blossoming through my mind

passionate  of thoughts.

leather thongs, tag and press

careless  of the fault.

let it be  where they lay

passionate with no play.

 my what to linger of the paddle,  swinging from his hand.

bringith me upward.  his to command.

steer me not, toward a lighted path too far

safe am i to  hide in  my own mind.

kneeled and down ward falls. 

 ( strange the  things  that  come from  my mind and heart some times huh?)

let it drip,

running down my back, passing by my thighs,

 draining to the floor,

 whose to say what for?

 bleeding now the red, of precious shedded tears.

 tearing threw some pain of last years old fears.

 dripping down with cold, clinging of this whip!

  drag me down tight,  taken with the night,

 darkness of my soul. calleth back my own.

 tearith through my veins ,  let them drip with pain.

 puddles on my floor.  and all  i want  is more.

 tie me tight tonight. 

 it will  make it alright.

 Crackith is the whip.

 soul  seeking,  may we slip.

 dripped down drain me dry.

 forever in my head to hide.

(  HMM THIS ONE I WROTE TONIGHT IS WEIRD. BUT I LIKE IT.)

restless girl  here we go

  restless girl, do not fear,

i must sleep, for there to be

my self for tomorrows  dreams

dream me not cut down deep

dark within the soul asleep

lead me not in the light of the day.

take my soul, 

into the earth to stay. 

( this was written by my self on June 6, 2012) 

i wrote it because,  i do not fucking understand some things,  my mind is tangled with feelings, LUST AND  confusion. 

 any way,  i must  try to rest. i do have a job to consider.

Good night Collar me

if not for my lack of control and gratitude I could have had a weekend in the sun watching Sir compete................perhaps one day soon I may have the chance..............

ashes,

ashes of tomrrow may blow on by.

Ashes,

ashes of tomorrow , could make you cry.

cry with hope.  cry with  tears.

cry,  trails of the red streaked with lights of fear.

Ashes of  old shed  me tonight.

ashes of new leave no blemishes in sight.

Ashes blown by.

Ashes blown free.

Forever may I seek  ashes of red for me.

(  this is just something i was thinking so  i wrote it out. thank you for sharing)

thinking about today. thinking about  my life,  and the loved ones  included  in it.

headed  to work soon and thank ful for that. 

Just hanging out for a little while.

What are you doing?

going to sit in chat for a few minutes, while I fill out an application for one more part time job. 

JUST WISHING EVERY ONE HERE AT COLLAR ME A HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY!

just  hanging out for now, enjoying some privacy,  job searching also, chatting abit here and there. and I am also running laundry and cleaning house. 

i walked to the store ealier.

what are you doing?

HAVE A SAFE AND HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY  WEEKEND EVERY ONE!!

i put the pizza away, i have scrubbed down my kitchen cabinets. Now  it is time  to go walk my dogs.  then get them settled in thier kennels for the night.

then  im back  on some chatting and more cleaning. fun hmm?

i wish.

YOOOO  HOOO,   PPSSSSSSSSSTT!! 

I JUST ORDERED SOME PIZZA!!  DOES ANY BODY WANT A SLICE?  IT WILL  BE HERE IN 30 MINUTES!!   lol  giggles.   i can email  it to you!

i have a new job!  Things are  looking up!  I am starting to work my German Shepard again! My husband ( WHOM LIKE MY PROFILE SAYS IS NOT!! MY MASTER NOR DOMINANT!! SAYS THAT WE MAY BE ABLE TO AFFORD TO GET ME A CAR IN THE SUMMER) 

BUT i am happy these past couple of weeks and it has been a while since i have felt some peace within and felt pleased with my own inside behavior. 

thank you for listening.

HAPPY MOTHER`S DAY TO ALL THE MOMS.  I HOPE YOU HAVE MANY MORE. 

tangles

 tangles of lies, tangles of truth.

tangles of justice with no full proof.

tangle me not, with dread,

 need me now, tangles of rope in stead.

hold me true, tie me strong.

tangles like this.  i do not take as wrong.

tangle me with your love, through strength shown of the ropes.

life is shredding to me ,  pulling apart  my own tangles of hope.

 lead me not, to a tangled web of despair.

 lead me instead to  the tangle of your lair.

lay me down, tie me wide.  tangle a thresh, gives me nothing to hide.

shedding tears from a tangle of red.

streaked me not.  tangles  heavy to dread.

pull me now, hearts a  ripped.

tangles of love.  My love may you keep.

  this is what  i had in side me and so i wrote it, thank you for sharing.  i know it has been a long time since i have written.

just taking each day as they come

going back out side, eeven though it is late,  i want to enjoy my fire, think about my life and drink some hot coa coa, while looking AT THE stars.

what are you doing?

i  thoroughly  enjoy accepting the private chat from some dumb ass and then when the stupid questions start coming, I politely offer to cut and paste my own profile in to the private chat area for his or her  reading convenience. 

hmm bit of  a smart ass,  am i not?  wanna spank me?   ( grins )

chat was nice today, there are too many goof balls asking for privates  though, as soon as they find out i am not going  to do any thing they also leave, so why bug me in the first place,  u can chat  in the lobby area just as well as private.

thank you

I am hanging out in chat, for a little while so
I can have some company while i clean house and work on tax papers.

what are you doing?

i see alot of you ladies peeking at  my profile, if you want to chat, just ask me. simple as that,  just because you chat or view a profile that does not commit you to any thing.

just  hanging out while  i do some chores and care for my dogs and also work on Tax junk. yuck.........

I am having  trouble staying connected to the chat rooms tonight,  bummer

this  is silly  but  i am going  to write it any way,

ijust finished rewatching  the video  of my self  in  Feb

2/2/2012 8:22:07 PM,    i watched it and remember how much fun i had an felt when i was listening  to shakira, and i swung around and let go and swung my ass back to my web cam.  i had fun that  day, making  that  silly clip of video  that  did get me some appreciated compliments

okay  back to  hanging up clothes and tx paper work.  thanks.

color me now,

safe from all harm,

 color me how,  to tell this with charm,

speaking  a name  of his long good night kiss,

 words to  hold close, paints spilt down,  coursing onward,  lovers divine.

speak of me now, behead thy be true.

color  me now, as i think only of you.

kiss me not,

lead me  A side.

colors me now, whips of lashes with light.

bleed  me down, with the colors of red.

pink marked blue, black,  i do not  dread.

  color me once more.

keepeth me deep.

tomorrow i come home.

and for ever,  no more to weep.

colors of the reddish,  black and blue, let s  me know

i can come home in my heart. to you.

okay, i am pleased with this writing.  thank you  for reading and sharing collar me.

rest less girl,

sitting here,

rest less girl in this chair,

what does this girl have to fear

fear of thoughts?  fear of death?

fears of Godless sins of theft?

demons of old call down deep.

sitting here in this chair,

what have i to fear?

fear the

heart of cold, shuttered thoughts.

 fears of

thoughts  targeted, within lusted, slaughtered parts,

parts of new, shattered down deep.

in to the dept of dying and un keep

keepeth me now, within my own self.

showered me down,  bleeding to death.

bury me how? 

as i just sit in this chair

burdened me down, with thoughts

that are dear.

dear within  my own heart, of my  world.

for ever seeking this restless girl.

restless girl look no more

 restless girl,   sitting here,

my own restless, girl you are home.

in this chair, in your heart you need have no fear.

okay  i can accept the ending of this one now.

just   enjoying  some  of my favorite dance videos

here some are,  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YNSxNsr4wmA

and also  this  one

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DUT5rEU6pqM&ob=av3e

and hmm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X2c6jjkjdgQ

hmm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h7OyWvyt6mI

also

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VCLxJd1d84s&ob=av2e

hm  this  one

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWz9VN40nCA&ob=av2e

some  good ones if you  wanna  bounce around and get some exercise!!

whew  long day to day.  real tired,  its  good though, maybe i will  be able to sleep/rest well.  i had a long appointment today  with  my vocational rehabilitation counselor.

i was gone from my dogs and home area from early morning till late this evening.

when  i finely get a job , i can hold , i am going to hire a dog walker or sitter to help me with my doggie companions. 

( PS i had to use my yahoo to help me with the spell check, it doesn't work here for me Collar me worth a shit!)  and if Collar me , does not like me saying that, then please would they either update or FIX.  the spell checker! Thanks)

I shall  see what this day brings my  way.

hmmm,

 I am just sitting here by this fire thinking over my life, thinking of what i have been doing with my self.  and just thinking about, my vocational rehabiltation,  and just thinking over, the things I have done, thinking about what  i can do better at, and where I might 

 im prove.  I am going to enjoy the  fire and  the stars  now,  i can see the big dipper! 

  it looks pretty.

 Then i will try to seek my bed.

good night Collar me

I had a dream last night,  last night MArch 16, 2012.  i had a dream.

what I am writng right now, is real idid dream this for real.

I dreamed about  my own slef and also about the man I use to call MAster. I call him Sir now.  and he does still check me.

any way I had a dream that, 

i was at some building waiting to apply for a job.  I was dressed  up very nicely too. I looked good and sharp! 

Then in my dream.  i was in a line standing near a wall. in my dream I remember filling some man press up against  my ass and I could fill his cock!!

So  in my dream, in a very sarcastic voice . I Said stop it!! to the man behind me!  Then I stepped away from him up a couple of steps.

  but in my dream this man had the nerve to walk up and press his cock against my ass again.  right there in that LINE!  so in my dream.  I dreamed that I turned around in tending to put him in his place!

  When I turned around in my dream. it was the Man I use to  call Master standing behind me.  I remember wishing in my dream that I could fall through the floor.

 In my dream i was stammering like a idiot.  Ifelt  ashamed!  I did start to  drop on my knees right there.  But Sir said NO!  Stand there.  Then my Sir said to me.

This was just to remind you whose you are! Then he walked away.  And I turned back around and tended to my job interview.  

 I really did dream this too!  I did.   i wanted to write it down so I would not for get it.

Good night Collar me.

I  enjoyed chatting with the night owl slaves and lady switches here tonight, Good night and thank you for your company.

 i recorded a bed time story  recording  for the slaves/subs that like to play at being babies and little children.  it didnt ecord the end of the book for me though.  sorry

rest less thoughts,

within a restless body.

within a restless mind.

Good night Collar me.

walking through my dreams,

here we go down, some memory gone past.

who knows how much time, can surpass.

on ward of these thoughts, falling through the years.

  we cannot shed any more tears,

tears of red, swollen. pus leaded. 

ties.  ties of rubbed, raw, blistered red, with not much thought.

lay me down, though here I to sleep.

pressured within.  walking my dreams,

unto my own heart.

will  i keep.

hmm what  i just wrote, boy  i usually do better than this??  oh  well.  i guess it will do for now.

good night Collar me.

nice chatting this morning, its amazing how many people ask silly questions though, when the answers or right there on my profile.  No I am not collared.  But I am owned. So I still have rules and restrictions over me  which I will and do obey! I also have a husband, No he is not the one I call Sir. Yes I am sassy. mouthy, and chatty.  I also babble alot about nothing.  

  What I can say is that even though,  i lean  more toward being submissive. i can say i am a grown woman and i know what  i like and dont like.

how about that?  there it is blunt, straight and honest! 

thanks  and have a wonderful day!!

TORNADO WARNINGS AND WATCHES ARE BEING ANNOUNCED THROUGH OUT GA. PLEASE TAKE APPROPRIATE COVER AND PROTECT  YOUR SELVES EVERY ONE!!

i have not written any thing in a while and this is what i came up with tonight.  I like it.  Please let me know what you think?

searching though my own mind of memories gone past.

walking down these halls of yesteryears

that do not last.

padding down stairs of screams down deep.

lessons learned under the whip or my own to keep.

pass me down, tie me hogged.

thrice around, now,  and i may be your dog.

 up we go, leashed upon my floor.

whose do say

if i may adore.

follow  me through , leashed tightly a bound.

 Good night my dear,  your  dreams or not unfound.

just  thinking

playing online games and catching  up on some chatting tonight.

what are you up too?

just thinking, 

thinking of walking down in the dark,

thinking of darker dreams to keep me apart.

apart from those that love me so.

apart from who may not know.

not know the dreams locked in my heart.

not know, the thoughts of my beating heart.

who am i to say, what may?

who am i to wake and pray thank yous each day.

maybe my dreams and thoughts will never be so.

regardless, of this. i am thinking of you. and

just wanted you to know.  

peace to all and good night.

Im watching some porn today and here are some videos that  i found.

http://video.xnxx.com/video579973/group_test_training_of_slaves

this next one i thought was kind of cool, but i couldn't hear what they were saying.

http://video.xnxx.com/video670396/master_puts_metal_clamps_on_pussy_lips_and_nipples_of_two_horny_slaves_tied_to_wall

this next one looked fun to me,

i  was watching the girl get  tickled and remember one time back in 2004,  i was at a person`s  house for some playing and i misbe haved. and since im am married,  i cannot let some one mark my skin up too bad, so this person  i disobeyed.  hog tied my ass and tickled me!!  i cursed him out too.  and i pissed on my slef and had to wash his floor.

  but it was good creative punish ment.

http://video.xnxx.com/video594578/hogtied_bondage_training_of_female_slaves_and_sadism-3

this  last  video  i want to share about  has Mark Davis in it and it is my favorite video,  of Dom/ Master/ slave videos  I have ever  seen,  there is no actaul big deal in it , i just love to listen to the way he talks to and guides some of the girls.  

http://video.xnxx.com/video655823/bound_and_hanged_brunette_spanked

http://video.xnxx.com/video668825/hanged_bound_blonde_gets_fingered

http://video.xnxx.com/video745777/bound_trinity_post_gets_flogged_and_stripped

I think  i  have posted enough.  i need to get back to task at hand.

Thank you for sharing.

i  will be away for the week end.  so  you may not see ,me log in here at all until Sunday evening. 

let me be me,

 fires asunder, fires of pain,

soul searching, findings, what have i gained?

lashes of red, pink Scarlet and blues,

blackened with night shadows of dew.

who holds me now, to thee be my red.

 boldly, throwing the lash over thy head.

 plunder me down, within thy, folds of deep.

ropes and lashes of dreams , while i sleep.

  let me be me, for whom,  may  i say.

my bed to die for has already been made.

more babble i know, thanks for sharing my  time with me, collar me.

Happy Valentines Day to Sir.  Happy Valentines Day to Collar me.

Thank you for the compliments on the video in my journal of me dancing and shaking my ass under that short skirt. I had alot of fun doing that video entree.  I will do another soon.

 I just have to have enough privacy for it to happen.

getting  off line for now, take care  collar me folks

im just wanting  to chat/talk today and hang out alitle bit.  hmmm.

i got talk with my friend hismanegirl  recently. she is a special one.

i made a new friend also of roseinblooms.  she looks like a beautie in her pictures.

here  i am again,  cannot sleep.  im not feeling well,  i did have fun shaking my butt in my vid i did here the other day. 

<sighs>  i need to write a story some time, beside all these yearning poems i have been posting. 

any suggestions or thoughts?

crack me down, lay me out

windows  of pain are what  it si about,

flood me within my pain soaking  mind.

might nver i be left behind.

mirror me now, and show no doubt. 

flooding within , i feel  my heart beating about.

throbbing to the beat of non ending pain.

bleed me again.  it has no gain.

THIS  ONE IF KIND OF OFF, BUT I FELT LIKE WRITING  IT SO  I DID.

enjoying  some  porn  for a littlle   while.

this   one  is kind of so/so

http://video.xnxx.com/video1810397/lesbian_bdsm_bdsm_bondage_slave_femdom_domination

the  next one is  better,it moves  kind of fast. but the girls  are well  quite tiny and quite beautiful. 

http://video.xnxx.com/video1830938/slut_is_tied_like_a_hog_immobilized

this  last  one  of a blond  in some hog tie  i enjoyed this one alot

http://video.xnxx.com/video1747232/sex_slave_tied_like_hog_and_immobilized

hot soup and herbal tea, warm blankets and some warm socks,   May  i please find some sleep,  from this long day. 

 Good Night Collar  Me

blending and blurring, mixed and mingled all  a gory, 

time to  bless, my soul with another untold truth of

a pass  time wished up story.  

(just me babbling is all)

come to me, my own,

as i come home,

walking the ways down  my mind,

through this endless,  cloudless divine,

hope of new, ropes of bad.

tearing papers.  of truth i had.

wish i fell, wish  i fall.

who`s to say  if i have a wish at all?

coming home, unto  my truth,

 blinding me  of chains, formed in.

no one can take my key, lockith, within.

binding me tight, holding my own.

welcome to me.

in my mind i am home.

Good Night to my self and Good Night to Collar me.

sing to me now.
what may have been
speak of me now, be there no end.
speak of thy foe, friend, near and far.
tell me of those, lying upon lashes and scars.
let be thy rod fall  true upon thy side.
speak of thy woes willowing inside.
seeking and learning still
of slumbers of deceit.
 Maketh me whole,
 finding me a cheat.
 Please
taketh me home back unto me.
Never for getting those whom I.
Hurt true unto thee.

o.xnxx.com/video1620433/slave_humiliation_bdsm_bondage_slave_femdom_domin

i like this video  i found, im not crazy about  the golden shower,  the girl gets, but i like her wearing  the blind fold, collar and leash.

hmmm who  knows what ,ay be next.

been  busy  these past few days.  i did get a job.  not saying where or what though. 

will  say  i have to travel quite a aways to get there.  so  i am gone all day these days.

 jut wanted to drop in and post and say hello,  so  hello Collar. me! 

bye for now, i have to head out to work.

3:45 am  and here i am again.  some night  i  rest  varely well  other nights hardly at all

oh   well  i do  and will  at least make  my self  lie down a few hours.

good night Collar me

well another day is here. what will  it bring?  what ifs, maybes  and should haves cannot undo past mistakes nor mend any of them. 

  i can  only keep my self learning, and do some thing with  my self.

  by for now

seek within me,

 a running stream,

find within me darken dreams,

dreams of the past,

dreams of the old.

 within my mind fantasies  seek to unfold.

lusting thoughts,

of a dark diluted heart.

hearts strumming a spatter and never to part.

come within me unto my mind.

it is quite chaotic.  i  warn  you.

it is never divine.

dark twist and turns,

confusion galore.

mind  shattering brain storms,

can  never be stored.

 who can say, what may be.

 look within me,

you never know what u may see.

my mind is confusion, of days gone on past.

my mind is my own,  sanction of vast.

Vast endless thoughts,  of blood , fire and spit.

heating away the heart`s  every beat.

 seek within me, never  to be yours.

fold unto my arms. for ever more.

forever more of this earth, dear with out my soul.

what  is it worth?

( THIS ONE IS WEIRD , BUT I WROTE IT, AND I  LIKE IT. )  TAKE CARE COLLAR ME.

how   i love  having some place that  i can write what is in side of me. once the words come they  just  flow and flow, some of my writings  hardly even make sense. but some of them  seem  quite beautiful to me once i get them  out. 

touch me not,

 vow to be whole,

 teach me not,

yet is untold.

 hold me to,

truths yet to be said.

  hear me now,

as we have yet to be lead.

 down this road drags whips 

and chains a gore.

 down sending a ravenous whore.

 whose to say, she is yet undone.

 regardless,  of the others loose ended tongue.

forks of truth,  words of fault. 

 withering along ropes, a tangle

with lustful boundless thoughts.

 touch me not, with thy hand.

 use in stead thee whip as I stand.

 curl  it high.  ring  it true.

 thriving around my skin,  red ,

markings  of black and blue.

 slithering within,  my unmarked soul.

 yearnings, i have yet to unfold.

  Streaking upon life`s unopened skin.

 dancing among the flesh, my friend.

  behold the beauty, of the lash.

 feel  within.  a soul searching clash.

lovers of skin, lovers of fate.

 stinging darkness, lovers of hate.

 cover me carefully blistered of true.

  within my own mind.

will i always hold you. 

   (sheez, i worked on this one along time tonight. Lord have mercy.  Im tired too, i hope i can sleep. i shall  try.)

walk with me.

down my mind.

what you may see is undefined.

who is me that is inside,

in side the recesses of my mind.

turns and twist and tunnels of unknown.

 what me may find, is yet untold.

  yearnings of love, lust, and yet  hate.

whose to say what  fate, may dictate.

  walk with me down this path of my own mind.

within me we go down darkly paths  of lost time.

Here i go yet again. 

How will  this end?..

why  it has  yet  to even begin. 

amazing  how many  lazy  dumbasses  just  do  not read profiles.

lord have mercy.

Good Day Collar me.

What  does this day hold for me.

 I shall  see.

here  are some nice scening videos  that  i found.

http://video.xnxx.com/video548221/sexy_lesbian_bdsm_play

http://video.xnxx.com/video783361/bdsm_blonde_its_really_hard

silly  me.  im cleaning  my home  hanging  out here.  playing with my dogs also, ( in a nonsexual manner)  

thinking also about  my up  coming  vocational training  classes. i hope they go well. im nervious and excited about  that.

enjoying  some privacy  while  i have it,

what are  you doing?

tick  tock  tick  tock  tick  tock.   the clock keeps going no matter what

 i a m thinking  of  placing a short  vid in my journal of me blistering  my own little white ass, making  it pink and white. 

its  4:am now,  i  should be sleeping  hmmm  i will  go back and lay down at least.

tc  Collar me. 

here  I am up again.  some one tell me to get  my ass in the bed!  hmm?

turn the  page

looking in the mirror,

watching what   i learn,

teaching to ask for help,  teaching to  reach beyond that comfort zone,

old days of old habits cannot be any more.

falling back only brings you down to the floor.

dusty dirty  filth  of  days gone by.

turning  the page,

WHO CARES ? IF IT MAKES U CRY.

grow up girly, this may be yet  your day?

chin up my dear one,  never too late to pray.

Turning these pages each and every day.

Never one to stay the same.

changes come on and bring with it the pain.

pain  of figuring out there is nothing to gain. 

moving on down and changing the scene.

who  is to say, what life may bring?

turn the page now, as i lay me down.

Good Night world.  its lost and  no wheres to be found.

enjoying the time to my self, while  i have it.

Celebrating the New Year Eve/ Night with my dogs sitting around a fire.

as for the perverts

  I love  my dogs in a nonsexual manner! Only.  

Happy New Year Collar Me.

here i stand all  in one,

take me now, it has been done.

down the lane, of  life`s long past.

hear me now,

this cannot last.

down this lane. 

of old and new. 

  shouldn't they know,

HELL  U CANT FILL THOSE SHOES.

 take me through your bloody tears.

carry  me through these useless years.

years of old,  years for the young.

Has life even begun?

 Here I stand, one to one. 

With  my own self some thing is be gun.   (just me)

come walk with me

come walk with me my dear,

come and walk down yesterdays  stairs.

down past  the tears and blood we  will  go.

 down through the darkness and tunnels, of old.

walk with me down tomorrows  path.

share within me  a passionate after math.

through  out the years of letting me be.

thought sayeth my heart to never see. 

walk with me once more

along  life`s endless shore.

weep  no more of my love, my dear

all those useless empty promises of tears.

take my hand and  let it be true.

walk with me, as we go  on through.

i  just wanted to  say,   i like some of the nicknames they use here in chat.   like   one called  unquietthoughts, isnt that  most  of our mind sets some times?  and there is one called shadowslider in there. 

  i like that one because it reminds me how  i feel some times when im writing and i just slide from thought to thought and from role to role.

i am going  2 lay back down,  it will be sunrise soon.

good night collar me.

thoughts  seem never ending, i sit here day after day pondering over should have beens and what ifs.

those are  no  good.

have to take time to  review the  mirror and say  here is what we shall  do today!

slithering  in and out of  the bondage and submissive life style kind of sucks. but when the vanilla world is part of your own flesh and blood family, then  you  must make due. hmmmm

thank you for sharing with me. 

just writing,  and always thinking about what  ifs, maybes  and i wishes

there is never ever any going back though, once you say  or do something, 

u cannot undo  it no matter  what. 

im going to bed now, Merry  Christmas and Good night

tangle me of love, 

searing my heart,  drowning my fears,

throwing my soul, down yesterdays  years,

hearing my voice, but no one to call,

yesterday`s love,  yesterdays  fall.

down so we go

tomorrow may we keep. 

today's love, and yet still  do you  seek?

another s ones past, to keep  and hold me safe.

no it wont last,

another moments hesitate.

bring me home, within loves fastened arms.

keep  me safe within,

the tangle of this love.

hold me close for it, never has been scorned.    

scorn me not, but please see me through

this  tangle of love speaks  only truth.

truth of the angels,

truth of the God.

letith be their love, sureth 

 tangled above.

MERRY  CHRISTMAS  COLLAR ME.  EVEN THOUGH  THERE ARE  MANY  WANNA  BE  FOLKS HERE. THIS  WEB SIGHT AND GOTTEN ME THROUGH SOME ROUGH AND ALSO FUN TIME OVER THE PAST FEW YEARS.  IT ALLOWS ME A PLACE TO VENT, BABBLE, OR JUST SIT AND THINK.  I HAVE GOTTEN SOME SWEET ONLINE FRIEND`S AS  WELL.

MERRY  CHRISTMAS  HISMANEGIRL!! 

my brain  just  goes  on and on

rain bows of thought,

thundering clouds

look out with holding out your doubts,

for ever know that love may seeketh you.

finding me now. and let it be through. 

through we are done, down for our knees

  bow thy head  lower for thou  to keepith him pleased.

I had a good day  out with  my dogs today even though  it was rainy.  I also  saw a picture here of three girls with thier  asses  up  in the air.  This made me wonder if I maybe should  take a picture  of my bitches,  ( my girl dogs that  is)  with thier asses in the air and post  it on  my profile?  hmm??   whatcha  think? 

giggles

LORD  HAVE MERCY, SOME PEOLPLE ARE  SO LAZY!!  ASKING  ME WHAT  DO YOU  SEEK? WHAT  DO U  SEEK?   DUH, DUMBASSES  IT IS RIGHT THERE IN MY PROFILE!  SHEEEZ!!

Thoughts  afire,

bleach my body, through my mind they reach,

never to know how it may keep.

 why to seek , why no rest

 did think, it would come to past?

  tell me no lies, for I see your deceit.

  One never knows, whom another  may keep.

 look up in to my  heart, as u check your own.

  broken hearts  sooner or later will  come home.

 bring it back so they may say. 

it never stops pulsing  this way.

desires of change,  quiet thoughts,  sought for rest.

 the mind will not give to that type of test.

 raging through,  fiery thoughts  have I.  Perhaps shall this thoughts seeking may Die?

no not knowing how many to keep.  Whose to say what my thoughts may next seek?

* some  of these writings  do may much sense to me, but some of them seem quiet beautiful to me.   so  i just write and let  the words  come *

 Yes  Sir,  I  do  not care  if any one thinks  i am answering  my own self or not.  I wil not ever change  my pass word.  i know if any thing dis pleases you, you will remove it.

I am watching you and hearing your words. Time heals all wounds...

MS

flowing from within, red heated, madden passion, churning within, lust built, up and spilling over in to seas  of  intensity  beyond me. 

  spoken, words of sorry, gult and sin.  i  will  work on this one  more a little later.  i am soo  angry  right now.  heat seething,  fury  heating my thoughts, mind and heart.

thoughts , dark, sinful and hate.  death, beyond others  dreams, to come and seeketh, me unto, fold me. within  my own mind.

  breath.  find calm.  no  one know me, as i do, my child, come unfold little one of mine own mind.  together, we know this  heart secret is  within, the soul , locked up  deep. 

 within my heart.  locked, sure tonight. 

im okay. things can always be worse.  the world is not grey.  

im done now and alittle  more calm.  but  not much.

within,  hold me, never u know, whom may fall,

pull me and bring me home, to your  heart  may we go?

within this locked, womb  of hearts  beating to never know, never the love of treasures the earth has to hold,  secured within your own. 

soul,  of hearts  sinning past,     lasting to you  arms  of night, may your past remain.

good night,  my  lusting, heart, maybe the river break  your down.

tonight the past around  may  never be found. 

this doesnt make any sense to me, and i wrote!  it, hmm.  i felt like writing  it out so there it is.  hmm  go figure,  guess im crazy A well  as a piece of crap.  go figure.  oh   well.

hate,

dark, seething, searching, hallowing you out and within your own self.

 can  u feel it?  growing?  spreading with wings of unknown.

 seeking within us as death unfolds.  uncurl your arms  and stretch your toes.

seeketh toward, the nightness. of the death of light. darkness within our morning of  flight.

forever within , let me hold you untold, for ever within my love, speaks  of no  more.

WOW WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?  ME HMM?  IM NOT GOING TO ERASE it either.  im going to leave  it,  ijust  felt like writing and that is what came out.  hmm.  weird hmm,  maybe  i can lay down  now,  i will  go try. 

i just  reread  it, and there has got to be a bit more.  im going to go try and rest for now though, so Good Night Collar  me

Lord have mercy  some of the folks here are  just PLAIN DUMB ASSES!! 

i do  like coming here for the chat  rooms, and i like to play the tick tack toe game. i like to journal here too and ilike talking to a friend of mine called hismanegirl. 

ijust dont wanna fuck up any more,  i have been in and out of this life style for several years.  so i know what the fuck  im suppose to do and what is expected.  as some of you switches and Doms  have seen , some of you i have answered , now and at least said hello.  i am not looking for any Doms though.  im still  not.  i may not ever! from my last screw up, and i  know hismanegirl will  not like me saying this, but i do not trust my self right now, to not let  some one else down!  some way.  so  better  for  me to lay in my own bed that  i have made then to drag  others in with me. no thank you to that.

thank you fo reading.  im going  to go play tick tack toe now.

perhaps this one begins to learn

S

maybe

walk it on.

skin 2 skin, thick  on thick.  choking love diving and twining. depth through depth with endless rope, tightening, searching. for future`s hope.

unknowing the mind`s turns and twist. some things cease to exist.

thickening shadows  of grey, black, and night, shine right through, your darken heart`s 

swarthy light.  

secrets within aheart.

 A secret of regret,  once betrayed,  though  you never for get.

11/30/2011   at 10:37 p,m

i know that no body will  probably read this, but i wanted to say.

look here you other Dominants and male switches.  i already fucked up with my Sir! Do you think? im stupid enough to seek another? sheez!  Yes I am a mouthy piece of shit!  But i can be. I am only answerable to God and  my own self for now! That is how it will remain!!

 Now if you happen to be switch lady! A woman, and u might like to meet. Then please do let me know. I will gladly eat your pussy , while you decorate my ass!  With your crop or paddle! Only those truly in to BDSM know a good spanking/ beating can help relax you.  Thank you for reading.

s

Happy Thanks Giving to Collar Me. 

i  know  i ned  to get  my ass in the bed,  i took  some Tylenol pm,  i just have some thoughts.    i am getting  good at keeping  my own self  company. here lately, 

i go for walks, i work with and talk to my dogs.  i sit bye the river and pray and think about things.  i also  go for long walks that  take me toward town so that  i can look for more work.  im still  not ready  to look in the mirror yet.  it will come though, it will come. 

well good night,

focus on,each day, place one foot in front of the other,  place your chin up, keep learning, 

 the days will  keep comingand going regardless,  so walk on, make a path.  just  tread through.  doesnt make sense hmm? 

thats okay. 

Good Night Collar me

day by  day, tick, by tick, hour  by hour, it all goes by,  the  only thing  you can actually rewind is rope, string, a music tape, movies,  and things like that.

have a nice day  Collar me.

the  days are ticking, bye.  proceeding onward, no matter what kind of wishing, no one can ever turn back the clock hands,  always on ward. learning yes. but never forgetting and never will for get  some things.

Wonder what im talking about?   so do  i. 

it is eye opening to also learn about  your self.  ( me that is, as my own self) 

  that  regardless who  says what. regardless who  points what finger, regardless how the world turns, or  what ever may  come.   i   do think,  (ME)   i do think and believe that  i do have a good heart!  but unforntunatly i also  have  strong lousy, human  nature.  Good heart, but sucky ass human being.  hmmm 

kind of  sucks , when the only one standing in the way of trust and loyalty is the one in the mirror  staring  back at you. 

i wanted to share  the writing that  i did tonight. 

here it is  i call it

   What  say  you?

 do you think it is okay to walk away?  do  you think you can say?  this all swell , things will  be fine. 

no you may not, it always comes  back on dime. 
souls touching out, piercing a heart, bleeding, beating and pound apart. bleed me fine,  bleed me thin.  who to say with such sin.

life hurts and love , oh my God! it is pain.  When u do not let you self trust enough to reach for help,  you loose every thing there was to gain. 
 

Walk back to the  mirror and look back in for you are not yet done my friend.  this  writing  does  not have its end. 

for now,  for the minute we will  lay this to rest. the night is proceeding and the soul inside, knows best,

 Yes we will  have to walk to the mirror and look back in , but for tonight this writing shall  have its end.

 HAPPY  THANKSGIVNG COLLAR ME FOLKS.  PLEASE  BE SAFE.

the spell check  here does  not work any more, and the typing is too freaking small  sheez

the day went  well

An  Anniversary  in my family today. I  have  to  prapare  the place where I  stay  for some celebration in the evening today.  I  will  see  how successful  I  can  be.  I  will   try.

when  you  find  some  thing  good ,  do not   mess it up. If   you  do  mess  it up. Things are  never and will  never  be the same.

i wrote  this back before  i started fucking up. i cant even follow my own fucking advice.  thats no good,  good heart but sucky worthless human.  i cannot take my own life, for this shit i have done. too many people would be hurt, and there is no telling what would happen to my dogs.

I  spent time with  my Master this evening. I  watched  him in session with a guest  he had.   I love  watching Master work the whip, paddles, crops, cuffs, and toys  on her. I like  watching  his  face and watching his arms  move and flex as he would move around her.  I love seeing my Master do something he enjoys. I like  for him to  be  happy. When my Master is happy  then I am content. I feel good and secured. When  he is not  happy. I  wish I  could split  my self in half one to stay with  him  to secure his happiness and the other half  would  go about my other parts  of life.  Any  way,
Master  just  looked really  good in session with his guest.  He  is  strong  beautiful Master.
There  was one time  tonight when he was holding  her to his  chest, was a beautiful embrace. Just  passionate  and beautiful.

I loved  watching get a hold of her hair.  and Run his hands over her body.
She came alive  when Master  was fucking her. My  God that woman  was just about  to buck him off.
I  got to eat  her pussy, She has sweet  tasting  beautiful  pussy lips, and its all sweet and creamy in side.

And  by  Master  being busy with his work and guests   he is able  do his scenes/ sessions  which  help  him relax and relieve stress. He  helps me  still be able  to see him with out revealing  that  to  my   family.

Thank you Master
love and hugs

Song Lyrics - Another Night

Another night another dream but always you
It's like a vision of love that seems to be true
Another night another dream but always you
In the night I dream of love so true

Just another night another vision of love
You feel joy you feel pain cuz nothing will be the same
Just another night is all that it takes
To understand the difference between lovers and fakes
So baby, I talk talk I talk to you
In the night, in your dream, of love so true
I talk talk, I talk to you,
In the night, in your dream, of love so true

In the night in my dreams I'm in love with you
  Because you talk to me like lovers do
I feel joy I feel pain 'cause it's still the same
When the night is gone I'll be alone

Another night another dream but always you
It's like a vision of love that seems to be true
Another night another dream but always you
In the night I dream of love so true

Just another night another dream another vision
Of love with me I'm here to set you free
I am your lover your brother hey sister let me cover
Your body with my love is with my lovin' just another
Vision of love that seems to be true
All we do all the things that only lovers do
Vision of love that seems to be true
All we do all the things that only lovers do

In the night in my dreams I'm in love with you
  Because you talk to me like lovers do
I feel joy I feel pain 'cause it's still the same
When the night is gone I'll be alone

Another night another dream but always you
It's like a vision of love that seems to be true
Another night another dream but always you
In the night I dream of love so true

I talk talk I talk to you
In the night in your dream, of love so true
I talk talk, I talk to you
In the night in your dream of love so true

In the night in my dreams I'm in love with you
  Because you talk to me like lovers do
I feel joy I feel pain 'ause it's still the same
When the night is gone I'll be alone

Another night another dream but always you
It's like a vision of love that seems to be true
Another night another dream but always you
In the night I dream of love so true

Have you ever...?

Have you ever knelt, naked, trembling, at your Master's feet....patiently waiting while he picks out the perfect flogger?

Have you ever crawled across the floor, crop between your lips, with that pleading look in your eye?

Have you ever felt that sharp sting, and then the wave of intense pain, that comes with a stroke of the cane?

Have you ever wondered if she can take just one more stroke, and felt the pride when she took 10?

Have you ever begged for more and more, knowing, but not caring that your body is covered with welts and bruises?

Have you ever stood over her as she looks up at you with tears in her eyes?

Have you ever gotten the giggles on stroke number 255....even though you are hurting?

Have you ever been bound, naked, in front of a room full of people, yet the only one you are aware of is your Dom?

Have you ever felt the rush of power that comes when someone willingly crawls across your lap to be punished?

Have you ever stood in the corner, skirt raised, panties down, tears running down your face from the humiliation?

Have you ever awakened the next morning unable to walk across the room without feeling the pain of the night before?

Have you ever wanted to hold her in your arms as she sobbed, yet left her huddled in the corner?

Have you ever trembled in fear and excitement when he pulls out *that* toy?

Have you ever felt the sadistic pleasure that comes from inflicting pain?

Have you ever spent the evening as a footstool....only there for the pleasure of your Master?

Have you ever bent over the counter at the toy store, the clerk holding your wrists, as your Dom picks out the paddle that he prefers?

Have you ever practiced with that new toy until your arm feels as if it is going to fall off?

Have you ever worn those little gold handcuff earrings to work?

Have you ever felt the over-whelming warmth from knowing that she is taking the pain just to please you?

Have you ever lifted the hair off the back of your neck without being told while your Master slipped on a collar?

Have you ever heard the scream of your muscles as you lie hog-tied on the bed?

Have you ever fought with the beast...knowing it was time to stop, yet wanting to hear her squeals for just a little longer?

Have you ever felt the sting of the crop on your inner thighs?

Have you ever presented your body for the single-tail, knowing that one mis-stroke could leave you lying on the floor, writhing in pain?

Have you ever pleaded for him to stop, knowing that nothing you say will will make him cease?

Have you ever ignored her pleas for mercy?

Have you ever felt the touch of the whip as it wraps around your body and caresses your breast?

Have you ever gasped, and then screamed, as the nipple clamps were slowly removed?

Have you ever felt her squirming and kicking as you apply the hair brush to her reddening flesh?

Have you ever loved, and hated, and feared, and needed all at the same time?

The slave

The slave is a higher gradient of submissiveness in D/s. A slave's primary purpose in life is to serve the needs and desires of the Master. The slave relinquishes all control to the Master, because the slave knows the Master has her well-being totally at heart. The slave is marked by her Master in some fashion to show ownership. This can be done with a tattoo, a piercing, or even a physical collar. The Master/slave relationship tends to be more of a lifetime commitment to each other than a typical Dom/sub relationship. The slave is held to a higher standard of conduct and compliance than a typical sub, due to the fact that the slave has given control of their life to the Master.

The role of the submissive appears to be somewhat simpler, but in actuality, the sub plays a large role in shaping the D/s relationship. The sub's primary role is to follow her Dom's directions and to please the Dom. Being submissive does not mean that the sub is a doormat for the Dom. The sub is the Dom's companion, his student, and his lover.

As a companion, the sub is treated with respect and dignity, is allowed to voice opinions, and allowed to share in the Dom's activities. This is the area where the sub is the most equal with the Dom.

As a student, the sub learns how to please the Dom, and when done, expects to be rewarded by the Dom. Likewise, when not done or done incorrectly, the sub expects to be corrected and shown the right way to act.

As a lover, the sub goes out of their way to please the Dom because they genuinely care for the well being of the Dom. The sub does this, not out of fear of pain or retribution, but because they wants to give the Dom pleasure. The sub does not want the Dom to be disappointed with them. The sub takes pleasure from the fact that the Dom is pleased.

   I found  these  articles on  http://www.aslavesheart.com/bdsma/begin.html