least that's all done and out of the way.

All being well once the next batch is done tomorrow I'll be able to get a break from the binding and cover creasing. Been a while since I've put in so many hours on the physical production of the books but I enjoy it for the most part.

Spent two hours binding books and creasing covers today, really need to look into getting a good work glove in order to protect my hand when doing the creasing.

Everything's caught up on after the trip, which means tomorrow it's back to the normal run of work.

Perhaps, in a day or so, the floggers will be put to use, but only time will tell there.

Home after a brief but much needed vacation. Didn't realize how exhausted I was until I was able to step away from work for three days! Hopefully that will keep me recharged until next summer.

Another snippet...

Linda paused perhaps taking a moment to settle her thoughts. “I’m just not sure what you could use in a kitchen for – for sexual purposes.”

            “My, my, you are an innocent. Are you sure you’re not a virgin, girl? I’d never thought someone of your age could be so naïve.”

            Linda flushed instantly. “No, no of course not. I just – well – this is for eating, or making food, not sex.”

Today's snippet.

Was her pussy rippling in heated need as she walked over to the chair and bent at the waist. He hoped so, it would match the throbbing ache that stiffened his cock even now. He bit back a growl of delight as her buttocks tightened and back arched even as she edged her feet back from the chair.

And today's snippet.

“You want it, don’t you? That moment when you can surrender to another, lean on their strength, and know that you’re safe. You want to know the mix of pain and pleasure that I can provide. That’s why you pushed this with me, isn’t it? Why you’ve finally asked me out, knowing what I am and what I enjoy.”

His words; she could still hear them and worse, feel them. He hadn’t touched her when he’d spoken, yet her body had tightened in anticipation, images of his hand in her hair, her body bound, spread and helpless beneath his, open and willing for his touch. No matter what that touch may bring.

Today's snippet.

She moaned, her eyes closed as she relaxed into the blows. No cries of pain. No whimpers. Just low, sensual moans of delight. Mark smiled and added a little more force to the blows, angling them a little more so a sting mixed with the thud of the leather against her flesh. Simon followed suit.

Irene gasped, arching in delight. Her breath coming in small sobs as she clenched her hands. Each new wave of blows sent a roll through her hips and the air was quickly saturated with the scent of her arousal. Over and over again the floggers struck the woman. Never stopping. No pauses. Only the rapid, deep beat of leather against flesh.

Part of the current work in progress.

Mark nodded and walked away from the booth, stopping only long enough to watch the man on the stage and his use of the cane. Not every strike fell with a harsh crack, instead he tapped the cane in small, rapid movements that vibrated over the girl’s buttocks.

            She arched and moaned, her hips rolling with the fast tempo set by the cane. Even from here Mark could see how aroused the woman was and had little doubt that the small piece of cloth between her thighs was now soaked with her desire.

            The man glanced over his shoulder and smiled a dark tint to his eyes. Before it happened Mark knew what the man was about to do.

            A loud crack split the air. A cry of pain, pleasure, of the need for more, followed from the woman. Her hips rolled, her bottom lifted for the next stroke but the man shook his head and returned to the rapid tapping of the cane.

And I'm diving back into writing. I've got a 40K+ novella to finish, heavy on the BDSM and erotic elements, in fact there has to be sex/erotic scenes every 2000 words or so in order to fit the requirements of the publisher.

So, that means writing an erotic opening scene and that's what I'm working on first.

No Trust --

Apparently it's when I refuse to go and listen to website to listen to a type of music I have no interest in and can honestly say I dislike.

Personally that has nothing to do with trust and everything to do with personal taste.

All but the deepest bruises from the fall have healed now, and although I'm no longer limping it's through sheer force of will. So, I'm moving a little slowly, trying not to push myself, but being a little more active each day.

All being well even the stiffness will be gone soon and I'll be able to enjoy more pleasant things.

Still limping and I'm stiff, sore and the bruises are really starting to come out now. Small, but a very deep, dark purple.

Damnit, when I fall I fall hard.

Still sore and healing. Looks like I'm going to be limping for a few days to come but I'll feel better eventually and then I can dive back into work!

Fresh marks...and not the good kind.

A slip and fall in the front yard and now I'm paying the price. Right knee, ankle, hip and wrist are all aching. Knee is well bruised and skinned, and I'm going to be limping for a few days.

Blah.

Right now I'm sporting a very slight mark on my left cheek. A slap from a scene yesterday that was misjudged very slightly. But I'm fortunate, it's not something I have to explain, not something that turns into a full bruise, just an outline of a finger in a red color where the capillaries burst.

It will be gone within another day or so, but I find myself touching it every now and then even though it actually doesn't hurt!

Mine

At the end of a long day there's one word, one simple word that my Master can say that settles me. That puts me back where I need to be.

"Mine."

The touch of his hand in my hair, that moment before he grasps, before he tips my head back and growls against my ear, or into my neck. Growls that word so it vibrates through my body and I feel it down into my soul.

"Mine."

It doesn't matter what follows after, if I shake myself and get on with work, or he drags me to the bedroom to reinforce matters, that words remains a powerful trigger.

"Mine."

His. Always his. Doing the dishes, editing a novel, writing one, working on a piece of artwork, or chasing our youngest to get his room tidied. I am his.

It's been a long few days and I'm hoping to find some down time in order to enjoy a little 'play' in the next few days.

Back to my writing so here's a snippet.

Each new double strike sent a wave through her. Her hips rolled, her eyes half closing beneath the rising pleasure that coiled through her. It should hurt but her body had other ideas. She moaned, arching in pleasure. Her body shook and her breath hitched as she waited for the next blow and the next.

                                                                                Awoken

                Her eyes snapped open at the first buzz between her legs. Her hands clenched tight, restrained above her head on the bed, her soft moan half muffled by the gag that filled her mouth.  Her sight stolen by a simple strip of black cloth bound over her eyes.

                No, please no. Not this time.

                He wasn’t listening. What she wanted didn’t matter. Gods, how she knew that now and she knew better than to fight him on this, or any other matter.

                Slowly the buzzing increased, vibrations playing between her thighs centered on her clit. Sweat beaded across her body. Her thighs tensed as she tried to fight it, tried to ignore the wave of sensations that rippled through her slick inner walls.

                Her teeth clenched around the gag. She wouldn’t give in this time. She’d beat it. She’d…

                Her cunt tightened, heat coating her inner walls. Thought fled as her hips rolled, dancing to the pace set by the butterfly. Her toes curled, back arched, heels digging into the bed beneath her. It hit without mercy, without care of what she wanted, tearing the release from her body in a merciless wave of pleasure and control, leaving her shaking and sated on the bed.

                Awoken to face the day…

(one I wrote back in 2010)

Today's WIP snippet.

Paige fought against the urge to struggle. She couldn’t breathe, not like this. Her hands clenched behind her back and she tried not to fight him but it was becoming harder to focus. Harder to push past the urge to fight him, bite him, do anything that would allow her to gasp, to taste the sweet air that her lungs now craved.

Submitting to darkness.

Part of being a slave, to me, is submitting to something where there is no personal pleasure involved. That’s something that I’m occasionally called upon to do by my Master.

Master, like many a dominant I’ve known over the years, has a dark side. A beast, dark passenger, the animal, call it what you will but it’s something that does exist and many dominants struggle with. However, every now and then it needs to be ‘fed’, let out within a controlled set of circumstances so that it doesn’t then break free.

That happened last night. What I submitted to was for his benefit. I trusted him not to overstep my limits and what followed was brutal, involved no pleasure for me, but was sorely needed by him. I am, today, slightly bruised and sore, but he is settled and that is, to me, what counts when this happens.

He still cares for me after such an event. I’m tended to, be it getting me into a hot bath, good shower, any minor injuries tended, and I feel no fear nor sense of being pushed into it. There’s no abuse as it’s consensual. He doesn’t tell me he needs it, I spot it within him and initiate the discussion that leads to it. I make it clear to him I am agreeing and submitting to something he needs. To me this is part of not only being submissive to him but a duty of care I have, as his slave, to him. Yes, odd perhaps, but I firmly believe that not only does a Master/Dominant have a duty of care to his slave/submissive, but that a slave/submissive has that same duty to the one they have submitted to.

Some would call, if they knew the details of it all, what happened last night abuse. They would, however, be very wrong. It was nothing more than the submission of a slave to her Master.

Snippet from the current work in progress.

Paige tugged on the boots, checking that her stockings only just peeked out above the top of the cuffs. The boots sported four inch heels and clung to her legs, moulding to them all the way to mid-thigh level. The skirt was short and slightly flared, leaving a two inch gap between the bottom of the skirt and the top of her boots. The shirt clung to her breasts leaving no doubt that she was without a bra and in certain lights was nearly see-through. A more than daring combination considering she’d be walking in daylight in public.

Diving back into my writing! I'm 1500 words into an erotic BDSM short story and hope to have it finished and polished by Tuesday.

No Rights

There are more than a few dominants who believe a slave has no rights at all. That they're property in the ancient sense.

To me that shows they haven't thought this through.

A slave always has at least one right - the right to end the relationship. To say otherwise isn't being a dominant, to me, it's being abusive. Honestly, how are you going to stop someone from leaving?

Lock them up for life?

Beat them unconscious? Repeatedly?

Kill them?

If someone really wants to leave/end a relationship, they will. And to stop them, to say 'no you're a slave you can't leave' crosses the line, to me, from being a dominant to being abusive.

D/s IS consensual, submitting to someone is consensual. Claiming once a person has consented they can't withdraw that consent is, to me, the same as an abusive boyfriend saying 'bitch you can't leave' and beating the woman to death.

Reality - it's a wonderful concept. Sadly some people forget it from time to time.

Sunlight's Seduction

            Did she dare?

            Tall trees, the protection of dense brush around the edge of the property, but there was still the chance that someone would see her…

            Her heart raced as she reached with nervous fingers for the ties on her bikini top. With a swift tug her breasts were free. A second tug undid the strings at her hips and she tossed both scraps of material aside before she closed her eyes and lay back on the lounger.

            Warmth flushed across her naked skin, heated from within and without.

            Naughty, so very naughty. All it would take was one neighbor peeking in, or a visitor calling without warning, and she'd be caught. Found naked, bare for all the world to see.

            Her nipples peeked at the thought, the skin across her breasts taut, tingling beneath the soft, sun warmed breeze, as gentle as a lovers caress. Alone, all she had to do was remember she was alone. The neighbors worked, the trees tall and thick, and she wouldn't be seen.

            But what if she was?

            What if, even now, someone watched her, goggle eyed through a blind?

            Her thighs parted at the thought, her right hand drifting down between her thighs even as she strained her ears, trying to listen. Nothing. If someone was watching, they did so silently.

            One finger slipped between her nether lips, teasing them apart. Wet. Liquid desire freely coated her lower lips, her clit exposed, throbbing, begging for her touch.

            Or the touch of another…

            She sucked in her bottom lip, a low groan filling the air in soft tremors as her fingers danced in swift circles over that soft, wet nub. Each pass triggered a roll through her needful body, her hips lifting, grinding in time to the play of her fingers.

            When had she last been this eager, even for her own touch?

            Pressure built between her thighs. Heat, need, fear of being caught, the delight of being seen, all mingled within her. She should have stopped. Should have grabbed her clothing and darted inside, or at least put her bikini back on. But her fingers didn't stop. She couldn't stop.

            Sunlight dappled her skin, urging her onward in heated kisses from her unseen lover. Her grasp on her lower lip failed, pleasure surging through her body in a rapid, dangerous, addictive wave as she cried out. The sound echoed through the back yard, and she finally opened her dazed eyes, glancing around at the blind covered windows.

            Something moved, little more than a sliver of darkness behind a blind, and for a moment fear blanched the heat from her flesh.

            Then it was gone.

            Nothing more than a shadow, a bird, or a cloud, that was all.

            That was what she told herself as she picked up her bikini and darted inside. Nothing more than a shadow…

Well, the news came in - and the decision on the trip will be made in the next 3-7 days. There's a chance the trip won't be needed, but odds are either Florida or New York will be in my future shortly for a brief visit.

Well, depending on what happens in the next few days it looks like I've got a short notice trip to either New York or Florida.

When commenting on training someone it's best to actually know a person before making the bold statement that they require training.

As one 'dominant' found out I don't believe that a stranger, especially one too damn lazy to even read a profile, can assess if a slave or submissive is in need of training.

To me training is done for one of two reasons.

1- An unowned submissive decides he or she needs to learn a specific skill.

2- A slave's owner, or submissive's dominant decides that the slave or submissive needs to learn a skill.

Oh, and this 'dominant' made his bold statement based on, and I quote, "It's obvious and you're in Minnesota."

So being in Minnesota means I need training. Oh. Wow! In that case it would also apply to his 27 year old self with his entire '10 years of training girls'.

Said 'dominant' may well have 'trained girls', but his obvious lack of understanding about women who happen to be either slaves or submissives is so blatant that it's laughable.

His response to my reply was to pre read the email and then delete 'unread' after he figured out I'm neither a child, nor an idiot. And yes, I'm guessing on the pre-read, but I feel it's a fairly safe guess.

The mark of a truly 'experienced dominant and trainer', yes?

Quarterly reports are finally done! It's the one thing I really dislike as an EiC, and thankfully it's something I only have to do every three months.

So, once things settle again tomorrow I can balance my time between editing for the company and my own writing. That, in return, lowers my stress levels and allows me to focus. Odd, I know, but I find that as long as I can get a little of my own writing done most days I'm a much calmer/happier person.

Hectic, and time to write has been sparse. Hoping that changes soon as I need to get that story finished.

Once that's finished I've got the novella to work on.

Sadly things have been so busy I've barely had time to breathe and I really need some down time right about now.

I'm back to writing again, working on a bdsm story with a voyeuristic aspect.

My focus is off so, even though I've been trying to write, the words haven't been coming easily to me. I'm hoping I can find my focus in the coming days as this makes it harder for me in every day matters as well.

I'm 12,000 words into the novella with 28,000 to go. As erotic content goes it's fairly intense and I'm hoping to get this completed by this time next month. That allows me to work on other projects at the same time and keep up with my editing.

Enjoyed my night out a great deal and just before I left for that night there was some extra good news.

The third story that I'd sent off to the editor had been accepted. So, that's three for three!

So the current goals are to complete the novella AND work on one or two more short stories for the same editor. I'm not sure about publication dates as yet, but I do know they won't be released until sometime in 2012.

Heading out to Fargo tonight for a rare night out! Truly looking forward to the down time as it's sorely needed!

Well, the story is on its way to the editor and until I hear back from him I'm going to get a little work done on a BDSM erotica novella. That's a story I'm now 8000 words into with about 32000 to go! So, I'm a ways off finishing that one.

And it's finished. 4200 words of erotica! It's currently off to my beta readers and once I get feedback I can polish and send it off to the editor!

Done to the last 1000 words on the current erotica story!

OMG! I've just had word that the second story I sent off to the same publisher has been accepted! I'm floating here - now I have to find a way to come back down to earth so I can complete the third one!

Back to the grindstone! I've got to get this new story finished before I can move onto anything else and I've just got to the point where the Hero/Heroine have reached the hotel room so now the 'good' stuff begins.

Sixteen hundred words into the four thousand word erotica story. It's a type of erotica I've not written before but it appears to be going well so far. As long as I can keep the story from taking off on its own, then it should work out well!

The marks from the flogger have faded all ready and it's back to working on a new story. I'm 400 words into the new erotica piece, with about 3600 words left to go. It's already turning into a delicious little piece!

My back is a lovely shade of pink with the occasional small mark. Sadly by noon it will be mostly gone...

A good long flogging followed by knife place (sensation not cutting), put me in just the right head space to start on the next story.

One 4000 word very hot erotic BDSM story almost finished. All I've got to do is read through, polish, and then it's done!

1500 words left to go on the erotic story and I might get it done before the end of the day. If nothing else it will get done by tomorrow dinner time without any real problem at all!

Then comes the proof reading and polishing side of the job.

Two thousand words done on this erotic story, two thousand words left to go. Which means I should have this written and polished by Monday morning without any problems.

Well, looks like I've now got two more 4000 word very erotic stories to write, with a deadline of September 2nd!

Already working on the first one!

One of my erotic romances just got a five star review! *happy dance*

Time to get some kinky writing done!

The writing has gone well today, which means I'm back on track with projects. The current one has a lot of D/s and BDSM content, and I'm hoping to have it finished within the next 21 days.

CM chat does not work for me, like so many others on this site.

Sending me chat requests is only going to get the chat turned down and a message sent explaining the situation.

Sadly, there's at least one guy on here who doesn't even bother to read the explanation. Doesn't delete it. Just lets it sit there.

If you really want to 'chat' to me, it has to be via Collarme email.

All being well I'll be able to go back to working on the erotic novella I had to put to one side last month! Really want to get that finished!

A hand can offer both kindness and cruelty. The touch can be a gentle caress, or a harsh blow that sends their submissive stumbling to the floor.

It is the mark of a Master to know when it is time for a soft brush against a flushed cheek, or when that same flushed cheek craves a sharp slap.

In the 'vanilla' world you don't normally expect a woman to instantly fall into your bed. So, expecting the D/s equivalent is a bit, well, silly.

Yes, I identify as submissive, as do many men and women. But that doesn't mean submissive to everyone. In my case I'm submissive to a rare few in this world, those who truly do trigger that need, or drive, are an unusual breed.

Think about this in a logical manner. Submission is an emotion, a drive, that you feel normally toward a person. There can also be a drive to find one who sparks that submissive drive. But it is, at the end of the day, an emotional need.

Okay, we've got that part worked out. So, let's bring in a general vanilla need, love. Love may, or may not, be a part of submission, but love is also an emotional drive and/or need accepted in the vanilla 'world'.

You wouldn't, in general terms, come across a situation like this.

Guy walks up to a woman he's never met before. "You're going to have sex with me."

Woman looks at him like he's grown a second head. "No." Meanwhile she may well be thinking something like - what the hell is he on or who does he think he is.

Guy growls, puffs out his chest and says. "Well, you believe in love right. Therefore you love me. So why the f--k won't you have sex with me!"

Woman rolls her eyes. "I don't know you from Adam. Never spoken to you. Never looked at you. What makes you think I love you?"

"Because if you don't you're not a real woman."

Conversation ends with a 1 in three chance of the man being slapped, or having a drink thrown in his face.

Seriously, if you were a guy listening to that conversation odds are you'd either laugh at the situation. Wonder at the balls of the guy. Wonder what planet he's on. Or perhaps be taking notes just in case that actually worked as a line - but still wouldn't seriously believe his logic (unless you were lacking more than a few brain cells).

Yet, if a submissive woman on here states that she's not submissive to dominant xyz in their conversation she's got a better than even chance of being told that she's 'not a real submissive' because she doesn't feel that emotional drive toward said dominant...

Does such hurt me when it's thrown in my direction. No. I'm secure enough in myself that childish comments like that reflect solely on the one lashing out at me. Unfortunately not all who identify as submissive are that secure, or have learned that such isn't the 'norm' with a dominant who is secure, confident, and calm enough to handle having a submissive in their life. So, this entry is aimed more at the submissives who are new to all of this, rather than the childish, foot stomping types, who won't bother reading in the first place.

All being well, I'll be able to get the current erotic short story finished today, as long as I don't hit any stumbling blocks with it.

When someone demands that I address them using a title, to me it says that they are insecure. If I use 'Sir', or 'Ma'am' toward someone in the D/s sense, instead of the vanilla politeness of thanking someone for doing something such as holding open a door, it's because that person has earned a high level of respect from me as a submissive to a dominant. Those people are few and far between.

There are those I've come to respect but I have no submissive feelings toward them, so I don't call them Sir, or Ma'am. Instead we enjoy some very interesting and in-depth conversations that cover many topics, but they are not people I've bottomed to/submitted to in any form.

"Master" or "Mistress" is used only toward one who owns me. 

That isn't going to change. I'm not about to insult myself, or anyone else, by addressing them by a title that becomes meaningless. Now, why would the title become meaningless? Because one used with no meaning, no depth behind it, ceases to have any true meaning. It becomes a hollow word.

It's been a busy couple of days, and I finally find myself in a position where I can take a little time for myself. What I'll do with that time is unknown at this point but hopefully it will include something interesting!

New trick some scam 'fem doms' are using. They're putting a code in their profile so that if you hit view profile, or accidentally click on their profile text box, it forces you to another site, taking you out of collarme. 

sexylilith18 is one user doing this. If you click the report button on her profile you'll see the code for yourself. This is the fifth person I've seen doing this in the past 24 hours.

Finally able to sleep - new mattress and the heat has eased off!

Cruel Dominance

The slap came from nowhere, without warning, or mercy. Hard enough to knock her to the floor. Blood mars her lips, lights dance in front of her vision, brightly colored, uncontrolled, and myriad in number.

She blinked, looking up at him as she lay, half sprawled on the floor. What had she done wrong? He hadn’t said. He hadn’t even hinted at it. She whimpered, trying to figure out what was going on but he didn’t give her the time to fill in the details.

He reached out, tangling his fingers into her hair. The grip tight and cruel as it sent sharp shards of pain spearing across her scalp. She reached out to him, pleading, but it didn’t work. A second slap tore a scream from her lips, her body shaking, helpless in the grasp that kept her half on her knees.

With a low growl he pulled her through the room toward the couch, tossing her forward over the arm. She gasped, struggling, her survival instincts kicking in. She needed to fight, to get away, yet even as she struggled, her body responded. Her nipples hard, tight, pressed against her bra. Her cunt ached, creaming, the need to be filled flared into life.

One hand stayed buried in her hair, holding her forward over the couch, her face pressed to the cushions. The other reached beneath her dress, yanking her panties down. Cloth tore. She cried out. Sobbing. Her thighs pressed tightly together.  Heat rippled through her being. She arched, pressing her hands down against the cushions, lifting her head long enough to cry out.

“Master, please!”

His free hand slapped down three times, in quick succession, against her now naked ass.  Heat and pain mingled across her flesh. Her pussy clenched in time to the slaps, her clit throbbed, inner walls burning with desire.

His zipper parted. The head of his cock pressed between her thighs. A moment only, barely enough to let her know what was going on.

She tensed, her body ready, hungry for his cock. For the feel of his body pressed into hers.

He thrust. No kindness, no mercy, no care. She didn’t matter. Only him, his need, his passion. His cock stretched her inner walls. She moaned, clenching around his thickness. Her slick, wet walls ready for him.

She wanted to move, to please him, but couldn’t. He held her too tightly. She wasn’t able to move. All she could do was take it. Accept it. Accept him.

His balls slammed against her cunt lips. She moaned, whimpering, her body tight. Pressure built within her walls. Slick sounds filled the air. His hand tight, painfully tight, in her hair. Her face pressed against the cushions as he fucked her, used her, filled her, mercilessly taking her with every ounce of strength in his body. She was his. A body to be used, filled, fucked as he wished.

He groaned behind her. Sweat coated her body. His cock thickened. His breath quickened. He didn’t wait. He didn’t touch her. Not even a casual brush of fingers across her clit.

The caring, loving dom was gone. Only power. Control. Pain. Need. She bucked beneath him, close, so very close. God, how she wanted to cum.

With a roar he finished. His seed coating her trembling inner walls.

She whimpered as he pulled out, slapping one hand down against her ass. He didn’t speak, he didn’t wait for her to cum. He simply stepped back, closed his fly and left her there, trembling over the arm of the couch.

“Master?” She whimpered as she looked back over her shoulder.

“Did I give you permission to speak, slut?” The words nothing more than a growl.

She shook her head.

“Then don’t.” He settled down in the chair, and reached for his drink.

Silently she moved to her hands and knees to crawl across the floor. Her heart raced, trembling as she curled at his feet without a word. Her inner thighs still slick from his brutal use of her body as she bit back new whimper. She’d never felt this way before. 

A slave.

Used.

His.

Oh, God, she wanted more…

(I posted this some time ago, several years ago I believe, but I stumbled across this in my files and decided it was worth reposting)

I'm 3000 words into a new novella, with a deadline of early August to have this not only completed but in front of the editor.

Fun...

Thinking of putting up one of my erotica short stories as an audio journal entry. A lot depends on if I have the time and quiet to do so. Have to wait and see how it would work out.

Back to working on the BDSM erotica, I'm about 25% through the story, and if all goes well I'll have the majority of it done by the end of the day.

During the last week, when I was dealing with a family issue that had caused some major stress, I had two people on here try to convert me, both claiming in some way that the issue was due to the fact that I was 'hounded' by demons, or was following an 'evil' path.

My profile states I'm pagan, happily so. And to me trying to use a situation where a person is under stress to then 'convert' them is wrong. I have no problem with people walking a different path, the problem I have is with aggressive conversion tactics. It is, to me, wrong and plain cruel to suggest that just because someone follows a different path then that is the reason for any problems that they then experience.

I've got friends of various religions and we have enough manners not to do the 'you're going to hell' routine, or the 'this is happening because you're -insert religious choice here-'. 

Oh well, not everyone was raised with the same level of manners I guess.

Finally able to work on a new D/s-BDSM story. Depending on how things go I might be able to get this done by the end of the day. I'm aiming at a 4000 word short story that I'll then need to polish and prep to send onto one or two test readers before it's then sent to the editor.

Despite the issues that had threatened to knock me off kilter, I'm now floating ten feet off the ground. I've had some wonderful news, career wise, that has, for now, eclipsed the personal bad news I am still dealing with.

Sadly the details aren't ones I can share at this time, but it's an amazing chance for me as a writer, and one I have no intentions of turning down, or blowing.

My focus is still a little off this morning, but that's nothing that a good hard grip in my hair won't fix.

There's a sense of peace that comes with something as simple as a chain locked around an ankle, or wrist.

A good hard flogging is what's needed to resettle me, or perhaps the cane. An external pain and the release that comes with it to push past the internal turmoil.

I'm blinking myself awake right now, and truly wish that could just curl up, a chain in place, and know that I could let go of the stress for a time. Right now that isn't an option and I will find a way to pull through and then I'll be able to focus.

Stress level has suddenly rocketed due to a family issue that appears to have been caused by my ex, and I find myself threatening to spin out of control. I'm aware there's nothing I can do that will really fix the situation with said family member, yet like many women I want to 'fix' it. 

With luck the issue will pass or settle soon, but I'm not holding out any real hope.

So, I have to try and center myself, and focus past the bad and back on the good in my life. I have to do what is difficult for many women and close the door on the issue once I've sent off the email that I'll have to write later this week. Accept the things I can't change, and hope the family member in question comes to realize that what they're doing will only hurt them in the long run.

It's a hope that I have to find a way to cling to so I can close the door on the turmoil the news has caused.

There's nothing better than the song of the flogger as it travels through the air...

Hope everyone enjoys a wonderful and kinky day.

Editing a new core rule book for an Role-playing game today. Which means I also have the joy of transforming gamer geek speak into English.

Long weekend ahead of me, and that means guests for dinner. Fortunately everything has been planned out.

There are a dozen little things to see to, but they're the sort that I can handle extremely easily, and still get some of my other work done.

The spanking wasn't possible yesterday, a simple matter of time. But that might be possible at sometime during the weekend. If it does happen, great. If not, then I'm adult enough to know that sometimes you have to wait until you can enjoy yourself.

If it all works out I'll be able to enjoy a good spanking tonight.

Drained, it's been a long day.

Spent the day at the King Tut exhibit, which I loved, but I'm paying for it now.

Looks like there are some 'shadow' marks on my back from the belt last night. Not deep enough to be called bruises, but enough that I can see them in the mirror.

By tomorrow morning they'll be gone, sometimes my skin recovers too quickly but nothing I can do about that.

A few years ago I went through a fairly intense flogging that also included the use of a bee stinger, by the end of it my back was a vivid red with some traces of purple. Less than four hours later there wasn't a mark to be seen.

What is a slave?

You see a lot of people stating what is and isn't a slave. The following statements are often part of those statements.

"A slave does not say no to her master."

"A slave will not argue."

"A slave always obeys."

"A slave keeps no secrets from her master."

"A slave must always communicate fully with her master."

"A slave must never complain about her master."

It's all well and good making these statements, and there are at least two in there I actually agree with, but at the end of the day no two Master/slave relationships are the same. The Master, or Mistress, sets the rules that he or she believe work best for their household/situation.

Now, those statements.

"A slave does not say no to her master."

Oh, and if the Master orders the slave to do something that is dangerous, illegal, goes against the slaves set limits? You might say that a good Master would not do that, but you can't always foresee what will or will not happen in a persons life. People change, medication can interact badly with the dominant, or the dominant simply might not have thought the situation through.

"A slave will not argue." Okay, what about debate? I've known dominants who not only enjoy a good debate (which might appear to be an argument to an outsider), but actually encourage this at times when it pleases them.

"A slave always obeys." This is also covered by the first statement. There might also be times when a slave can't obey for whatever reason ie being in the middle of a store when the Master gives an order by - for instance - phone.

"A slave keeps no secrets from her Master." As a general rule of thumb I actually agree with this one, but again there are exceptions. Keeping no secrets makes it really hard to organize a surprise birthday party, or pick up a gift. Keeping 'good' secrets shouldn't be a problem, but again that has to be discussed with the Master before the collar is even accepted. Are good secrets allowed?

"A slave must always communicate fully with her Master" and "A slave must not complain about her master" are actually interlinked. If a Master asks what's wrong, by this rule she must say what it is, and if the problem is something he's done, then that's complaining about him, isn't it?

Now I do believe that a slave must always communicate fully with her Master, and that does mean saying when something is wrong, even if the cause of it is her Master. Better to get that out in the open so it can be dealt with and not cause further problems.

At the end of the day it boils down to this.

What one Master wants as part of the rules for the relationship, another sees as foolish, or even pointless. Rules are down to the Master, but the slave accepts or rejects them before the collar goes on. This is why discussion is vital between them prior to the collar being placed on anyone's neck.

And it is that collar, that Master saying she is his slave, that makes her a slave. Not someone elses rules.

My backside is still warm from the spanking last night, and the touch of the belt added to the delight of it all.

A scene needed and certainly enjoyed!

Yes, there are occasions when I top others, perhaps at an event, or something that's been planned. It's not a spur of the moment thing, and it's never online.

I've topped men, on very rare occasions, but mostly it's been women I've topped.

This doesn't make me a dominant, it makes me someone who can enter the mindset required to top  or dominate another for a short time. 

I've no desire to become a Mistress, as I'm quite content being a slave.

I'm hoping that, in the near future, I'll be able to find the time to enjoy the feel of a flogger slapping against my back.

Title vs Name

One of the first things I was taught about the lifestyle, was this.

An experienced dominant will introduce himself by his or her name, not a title. That dominant might be 'sir', 'lord', or 'master' with his or her submissives, but not with someone who hasn't submitted to him. And an experienced dominant accepts that just because they are dominant to their submissives, they are not automatically dominant to everyone else around them.

Those who demand that titles should be used from day one are, to me, lacking in confidence. They need to 'yell' their 'dominance' to the world.

Take a step back and think for a moment. In the vanilla world those who yell the loudest about their accomplishments, how good they are in bed, how much money they earn, how they're better than everyone else, are often the most insecure of people, or turn out to be bullies of one form or another.

Take this a step further - go to a munch or two and look at how the experienced dominants who are secure in themselves act. They're often fairly quiet individuals. They speak calmly, they'll listen to other people's point of views, they're not afraid or ashamed to admit that they might on occasions be wrong, or that they don't know it all. They will voice their opinion but not in the ram it down everyone's throat manner.

To me it's a huge red flag when someone get's upset because I won't call them SirLordMaster of the Universe. Perhaps it should also be one to you...

Copyright vs. Privacy

By now you'll have seen the following useless warning on some profiles -

**WARNING: Any institutions or individuals using this site or any of its associated sites for studies or projects - You DO NOT have permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current and future. If you have or do, it will be considered a violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications. It is recommended that other members post a similar notice to this or you may copy and paste this one.**

It's not a violation of a person's privacy to use someone's profile, pictures, or posts. There are no legal ramifications that can be brought down on someone based on a violation of privacy for using said profile, pictures, or posts from this site. Why, because they aren't private, they've been posted on a public site! They're no more private than posting them on facebook or myspace. You can claim to your hearts content that your privacy has been violated, but you'll get no where trying to sue someone based on that in this issue.

However, using someone's pictures, posts, profile, etc, without permission is a violation of copyright. If you're going to threaten some unknown person with legal ramifications, then please actually take the time to learn what laws would be broken by someone lifting your image/posts/profile.

A little drained and a little on the sore side right now, but all being well this will pass soon. Just one of those days!

Day started off badly, found out my camera was dead. Which meant I had to go shopping and pick up a new one.

Good news is it's a nice camera, bad news it's one I've now got to get used to. Blah.

Plan was to go fishing at one of the local lakes today, but the clouds have opened  and the wind has picked up.

Oh well, there'll be other days.

Seduction

It is a word that many use, but not all grasp the meaning of. It is the art of tempting, to persuade, or induce another to sexual intercourse. To win over, attract, or lure.

Seems simple enough, doesn't it?

Yet, unless you know the person, their desires and reactions, how can you seduce that person?

Where one person might find the idea of a stranger touching them sexually, another might respond with a fight or even flight reaction. Where one might like the thought of a morning beard scratching the back of their next, another might wince and know that in their case such would result in skin being removed from their body.

You often see the phrase 'seduce the mind and the body will follow', yet how many grasp what that means? It's not about sending sexual messages, but getting to know that person, their thoughts, dreams, and desires and not just the sexual ones.

No two people are exactly the same, we all have our own soft spots and danger zones. Presuming that we're all the same, that each man and woman are identical, is a failing all too common both in real life, and the net.

Patience

Remember that old saying about patience being a virtue? Well, it applies to doms, subs, slaves, switches, masters, and mistresses. It's something that, if you're serious about this as a lifestyle instead of wham, bam, thank you ma'am, has to be cultivated.

As a submissive or slave if you lack patience how can you expect to wait at the feet of the one you eventually serve? How can you form a proper reply to a question if you refuse to take a moment to think before speaking? Or even take a breath to bring any knee jerk reaction under control? These things require patience, and the lack of that skill may well lose you the chance of the collar you want before you've ever really had the chance to realize it was within your grasp.

Patience is required as a dominant as well and I know there are quite a few out there who will think I'm full of it for daring to suggest such a thing.

If you lack patience, as a dominant, when getting to know a potential submissive, then how can that submissive trust that you've had the patience to learn the other skills you may claim to have?

You see signs of lack of patience every day on sites like CM. Cutting corners, demanding IM's, phone numbers, private email addresses, all within the first day of conversation is, to me, a sign of impatience. And that applies to both doms and subs, as both are guilty of pulling such stunts.

It's the same with sending a chat request without asking if that person is actually in a position to enter CM's chat. A little patience and a simple question before sending the request speaks highly of the person, it shows they've thought potential possibilities through, but the hitting of request button without those actions speaks poorly of them.

"I'm not here to waste time" is a common excuse for a lack of patience.

Nice, okay, so you want to take the meat market approach - hit a singles bar at closing time. That's fine, but you'll miss the very type of person you claim you want in your life.

Take a breath, step back, think and then act. Show the ability to be patient and perhaps the world will show you something else in return.

I've got to get some work done on a new story at some point today. It's been running through my mind for some time, and I can 'see' the opening scene in my head. The way the heroine is bound, the sound of the flogger moving through the hair before it cracks against her body.

I just need to find the time to actually do it!

Another muggy day, and we're due nearly a week of thunderstorms, mugginess, and miserable weather.

Oh well, thankfully there's the AC!

Drained, and it caught up with me without warning today. I ended up all but collapsing for an hour or so this evening. I didn't realize just how much the stress had taken out of me in the last week or so.

New computer, which should make work a lot easier!

Well, that's the plan, and I just need to get a hang of some of the newer toys on the computer.

And the 'kiddies' are on the site again.

A little message to the latest one who is so 'mature' he blocked me because I pulled him up on using slang that has multiple meanings, yet was complaining he wants to move into real life instead of just dreaming about this lifestyle. (Yet he has no patience, and zero communication skills.)

If you wish to be a dominant 'Idominatesweet', then first learn to be an adult. Read your messages before sending them, and don't act like a three year old throwing a temper tantrum when someone points out that your message has multiple meanings OR they ask if you've actually bothered to read their profile!

Yes, I know, people like that are too childish to bother reading in the first place.

It's been muggy today, which tends to slow things down for me. Still, it will pass, and there's a decent breeze coming in right now.

Once the latest set of thunderstorms pass through I might actually be able to sleep! Yes, I know, it's part of summer in Minnesota. You'd think I'd be used to it by now - but no, I still can't stand the muggy weather.

Ordering me to hand out my phone number isn't the sign of a dominant.

Unless I've submitted to you, any orders are nothing more than bluster, arrogance, and assumption.

Slowly getting back on track, though it's not as easy as I thought it would be. My focus is still off and without the active dominance it's harder to focus.

But things will settle soon, at least I hope it will.

The stress is easing a little more each day, thankfully. It's going to be sometime, however, before I can enjoy the release of the cane, or flogger, but I'm looking forward to that time.

There's a sense of peace that comes with such, at least for me. And it's a peace that is needed.

Didn't sleep well last night at all, but all being well I'll sleep better tonight.

It's been a long couple of days, and I'm hoping that the stress will finally ease.

I'm rapidly reaching the point where I want to curl up, to feel that hand in my hair, and know I can let it all go.

Yes, I have a single IM I use on my computer. No, I'm not going to give that contact information to someone I neither know, nor trust.

If a person can't be bothered to get to know me on CM email, why would I ever trust them with a direct means of contacting me?

Stress level just jumped through the roof here, so I'm doing my best to stay leveled and focused. Not exactly easy and I'll crash when I have the chance.

Rough night last night, which has also turned that nagging need for a hand in my hair, into a storm roaring through my mind.

Just need to keep it under control, locked down, for a time.

There are days when the need for a hard grip tightening in my hair is something I can ignore. Then there are days it pushing at me, nagging at the back of my mind, until I'm ready to explode.

Sleep was a little broken last night, but I'm up and mostly with it now. Coffee, work, and I should be able to focus shortly. Or that's the plan!

I've got a new erotica piece I really need to find the time to work on. Perhaps once this set of editing is over and done with I'll be able to open that file.

The heat of the past two days has certainly left me drained. So, I'm hoping for a good night's sleep, as I need one in order to be able to face the rest of the week's worth of work.

Starting to warm up again here, hit mid mid 90s yesterday, and it's creeping up now. Fun...not.

Oh well, just means I stay inside and work!

So, I'm a workaholic, nothing new there.

Well, the chaos has held off for a while. Which means I've been able to plow my way through one set of work. I might actually be able to work on some personal projects today!

Okay, I'm not holding my breath on that one, but you never know!

Lovely morning so far, and I've got my coffee on. So, I might actually get a little work done before chaos commences.

Little tired after the BBQ, but enjoyed it.

Editing to complete in the next week, and a couple of writing projects to catch up on, or that's the plan at present.

Have to attend a BBQ tomorrow. Part work related, part social. So, although I'm looking forward to it, I'm also aware that I'm going to be drained by the end of tomorrow.

Dear Body,

when I was younger, in my early twenties even, I could happily exist on five hours sleep. However, as I've grown older I've discovered that five hours sleep simply doesn't cut it anymore.

Do us both a favor, and take note of this detail...

muse

Looks like I've got a day trip planned to the cities at the end of the month. Not for kinky reasons, but educational. The King Tut exhibit is at the science museum, and it's something I've always wanted to see.

Work has meant that I've had very little time to even check Collarme of late, but it's eased up. Quarterly reports have been compiled and sent out, and I'm up to date on projects!

Or at least I am for now. That might well change by the time I check my work email again...

Sheesh, they're out in force today.

I do not cyber - why would I, it's boring, pointless, and I write erotica for a living. Sorry but engaging in 'I fuk u gud' isn't erotic to me.

I do not engage in cam sex. I'm not a swinger/player/here to provide free entertainment for those seeking a cheap thrill.

My profile is accurate. I don't hand out my skype to people I don't know. I don't use Y except as dire emergencies for work on my phone. I don't use CM chat's because it truly does cause issues on my computer.

The thing about lies is sooner or later they trip a person up. Statements that make no sense, pieces of the puzzle that don't work, and then those small pieces add up until you sit there, shaking your head, knowing that there's no way the person is telling the truth.

And it's back to the grindstone. I don't mind, seriously. I love my work and because of that I'm a workaholic.

Had a wonderful day, several bottles of wine and a good shot of 12 year old malt.

Someone forgot to tell the weather that it's May. As as result we have snow on the ground and more blowing around.

I'm oddly relaxed today, despite the fact that work is pressing down on me, and the wind is now howling.

I have an manuscript to edit for one of my authors, which could take quite a while to finish. I know the author very well, so I'm used to explaining what needs to be tweaked.

Once that one is back with the author I might actually get the chance to finish up the erotic romance shape shifter story I've been working on.

And this time it was a so called fem dom contacting me to order me around.

She has a scathing reply in her in box, but I doubt she has the intelligence to even read it.

Amazing...there really are those who can't read.

No, I won't immediately hand you my skype ID.

No, I won't try to use CM's flaky chat - it always crashes on my computer.

No, I won't immediately hand out my personal email.

Common sense - I don't juggle multiple emails, those I use are connected with my work. As is my skype. Of course I'm not going to give someone I don't know access to that information.

I find it truly amazing that some 'doms' really expect the words in my profile to not apply to them.

Even if CM chat did work well on my computer, I'd still not jump into a chat with someone here, without so much as a polite email exchange first. Years back, when I was in the html chat rooms, I didn't go into PM with someone I didn't know. I didn't hand them my IM information, nor did I give them my email. In fact it was taught to newcomers to the sites that you opened yourself up to possible problems if you weren't careful online.

Somehow that has been forgotten by these so called 'experienced doms'.

Just food for thought...

Another long week over and done with, whilst the next looms on the horizon.