sensuousslave4U

This is to those of You whom even bother to read through a P/persons FULL profile and Journal Entries.

As You can imagine, i have received a great deal of responses to my profile, although i am flattered by the responses, it has become an overwhelming ordeal sifting through the fakes, players, sex-addicts and just plain freaks. i know there are those of You *out here* that are real.. but come on, one can only imagine what a person, let alone a slave of well over 10+ yrs living this way of life has had to deal with. Have a bit of empathy. i do not sit here lurking online all days nor all hours of the night; i do have what *normies* call a life. i have a great deal of responsibilities that i must meet, as W/we all do, in O/our everyday lives. It is simply a fact of life.

If You have had even the common  ounce of respect and desire, You are still with me here, on the edge of Your seat, hanging on every word i have written. i have something to share.. and by share i mean that it is not something i shout out on rooftops nor is it in my original profile, although now it appears it ought to be. This is very sacred and something i have had a personal battle with for nearly 10 years,.. hoping beyond hope that one day i will wake up and *it* will all have been a dream.. that it will finally be over. Yet that hasn't happened, sad to say.. and i have found difficulties in finding a Dom that can handle me and this situation. Perhaps i am looking in the wrong place, but my gut tells me not-because over these years i have had a Dom that has helped to nurture me and guide me through these CHALLENGES that i face. i will just give a short, simple and brief scenerio of some facts and Whomever cares to want to know more i will gladly answer those questions at such a time when able to.

It began in 2000, when i made the decision to go back to school-College, to make a better life for me and my daughter. i moved an hour away-to a strange city i didn't know anyone. Needless to say it was a difficult transition for both her and i. Yet things went smoothly and i just knew i was right where i was meant to be for whatever the reason or outcome would be. Never in a million years did i think nor did i imagine the string of events that would slowly come to frutation and i would be tested.

The pain began 2 wks after the move. The Dr's on the University Campus thought it might be stress.. being a non-traditional student, with a small child, liviing in a new town where we didn't know anyone..blah, blah. The pain was an *all over body boney-type pain*.. after rounds of Therapy of all sorts another Dr decided to begin treating me with a series of medications, which in turn proved to be yet another mishap. They through everything at me You can imagine.. finally they diagnosed me with Fibromyalgia. Back then it wasn't as widely recognized and well known as it is now. This diagnosis was a stigma attached to me for well over 3 yrs.. i was misdiagnosed. my condition combined with all the medications caused a decline in my nearly 4.0 GPA and in my third year of College i was forced to drop out due to my limitations. i did have a very wonderful Dom throughout most of this time, which helped me immensley, not only with the pain but with simply order and guidance. You see, i made the decision to go back to school at 30 yrs old to make a better life for my babygirl.. it nearly crushed me when i had to pull out of College. Then the questions started,.. WHY was i truly brought here. i still don't know the answer.

i have seen so many Dr's,. been on nearly every medication known to mankind, been lost, forgotten, misdiagnosed and fallen through the cracks for over 5 years. It is only until 5 years ago that eveerything began to change.. things were slow at first, but i finally started getting the proper tests that were needed; MRI's, Bone Scans, EMG's, Y'Rays, Bloodwork, CT Scans... Yet it is only until recently when i made the decision to take my own healthcare into my hands and gain control, over my medical records did i realize the true extent of my disabilities. Noone had bothered to tell me, this was wrong or that was wrong.. noone bothered to refer me to the right Dr's for the right tests and treatments..At this time i was considered Chronic and Dr's do not like to see patients whom which are labelled as such.. even though it was not my fault they way things happened. They just do not care anymore.

So, recently, several months ago, i made the decision to change Dr's and things started to happen.... Proper testing, Referalls.. We have made some huge discoveries,.. things that were as mentioned, misdiagnosed or simply disregarded. i choose not to share the content therein with anyone at this time unless so asked by the *right Dom*.. but i will say that my life is now filled with tests, Dr's and upcoming back surgeries.. pretty scary stuff,.. but for me,.. one that has been through what i have,.. i see it as a blessing. i have many challenges ahead of me.. i am strong and capable and i am still a GOOD slave.. to the RIGHT DOM.

So, now You can see where i am at... and a bit of what lies ahead. i NEED a Dom to help me through this.. the mental, emotional.. the physical pain that rocks my world/body with such an unbelievable force. i have found that being in a D/s relationship has always been the key to my healing... He gets me through those hard times,. the times when i want to give up... it is so hard to explain here in a simply Journal Entry. However i will say that the involvement of my disability is spinal related.

Now there You have it. As much as i can and am able to type at this time anyways....  perhaps this can answer some of Your questions,.. perhaps some of You can find in You Patience.. perhaps some of You can relate.. but i KNOW,.. with every fiber of my being that HE exists and HE is out here or there or somewhere. And i will never give up-i will never give up hope.

Perhaps more later........

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   

i should add, since it isn't directly stated in my profile, that it is my intention to relocate to Arizona within 2 yrs. Why 2 yrs?.. because i have a daughter here in MI and i promised her that i would not leave until she graduates HS.  (obviously all things are subject to change)
Also, i am not looking to relocate anywhere else, or until such time. i also do not respond to emails without photo's on profile or at least attached to Your email..inspite of me being a slave i still deserve respect.                        
                                                    slave lee ~