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Scawn

		Back		Interests



	I am a gentleman, and that thing you heard about them being just a patient wolf is absolutely true. Ideally, I would like a relationship built on trust, communication, openness, respect, empathy and orgasm control. I think intimate commitments beyond that are best discussed intimately. Outside of that, I am definitely looking to have fun and gain experience, and if all goes well, make some great new friends. I'm interested in women of any orientation that doesn't mind my interest, including Dominant women with a soft spot or that have use for a strong partner, Alpha subs who are strong-willed and assertive but have a deep need to kneel, and submissive women or slaves that long for power exchange. I have relationship experience with each of these, and understand their dynamics well enough to assert that I do. I am a writer and collaborator and have built many worlds. I am a student and life-long learner with a passion for the future. I am a philosopher, and I will be the first one to admit that I can be pretentious, but I will offer that I've had to make some pretty life-shattering choices that educate my investment in philosophy. I am a son and a brother and a friend. I'm looking for a lover, and I am very patient. The following, of course, just an internet test, but actually lists my order of interests quite well. Anything under 50% can pretty much be ignored, but might be interesting to see how we match up. == Results from bdsmtest.org == 100% Dominant To me, this means, "If you do not wish to do something I say, say 'no' and we'll talk about it. Otherwise, do it." If you call me Sir, you will have sent a very specific message. 100% Rigger Suspension is amazing and shibari is beautiful, but in general this means I want to take control at a very deep level. 95% Master/Mistress 93% Primal (Hunter) 88% Brat tamer 87% Owner 83% Sadist 80% Daddy/Mommy 69% Experimentalist 43% Voyeur 38% Degrader 34% Non-monogamist 33% Rope bunny 22% Switch 20% Ageplayer 15% Vanilla 14% Masochist 9% Exhibitionist 2% Degradee 2% Primal (Prey) 2% Pet 2% Submissive 1% Slave 1% Brat 0% Girl/Boy

This is a repost of my first entry, as I believe it should be viewed first and I don't plan on more posts for a good while.

This shall be a journal of my life as a dominant, rather than a journal of my life. That narrows the topic for me considerably, and goes much further toward my purposes on this site.

The first thing that you should know about me is that regardless of our relationship, you do not get me all to yourself. This does not preclude me from wanting you all to myself, and thus can only be fair if I state that upfront.

I am currently in at least three distant, committed relationships into which I pour my time, exertion and creative passion, and they have meaning to me beyond anything I am willing to sacrifice.

In the first, the other has told me that I am making her writing dreams come true. This is not something I intend to break off for any purpose, outside one of our own, and so it stays.

In another, I have asked her to don her collar for me, and that is something we both take seriously.

With the last of the three, unlike the other two, the other has more slots than I could ever fill, but I am committed to the art that we create together.

The critical factor is that they are distant. Because they do take up so much of my time and energy, I am extremely skeptical of forming any type of long-distance relationship here.

For anything more than a friendship, deep as it may be, I am looking for proximity. If we are not close enough to touch, say within 50 miles, I will need to see a plan to make that happen before I will entertain any notion of a relationship.

I think that's enough to be going on for a first post. I'm planning on making a post for each of the interests I've listed as "Live for It!" at the very least.

So concludes my series. As it shows up in reverse order on the profile, here is the list again at the end of it.

Lives For:
Local BDSM Community
Hypnosis
Massage (Giving)
Orgasm Control
Blogging (Expert)
Cryonics
Intellectual Discourse
Liberal Politics
Libertarian Politics
Nanotechnology
Philosophy
Writing (Expert)
Heavy Metal Music

If you've enjoyed it, let me know, that would be priceless.

If you would like a sample of the kind of things I picture doing in a scene, shoot me a message and I'll see if I've written anything that matches up with the interests listed on your profile. If I haven't, maybe it'll be inspirational!

Ah, this last is just fun! Heavy Metal Music baby. Turn it up loud and blast the world away.

Avenged Sevenfold, Children of Bodom, Disturbed, Celldweller, Bloodsimple, In This Moment, Motionless in White, the list goes on and on.

Avenged Sevenfold - Hail to the King
https://youtu.be/DelhLppPSxY

In This Moment - Adrenalize
https://youtu.be/dXMfdpjnAHU

NEW YEARS DAY - Angel Eyes
https://youtu.be/FHmSF-_6xlo

I like me some classical and some deep house and pop now and again, but I'll always like my music Heavy and Metal.

The Portland/Seattle area just happens to be excellent for live music and concerts!

There were only three things I listed an experience level for, and Writing was one of them. We can say this means I have a voice and I know how to use it, and I think that would justify my assertion, but there is more.

I have made an in-depth study of the creation of fiction and am engaged in the practice of writing it. Currently I am in ten collaborative projects, some of my own initial creation and some not, and am presently engaged in negotiations for starting a new one concurrently to the others. I am also pursuing multiple solo projects including a blog, novels, short fiction and poetry/lyrics.

I enjoy exploring the mechanics of the craft, and would be pleased to discuss the finer points of scenes and sequels, character development, and plot structure.

The most important thing about writing though, and in bdsm, is intention. What is your objective? What do you wish to bring into being? What feelings should your audience experience?

Beauty, joy, hot and steamy romance, dreams of the future, fantastic worlds and marvelous magic, meaning, truth, catharsis.

I'm not one of those yahoos that wants to capture the essence of his time, but I do love me some zombie trex wizard on necromancer action culminating in enormous explosions. Thank you Jim Butcher, Dresden Files, Dead Beat.

If you would be interested in viewing more of my writing, do shoot me a message and we can talk.

Philosophy.
I doubt therefore I think therefore I am.
Logic, reason, metaphysics, knowledge, belief, morals, truth; these are the domain of philosophy.

I particularly enjoy epistemology, metaphysics, ontology, and the philosophy of life.

I've made mention on my profile that I've had to make life-shattering decisions, and they fall under a few of the categories I've listed above.
What is real? What is true? What is goodness? How may I know it?
At the risk of resembling a pass-along pamphlet, these are questions I've had to struggle with, because they determined my standing, positive or negative, with regard to my family, my security, and my sense of well-being and personhood.

Eventually it came down to a matter of, "What must I believe in order to be capable of living a happy and content life, and what I must I leave behind?"

There was a lot I had to leave behind, and I did this more than once.

Goodness has come from my experience in that I have been able to use my experience and rigorous expertise to assist in the stabilizing of loved ones' state of mind. If there is one good thing about going through hell, its that you can go back in and help others out once you've found the way.

Nanotechnology.
Defined here as "Poorly understood, grossly underfunded technology based around molecular-scale machines which will solve numerous major human problems or destroy the world."

That's fairly succinct actually. I've made mention of these in my Cryonics post, and fair because nanotechnology is mentioned in the definition for Cryonics.

So what do they do?
Machines do work. Work can be done in the body, in the world, over a surface, in calculation, and by machine learning. Nanotechnology could be compared to being able to program a swarm of ants that can build or disassemble or monitor or manipulate matter and energy.

Maybe they could build a house. Or fix a gunshot wound. Or create a safe protection from hazardous materials on demand.

The thing is, they can do, and only do, what they are programmed to do. Just like any tool, they can be employed in any number of means with a variety of intentions. What can they do now, today? That would be fascinating to find out.

I'm going to go ahead and lump both of the politics that I listed into one, Liberal Politics and Libertarian Politics, as I may jokingly, or not, describe myself as a liberal, libertarian libertine.
What does that mean? I'm not certain what it would mean to each individual who has used those words, but here's what it means to me.

I believe the individual is sovereign over themselves. I believe that awareness of responsibility is the mark of sanity. I believe that society will progress far further together than as individuals. I believe that our experiences of life define what we see as normal, and that by no means would that imply that any normal is just as good as any other.

I wish to believe in truth. I believe when reality smacks you in the face its best to not stick your head in the sand and wait for it to kick you over onto your ass for not paying attention. I believe that individual freedoms are what define a person, and that they should be universal with respect to responsibility.

I believe that sometimes it is appropriate to question everything you've ever been taught, especially when you can see that those things may be causing demonstrable harm to your life and well-being.

I believe that I have the right to be me, and that I have right to decide who that is, and that this would be a beneficial common belief.

Am I a filthy liberal? I don't even know what that means, but on the night of the most recent election I saw educated, brilliant, creative people possessed of razor intellects and sharp rhetoric reduced to fearful, crying heaps and curling into fetal positions on the floor for fear for their lives, well-being, and that of their children.

I don't like certain aspects of politics, but if you tell me they are not important I will be forced to strenuously disagree.

Back to my series of posts I started a few days ago. Next up on the list is Intellectual Discourse.

I suppose it seems obvious that I should list this as "Live for it!" given what I've done so far, but there are still comments to be made.

I do in fact adore the process of interlocution, that is carrying on an interesting dialogue, and doing so in a respectful, kind, and supportive manner. Open-mindedness should go without saying, but it doesn't always, and that's just sad. Here it will, and you may expect it from me. Respect my values and receive that respect in return.

I've already gotten a few messages on here from individuals with valuable opinions that were different from mine, and have greatly enjoyed the opportunity to engage with them. I think a mark of intellect is being subject to one's own scrutiny and that of others where appropriate, and because of that I treat the ideas of others with the same legitimacy as I do my own.

Most often I find that a genuine exploration of a topic may reveal more common ground than may have been perceived at the outset, and those are the types of connections that I feel build community and offer zest to the experience of communication.

Much ado about nothing here, but alas, it is the nothings that mean all the somethings.

Cryonics.

This will be the last one for the night, because its almost 4am now and where in the world has the night gone?

I am a transhumanist. One of the things transhumanists work on is using technology and modern science to improve the quality, length and connectivity of vibrant life.

There are projects to stop aging, and they are making progress.

There are exponential growth patterns in the advancement of technology.

There are projections of computers the size of blood cells that flow through our bodies and keep us healthy, like a tech-assisted immune system and feedback loop regulator.

There are extremely impressive prosthetic and exterior limbs that move under direction from the brain that make walking up hill feel the same as walking down the sidewalk, that enable dancers to return to the floor and rock climbers to once again scale a mountain.

There is a transhumanistic usage for the term 'Singularity,' which they use to describe the time they predict that human kind will no longer die of old age.

They are beginning to grow meat and are making progress toward 3d printing proteins.

Science is pretty amazing and the patterns are showing great promise for our near future.

5th on the list of things "I Live for!" is Blogging (Expert).

I posit that I've rather made a blog of this journal, and if you've gotten to this one I must be doing something right.

Blogging is one of the things I've done extensive research about. Its a fascinating profession and I think it may suit me quite well. Its also creatively satisfying and incredibly cathartic if you've got the right audience.

I've got few projects in the works for a blog, and a great number of ideas. Many of those ideas would benefit greatly from first-hand experience in the activities at hand, say for a short story, and those experiences are ones I intend to pursue.

The way I see it, a blog can be used to capture the life and loves of an existence, and if it had been around in my grandmother's time, I think having had the opportunity would have done a lot to assuage the desire she had to write a memoir. She never did get to record her stories, so now the world will never know them.

I think she feared death at the end, and wanted to live on in writing. No one ever said that, and I have no real reason to point to, except for all the little things you pick up when someone goes through 8 years of dementia before your eyes.

Maybe she wasn't afraid of death, maybe she just wanted to remember.

Thank you grandma, for teaching me the value of writing.

I stated that I "live for" orgasm control. Kind of a funny sentence, all by itself.

Sending someone into their bliss is a reward all its own. The closer the proximity the better, and one could only hope to be swept up with them as they are carried away on tides of pleasure and tossed by throes of ecstasy.

Orgasms, sadly, are not always like that. But what if they could be? Those little suckers tend to build if held onto long enough, and with training and practice they can go on for hours at a time.

They have different flavors and textures and intensities and shapes and locations and rhythms and they turn a mind inside out with euphoria and excruciating delight. They can be roaring loud or softly whispered or quivered without a sound at all, and they can build off of one another, melding and blending together until fireworks are going off all through the instrument of decadence that is the human form.

But its about more than that. Its about control. Its about making your pleasure a gift. Its about letting the guiding hand, the ravishing mind, the slippery tongue and the impaling thrust drive pleasure into tribute and discipline into reward. It's about saying, "This is for you."

If your special someone said, "I'm going to edge myself every night for a week, and at the end of it I will come to you and give you what I've been saving up, holding it back until you're touching me and tell me to let it go," would they have your attention?

That's not all Orgasm Control is, not even by a long-shot, but this aspect of it is definitely interesting to me. Especially when your need to orgasm is far higher than my need to give you one; then my sadistic side gets to come out to play >=]

Next is Massage (Giving), and this actually reflects something I thought I might go into as a profession at one point.

I love feeling comfort and relaxation flow out from under my hands. For this same reason I am also interested in various forms of tantra and other meditative practices.

Used for pleasure, this takes on an even deeper level of enjoyment for me, and it is one that I would intend to indulge deeply in. Lana Del Ray said that "when someone else's happiness is your happiness that is love" and I think that captures beautifully the feeling I have toward using my hands to make another feel good.

I have some intuition with giving massage, as this body of mine likes to find new and interesting ways to let me know I'm alive, and so I have a good idea of what I would love for someone else to do to me, and in this case I think the golden rule has merit.

A good massage can melt time and stretch space. Your body is floating and you have a vague awareness out there somewhere that you have hands and feet, but everything in the middle is just an ocean of calm, peaceful, endless warm, and heavenly hands smoothing your flesh and resting your bones. Its wonderful. And so eminently shareable.

Second on the list of my, "Live for it!" interests is Hypnosis. There is a reason for this, and it is unique to me.

The first submissive I built a relationship with was a strong alpha woman, a literal princess in her tribe, and was 30 to my 18. She accepted a chastity restriction from me that allowed me to bring her to hours-long orgasms using only the sound of my voice telling her what I'd like to do to her.

I used the phrase 'final thrust,' and I heard her make sounds she does not remember making, and she had a very difficult time with the stairs immediately after when she went for water.

Was that hypnosis? Maybe.

She told me that she felt what I dictated happen to her body as if I were touching her, but that was not the case as she was across the world from me at the time. My words sculpted her reality.

I do not really credit myself for this feat. I think she was the marvelous one, and it was only our strong, mutual desire for one another that allowed such a thing to happen. It did, however, set a pretty high bar for any future Christmas present I ever receive. Probably for her too, now that I think about it.

She's happily married with kids now, and I couldn't be more pleased for her.

I am aware that hypnosis can be used in conjunction with orgasm control, and I find that to be a simply fascinating topic. I would be interested in dusting off that skill and refining it.

Given the language in my first post, Local BDSM Community seems like a great interest to start with.

Portland is probably one of the best cities in the nation to be so near to when it comes to BDSM communities. My memories of Night of Kink for the last Year of the Dragon yet live on and bring a smile to my face.

A great deal of my joy in life comes from community, and the sense of tribal belonging that comes from knowing you are among other individuals who are taking their sex lives, natures, and identities into their own hands, or placing them into the hands of a trusted other is one that I can't imagine being match by any other. Its empowering and liberating.

Or at least it feels like it should be. If its not, then maybe we're in the wrong place?

The community that I met those years ago held a wealth of information and resources dedicated to the Lifestyle, and was full of dedicated, warm, real people that were excited to come together and share themselves and who they were with one another. A few of them even went quite a ways out of their way to make my life easier, better, and more comfortable, and I wish I knew their names, but I remember what they did for me.

I'm excited to return to it, and am somewhat sorry I even ever left. I never stopped being who I am, but life does have a way of changing your plans. I'm glad mine has led me back here.