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sheilahsay

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Friends:
PaulaFrostSTEFFYrubberdollmasstkruRachealcdsdBDcouple
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Kinks
Nipple stimulation, impact play, waist training, corsets, bondage, cock worship, oral service, video/photograph sessions and other kinks.

Seeks
Male dominant who is/can be - prefer nonsmoker, practice good hygiene, drama free, no baggage. spontaneous, patience, creative some experience in D/s, disciplinarian, believes in safe-sane consensual sex, encourages, uninhibited and has a safe environment.

Limitations
Yes, I do have Limits.

Blood, knives, needles, catheters, urethral sounding, breath control, fire play, scat, restricting of the air way, intercourse with no condom, branding, defilement, fisting, bondage so tight or restrictive it cuts the flow of blood and/or air, over the top cruelty, toilet training, glass insertion into orifices, sounding, cages, penis plugs, food used as sex toys, cruelty to animals and others, inflicting pain on others, mummification, WS, forced intercourse, forced oral, bestiality, and minors.

How 'bout this; if I do not like it you’ll know.

Little About Me
Single, 5'7", retired, Non-op TS, small 36A cup breasts, natural blonde, nonsmoker, occasional shot of JD before bed, good listener, drama free and open to new experiences. I am 100% submissive bottom and have no interest in being a switch or dominant.

CANNOT HOST



Other Info
Curious About - Obedience training, hypnosis, chastity, orgasm denial, edging, sissification, role play, and TPE.

Pros - Detailed oriented, analytical, tactful, constant learner, adaptive to change and patient.

Cons - Perfectionist, observant, skeptical, indifferent, and tend to over analyze.

Also - Speak my mind; but know when to keep my mouth shut.

Not into; drama, excess baggage, rudeness, superior/smug attitude, judgmental attitude, complications, vindictiveness, animosity, jealousy, recklessness, a know-it-all-attitude, pushy, liars, unstable, inconsiderate, untrustworthy, psychotic, schizoid, sociopathic, lack of/or no imagination, antisocial and narcissistic people.

Does it seem like a lot. Ask yourself; would you want to be around these people.

http://www.compatible-astrology.com/virgo-woman.html

In closing; I am up to date in all my covid-19 shots and boosters. With both m pox shots.

Updated: 10.27.2022

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12/19/2022 7:09:22 PM

Either Or 

Half of me is just part of me,
A part in a whole 'nother side.

Two halves' making one of me,
Each better when their joined.

It may sound a bit to farcical,

Even just a little out of place.
Having two sides is my story,
The halves are my whole life.

You on the other side of life,

Have a whole different story.
Not having parts of a whole,
Simply the whole sum is yours.

If a whole sum has no halves,

How do two halves make a whole.
With a whole sum and no halves,
A whole serves a never-ending goal.

If both halves equal your whole,

Or the whole sum has no halves.
Don't be concerned about that,
There are two sides to every story.

Sheilah Say

 

10/25/2022 11:03:48 PM

Big Lie

In the darkness of daylight,
Nothing seen when so bright.
The bleakness and all its fate,
Has stared us right in the face.


Without any sleight of hand,
Still, we cannot understand.
For the reasoning as to why,
To a continuation of a big lie.


Every day they take their bow,
To one whom they all kowtow.
Then the party’s radicalization,
By a defeated administration.


All who follow are being diluted,
They all believe they're included.
Only they are really fodder for use,
Then tossed out as so much refuse.

Sheilah Say

 

3/1/2022 8:44:14 PM

Requiem For A World



There isn’t a song for this planet,
Living breathing world of granite.
Look to its future can’t you see,
Poisoning dying slow by degree.

This passion to heal without a desire,
Bringing only muck, ruin and mire.
The worlds night light with oil fires,
Not to fear say the corporate liars.

Air smelling more foul not pleasant,
Earths people just pray to their God.
What’s the solution to this our plight,
Will it end with not an end in sight.

We opted for flight instead of fight,
Deaths door roams with it a blight.
Soon the fires slowly turn to pyres,
And living on a world that’s dying.

The requiem starts soon take a seat,
Not only a mass for the masses dead.
Requiem Mass for a planet set dying,
A Mass is for only dying or deceased.

This Mass of the Dead already arrived.

By Sheilah Say

 

3/1/2022 8:38:48 PM

May This Be Love
written by: Jimi Hendrix
Waterfall, nothing can harm me at all,
My worries seem so very small
With my waterfall.

I can see my rainbow calling me
Through the misty breeze
Of my waterfall.

Some people say day-dreaming's
For all the, huh, lazy minded fools
With nothing else to do.

So let them laugh, laugh at me,
So just as long as I have you
To see me through,
I have nothing to lose 'long as I have you.

Waterfall, don't ever change your ways.
Fall with me for a million days,
Oh, my waterfall.


3/1/2022 8:37:35 PM

The Truth

In 1980 I was working with a Guatemalan immigrant (yes he was
legally here) who asked me, "How can I learn and understand English to better assimilate myself and family?"
My reply was to stop watching, listening and reading Spanish television, radio and newspapers. And to watch, listen and start reading English television, radio and newspapers.
Also adding, “And don’t believe everything you see on TV, hear on the radio or read in the newspapers”.
"Why" he asked?
I answered him by saying, "There are some people that will either not tell you the whole truth". "Or twist that truth for their own reasons".
Naturally the next question was, "how do I know who says the truth and who doesn't?"
This was my answer, "That can only be determined by you."
“No one can tell you what the truth is”.


What is the truth?

That depends on the individual. Each of us see’s and knows the truth in hers or his own way and knows that theirs is the true truth. And it doesn’t matter whether or not if it is the truth.
Or is the truth what we make it to be because that is what we want it to be.
The truth is simply this, the truth.
It can be ignored, considered a lie, thought of as the alternate truth, unbelievable, mixed in with false truth or not even known. Plus, an infinite number of other reasons.
But it still remains the truth.
However, or where ever you get your truth from, don’t believe a single word of it. Not before you’ve had a chance to make sure it is the truth.
And that is the easiest part right at the fingertips.
Of course, you could believe your truth.
The truth as told by someone else.
Or you can simply believe the true truth.
But, always remember this.
The real truth can be hard to believe that it is true.
And a lie, being either simple or close to a common belief, can be perceived as a truth.
It is up to you as an individual to discern who lies, who twist the truth for their purposes and who speaks the truth.


I wrote the following in 2012. I do not know if it was posted here. But I have posted it on other sites.
It is supposed to serve as a reminder.

Upon a Whisper
What was it that did such a deed?
It had help from a whispered breeze.
No one could plant all the evil seeds, 
Only they with eyes which do not see.
So be on guard of wry and take heed,
Be not fooled to a whispered breeze.

This is all I have to say on this subject.

Sheilah Say
Updated - March 1, 2022

 

2/28/2022 12:58:59 PM

The Egyptian and The Glue

So, I helped myself to a little bit of glue
To pass the time so I should not stew
Only in the flicker of dusks finally light
Seen to me a holy man giving last rites
Many there are silent and subdued
Waited for this holy man to conclude

I however had a little more glue

In the window shown a full moon bright
From it seen much ruin and a terrible sight
Beyond the ruin stood a battered knight
Holding a stone tablet inscribed with runes
Telling of many future misfortunes
Knowing of this I did not know

I just lay on the floor with my glue

I heard a tap-tappin' on the door
As I lay here sprawled on this floor
The door slowly creaked open
There before me stood an Egyptian
In my fatuity I said, a librarian
No, the Egyptian replied, disciplinarian

Trying to take another run at the glue

My Egyptian disciplinarian friend
Bent down took the glue and said
Of this is not for you, I reprehend
This I could not comprehend
Laying there I could only pretend
While my Egyptian disciplinarian friend

With glue to face walked through my door

Sheilah Say 08.08.2021


2/28/2022 12:55:52 PM

Into the Mirror

Mirror, mirror on the wall,
What shall become of us,
When our nation falls?
We are stronger together
Then when we are apart.
So please tell me mirror
How hard will be the fall?

Into the mirror we can all look
But stare without any outlook.

We can stand as one
And as one for all
Or split each of us apart
As many have no change of heart.
All have their own passion
But who leads all the factions?
And what will come to pass
As the brass startd to hit grass?

Sheilah Say

 

 


2/10/2018 12:12:00 AM
Revised Theory Of People One Does Not Know and Supportive Postulation's

Theory Of People One Does Not Know

Is the theory out of all people one doesn’t know, whether in that person’s life or not. Takes the general knowledge each person is an unknown. And persons unknown have knowledge of information of unknowns too them. It does not take into account with previously unknowns that became known.
Then, through no fault of either party, slipped back to unknown in all parties memories. Thereby rendering knowledge of even "familiarity" "un-recallable". Additionally the theory hypothesizes each unknown has knowledge unknowns are diverse. Each of those unknowns has knowledge of information of unknown to them. Knowing that all knowledge of information has a trickle effect to every unknown. (The theory does not acknowledge trickle effect on known persons).
An Important hypothesize to this theory is the unknown to known then back too "previously unknown". With cause and effect to the "familiarity of recall" and "knowledge of information". The previously known to unknown has again been known. Which allows each "again past known" experience to be previously unknown.

Slip back to unknown status may have a cause and effect probability. This effect will cause "theory instability" in some previously unknowns. The affected instability of the familiarity and then un-recallable could also be effected. Splitting each into separate spheres and creating opposites and postulates the cause of theory instability.

A "wildcard factor" may prevent instability within the theory. As with all unknown to known and back too previously unknown. This wild card accounts for all known knowledge of each unknown to known. Along with the knowledge (or lack thereof) back to previously unknown. This cancels cause and affects instability in familiarity and recall. Thus altering theory instability outcomes completely too all known knowledge of unknown into known knowledge.

Supportive to Theory of People One Does Not Know.
Is;
A known can have knowledge of a specific unknown but still be an unknown. This is referred to as the "dynamic association of specific unknown(s)" or "D.A.S.U.". Additional to dynamic association of specific unknown(s) is the specific known knowledge of a specific unknown. Allowing for an unknown, not specific to D.A.S.U. To be base known knowledge while still remaining unknown to the known.

Dynamic Association of Specific Unknown(s)
Supportive to:
Theory of People One Does Not Know.
Is a; known can have knowledge of a specific unknown but still be an unknown. This is referred to as the Dynamic Association of Specific Unknown(s) (D.A.S.U.).
In addition to the Dynamic Association of Specific Unknown(s).
Is; Specific Known Knowledge of a Specific Unknown. (S.K.O.S.U.).
It allows for the unknown, which is not specific to D.A.S.U., to be a base known knowledge while still remaining unknown to a known.

Specific Known Knowledge Of a Specific Unknown Or, S.K.O.S.U.
Supportive to:
Dynamic Association of Specific Unknown(s) (D.A.S.U.).
This allows for an unknown that is not specific to D.A.S.U. to be a base known knowledge but still remain unknown to a known.
This is considered, but not yet proven, to be the cause of theory instability. It has also been postulated as the wild card factor that prevents theory instability. This too also has yet to be proven.

Yet another born in the mind of Sheilah Say



2/7/2018 10:04:08 PM

The Lie or a Lie

 

A lie is defined as, a false statement made with deliberate intent to deceive.


Or a lie can be a truth. As in: If you repeat a lie often enough, people will believe it, and you will come to believe it yourself.


A lie can also be much more believable than a truth. Why have the truth get in the way when a lie can be much easier.


And when the lie coincides with what a person or a group of people knows to be true and supports it. Then the lie is welcomed with open arms by the people.

That lie is called propaganda.


Propaganda has been used throughout human history mostly in religion and especially politics. And in the 20th century propaganda was used more often, than in any other century, to sell a lie to the masses.

The ease in which information was disseminating to the masses came in the form of radio, newspapers, and movies. Than after 1950 television was also used.


Now we are in the 21st century and the masses are subject to a new way of disseminating information, the internet.


The internet with cooperation from social media, either knowingly or unknowingly, has propagated misinformation.

And politics is the one arena where misinformation is used and praised.

Unscrupulous politicians with or without help from government agencies make use of the internet to mislead, corrupt and divide the people.


You can believe what you want to believe. From whatever source the information comes from. But even if you believe your source unless it is verified as true than it is a lie or at best misinformation.



I do not support, condone or recommend anything said or done by Joseph Goebbels.


“That propaganda is good which leads to success, and that is bad which fails to achieve the desired result. It is not propaganda’s task to be intelligent; its task is to lead to success”. Joseph Goebbels



Propaganda is also known by another name, public relations.



This is all I have to say on this subject.


Sheilah Say

February 7, 2018


9/2/2016 1:09:45 AM
OMG I almost forgot.

My bike, a '99 XL1200C Sportster, has been sitting idle since the beginning of summer.
Why?
Coming back from a ride there was this loud knocking noise coming from the top of the engine.
Well on August 27, 2016 I had it towed to Performance Choppers in El Cajon to get diagnosed. I told 'em there was no rush because I knew it was going to cost a lot to repair. (Having already called my mechanic describing the noise. He suggested to call a Harley dealer and ask the book-time to redo the bottom end. It was 12 hours at $99/hour or $1188. Not including parts).
But on Friday when Performance Choppers called said they could not find what I'd described.
So you know I was a happy camper. Missing all the great riding weather. Now I could go riding and did. 

6/22/2016 10:41:57 PM

A Short Story Of Sorts

Tear drops fall from the eyes. As a wild thought crosses her mind. Strange how it is she feels this way. Not really knowing what has happened.

When she arrived home and fell onto the bed wild confusion swirled in her mind. Than the eyes began to well. Thought after thought with chaos reigned. Now the tears flow more rapidly then before. Into early evening and finishing that night. She falls into a restless sleep having cried herself there.

An image comes to her as she dreams. It is in the form of her crying earlier. Here she tries to hold the tears back with a trembling hand across her lips.

Than speaking a single word in a voice strained but soft.

"Please"? But her only reply is silence. In a pleading cry adds. "Come back to me I need you so". "Please".

Her face is wet streaked with tears. Even here the confusion and chaos reigns.

She startles herself from this restless sleep. Her body is cold, her clothes are wet.

She doesn't understand why she’s this way. Only what she see’s in her face. The one who said would not leave her has made her this way.

All she can do is go back to sleep. Only too dream again.

Sheilah Say


5/14/2016 1:06:42 AM
Words Of Beauty
The most Beautiful words
Someone can say:
Let's grow together
and always be in love
04.28.2016

12/15/2015 9:49:38 PM

Submission A Gift That Gives 
(A Gift of Submission)
Submission is a unique gift to serving a Master. The wonder of such a gift and how it can enrich two lives. One gives completely without hesitation, boundaries or fear. Submission is not the only gift. One cannot submit to another and not serve. Or serve and not submit. One must give the mind, body heart and soul to a Master. To preserver in all endeavors for one purpose the please in pleasure. All attentions are for him. A smile from his lips is a smile for the heart. Even without a smile or a word does not diminish what the heart loves. A committed desire for all enjoyment. An orgasm for him is a submissives orgasm as well. Submissive acts can be insulation from a stress laden day. It is not chores, domestic duties nor labor or labors of love. Rather it is a love in life itself. An all encompassing love for life in serving will bring out all the best in Master and submissive. Always a submissive thinks of his needs even when alone. Anticipating the smallest nuance in a hand or body gesture requires attention in mental discernment. So time together flows consistently smoothly but not without spontaneity. Removing the redundancy from each experience insures a fresh new experience and not a laborious drudge for him or submissive.
Knowledge also comes along in the gift of submission. A unique experience throughout life learning not just from life but those whose associations comes into contact with. And knowledge learned in past verbally from strangers experiences or from another stranger is experience learned. All this knowledge all these learned experiences is what makes a good submissive. The list is near endless because it comes from life and the people who make up life. Or controlled life. All have given a wealth in experience and knowledge to use in day-to-day life and for him.
Submission does not necessarily define the individual. It is a majority of each individual’s ch'i defining submission as passion. Passion so loved it would define the submissive but not consume. To be consumed by one's passion is as a fire consumes as it burns. When there is nothing left to consume the fire goes out. What remains is burnt out. Before this happens all accumulated knowledge and experience is served up in variety and spontaneity.

In submitting too submission brings two people closer together and enriches life.

An end of sight means an end to life.

Sheilah Say

11/25/2015 1:22:32 AM

Upon Us Again, The Holidays Are Dead

Here come ‘dem holidays again. Making Sam and Ben happy when you spend. First comes the big feast. Over stuffed beast shoved passed your teeth. When it’s over sit with a drink. Plop down feet and legs are off the ground. Listening to a beat from out  of a box. There it be in between the feet. Now you’re wishing for a box seat?

The ‘morrow comes the Friday of black. All sellers are glad the buyers with fear. People shop here, people shop there, and all  shop everywhere. So much traffic just goes ‘round and ‘round. Ol’ Ben though now wears a happy gold crown. Te madness goes on for more than three weeks. Makes a head spin until it all peaks. And all is so clean with nature’s commercial gleam.

Mothers and fathers with daughters and sons the day which comes mostly for little ones. Soon the day is here with a credo supposedly for all. You know the one the better to give to that of receiving at all. Only in the end everyone and all receive  gives from their all. While the little ones scamper to and fro’ from a tree trimmed to glean. (Origins of which are known to us all). Opening the little givings of their tidings and joy.

Next comes the basking in all happiness and joy we create. Of we know what a gift brings for all.

Scrambling to unwrap their scribbled on names. Next comes the cleanup than followed by a the feast and soon more games. It’s equaled too that of the one before shopping’s black day. Then getting up all walk to the screening hall. Satisfied knowing each had their fill. They take a seat and kick it for awhile. Before tuning a box from between those feet. When the day has gone the night falls without a sound. All head to a room to sleep snuggled and warm within a bed. Drifting to sleep now sweet bliss of dreams. Sleighs and bells with sparkling dancing fire light. Looking forward the another year ahead.

So nothing has been forgotten with presents and donations that help the hand-outs. Oh least we forgot the One the day is for. And go to church so He can see you show your piousness in a birth He asked not be celebrated. A hypocritical show of religious sanctimonious devotion. Now you feel right with this world.
Oh wait! Something has been been forgotten. Not a something which is ease to placate but a someone. Those the ones, you know, you’d like to and always forget. Them on the streets who  ask for money and receive dead-beat chides. They walk their beat only seeking to eat. An unwrapped gift perhaps from a shelter. Or outta the trash can in back of an eatery. Some where’s near you or gone too before. For them a new year dawning never comes. They are forgotten shuffled and shuttered away. No time for gifts that keep on giving only the day to day daily. Perhaps tomorrow they will find something that can be eaten.

So now, isn’t giving a wonderful and fulfilling thing? Would you rather read more of from ones with holes on the knees asleep under trees or in our streets.

Them that have that just receive and don’t give. Do what those of their ilk always do. There in the gutter and without a clue sweep them aside instead of do. Out of their minds but still nor out of sight. Then the haves go through another new year as blissful and no care. It isn’t there place others can take care of this and they also have free flops they say.

There is no moral or happiness for the people on our city streets. They’re not going away or become invisible like you’d want an annoying someone in a backseat. Only thing that will happen come this time next year. More people will be shuffling around the haves with more anxiety and fear.

Each year their numbers have swelled. So the big ask is the same, “what shall we do”. We can only hide the head in the sand but no one stands up to lead a whole new band.

The gift for another is happiness and starts from our hands.

Have a great feast and don’t forget the feet.

10/13/2015 7:53:53 PM
My Absence
Been lagging in posting anything because August 22, 2015 my bike went out from under me on the I-405 north. My left humerus was broken in 3 places near the area where it joins the shoulder. The doctor who did the surgery said the breaks were clean breaks. It meant healing should go well. (So far it has). So it would mend a plate and 10 screws were a fixed too the bone. 4 screws at the bottom of the plate and 6 at the top.

8/8/2015 8:37:14 PM

Theory Of People One Does Not Know


Is the theory out of all people one doesn’t know, whether in that person’s life or not.  Takes the general knowledge each person is an unknown.  And persons unknown have knowledge of information of unknowns too them.  It does not take into account with previously unknowns that became known.  Then, through no fault of either party, slipped back to unknown in all parties memories.  Thereby rendering knowledge of even ‟familiarity” ‟un-recallable”.  

Additionally the theory hypothesizes each unknown has knowledge unknowns are all around.  That each of those unknowns have knowledge of information of unknown to them.  Knowing that all knowledge of information has a trickle effect to every unknown. 

(The theory does not acknowledge trickle effect on known persons). 

Important hypothesize to this theory is the unknown to known then back too ‟previously unknown”.  With cause and effect to the ‟familiarity of recall” and ‟knowledge of information”.  The previously known to unknown has again been known.  Which takes to account each ‟again been known” experience on previously unknown. 

Although the ‟slipped back to unknown” status can be effected.  The effect will cause ‟theory instability”.  The affected instability of the familiarity and then un-recallable.  Each split into separate spheres to create opposites.  Which is the cause of theory instability. 

Though a ‟wildcard factor” prevents instability within this theory.  As with all unknown to known and back too previously unknown.  This theory accounts for all known knowledge of each unknown to known.  Along with the knowledge (or lack thereof) back to previously unknown.  Which cancels affected instability in familiarity and recall.  Altering theory instability outcomes completely to all known knowledge of unknown to known. 

Supportive to Theory of People One Does Not Know.  A known can have knowledge of a specific unknown but still be an unknown.  This is referred to as the ‟dynamic association of specific unknown(s)” or ‟D.A.S.U.”.  Additional to dynamic association of specific unknown(s) is the specific known knowledge of a specific unknown.  Allowing for an unknown, not specific to D.A.S.U.  To be base known knowledge while still remaining unknown to the known.

 

Born in the mind of Sheilah Say

5/19/2015 3:55:13 PM

Every Little Bit

Every little bit comes out in all of us. Some try to hide it or stash it away. Some cover it over with a gloss of something else. But it doesn't stay hidden for long. It always comes back because you cannot hide the truth. No matter how hard you try.

Sheilah Say

7/2/2014 6:20:15 PM
What To Do

Don’t know who I am
Don’t know what to be
Hung up on sub thing
Have an idea for me

Don’t know what to do
Don’t know where to go
Help me to find myself
Give me something new

Help me grow with you

5/13/2014 11:39:40 PM

Cross the North Korean border illegally you get 12 years hard labor.  If you cross the Iranian border illegally you are detained indefinitely.  If you cross the Afghan border illegally, you get shot.  If you cross the Saudi Arabian border illegally you will be jailed.  If you cross the Chinese border illegally you may never be heard from again.  If you cross the Venezuelan border illegally you will be branded a spy and your fate will be sealed.  If you cross the Mexican border illegally you will be jailed for two years.  If you cross the Cuban border illegally you will be thrown into political prison to rot.  If you cross the United States border illegally you get:
1 - A job
2 - A driver's license
3 - A Social Security card
4 - Welfare
5 - Food stamps
6 - Credit cards
7 - Subsidized rent or a loan to buy a house
8 - Free education
9 - Free health care
10 - A lobbyist in Washington
11 - Billions of dollars in public documents printed in your language
12 - Millions of servicemen and women who are willing to – and do – die for your right to the ways and means of our constitution
13 - And the right to carry the flag of your country - the one you walked out on – while you call America racist and protest that you don't get enough respect.
IF YOU AGREE, COPY AND RE-POST THIS!


4/29/2014 2:35:46 PM


Finally got out this past Friday.  Went to a party at a friends dungeon.  It was in Long Beach so I rode my bike.  Not a bad ride to and from.  It was great and I received a wonderful spanking.  [yes photos were taken]


4/18/2014 11:17:18 PM

Some writing must be done from time to time. So as not to let the brain go stale. Ranting may be done. Along with life's little quirks being vented.

What one should not see is a depressed want-to-be wallowing in self-pity with a narcissistic personality.

Then again. It tasks all kinds to spin the world.


As the world turns.


12/23/2013 11:47:42 AM

"Judgment of others is not mandatory"


7/25/2013 12:11:09 AM

READ ME:  There are few people here that I know.  Those I do did not fall in love with me.  Just from looking at my posted photos, here and elsewhere, have fallen in love with me.  They write, message or say it and expect me to reciprocate this love.  My answer, "no".  Always their reply, "if you're not returning the love.  Then this conversation ends or why not".   Mostly they just hang up. 

My parameters for being in love with another are.  First must get to know each other.  Secondly, meet face to face. This last one I can't stress enough.  Lastly are we compatible. 

Sheilah Say


6/22/2013 6:09:51 AM

 

You don't know whatcha got till you lose it.

Don't know whatcha got until you abuse it.

You don't know

You don't know

Jus' just don't know.


5/23/2013 11:38:54 PM

 

>>>>WONDERWALL

What is...

Wonderwall
A barrier which separates the mundane from the Transcendent Reality. A true Wonderwall will always have a crack, or a slit or an opening which allows anyone a glimpse of what lies beyond the Wonderwall.


Or...

Wonderwall
An infatuation so intense that the very thought of the person or object of interest is constantly in your head, on your tongue, and beneath your skin. Driving you crazy or not, your Wonderwall is your reason for living.

The World and all its beauty is my Wonderwall.

Sheilah Say


4/22/2013 2:33:33 AM

In my life. There is no need to look for light at the end of a tunnel. Because my tunnel is without end.

With my life. My body could bleed out in the middle of a sidewalk. All there would be said, go bleed else where's. Before someone trips over you.

In my life. A bucket of gold hanging from one hand. A pile of shit in the other. I'd end up with the pile of shit. Because I'm dreaming if there was a bucket of gold.

Hey. Don't miss understand what I just wrote. It would all be true if I let it. So I ignore it.

This life of mine ain't a bowl of cherries. With all the crap that comes at me.

So what if all I have is a pile of shit in my hand. It's a lot better than having wishes in another hand. Cause even though it's shit. There is something substantial. Even if it is only shit.

A whole hell of a lot better than a pocket full of wishes. And if you don't believe it.

Wish in one hand and scoop up a pile shit in the other. Then just wait to see which you'll get first.

That all I have to say on that matter.

Sheilah Say


4/17/2013 12:48:27 AM


To capture my body.
You must first capture my mind.


To capture my mind.
You will need to capture my heart.


When all three are possessed.
My soul will follow.



Sheilah


4/14/2013 10:15:42 PM

Now hoping your eye strain is better and your interest is not lost.

Part 2

Who am I
When it comes to the lifestyle.


If you have read my profile text it reads. 'Not collared, 100% submissive'. That is me. What about being a slave. That depends on the Master or Dom. A slave gives up control. Depending on the person who takes that control. As a slave one can be subject to unlimited or even vile abuse. Or acknowledged as an important part of a relationship.
As a submissive my body has been subject to abuse twice. My watch words are "red flags". Both incidents there were red flags during the course of each conversation. There was a failure on my part to pick up on these red flags.
The positive outcome from both experiences. Pay exclusively more attention to what words are being spoken.

Believe this or not my ramblings have an end point
That being...

Would I make a good slave. Being 100% submissive. That's half way to me.
Also much depends on the other half and where his head is at. If his is somewhere like a majority of male Dominants profiles on this site. You would I or any want to suffer so much abuse. Then in the end get thrown out like so much trash. Because all usefulness has been all burnt out of the slave. They gave control over to a sociopath. Or substitute what word is comfortable for you.

Back on point…

No I wouldn't make a good slave. Rather the words would be 'an excellent' slave. Yeah I can hear those thoughts or words. Am I really that full of myself you ask. All there is to know about me. I'm a person of my word and it is my bond. Once given the only time I would go back on it. Is if the person my word was given to. Asks me to with them standing in front of me. I will not lie. (Know common sense must be used here. Obviously a person not known to me will not get my address. Or other such information. There’s one more but it is in my profile text.

There is much I have to offer. As those qualities listed on my profile. Perhaps some good, some quirky, some perhaps not understood but none that are there and those omitted. Would make me less desirable as a slave.
Which brings me to the most important part of this subject.

So the most important quality I bring to a Master submissive/slave relationship.
Is I bring myself. What more could one bring into a relationship.

Sheilah


4/13/2013 11:14:09 PM

Part 1

Who am I.


This is a very important part of me. I am first (1st). Number one at the top of my list of who I am.

A Person.
This is first. Who am I secondly.

An American
Not a political tree huger animal rights anarchist what ever American. Just an American who loves the country I was born in. The United States of America.

I could go for days on this subject. What is most important about me.

First: I am a Person. Therefore all others I come in contact with are Persons or a Person. Each individual I respect. As I myself want to be respected. Yes it may seem ambiguous. But what am I first?

Second: I am an American. I believe in or Bill of Rights. Especially the first Ten Amendments. More importantly our First Amendment Rights. In particular our Freedom of Speech. This Freedom of Speech we have is the most important of all our other rights. Without it we as a People could not be the People we are.
So to me this translates into and for each individual I come into contact with. Whether what the individual saying is good, bad or indifferent. Whether I agree or disagree.

Now if an individual is speaking with and has a disagreement. If the individual maintains decorum. My undivided attention will be given to what is said.
No decorum my choices are unlimited. Most likely I listen until the abuse level is greater than my standard and walk away. Regardless of the consequence.

Who Am I
Part 2

Who am I when it comes to the lifestyle.

When whomever reads this gets over the eye strain of reading my Journal Entry.
Probably late Sunday night PST.


Who am I

Part 3


Mostly I am me. I bring me every where.



Sheilah


4/8/2013 6:13:21 PM

In my life there are days like yesterday and good days. When working Friday was my worst day. At least then when getting home the worst part of my week was in the past. Than found out Sunday would now be my worst day and night. Unlike Friday there was no going home. Ah but like Friday. Sunday gets to be left in the past.

Two priorities I have made mandatory. The first is when something becomes history. To keep it in the past were history belongs. (A bonus to this is I experience a negative but receive a positive education. Thus making all my negative experience non existence. Because they're all positive ones).
The second is no matter what happens to me that puts me into depression. Only 3 days or 72 hours are put towards that mood. And it does work for me. My logic is life comes first.

To get back to Sunday my worst day. It too has become past history and left to the past.

What's that you say, what about Monday today?
Well when working Monday was my best work day of the week. [If you want to know why. Send an email and ask]. As it turns out Monday has remained my best day of the week in retirement.

If you're curious as to my favorite day of the week when working. It was Wednesday.

 

And there it is another day in my life. Smile

 

Sheilah Say


4/7/2013 11:01:08 PM

This is how I felt all day, now and most likely before I close my eyes to sleep.

When you step into a pile of day old dog pooh. Scrape it off your shoe but there's that little bit still left. No time to completely remove it. So you continue on your way hoping the rest will self remove but it doesn't.

Ah sleep. It renders me to a state of subconsciousness. I lose myself in an excess of memories past. Not knowing what will appear next. Soaring through and over deep canyons. Or a medley of ambiguous colors flying through my mind. In stark reality I could stand on a precipice. To fall from this great peril only to land standing umharmed.

Sleep I await your embrace."To sleep, perchance to dream".‡

Sheilah Say

‡William Shakespeare, Hamlet


4/6/2013 11:59:09 PM
Out Through a Looking Glass

Seeing myself in a dream,
Apprehensive at the sight.
To the front a looking glass,
Only half of me has the light.

In my dream I have eyes,
But could not see.
I have ears,
But cannot hear.
Trying to speak,
There was no sound.
Hands at my sides,
Grasping was elusive.

Sense of smell eludes me,
With a defining area gone.
Looking over beyond my form,
Excessive unrestrained behavior.
Charged to within its threshold,
Dances to the edges of a mirror.
Engulfs my form seizes control,
Distortions are unbound, endless.
No intervals of relief or respite,
Just an unrelenting strain.

Until a final strenuous explosion,
The looking glass stands no more.
Inexplicably its existence ceases,
Vanishing to recesses of a dream.
Without the expectation of success,
Stand with seclusion all around me.
Witnessing a future reality just ahead,
Contingent on outside circumstances.
Now, I have ears in which to hear,
My eyes now see the light is clear.
Hands can now grasp and hold,

A defined area replaces the center void,
And my words spoken are heard again.
Now with all perceived intuitive senses,
I shall face my looking glass once more.
Awareness of an ever present knowledge,
Helps keep this body from being parted.


My life has known much. Kindness, hatred, lust, passion, loneliness and much more.

But when standing staring into a looking glass.
I know who stares back at me.
There is no judgment. No loneliness. No senses but sight.
What is seen is love looking back at me.


3/31/2013 3:01:50 AM

Footnote to my 03.05.2013 Journal Post

I have been thinking of all the men that write me. In particular what stops them from not writing. Especially at the beginning when they write either wanting to chat or know me better. Couple of 2 emails later, nothing.

And it isn't a lack of due diligence from me. Nor replying in a timely manner. These me are not intimated nor afraid of me.

Although it may just be me. I will come across rather up front say it like it is and to strong in my writing replies. Also there is a tendency for me to go way overboard with details. Not just of myself everything in general.

Yes you can say, my mouth runneth over. And it will be the truth.

So this is my logical conclusion.

Either that or they’re a bunch of slugs.

That's all I gots to say on this matter.

Sheilah


3/16/2013 9:03:31 PM

Mood: down and blue

It has been a long time since I have been out and about. Even longer with a man. At this rate... Well I'm only fooling myself, If I think there is any out there or here for me. Half the time I feel so full of life. Then remembering I am alone in my world. You would  someone even want me. The other half the time I feel like my entire life has lead me to a point. This point is a truism. That truism, the rest of my days in this life. I will spend alone. No one to help warm my bed. No one to please and keep happy. Just a long road ahead to live. With myself and by myself.

She


2/11/2013 11:52:08 PM

For My BFF

A Road Traveled

We all travel down a different road,
Travel is flat, steep or curved as we go.
Rolling before and rising to greet us,
A long road, together a long life as one.

by:
Sheilah Say


1/23/2013 1:59:01 AM

 


You heard, Life sucks. Right? Well life may suck green greasy canal water. My life's got that beat. Mine sucks like a hot box of rocks.


1/12/2013 10:34:03 PM

Some Good All Bad

Since my BFF had a heart attack just before Christmas. My life is filled with emptiness, loneliness and depression. Crying for me is no option. Crying has become my reality. Loneliness a constant companion. Emptiness, what my life has become. Depression, the always there reminder. Then there's reality. The reality of it all is not hearing from BFF for an extended period of time. Would only mean the one reality I'd rather think about. This I do know. My life most likely tail spin.

Sheilah Say


12/29/2012 11:13:26 PM

I am now going into my 3rd week without my weekly hormone injection. I've become very pissy over communications. Communicating is a subject, with even on my weekly dosage, very important to me. Not receiving my dose has increased my tolerance level to Zero.

Sheilah Say


12/25/2012 1:58:21 AM

 Holiday Peer
The time is so near, I'll try to make it clear.
Only thing that's good this time of the year.
Days are getting longer, than spring is here.
My eyes this year overflowed with tears.
It is not fear but from one I consider dear.
Too all who revere the holidays with cheer.
Keep those who are dear close and near.

Sheilah Say


12/14/2012 12:02:59 PM

Upon A Whisper

What was it that did such a deed,
It was help from a whispered breeze.
No one could plant all the evil seeds,
Only I with eyes which do not see.
So be on guard of wry and take heed,
Be not fooled to a whispered breeze.

Sheilah Say
12.14.2012
                      


12/10/2012 1:01:46 AM

 

Started Sunday 12.09.2012 at 11:32 pm PST
  Here it goes again. Same stuff as yesterdays entry. Except it just happens to be a new day. So if anyone reads this journal, as if.

I'm stopping not gonna do my whiney-babble-dribble. Before I leave a bright spot. We got a dog early this afternoon. An American Bull Terrier, 6 y/o and her name is Jasmine. She, we are adjusting.


Pick up where I left off sometime Monday afternoon. Naughty-Nights


Ended Monday 12.10.2012 1:00 am PST


Here it is Wednesday 12.12.2012 12:37 am PST

Yes I wrote Monday afternoon and didn't. Thought about my journal late afternoon Monday. Hey. It's the thought that counts. Right? What I thought was, no one wants to here someone whining. Let alone read it in print. So I saved all of you... Wait a sec, all of you. How 'bout a party of one. Me. Okay. So I saved myself from having to type out all that babble dribble. Of how bored and lonely I am.


Although there was a bright spot in my life Monday evening. A visit from my BFF.  :)  (:    Miles of smiles.


So that's all folks!


Oh yeah. Of the 3 of us living here. I'm the only the dog, Jasmine, barks at. Oh well. It's a livin' an' somebody gotta do it. Better Jasmine than me.  :D


night all.

Sheilah

                       


12/9/2012 12:15:55 PM

I am so very lonely since my BFF had a heart attack. I either surf the web going from site to site. Or, well get lonely. It's depressing. Although my meds I teke for anti depresstion. Do a very go job at controlling the level. Which is good I guess. If I had sewage-cidal tendencies.

It just S-U-C-K-S so much. I wanna pound my head against the wall. So there would be a break, pun no pun eah, in the monotony. But I have learned not to bang the cabeza against walls any more.

 

So big question is... Oh screw it! I'll just wallow in boredom land. 'Cos that's all there is for me to do.

 

Added note: It's like I wanna stand up and scream! Loud until I can't scream no more. To get it outta my system. But there I'm wise to what'll happen.

 

Well I'll just wallow... Nope already wrote that.

 

Bored outta my freakin' mind and can't do nothing 'bout it.

 

Sheilah Say


11/12/2012 7:57:17 PM

A Title There Is Not

A cry for loneliness.

Cry for family have not.

The cry for past love lost.

All inside cries for loss.

A shouldered burden made light.

Without family with this loneliness.

Only darkness fills in the void.

Darkness a constant companion.

In it lays a low cry of sorrow.

And is only heard by me.


Sheilah Say


11/9/2012 1:31:51 AM


Tonight while banging away at laptop keys. I felt something which came over me.

The feeling was emptiness. An emptiness without direction and purpose.
Which hasn't been felt since 06.2007

So I stopped my key banging sat here and thought about the why.
Why was it felt. I could only come up with one conclusion.
Up until 11.04.2012 I had been practicing 3 submission position.
They were given to by a Master. Who had been interested in me.
So why didn't the emptiness come over me sooner.
I had been busy most of the week. Tonight my typing was a story.
With that comes minor writes block. Where I need to stop and think.
And the story I was typing had actually been an assignment.
Given to by the Master of interest. Though I had changed it around somewhat.
What was felt could have only been a direct result of the story.

Now. How do I feel. Comfortable.

Sheilah Say


11/7/2012 1:57:27 AM

Lonely Are the Nights

On the evening of 11.04.2012 that feeling of loneliness swept through me.

Loneliness is the hardest for me. Oh I can ignore it for years. Soon-or-later the loneliness is overwhelming from a simple, I gotta go, chat on instant messenger. Or a subtle but nice, brush-off.

That is when the whole emotion becomes overwhelming. My mind get tsunami'd by an impenetrable impasse. All the thoughts and memories in my life. Come to the fore front of all thought. This can go on for up to three days. Or on and off for three days. By then I put the loneliness of my thoughts aside. Once again regaining my control on logic, reason and  rationality. With these I may continue in my emptiness. Not even allowing the briefest of glimpses back to my past.

Sheilah Say

'We’re bound by gravity but have freedom of mind'
10.19.2010


10/27/2012 8:34:47 PM

 

Got 'em Like a Jones

Lonely and blue with nothing but blues,
So lonely tonight dem blues is blue.
Got des' blues in my pockets,
Daze blues is all over da place.
Jus' like a bad dream,
Can’t shake des' blues away.


Sheilah Say


10/26/2012 9:56:02 AM

Which is you? Forgive or Forget

Me. I would rather forget then forgive.

It is always better to forget then to forgive.

Why?

When a person forgives that person still remembers.
If they still remember they may be inclined to be vindictive.
So in the course a tiff would, and from my observations, do bring into the conversation what once forgiven.
Just to throw it back in your face. A get one up on the person.

Does this make for a better person? You call it. I really don't care.

When someone commits a transgression against me. Than that person asks for my forgiveness.
My course of action is as follows.

I will not forgive you. I'd rather forget what occurred between us. My word on this.
Saying that to someone, as I am not a vindictive person, truly I will forget about what happened.

After all, if I dwell on past accounts against me. Surely stagnation sets in and progression into the future will be impossible.

Thoughts by,
Sheilah Say

''Life, a place to meet another half way''


10/25/2012 2:52:54 PM

 

 

It is better to forget then it it to forgive.

Sheilah Say


6/29/2012 11:22:02 AM

 

Thrusday I rode to Starbucks for a meet and greet. After 45 minutes of waiting I rode home. After open the garage door I was told Reo had a seizure. The vet was in route.

Reo is a blonde Labrador Retriever 15 years old.

Since moving in we bonded very strongly.

All I could do was lay by her in a spooning position till my BFF arrived.

After which my BFF and I went to my room.

I'm not gonna detail it. Just say after my 3 day greive. My heart will be better and my thoughts will be of Reo.

Reo. My Reo. She was my one and only just as Sammy was.

 

 

There is a photo of Reo among my profile pictures.

"With you we are always more"

 

07.11.2011

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yesterday

Thursday, 06.28.2012 was a hurting day for me.

But I'll add to this after Saturday.

Sheilah


6/27/2012 10:57:25 PM

Memories Hiss By

The sun shine’s through my eyes,
See beams on a wall.
Sunshine seeking right next to me,
Hear it hit the corner door.
A searchlight through my heart,
Hits now I’m on the floor.

Words hiss through my memory,
Like a colonic BOOM!
Words hiss through my memory,
Like wind whips at a tree.
See a man standing in the corner,
There he is in the corner again.

Stop the words from consume me,
My baby can’t all for free.
People going phones stuck to an ear,
Right in my darkened room.
Mind riding on multi colored lights,
The corner man in this room.

Waves with words start a tremblin',
Hitting just like a sonic tune.
Words and waves again a tremble,
Within this blackened room.
Like a cold damp rag it’ll kill you,
Later or soon turning into blue.

Hissin', hiss hiss. Too much hissing,
In these ears always lists.

If all the noise don't get you soon,
Your memories definitely shall.

Ride-on
>>>>>Ride-on

Right there on a closed off room.

BOOM!!!
>>>>>DOOM
BOOM!!!

Va-room in da moon,
>>>>>Alone with a tune in my room.

Sheilah Say


5/23/2012 10:48:49 PM

A subs Surprise.

For the past 2 weeks my Master tells me we are going to a party and there I will receive a surprise. At the party all the people there are men. I wore shelf bra, waist cincher, black stay-up stocking, 4 1/2 inch heels with a 1/2 inch platform. Covering my waist and itty-bitty clittie is a black thong and a locking harness that held a butt plug in place. Also a collar with a lead. Which my Master lead me around the room. To introduce me friends and other party partakers. I was instructed prior to be sure to ask, do you require an oral service from me Sir. Fortunately for me my offer was declined by each man. Some 18+. My Master then lead me into a back bedroom. Here were the hosts of the party and Masters friends. After being introduced I asked if either required oral servicing. In chorus came back two yes replies. So the lead was taken off and I serviced both hosts. While servicing them came, and if you cum she swallows but when you do cum. You can just cum on her, Master suggested. I swallowed one huge load. The other went on my breasts an rubbed into each nipple. My nipples are very sensitive so with each stroke from the cock tip. I let out moans. She likes that, wow! Not allowed to clean up the lead was clipped on and we went to the main party room. There 3 men approached. Each required a fulfillment on my previous offer. Getting on my knees each one received my oral service. Then came, over here girl we need some of that too. So on my hands and knees I crawled to where they sat. In route, some 20 feet or so I hear, over here next. How many times? A lot. At the end of what I figured 2 ½ hours of oral service. The party wound down. Leaving host, my Master/me and a man I hadn’t known. Into the bathroom following Master. There he unlocked the harness and took the plug out. Feels better doesn’t it? Yes I replied. Good ‘cos now you receive the surprise. Lead out there standing in the room was the gentleman I didn’t know. Stripped with an erection of 10 or 11 inches and thick. With a glistening lubed condom on. Over to a bondage bench I was bent over legs spread and cuffed to it. With my arms out stretched and also cuffed and blindfolded. He took me from behind. For 20, maybe longer he pounded my pussy. Someone was playing with my nipples. In on sudden motion he pulls out and shot a load in the crack of my ass. My ass cheeks were spread apart and I felt his warm thick cum. Slowly go down the crack to my pussy. Two fingers guided the cum towards what was my Masters cock. You’re finally going to have inside you. It wasn’t the long thick cock that had cumed on me but my Masters. He had figured away to get his cum inside of me without cumming in me. Then I felt his cock. It was a lot thicker and longer than the prior cock. Or I should say my Masters cock. He fucked me till I had 14 orgasms. When all was over there was collaring ceremony. I was fitted with a thin locking surgical steel locking collar. When the ceremony ended I knelt by Master on pillows while everyone toasted my new found submission and permanent slave to Master.

This has been a fantasy. Brought to you by...

My brain. Get more with a better head.  Surprised


4/30/2012 2:20:00 PM

My Core Beliefs

01.Treat people as you would want to be treated, 02.Mean what I say, say what I mean, 03.Integrity is the first line against lies, 04.To trust liars is worst than a fool, 05.Etiquette rules, being rude drools, 06.There’s only two realities; the truth, the lie, 07.Exercise free will, 08.Lead by example, 09.Never under estimate the power of denial, 10.A moment of silence is worth a lifetime of knowledge, 11.Life is simplicity no sense in complications, 12.All comes to those that wait, 13.Don’t interrupt a person talking, 14.There are only positive experiences, 15.There are no negative experiences, 16.Only negative experiences are those not learned from, 17.A wealth of knowledge is gleaned from just listening, 18.Experience learned is experience gained. Even from others 19.Embrace all that is a part of me, 20.Temptation resisted is a true measure of character, 21.Ignore the evil, cherish truth, 22.Truth lives, lies die, 23.Deceit and despair start from within, 24.Coincidence(s) is/are someone’s idea of mere chance, 25.Life is all we really own, the rest just borrowed, 26.Life is precious make good use of it, 27.Give more in life, and happiness will follow, 28. Quality is equaled by quality given, 29.There are optional uses for everything, 30.A minimum of two options in all decisions, 31.Anything is possible, 32.Be on time or early for appointments, 33.Give examples instead of advice, 34.Observe not to repeat subject matter, 35.These words are absolutes; never, ever, wrong* and right*36.I am only who I am, 37.Not who I am not [don’t be plastic], 38.More decisions in life are made incorrectly than correct one’s, 39.There is a touch of peace in each of us, 40.I am for love not the other, 41.A halo of ignorance is not bliss, 42.To dwell in the past makes a future difficult to progress into, 43.God is a concept used as a measure.

*Try using incorrect for wrong and correct for right

These are what and who I am and all about. They are as a code of honor is, valued highly and followed without deviation. An uncompromising core which has sustained me through life. Which will sustain me into my future.
Have you a list such as this?

Sheilah Say


3/5/2012 11:54:54 PM

Too many speaking practices. Too many practices not speaking. In reference to the phoneys and talk-talkers.


3/5/2012 9:27:53 PM

Throw caution to the wind and take me as I am.


2/21/2012 2:18:10 AM

Been researching the word slave and what it takes to be one.

Now there is a lot of info out there and even here. On the definition and what is expected. Also I found out there is an entirerly different thinking on Owed slaves by Master's/Mistress'.
Here the prevailing thought of a slave basically is a piece of meat. To be treated as the Owners whim.
Here's what I've learned so as not to bore you with detail.

Europe, forward progressive thinkers. Know that over abuse of a slave will only end two ways. Hospital bills or leading to a slave escaping before the sheet is drawn over head.

Here in the U.S.A., stone-aged neanderthalian and backwards stepping thinking. As I said above a piece of meat.

Though not all is bad news here. There are forward progressive thinkers here. To show optimism I'll go with a 50-50 blend. Of forward progressive thinkers and stone-aged neanderthalian and backwards stepping thinkers.

Which are you?

Sheilah Say


2/18/2012 2:07:52 AM

I have taken another step toward my transition. Friday 02.17.2012 I had an appointment with my doctor. I asked if he would complete my DMV DL329 form, gender change on my drivers license. Also on a separate paper with letterhead. If he could give the information required, sign and date the letterhead. For gender change for my U.S. passport application. He did! So now I will be able to have my drivers license and passport indicate female. Happy Dazes.

Sheilah


12/25/2011 3:27:09 PM

TRUE or FALSE

'Here' is where I live. 'There' is where 'They' live.

It is good to have family. Here where I live my family is surrogate but we are a family.

I was sitting on this Christmas day, and I am not one for Christmas or other religiously observed days, thinking of family and began to cry. Here I am loved. Here I am happy. Here is where my heart is torn. There I am not loved. There I am shonde, shamed for who I am. But for one forward thinking niece and nephew. That excepts me as I am without preconceptions or prejudices.

So I sit in my four cornered room. Knowing my surrogate family is free of  preconceptions and   prejudices. Though I feel the love, friendship bond and have friends here. My heart still feels the emptiness of being without.

My mother told me, "not to care what others say or think about you. Because you know what the true is".

Do I care? As I wrote, my heart is torn. You decide where, I can not.

Sheilah Say
Life is lost without love

-Prejudice:
NOUN:
An unfavorable opinion or feeling formed beforehand or without knowledge, thought, or reason.

-Preconceptions: NOUN:
1.         A conception or opinion formed beforehand.
2.         Bias

The definitions leaves much to be desired. The words as well as thoughts. Have been in breed in the society as a whole. Think of what we as humans would be like. If the words where eradicated from the vocabulary?



10/28/2011 3:01:20 AM

What is...

Life is like a hurricane a strong
A fierce wind comes in an blows
Everything around is left eschewed
When the hurricane is finished
Clean up and begin again anew

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

In truth we live
In lies we parish

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

We are castles like that of sand
Swallowed by surrounding sea’s


10/22/2011 11:16:43 PM

    Poor little Sheilah girl. Another day and night goes by and no one to keep company with her.

    Lonely are her days. Which would be bearable for her. If in an evening or two in the week their were another to play with. But her nights are boring. Which makes evening time doubly lonely.

    So as she rest her soft blonde hair against the pillow. Sheilah closes her tired eyes slowly drifting to dreamland. Thinking of what was what should be. For her and the one she'll one day serve.

    Naughty-Night little Sheilah girl. Sweet naughty dreams for you.

----------                 ----------

    A thirst of desire. Which has not been quenched.

 


9/23/2011 4:51:16 PM

    All in all regarding my profile description. To describe myself would be to say, I am a novice, A curious novice with knowledge and some experience(s). All experiences involved sexual gratification. In one form or another. This lead to an intellectual curious of a non sexual D/s experience. Which lends to fulfillment for the D/s relationship. With all parties concerns. 

   Do I what to be collared. Or a slave to be used. I am not a slave but a submissive. Used in the sense of experience, yes. With input to said use. What may become or not from the experience for parties concerned. Is a matter of personalities and attitudes. Being collared for a person. Would be in considerations of the type of relationship.

    If when in doubt of any or all in my Description or Interests. A degree of common sense may provide an explanation.

    I see more to a D/s relationships other than 'tie me up and sexual gratification'. And not just a learning and experience for me. Rather an experience for all involved.

    Consider this; My individualism as is independence are precious to me. Not to be taken lightly. Too give either up is to be thought about seriously. And only for that one individual who’s individualism and independence is as precious. i.e. Of like mind.
    Thought and communicating those thoughts. In conjunction with common sense. A partnership in any relationship which communicates always makes for a better outcome.

 


    Sheilah :)


9/20/2011 1:10:22 PM

What rules me

It isn't emotions. Nor is it pride. You can rule out desire, ambition, or lack there of, material wealth, relationships, peers, fashion, current events, opinions, what is said of me, politics, religion, impressions left on others, morality, fear (and of the unknown) and fate.

All of the above and certainly more. So what does rule me? First and foremost, integrity. Along side intgrity, truth. Followed very closely by, knowledge, reason, true-facts, logic and deductive reasoning/logic. As in the following.


'When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth?'

Then there's common sense. If it were not for my common sense. Where in life would I be, is any ones guess. There is a need to balance the intake of information.

I am not completely without emotions. Although a certain degree of caution and prudence are employed.

After all I maybe a fool* but I ain't stupid.


Sheilah Say

*I alone reserve what reference is used when referencing myself.


9/19/2011 11:24:19 PM

Another evening in front of the computer. Sure do meet a lot of diverse people here. Now that I shook those crazies. Who were trying to make me feel self conscience or dirty. The sites a lot better.

Started reading, Different Loving: An Exploration Of The World Of Sexual Dominance And Submission. Well more like skipping through the book. Instead reading from the beginning. It has so much information.


9/12/2011 10:50:09 PM

       I Am                             I’m Not
Speak my mind→but not rude
Confident         →not reckless
Intelligent        →not conceited
Creative           →not conforming
Humble            →not superior
Content            →not medicated
Curious            →not nosey
Intelligent        →not a know-it-all
Questioning      →not dumb
Imaginative      →not dull


Sheilah Say


9/10/2011 3:17:05 AM

Me

I am a cutey beauty
‘Cos I’m the reality
A very rare commodity
A treasure not an oddity
Ain’t one dem snooties
Nor big on popular beauty
Even the valley fruities
Get the ol' foot booty
Wannabe’s poser that be
Truly they are not for me
Say this person you see
She isn't all that perfect
Less a teaser more a pleaser
But a cutey beauty indeed

Sheilah Say


8/7/2011 4:47:48 PM

    Things for me at this point are down right boring. Retired without a car there is a tendence to stay home and bang away at the keyboard. Although I have been doing more writing. Then an occassional ride on my Sportster. Still, it would be nice plus a change of pace. If I could get on with a D/s relationship. Even once in awhile break the boredom go to a meet and greet. I can't even get a chat in any of the chatrooms here or elsewhere. People who do contact me are always a distance away.
    So it seems my destiny is to be bored to tears. So I should make the best of it.


    *Is there anybody out there*

   If only if ...


Sheilah 


7/17/2011 6:21:59 AM

And So This We Know

What is this that we know
Who has gone to far
Maybe it's war again
With someone's friend
And so this we know
Was evil ever any good
For those in the past
Then for the future again

Do we leave it all up to
Politicians and their men
And just sit at home
Indulging in what is sin

What is this that we do
Being selfish and rude
With all the rest who live
Inside this tiny room
Get what they can, go on
Then be gone again
The door is left open
Skies fall on blind eyes

Do we leave it all up to
Those that have big plans
Or sit on our fat chairs
Playing seek and go hide

What is this that we are
Little children without care
See calm before a storm
Trash and nonsense in air
Could it all be undone
Why not stare and pretend
Fixated on a flat screen
We'll just press send

Who will we leave it up to
If know one does care
Peoples of our future
Perhaps just on a dare

And so this we know
Knowing what it is
I’ll leave it to you
And pick up over there

Sheilah Say


5/13/2011 2:51:47 PM


Now is the time for all good man to come to the aide of Sheilah Say.


5/3/2011 2:03:17 PM


The sadest time in my life comes when I'm let down. Someone comes on to me gets me all hot for him. Then the big let down. Usual it's form is distance, attitude or not being able to read. In the first two the let down goes easy. But the last one my feelings have been cheated. More like lied to you say. I'll give a lot of leeway because of my pictures. But that leeway only goes so far. Especially when communications has been going on for a time.

To end this all I will say is. A let down is what it is. It certainly isn't the first. And I seriously doubt it will be the last.

This to shall pass.                


4/18/2011 5:11:50 PM

 

 

Looking for another D/s experience like the 'oh to short one' I had. I just don't want it to be short.


4/15/2011 10:35:40 PM

 

 

    I have communitated with many people here on CM. I found all but one very nice.

 

    There is just one thing I would like people to do more of. That is to read my profile. Not just read my photos. It is some what long I know. But come on there's a lot of information.

 

    What! TMI. Better to much then to little. Or nothing at all from some ot the profile I've seen.

 

 

 


3/26/2011 12:52:27 AM

 

I had a most wonderful day this past Saturday. Yeah I know almost a week gone by before I saying something. A member here came all the way from Orange County. For me! Just to see me!  ♥  He arrived on time. A little after 9 am. Of course I wasn't ready. But he was very graceful and waited. He suggested we go get breakfast. I love IHOP. But when we arrived there. A line of people were waiting to be seated. I was a little disappointed. I didn't realize how great that was. Although we drove to Downtown San Diego to eat. But I really didn't know of a place. We drove around Downtown a few minutes. Then he saw a place opened. Croce's Restaurant. I had heard a lot of great stuff about Croce's and the food. It was all true. They had the best french toast. Well not as good as my own. But good non the less. We ate outside. Which was a first for me. Then after breakfast we drove to the San Diego Harbor. Actually I was trying to think of a place. We made a sharp left turn into the parking lot. And took the walking tour at The Maritime Museum. That was fantastic! We went down into a Soviet attack submarine. There was an American one. But I had to agree with my date. It looked unsafe. Then after which we went out onto a barge. Where there was set up a dozen or so old cannons and artillery. After leaving there we toured the HMS Surprise. A replica of an 18th century Royal Naval Frigate. And used in the movie, Master and Commander. Starring Russel Crowe. Over all I would have to say. My Saturday was wonderfully fantasically AWESOME!
Thank you so very much for the day, I will remember it always.

Sheilah Say   


3/23/2011 4:22:32 AM

 

A Wayward Stay
What will they do of the desperation today
What would there be if not for bygone ways
What did they say of all the dying and dead
What could it take to save us from being bled
What had been said when every domino fell
What about them thousands of tolling bells
What can be sacrificed dug from the ground
What have we made of this mess all around
What are you now grown and far from home
What will become to their precious domes
What shall we tell to the one’s in the womb
What should be done as we run out of room
What ways are possible in making such a life
What does it take for us to stop all this strife

I can go on all day with this and what is that
But rest assured when the moon turns black
It will take a heck of a lot to pick up the scat

Sheilah Say


3/12/2011 9:21:30 AM

Not a Matter of Subject

Instantly.
In the flash of the eye.
There sat a little girl.
Unknowing as the baby.
Held by a loving parent.

To grow with nurturing.
To see new light.
On a brand new day.
And behold He standing.
Bears a total stranger.

Guides through growth.
A girl with a new path.
Giving not just purpose.
New meaning as well.
And a bond for her life.

By a love once ignored.

The little girl,
Sheilah Say

 


3/9/2011 10:36:32 PM

Today started at 6:15 am PST. There were several emails here in my in-box. So I answered them. Now it is 10:20 pm PST. I have replied to 110 emails.
You have all been so nice. I thank you. Although just that seems so inadequate. Mere words could not begin to describe. The love and joy I have received from so many. And how my heart feels now.


With my deepest love and all my heart. Thank you for the smile all have put on this face.

My Love To All.

Sincerely,
Sheilah          


2/25/2011 5:46:01 PM

 


 

 

I find the cost of my individually throughout my life. A high price to pay. Non the less, as the price remains the same. So do I.
Sheilah         


2/24/2011 2:38:59 PM


If I were a fly on a wall. I could hear it all. But who would I tell. Tell the other flies the shit I heard! Naw.  ;)
Sheilah 


2/23/2011 6:15:45 PM

 

 


Today has been a relatively uneventful day. Which is good.
If anyone reading my journal entries. Believes me to be whining. I
apologize. I sometimes have a tendency to go a little over the edge. In a
time of minor crisis.

Sheilah

 


2/20/2011 12:53:05 AM

 

What I Feel

I feel like a useless mass of tissue. A life which I once thought to independent. Was in reality at the mercy of everyone. Who have thought to be afraid of me. In one form or another. What good is it for me, to go through a life that I have had. There is nothing for me in my future years. Except more of what was in my past. I didn't want to grow old alone. Rather to share what what is mine. But the only thing I have to share. Is more of the same from my past. There will be no one that would want any part of me. I see that now. I also see a very lonely future for myself.

Am I feeling sorry for myself. I haven't in my past. So why start now.

My future holds nothing for me.


My thoughts on myself.

Sheilah Say


2/19/2011 4:12:32 PM

 

 

It seems my living situation changes with the
wind. No sooner do I feel safe and secure
where I live. That I am either asked or given a notice.

This time it was a notice. To move out by the

end of April/2011.

Now I must start over. My choice? Live on the street. That would be a last choice. Non-the-less a reality. If Nothing is found by the end of April.

Sadly entered into this journal by:
Sheilah Say  :(

 

 


2/16/2011 10:09:22 PM

 

Early this afternoon I was contacted by a member of this site. via my Yahoo Instant Messenger. His purpose. To inform me of posted photos of me on Collar Me. They were in his words, "to sexually over the top". Of course the ones with me in a skirt, top etc. were very sexy. He didn't stop there. Continuing his debasement of my photos and how bad I was for posting such trash. I was just starting to get ready for an appointment. And mentioned this at the beginning to, "please hurry". Finally as upset as he was making me. I put an end to the one sided conversation. By ending it abruptly. This individuals collar me I.D. is Smellofman.

Sheilah


2/16/2011 11:28:21 AM

 

 

 

**********************************


  Never under estimate the power of denial     


2/15/2011 8:28:38 PM

 

Life is like a hurricane at times.
A strong wind comes in blows everything
around.
Then you're left to pick up the pieces and start a
new.

Sheilah Say

©  Copyright Clearlight Publishing
All Rights Reserved

 


2/13/2011 11:00:20 PM

 

*************************************

The Rails
I stop at times just to listen as life goes by,
I feel the low turning of the train wheels.
Hear the deep horn to clear the way ahead,
As it slowly moves along that empty rail.


Winding along rivers as well as the coast,
Miles of train cars being pushed and pulled.
Taking car after carload to a destination,
To a final stop a long, long way from here.


Laying in my bed late into the cool evening,
I listen and wait for the low rumble of freight.
Like in many of my dreams the train goes by,
Taking me with it riding to that final stop.


The motion of moving slowly over the tracks,
Rocking as we pass the connection of the rail.
The rhythm makes for a soothing combination,
Allowing the body and mind to fall & drift off.


On and on all those miles slip slowly on by,
A train in motion, rolling wheels and the rail.
I can not imagine on a better way of traveling,
Over the rails the side to side sway of a train.
 


Sheilah

 

 


2/13/2011 6:54:03 PM


Is there any body out there for lil' me?

I 'd love an good spanking. That is, if you believe you won't tire before I do.   :D

Sheilah


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YesSarah
 
 Age: 26
 Derby, Canada