Collarspace.com

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Friends:
DreammuaddibMasterDMuaddibMaxxxRochefort

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No matter how many times I update my profile, CS deletes most of the punctuation I use. I promise I know how to write properly, so please dont call the grammar police on me. LOL

First things first...Im strictly sub (I dont switch) and straight as an arrow (sorry ladies) Im not skinny I can be very shy, at first I have a sarcastic sense of humor, and a dirty mind thats currently not being used to its full potential You wont find any pics of my vagina in my profile. LOL

Im looking for someone that would be interested in getting to know me first. Its a helluva concept for some but I cant for the life of me understand why anyone would want to engage in any sort of BDSM activities with someone they didnt know, but to each his own. I mesh best with someone that appreciates and enjoys the mental aspect of Ds and values how much it can enhance the physical side of things. I like a man that possesses a quiet strength, calm on the surface yet full of intensity beneath. In order for the Ds dynamic to work properly, a Dom should be in control of himself and most aspects of his life. A Dom cant expect to adequately control his sub if he cant effectively and consistently control himself. Respect, trust, honesty, communication, and loyalty are all things that make for a good foundation in any relationship, but these things are vital for any good Ds relationship. Im looking for someone that agrees with this idea, or at least some variation of it.

In my day-to-day life, Im a single, divorced, active mom who loves the mountains and the beach. I like all kinds of music and look forward to traveling and seeing new things when time permits. Camping, hiking, boating, photography, cooking, and gardening are all things that I enjoy. Im also interested in going to plays, musicals, and concerts. Ive been on the back of a motorcycle a time or two and enjoyed the heck out of that too. I prefer the warmer weather (minus the crazy, high humidity) but also appreciate a cozy cabin in the mountains on a snowy day just as well.

I came to realize that I was a submissive somewhere in my early 30s but it has been a long time since I was in a Ds relationship. The smartest thing I ever did was to do a fair amount of reading and research on BDSM as well as Ds and Ms relationships prior to meeting anyone. Of course I learned, as we all do, from each new experience that I had. I dont consider myself experienced nor do I consider myself a newbie. Im somewhere in between. Id also like to mention that I dont believe in any set way of doing things. I think each couple is different and should create their own unique brand of kinky that works for them.

Thanks to those that took the time to read this and remember, a mind fuck is a terrible thing to waste. Be safe and be well.

P.S. If, for some reason, you dont have a photo posted on here, please be ready to share one soon after communication with me begins. Thank you.

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2/23/2018 11:22:22 AM
Thanks again to everyone that has asked about my mom or wished her well! She seems to be getting better but doesn't like doing the herceptin treatments even though they're much shorter than the chemo treatments. I'm glad they'll be done in June. She's ready to have her port taken out, that's for sure. Meanwhile, the docs are talking about starting physical therapy in the Spring. She's pretty stubborn and doesn't like that idea, but she needs it. The chemo certainly took away from her mobility. We still don't know if she'll have to do radiation therapy but we'll know by next week. She doesn't want to do it...she's DONE. I can't say I blame her. Well...that's it for now on the cancer stuff. On a side note, I'm trying to catch up on answering my messages but if you sent me any, I wouldn't hold my breath. Just being honest. I'm sorry.

1/4/2018 7:53:54 PM
I want to thank everyone for all the encouraging messages and well wishes in reference to my mom. I tried to reply to as many of you as I could this evening. If I somehow missed responding to you I'm sorry, but please know that I appreciated your message all the same.

1/7/2017: I wanted to edit this to add that my mom's chemo is finished. Her herceptin treatments (which are a walk in the park compared to chemo) will continue until June. It remains to be seen whether she will have to go thru radiation therapy. For now, we are enjoying a much needed break.

10/15/2017 6:19:38 PM
I haven't been active on here for quite some time and that will likely continue for a while longer. My mom has been going through chemo so my attention has been (and will continue to be) focused on her. I'm able to chat on occasion, but won't be able to communicate on any kind of consistent basis. My head is not in the game right now, so I also won't be meeting anyone during this time. Take care everyone and have a wonderful week!

7/19/2017 8:07:23 PM
Is it just me, or is cs running butt-a$$ slow tonight?! Time to get rid of the gerbils (since they aren't running) and replace them with greyhounds. I can barely get a message to go through. Grrrrrr

10/29/2016 6:35:48 AM
So today's topic is "canned" messages. I'm still trying to decide how I feel about them. You know the ones...they send the same message over and over? The message is usually very nice and has a bit of substance to it, but it always makes me wonder if they're sending that same message to EVERYone. I know it's frustrating on here sometimes, so I can kinda understand the reasoning behind it but at the same time it doesn't exactly make me feel special either. Yeah...I definitely need to think some more about it. Currently, I don't answer people who send these types of messages but perhaps I need to reconsider. Maybe they've found a comfortable conversation-opener that works for them?? But, it's also important to realize how it looks when I have 3 or 4 of them in my message history. Yeah...it's looks a little crazy. LOL Ok folks, that's all for today. Until next time...

I hope everyone is having a wonderful weekend!

8/3/2016 8:02:10 AM
Okay collarspace....get it together. The server errors have been an issue for a couple of days now. Get those gerbils running!

7/20/2016 6:51:04 PM
Patience is a virtue, I suppose. I'm keying in on some advice that I read in someone's journal about keeping your message box as neat and organized as possible. I have a terrible habit of not deleting old messages. lol So, I'm going through and deleting as much as possible. Any messages that came from someone that no longer has an active profile (deleted or hidden)...folks that are overseas...folks that are way, way out of my age range...delete delete delete. I'm embarrassed to admit I found messages from last year in there! Yikes! Obviously it's time to take a fresh look at my mail controls too. ;-)

In other news, I will make my short, sarcastic rant for the day. Yes...I have a funny, sarcastic sense of humor, so everything I'm about to say is said with a big smile on my face, and not meant to be mean...just amusing, especially for those of you that have experienced the same thing. First, I wanna give a quick shout out to all the yahoos that send messages that contain questions that are answered in my profile. lol You guys win first prize today, and yes there is a special place in collarme hell for you. ;-) And yes, I said collarme, not collarspace. Been around too long and can't seem to break the habit of calling it by it's original name, and I'm okay with that. Anyway, I'm not sure how to handle someone who asks me questions that I've already (clearly) answered in my profile, but I have a few ideas. No answer at all? Because I know if I politely point out that the answer is in my profile then I'll be labeled a bitch, right? All hail the mighty Dom who messages me but never even looked at my profile...more like all fail! lol Epic fail! My second and last show-n-tell story of the day is that someone told me I looked like a kid today...not sure how to take that...I'm 44, and this body has given birth to six little human beings. Thank you??! Hahaha (Yeah, he wins a prize for honorable mention, as I'm sure he meant nothing by it.) So...short rant over. Until next time, be safe and be well.



6/26/2015 7:28:38 AM
So, I thought I'd share some mild humor today. Well...I thought it was funny but then again, I have a rather sarcastic sense of humor. ;-) I haven't been very active on this site over the past few months and therefore haven't replied to very many of my messages. I deleted a bunch of them today, for various reasons, and had some pretty good laughs while doing it. There are those that want to see me bald. (I can't even imagine.) Some just want to say hi and nothing else. Yeah...lots of 1-5 word messages. Those with blank profiles, deleted profiles, hidden profiles...oh my. LOL Some think I should get on my knees and worship various parts of their body. (Yeah...not happening.) Others think they can demand that I respond to their message. (Oh yeah?) A few think it's appropriate to address me by various lewd names. (Complete turnoff!) Some are married. (I don't do married. I'm single and will only consider others that are single as well.) I'm straight but I still get plenty of mail from women propositioning me. I clearly identify myself as submissive in my profile but I still get messages from submissive men telling me they want to worship me. As a fellow sub, I'm certain they KNOW how much that goes against the grain of my entire inner being! Messages from the younger men are always quickly discarded. I'm a lot of things but a cougar is not one of them! Hahaha! Ha! This site can be rather crazy and wonky at times but also fun(ny). Needless to say, I set up some new message filters today. Hopefully it helps weed out all the crazy. Anyway...I wish everyone all the best in their journey to find someone that is a good fit for them! And...thank God it's Friday!

4/4/2015 3:44:46 PM
Well...the thought-provoking journal entry that I mentioned in my previous post today is coming sooner than later.

How does one expect to be taken seriously if they haven't even viewed my full profile? You have no idea what I'm looking for so why send a message claiming to be interested? Interested in what? My pics and the first part of my profile? Just my pics?? Surely we won't be going anywhere on looks alone guys. There's a lot more to it than that. A LOT more. *shakes head* You want to know if I'm interested in sucking your what? Do you kiss your mother with that mouth? Last time I checked, a hello and a simple introduction comes WAY before that. I'm not sucking anybody's anything unless there's a brain and a heart attached to it somewhere...and some manners. Non-gentlemen need not apply. Seriously...lol I'm not mad or upset but I do find some of this stuff rather amusing, crazy in fact. Just because we're on a BDSM dating site doesn't mean you throw ALL your morals and values right out the window. Ok...maybe you can throw a few out after getting to know someone (lmao) but geez...give it some time.  

4/4/2015 3:23:17 PM
I want to wish everyone in advance a very Happy Easter. My Easter Sunday will be spent cooking delicious food and spending time with family.

The past several weeks have been pretty crazy and very busy for me. I received several messages inquiring as to why I hid my profile about 2 1/2 weeks ago. Well, life happens sometimes...that, and I was suffering from some fairly brutal migraines. I went on a little hiatus from this site because it was needed. I decided to come back much sooner than I had planned because I'd like to make it a little easier for some of my acquaintances on here to communicate with me. It's always nice to have a few online friends to discuss the kinky side of life with. My vanilla friends might not approve of such things! LOL!

I will try to write something a bit more thought-provoking when I have time. ;-) I hope everyone has been enjoying their weekend so far. Be safe and be well.

~dreams

3/13/2015 4:26:34 PM
Have you ever gotten drunk on the sound of a voice? There are some voices in this world that I could drink in and listen to all night long. A voice that you find so attractive that it both arouses you and conjures up fear at the same time. That. Voice. Some of these audio messages on here are off the hook and make me feel like I need to be hung ON a hook. lol

3/13/2015 2:58:53 PM
Is it more like a Freaky Friday since it's Friday the 13th?! I'm not really the superstitious type but I'm sure plenty of folks are. Frankly, I'm just glad Friday is finally here. lol Of course, there is no shortage of craziness on here. I really don't understand the point of the messages that I receive that TELL me to do something specific. I think it's pretty disrespectful. Seriously...why in the world would I take orders from a complete stranger? I just have to laugh and shake my head. I do wonder though...how many subs open those same type of emails and actually DO what they are being told to do??

I did have one message of a different nature that deserves an honorable mention. I received a short note from another female saying that I'd look adorable bald. I'm not sure exactly how to take that but for now, I'll take it as a compliment. If someone actually believes that I'd still look good with no hair, then they most certainly have to find my face as well as the shape of my head extremely pleasing. ;-)

I've been feeling pretty playful and flip lately so I just might journal again later this evening, just for shits and giggles. I hope everyone has a nice weekend. As for me, tonight it will be a microwave meal, some music (while I tidy up and reorganize), and then maybe a movie. (Yes, I know how boring it sounds. Duty calls, responsibility answers.) Friends and intelligent communication are always welcome so feel free to send me a message. It might liven up my otherwise dull evening. I wish you all a safe and enjoyable weekend.

3/11/2015 7:27:22 PM
Today was a good day. In fact, it's been a great week. I feel very positive and wonderful in a way that words can't properly convey.

I felt closure a few days ago, after going to court for the very last time to settle my affairs with my ex-boyfriend. Now more than ever, I see many of my concerns being lifted away as my new life takes even better form. For the past week or so, I've been reflecting back on the past six months and that caused me to revisit one of my journal entries here on cm:

10-23-2014: Starting all over again is both an exciting and somewhat stressful time in one's life. I recently took the difficult leap of faith and ended my vanilla relationship. Yes, I had finally decided that enough was enough. I certainly won't miss the verbal, mental, emotional, and physical abuse. I bid farewell to the lying, cheating, and control-freakiness. It feels good to be free. Peace is invaluable. I'm looking forward to watching this new chapter of my life unfold. I feel incredibly hopeful.

I made that journal entry just three days after I left one of the worst relationships I've ever been in. I've learned so much since that day and as a result, I've grown as a person. I've changed and the change is good. I feel relaxed, calm, grounded, and more importantly, I feel a rapidly increasing sense of returning to normalcy. The new chapter of my life is, in fact, unfolding beautifully. It hasn't been perfect but the imperfection itself is beautiful, as least to me it is. While it's true that I have spent a fair amount of time alone, I also know that the time alone prepared me for making better choices.

"Until you get comfortable with being alone, you will never know if you are choosing someone out of love or loneliness."~Mandy Hale

For the longest time, I felt dead inside but as the last bit of sadness fades into oblivion and the happiness moves in and takes over, I've felt my body starting to come alive again. I've been thinking a lot about being flogged lately. The more I think about it, the more I miss it. The more I miss it, the more I want it. The more I want it, the more I need it. Margaret Atwood said, "To want is to have a weakness." She was right.

Be safe, be well, and thanks for reading. I hope everyone had a nice Wednesday. Here's the question of the evening: Is it really a hump day or the middle of the weekend valley?

2/14/2015 4:11:27 PM
Happy Valentine's Day everyone! I hope everyone is staying warm this evening. Have a great weekend!

2/13/2015 2:43:05 PM
I hope this journal entry finds everyone happy and healthy.

I have wanted to throw down some words for quite a while but haven't had the time. First and foremost, my children and I have been doing great. Thank you to those of you who asked. We're all very happy, safe and secure. A few of you here on cm have xpressed interest in what happened with me. As many of you already know, I've been on this site for several years but haven't been active for the majority of that time. Yes, I suddenly became active on this site again because I ended the vanilla relationship that I was involved in. He was verbally, mentally, and sometimes physically abusive, so in October of last year, I was finally able to get me and my kids out of there. I've experienced a lot of growth as a person and immeasurable freedom and happiness in the months that have followed.

I often receive messages asking if I've met anyone from this site. I guess I should say, "No, not this time around." LOL Over the past few months, I have spent a lot of time and effort communicating with various individuals from this site, but have been frustrated when some of them stopped communicating with me cold turkey. Anyone that has communicated with me in depth knows that I prefer to focus my attention on one person at a time, which only serves to further raise my frustration level when that type of stuff happens. Of course, I'm fully aware that if someone is truly interested, they will most certainly be consistent. The old me might have made excuses for this type of behavior and may have even tried to continue communication. The new me simply hits delete.

I feel very positive about the potential of meeting and finding a good Dom for me but I'm in no rush. I prefer to take my time when looking for a Dom and frankly, if a potential Dom is trying to rush me, it's a red flag. I decided to make a few changes to my profile today, more for filtering purposes, to help me in my search. I really don't want to waste my time (or anyone else's time) messaging with someone that doesn't want a sub who has children. If someone views my children as problems and obstacles or simply doesn't want a sub with children, then they're not for me. It's as simple as that. I'm working on getting to know someone in particular right now and so far, so good. I've learned that things could change in an instant but only time will tell.

Thank you to everyone that has sent me advice and positive, inspirational messages about my last relationship. I've also enjoyed reconnecting with old acquaintances as well as making some new ones. I love discussing D/s and M/s relationships and BDSM as a whole and welcome intelligent communication anytime. Be safe and be well.

1/6/2015 7:44:18 PM
Just a quick note to say that I hope everyone had a nice Christmas and a wonderful New Year's holiday. My children and I had the best Christmas ever and I can't fully express in words just how thankful I am for that. I'm looking forward to all the good things that 2015 has to offer. :-) 

11/29/2014 7:53:52 PM
Great quote: "I think as you grow older your Christmas list gets shorter because the things you want can't be bought."

It really hit me hard and got me thinking when I read this quote. It's good food for thought as we journey into another beautiful Christmas season.

11/27/2014 10:13:16 PM
I might be a little late posting this but I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving Day. My day was filled with family, friends, and laughter. I am thankful for so many things and I feel like my life is once again headed in the right direction. For those of you brave enough to venture out for those Black Friday deals, I wish you all the best of luck! LOL

10/29/2014 8:59:30 PM
Someone asked me what I was into last night. I told him the following: "I like bondage. A little pain is ok too, quite lovely actually. Spanking...I miss being spanked. Honestly, I was in a vanilla relationship for so long that I had to stop and really think before I answered you. I miss the feel of cuffs on my wrists and ankles...the smell of leather...the tug of a rope. *sighs* I might have to write some of this in my cm journal it sounds so dreamy."

Then, in another message, I told him, "Let's add the sting of the crop and the slap of a flogger to my list. I miss those things too."

It really has been a long time since my mind was open to allowing myself to feel those feelings again. Just thinking about it made me feel alive again, all over. And...I liked it. It's nice to be able to breathe again as I felt incredibly stifled in my last relationship. I wasn't able to be myself.

Here's a random thought: I like it when a man licks and sucks on my toes. I always liked that. It tickles and it turns me on, all at once. My feet are in sad shape though. I really need to do something about that and paint my toe nails while I'm at it. Time for some much needed pampering for Mama Bear. Cheers to Hump Day and all that comes with it.

10/22/2014 10:54:59 PM
Starting all over again is both an exciting and somewhat stressful time in one's life. I recently took the difficult leap of faith and ended my vanilla relationship. Yes, I had finally decided that enough was enough. I certainly won't miss the verbal, mental, emotional, and physical abuse. I bid farewell to the lying, cheating, and control-freakiness. It feels good to be free. Peace is invaluable. I'm looking forward to watching this new chapter of my life unfold. I feel incredibly hopeful.

3/18/2014 12:11:55 PM

There are a few things I wish I could write directly in my profile but it would be inappropriate, for obvious reasons. Who knows? Maybe this journal entry will be viewed as wrong too. What I want to say is that I have several children and that is a huge factor in each and every one of my life decisions. Quite some time ago, when I was actively looking for a Dom, I could eliminate almost 98% of all the men that sent me messages simply because I have a large family. These men simply weren't looking for someone with so many responsibilities. Eventually, I finally made a decision to give my current relationship one last try, for the sake of our children. The relationship is strictly vanilla, which further complicates things. Sadly, he is fully aware of what I am and what I prefer but he has a very negative opinion of anyone in the lifestyle.

Having said that, I still like to check in here from time to time, to read the boards and such. Despite the change in my profile, I'm still getting lots of offers in my mailbox. That tells me that the men sending the messages either haven't read my profile from start to finish or did read it and don't acknowledge that I'm no longer looking for a Dominant. I like chatting with others who are in the lifestyle but that's all I can do. I'm grateful for the few that I've kept in touch with over the years. It's helped to keep me sane. :-) Be safe, be well, and thanks for reading.


1/15/2013 9:08:39 AM
This post is just a tad bit late y'all so bear with me. LOL Anyway...goodbye 2012 (I hope the door hits ya where the good lord split ya!) and hello 2013! New Year. New me. New life. Time to make some much needed changes or rather continue to implement changes, changes that I put into motion in 2012. Change can be hard but change can also be good. I plan to continue to clear my "plate" off a little at a time and learn to relax! I miss being in a D/s relationship so much but I'm glad I took some time for me (and my children) to just breathe after I ended my last relationship (which was strictly vanilla) back in February of 2012. The subsequent move was hard but in the end it was certainly for the best. I'm really hopeful and excited about all the wonderful things to come in 2013. I hope everyone's new year got off to a great start. Be safe and be well. P.S. Good grief, it's been a while since I posted anything in my journal and that's putting it mildly. I wish I had something more exciting and kinky to post than this but frankly it's been a really long time since I've even talked to anyone about the lifestyle let alone lived it. Perhaps I'll become inspired at a later date to write something a little more...uh...interesting. ;-) Right now I'm just dusting the cobwebs off my once creative and dirty-minded brain and dipping my feet in the water. Just looking for friends right now...

1/22/2011 8:09:51 PM

Greetings everyone:) Long time no see! I apologize to everyone that sent me messages and didn't get a response back. I sincerely want to thank those of you who sent well wishes and kind words for me and my sweet baby girl. My children and I are all doing well considering the current circumstances (which I won't get into here). I am still interested in communicating/corresponding about the lifestyle and/or life in general if anyone is interested. Of course that would be with the full understanding that it would not develop into anything more than friendship. If/when I get the chance, I will post a more current photo. I have put on some weight (because of the pregnancy) and I got my hair cut rather short, a cute bob style actually. It was time for a change. It is already starting to grow out. Thank goodness my hair grows fast! I am somewhat regretting my decision to cut it. Before I forget, I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas, a joyous New Year, and is in good health. I have missed corresponding with some of you. I wish I had more time for CM but I continue to be super busy with my children.


4/25/2010 8:54:08 PM

I'll be going back to work soon. My maternity leave is almost over...sad but true. I have a lot of catching up to do with my e-mail on cm. I've received so many wonderful messages, congratulating me on my little angel and wishing me/us well. Again, thank you everyone for all the great e-mails! :) 


3/22/2010 9:56:22 PM
Thank you everyone for all the well wishes and wonderful messages. Mommy and her new baby girl are both doing well:)

3/8/2010 1:38:38 AM
My precious baby girl was born on Tuesday, March 2, 2010 at 2:51pm. She weighed 8 lbs. 12.9 oz. and was 20.5 inches long.

2/26/2010 9:55:24 PM
Still no baby. I'm scheduled to be induced on Tuesday.

2/14/2010 6:01:00 AM
Happy Valentines Day everyone;-) One more week until my due date. Woohoo!

11/26/2009 6:01:05 AM

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!


5/24/2009 3:11:18 AM

I hope everyone is having a great Memorial Day weekend! I took a "leave of absense" from CM after Christmas;-) In fact, I've been taking a lot of "breaks" for the last year or so, most of which is explained in my previous journal entries. I wanted to add that I prefer to meet someone who either lives in the local area (DC, MD, VA) or is willing to relocate. I can't relocate at this time because of my children. The picture on my profile is from August 2008. I KNOW I need to update my photo. *big guilty grin* I used to update my pics monthly but I've been too busy to keep up with that. I plan to post new photos as soon as time permits. My hair is a teeny bit longer. Other than that, I haven't changed much. Be safe and be well. I'll write more later... 


12/12/2008 2:50:59 AM
A submissive in my local area has copied my profile:( I sent her a message this morning with the most kindest request possible to please change the wording of her profile. I offered my hand in friendship as well. *sighs* I hope it turns out ok. I prefer to go the "nice" route first. Anyone else have issues like this??

11/29/2008 6:34:04 PM
I know this is a little late but I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday. I wish you all the best.

8/4/2008 4:12:19 PM

Hello everyone;-) I continue to receive some of the nicest "welcome back" messages. You are all so sweet. I promised some time back I would journal about what I've been up to the past few months. Well, somehow I found myself in a relationship with a man who wasn't in the lifestyle. I never thought I would date anyone outside the lifestyle but guess what? Never say never! To make a long story short, it didn't work out too well. I probably shouldn't be too surprised by the outcome. Anyway...I'm going to remove the "not looking" line from my profile this evening although I don't think many took the time to even read those first few lines anyway. I was continuously getting "looking for a sub" messages. I had to check those Doms off the proverbial list almost immediately because they either chose not to read my profile, weren't capable of reading it, or read it and outright didn't respect my wishes. None of those things are good:( Even though I'm looking again, I'm in no big hurry to find a Dom. The right one will come along when the time is right. I will write more later. I hope everyone had a great weekend.    


7/15/2008 5:25:05 AM
Just a quick note...I'm a little short on time and I haven't been able to answer many of my e-mails. Please just bear with me. I'm playing "catch up" right now;-) Did anyone catch the line at the beginning of my profile where I said I was not looking for a Dom right now?? I know, I know...my horns are showing again...me and my sarcastic comments are gonna get me into trouble one day:)  

7/12/2008 2:06:55 PM
Greetings everyone. It's been about three months since I've been active on this site and I'm glad to be back. I want to thank everyone for all the "welcome back" messages. How sweet;-) I'm planning to post new pics as soon as I have the time. Anyone that knows me is very aware that I like to update my photos at least once a month. It keeps things fresh:) I will be journaling more about what I've been up to the past three months as soon as I better collect my thoughts. Anyway...take care everyone and enjoy your weekend. 

4/20/2008 9:07:35 PM
Wow, it's been a while since I've journaled. I want to say up front that I'm seriously behind on answering e-mails:( I've been receiving some very interesting messages lately. I've just been too busy to give them the response they truly deserve. As my work is seasonal, things have been pretty hectic at the office. The warmer weather has affected my "at home" time as well. My kids want to go outside to play almost every evening after I arrive home from work. They think I throw a pretty mean football. I guess I'm okay...but we all agree I look pretty silly riding their (much too small for me) bicycles. LOL

I'd also like to mention that I'm no longer dating or seeing anyone. I'll be starting my search (once again) when I feel the time is right. In the meantime, I plan to make an attempt at catching up on some of my e-mail's. Hopefully I'll make a few new friends in the process. I also want to post some fresh pics sometime during the next few weeks. The pics I have up now were only taken a few months ago but I did get a new hair cut this weekend. I'll probably have some highlights put in later this week. I reckon I'll be a new woman before ya know it;-) On second thought, only a vacation would do that. *smiles* 

Take care everyone.   

3/29/2008 6:40:38 PM
Hello again everyone. I received a few messages recently that I decided to write about here in my journal. One of my Dom friends sent me an e-mail making mention of how often he sees me logged onto collarme, despite the fact that I have had a "taking a break" message on my profile for quite some time now. He thought it might give the wrong impression or something. I freely admit that I still log in quite frequently. It's my prerogative to do so. I'm very interested in making new friends on here as well as keeping in touch with the ones I already have. I also enjoy reading the message boards quite a bit. Finding a Dom/Master is only one of the reasons I joined this site. Having said that, I will continue to be very active on CM, despite the impression it may give others:) Another gentleman sent me a message asking why I was taking a break when it seems that I am very clear about what I am seeking. I basically told him that I had multiple reasons for my "vacation". (As a matter of fact, I addressed some of those reasons in my 3-3-08 journal entry) I originally posted the "break" message because I had met someone from CM and we were dating and getting to know each other. At this point in time, I'm not sure where things will lead between the two of us. If things don't work out, it's not likely that I will start looking again right away. There are some things in my life that I'd like to get in order before I meet anyone else. On a side note, my "break" message hasn't really deterred anyone from approaching me for a possible relationship. I am seriously thinking about taking it off of my profile altogether since it's not serving the purpose I had originally intended in the first place. I'm still receiving the same amount of messages that I received before. For inquiring minds that want to know, the bottom line is this...I am dating someone but there is no power exchange between us as of yet. Obviously, I am not owned and/or collared. That's enough about that...    

On a separate subject, I'm interested in getting an opinion about something from the Doms who happen to come across this journal entry, specifically those of you who actually date your sub and take the time to get to know her first. I'm curious to know how long you generally wait before you begin to take control of a sub (given that things are progressing well). I know that every D/s relationship is different and that it's not realistic for me to ask anyone to indicate a specific amount of time that would fit every situation. Again, I'm merely trying to get a general idea. Feel free to drop me a few lines and let me know what your experience has been with this. Thanx a bunch:)

Take care. Be safe. Be well.

UPDATE: Thank you for all the wonderful responses to my question:) It's greatly appreciated.

3/2/2008 8:08:46 PM
Greetings everyone. I haven't posted anything for about a week now. I've just been so busy. I had this storage unit that was costing me an arm and a leg and I've been working very hard to get rid of it. I finally got the doggone thing emptied out a few days ago:) The only bad part is that my living room and kitchen is a mess, a maze of boxes. I ran out of room in the basement:( It's too bad I can't use the old "I just moved in" line whenever I have company over. LOL I'm trying to look at the bright side. At least I don't have to pay for the storage unit anymore:)

I've received a few e-mails from people that make mention of me giving up on the lifestyle. I haven't given up. I'm just taking a little "breather". I knew I'd be getting some messages about my "taking a break" update at the beginning of my profile but I never thought anyone would perceive that as me giving up. I'm just tired...mentally and physically. I've got an awful lot going on in my life right now and it's pretty tough trying to balance personal stuff with all these other things. I'm still trying to find a new job too. I think I might have mentioned in an earlier journal entry that my hours got cut back at my job. I do secretarial work for a landscaping company. Since the job is seasonal, my hours get cut back every Winter, although this year was the worst I've ever been cut. I'm only working 2 days a week now:( I guess I can use all the extra time during the week to clean up this mess of boxes! LMAO

2/24/2008 6:11:46 AM

Good morning everyone. I decided to lay down a few thoughts this morning. I've been getting an awful lot of "friend" invites. Unfortunately, I've been deleting them without even looking at them. You can't be my so-called "friend" if I don't even know who you are. I think it's a little more prudent to at least send an e-mail first to introduce yourself. I'm not here to be a "friend" collector. I'm here to find a Dom. My sub friend said it best last night when she said, "This ain't myspace!" She's right. I want to make friends but I don't want to build up my friends list just for the sake of making it look like I have a lot. This isn't a popularity contest. I have a few sub friends and Dom friends on my list. Occasionally I will send an invite to a Dom that I'm already in communication with, particularly if I'm interested in him. The last one I sent got flat out deleted without being read because he had similar concerns to mine...the whole "friend collector" thing. I suppose if he would have looked at my rather small friends list, he would have known better. The only reason I sent him an invite was because I was interested in him. Oh well, such is life. *sighs*

There are a few Doms that have sent me e-mails that I'm interested in. I'm hesitant to reply to any of them though. I've said this before in my journal...I prefer to only speak to (or get to know) 1 or 2 Doms at a time, sometimes 3 if I'm feeling frisky. It's not fair to me (or anyone else) if I'm talking to a dozen at a time. Kinda sounds like a carton of eggs, eh? Who in the hell wants to feel like just another "egg" in the box?! I like to keep drama to a minimum and hold my focus where it belongs. There's no need to spread myself that thin. Obviously, I'm at my limit right now.

I finally got around to sorting through all my e-mail, yet again. I wonder if anyone realizes how overwhelming it is. I started out with 51 pages of messages. There's 20 messages per page...do the math...I just about pulled my hair out. It took me hours to get through all of them. I'm down to 8 pages now, only to realize that there are 14 more in my bulk folder. It seems I can't win for losing. From time to time, I receive messages from switches. It's hard for me to imagine submitting to a man who desires to submit as well. I suppose it's a psychological thing for me. I don't switch and I don't want to "dom" anyone. My place is on my knees at my Master's feet. I know some switches might find this offensive. A few have even said that they don't expect me to "dom" them. That's not the issue. Just knowing that you're capable of submitting, it affects me in some way. I have a male switch friend and he both understands and respects my feelings on this topic. I hope everyone else will understand too. I gotta be me. I get e-mails from women too, saying they want to "play" with me. I don't see myself having an experience with a woman on my own. I would rather be under the direction of my Dom to explore that sort of thing. I'm mainly interested in men, however, I do consider myself to be bicurious. Gosh, I even got an e-mail from a male sub claiming that he wanted to dominate me. What's wrong with this picture folks? Also, I'm only seeking "straight" men. If your "sword" swings both ways, you might not be the one for me. I want a man whose main interest is in women. I'd hate to find myself in a position where I'm competing against other men for the attention of my Dom. I don't have a "sword" and I sure as hell don't want to feel like I have to strap one on just to be in the running with all the other "swords". And just for the record, I have no interest in poly. Don't bother to contact me if you're even slighty interested in that. I've been contacted by a few men practicing the Gorean lifestyle as well. I simply have no interest in it. I believe that everyone's "kink" is interesting and I respect it, however, I have a pretty good idea of what will (or won't) work for me.

On a final note...I truly don't have time to answer all my messages. It's not even a remote possibility at this point. I'm sorry if this offends anyone. I used to try to answer them all but I just can't do it anymore. It's not realistic. Spending all those hours sorting through e-mail last week really opened my eyes. I'm going to make an effort to keep up with my e-mail from now on but I've made a personal decision not to reply to all of it. Take care everyone and enjoy what's left of your weekend:)       


2/18/2008 7:23:55 AM
Gentlemen,

Let me be clear. I have no desire to chat with an "invisible" man. I want to know what you look like before we progress to talking. It's in everyone's best interest. There should be some chemistry to start with, dontcha think?? I don't want to waste your time (or mine). I'm at a disadvantage because I have pics on my profile and so many of you don't. I completely understand that some of you can't post photos for privacy reasons. I am more than willing to provide an e-mail address if you'd prefer to send a pic outside of Collarme. I am not able to receive files or do a photo share on Yahoo so please don't suggest it. Yahoo drives me crazy. It doesn't always work the way it's supposed to. Great for IMing...not so great for photo swapping. Take care everyone. Happy Monday. (Not!) 

2/15/2008 10:20:11 AM
It is simply amazing to me how many so called Doms want to talk about nothing but sex during the first chat. Hint: It's a huge turnoff. Take the time to get to know me first.

2/14/2008 5:35:16 AM
Happy Valentines Day to everyone! If you're anything like me and you don't have a "sweetie" to celebrate with, I'm sending you an extra big hug for the day;-)

2/11/2008 6:47:21 PM
I have received a few messages inquiring about the update I posted on my profile several weeks ago. Many of you are aware that I was "focused" on someone. Things didn't exactly work out as planned:( I want to be considerate of my situation and what I'm writing here though. I am still in contact with this particular gentleman and I prefer to be respectful. I've been wanting to write about what happened for quite some time but I need to think about it some more. I will collect my thoughts and add to this when I'm ready. 

2/9/2008 10:41:14 AM
I was reading through profiles today and I saw something rather interesting. I noticed on one in particular that a gentleman had taken the time to add an update. He stated that he is currently considering someone and that during this time he will not pursue any other activities until he sees how it's going to work out. My hat would go off to him (if I was actually wearing one) LOL This isn't the first time I've seen this on someone's profile but it is very rare indeed. In the past, I have been asked (and have agreed to) put ALL my focus on one Dom/Master. I can't even begin to tell you how disheartening it was to see those very same men logging in and out of the particular bdsm dating site we met on several times each day and...THERE WAS NO "UPDATE" ON THEIR PROFILE WHATSOEVER and...they did NOT have any friends on that site because they were there for DATING PURPOSES ONLY. It was a "red flag" especially because I was communicating with them exclusively OUTSIDE of that site. That really gave me the sense that they were still "sub shopping". If a man is truly interested in me, he would NOT want to still appear available, now would he???? *raised eyebrows* During the times I have been "exclusive" and "focused" on one Dom, I have posted updates on my profile. I continue to log onto CM during these times because I have quite a few friends on here. We keep in touch via this site. I wouldn't want anyone to get the wrong idea when they see me continuing to be active on CM. For me, posting an "update" is the right thing to do to let others know that I'm not currently seeking. I want to show the one I'm involved with that I'm truly interested in ONLY him. Again, for all the folks that have the foresight to post an update...I commend you.
 
2/11/08~I've gotten quite a few e-mails about this journal entry. Many of you aren't reading this very carefully. I did NOT say that anyone should have to stop logging onto CM just because they are "focusing" on someone. What I DID say was this...If your are, in fact, going to continue to log onto CM while you are supposedly "focusing" on someone, please have the common courtesy to post an update. It avoids a lot of confusion and makes you look a lot less like a player. You wouldn't want to still appear available when you claim to be "focusing" on someone, now would you?? I tried to be specific in what I wrote but apparently I need to be even more so. As I stated above, I have continued to log onto CM during the times I'm involved with someone, mostly to communicate with the friends I have on here. The difference is that I have always posted an update, mostly out of respect but also to avoid any confusion or hurt feelings. Please...Take the time to read, comprehend, AND understand what I have written before you start shooting me down. I reworded a few things in my original journal entry...It would seem that I need to be incredibly specific to avoid being blasted. I hope this update and the changes I made above will clear things up;-) I hope everyone had a wonderful Monday. 

2/9/2008 10:15:33 AM
I'm long overdue for a rant...so here it goes. Let's talk about photos. You know what?...It's like pulling teeth just to get a simple photo (or two) from someone on here. Am I asking too much? (I don't think so) I simply want (1) current face pic and (1) current full body photo. What does current mean to me? (The photo was taken within the past few months, not the past few years) *frowns* For those of you that have pics posted on your profile, please understand that I've been off and on this site for a fair amount of time and I've noticed that some of your pics are STILL the same which means...they're old!! Don't tell me you look exactly the same. (No you don't) LOL You're 50 pounds heavier now...*frowns* Your hair is long (not short anymore) Hell, maybe some of your hair fell out. (Just kiddin) I mean...come on folks...let's get real. And If I had a dime for every time someone told me they didn't have any way to send me a pic, I'd be frickin' rich! Guess what?? I'm not buying what you're selling. Where there's a will, there's a way. I'm not going to meet ANYone sight unseen. Nope, ain't happenin'. Is your computer broke? (Well...fix it) You don't have a digital camera? (Go buy a disposable one) You can't afford a disposable one? (Gimme a break) So many excuses...If you are so financially unstable that you can't even buy a disposable camera, you are not fit to be my Dom/Master. I have four children and I readily admit to struggling financially at times (especially at Christmas) but by golly...I do, in fact, have a digital camera. No excuses. 

Don't worry...I'm not really as angry and frustrated as I sound. *wicked grins* Just know that if you're one of the ones trying to feed me this "bull", I don't believe you. Stop wasting your time.   

2/9/2008 4:56:27 AM
I'm a little behind on answering my e-mails again. If you sent me a message, please bear with me...I'm swamped.

2/8/2008 2:48:45 PM
You will probably recognize this song from a movie. John Cale's version appeared in Shrek;-) The song, Hallelujah, has been done by different artists over the years. I used to think the "Shrek" version was my favorite until I found this...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T2NEU6Xf7lM&feature=related

2/6/2008 3:13:24 PM

Time to redo my lost journal entry...

Another beautiful song. This is The Sundays version of Wild Horses. It gives me goosebumps every time I listen to it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p_CDuyw4nRE


2/6/2008 1:59:53 PM

Well...this is interesting. The Collarme site went down today for a few hours. I logged back in later and ALL of my messages from today are missing:( Todays journal entry is MIA too. And my "Who's viewing me" list is looking pretty raped too. Anybody that looked at me between 1:15am and 5:00pm today is gone, gone, gone. LOL Anyone else having this problem?? I hope they're going to fix it.

If you e-mailed me today, you might want to resend it.


2/2/2008 10:59:27 PM
I'M WAITING ON MY NEW PICS TO POST. PLEASE CHECK BACK IN A FEW DAYS. THANX;-)

2/2/2008 5:09:21 PM
I still haven't met (in person) the one I'm seeking. The type of man I'm looking for would be a much stronger Dominant than any others I have had relationships with in the past. I've been talking to a close sub friend about all of this lately. I expressed to her that I'm not seeking someone whose sole interest is to "play" in the bedroom. This is more of a lifestyle for me and therefore I would want to be controlled far beyond simple bedroom play. I'm looking for more than just a dominant man. My "type" would relate better to the role of a Master. I've tried to express this in my profile. Perhaps I need to be more blunt? I want to be owned, collared. There has to be someone out there that meets the criteria I'm looking for...

2/2/2008 4:06:33 PM
For those of you that prefer the much longer version, I'm posting a copy of the profile I posted a few weeks ago. I keep changing it. I'm not altogether happy with it yet. I posted a shorter version today.  

I'm still seeking the ever elusive "Him", a true gentleman who exhibits a "quiet strength", seemingly calm on the surface yet full of intensity beneath. He would be many things...a patient teacher, loving, caring, romantic, and very protective of his property. I would be most compatible with someone who is laid back, easy-going, and has a great sense of humor:) I'm intrigued by men who are well read and experienced in D/s, M/s, and BDSM, and life in general, yet still open to learning new things. I am solely interested in a man that wants to control his sub/slave inside AND outside the bedroom. (Previous experience is a must!) I've known for quite some time that I both want and need a greater level of power exchange than what I have experienced thus far. I need a Dom that is firm, strict, and consistent in his style of controlling me. I look for guidance and direction from my Dominant and I should find strength in him when I need it. I would expect him to be in control of himself (and his life) as I believe those things are necessary in order for someone to effectively control me. I would love nothing more than to meet someone that is interested in exploring my mind. I love the vulnerability of it all and of course, the intimacy. I would also hope to meet someone that is interested in discovering and nurturing any interests that I might have outside of the lifestyle as well.

Please take note that I am looking for men that are in the 35-50 age range, however, I am learning to keep an open mind about age. Having said that, I have to draw the line somewhere. Please be at least my height (5'6") or taller because I like to wear heels;-) I'm generally attracted to someone who is either physically fit or has an average body.

I'm a firm believer that any relationship (especially a D/s relationship) is based on a foundation of respect, honesty, trust, and communication. If you don't agree with this philosophy (or some variation of it), please do not contact me. I long to be trained and it is my desire to one day be owned again. That should make it more than clear that I'm seeking something long term. I have lots of patience and I know it takes time to build the type of connection that I'm looking for.

If you want to know more about me, just ask or read my journal entries. My journal can be somewhat revealing if you're paying attention.

For inquiring minds that want to know...A) Please, NO married men! B) I can't relocate outside of the DC/MD/VA area due to parental obligations. C) I do not accept requests to chat on collarme. I use Yahoo, MSN (Windows Live), or AOL for Instant Messaging purposes. D) Respectfully, if you don't have a recent photo already posted on your profile, I would please ask that you make a few available to me as soon as a basic interest in one another is established. My photos are current and I expect the same in return.
 
I wish everyone the best of luck in their search. Be safe. Be well. 


1/31/2008 7:06:34 PM
Another beautiful song...
Falling Slowly~Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova

I don't know you
But I want you
All the more for that
Words fall through me
And always fool me
And I can't react
And games that never amount
To more than they're meant
Will play themselves out

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You've made it now

Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'm painted black
You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You've made it now

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You've made it now
Falling slowly sing your melody
I'll sing along

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wAEB53-QILA

**Does anybody know how to get the hyperlink feature to work on here?? What am I doing wrong??

1/31/2008 6:29:44 PM
I love this song...it sounds so sad...yet it's so beautiful. I actually heard it for the first time on an episode of House. Surprisingly, there's a lot of good music on that show. Of course, I mostly enjoy watching Dr. House be a sarcastic SOB...that's always fun. LOL

Into Dust by Mazzy Star

Still falling  
Breathless and on again  
Inside today  
Beside me today  
Around broken in two  
till your eyes shed  
Into dust  
Like two strangers  
Turning into dust  
till my hand shook with the way I fear  
 
I could possibly be fading  
Or have something more to gain  
I could feel myself growing colder  
I could feel myself under your fate  
Under your fate  
 
It was you breathless and tall  
I could feel my eyes turning into dust  
And two strangers turning into dust  
Turning into dust  
 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHfVNH1FaT4

*I can't get the hyperlink thingy to work on here. I guess it'll be a "copy & paste" situation until I figure it out. *sighs*


1/29/2008 10:44:29 PM
Well, if you take notice of my previous journal entry, it's pretty obvious that I'm having some trouble getting to sleep:( I think I slept too much today. I'm simply not tired yet. You know...I've been thinking about something for quite some time. It's kind of sad but not many men ask me about my interests outside of the lifestyle. I don't like the idea of telling someone every single little thing about me. I don't mind offering up certain information but I don't want to feel like I'm talking just to hear myself talk. I prefer a person to be interested enough in me to actually ask questions. Hell of a concept, isn't it? Anyway, I'm going to write about some of these things, for those of you that really want to know. You'll have to figure out the rest on your own. *smiles* I'm a big music lover so I always like to ask a Dom what kind of music he's into. I like ALL kinds of music. For those of you that are local, I like 94.7, 98 Rock, DC 101, and 100.3. And no...100.3 isn't oldies music anymore. LOL I go through lots of phases, as far as the kind of music that I listen to. Lately, I've been leaning more towards rock music. In a few months...I just might go country on ya;-) I guess it just depends on my mood. I like some of the older R&B music too. Let's see...what else?? I really enjoy photography too. I love taking pictures of outdoor scenery...lots of sunset pics, water pics, etc. I would love to meet someone that would be interested in going to places that I've never been to before so I could take some fresh pics. I have a long shopping list of things I haven't done but want to do. I would love to go camping one of these days. I think it would be fun. How about ATV's? I see people on them all the time. I think that would be really fun. At least it looks like fun. LOL I've never been jet skiing either. Parasailing looks incredibly frightening but exciting as hell. I have dreams about flying every once in a while. I think that's what makes me want to try it, even though I'm A LOT scared of doing anything like that. *nervous smiles* I go down to the boardwalk a lot and it just gives me the greatest feeling when I'm anywhere near the water. I wrote an e-mail to a Dom about this once. I was trying to tell him how I felt while I was there....."I can't explain it but something about the water really calms me. It was so beautiful...I just felt like I could fly...fly up over that water...feel the wind on my face, in my hair, all over my body...and escape for a little while. I know that might sound a bit crazy but that's just how good it makes me feel. It's almost like a high. I'm sure everyone has somewhere that they can go that makes them feel this way. One of these days, I'm going to have a house on the water." After sharing that, it should go without saying that I love the water. Sadly, I haven't been boating out on the water very many times in my life. The last time I went, I was on a date and I had the same exact feeling as when I walk on the boardwalk. I felt free, like I could fly...very calm, relaxed, and a feeling of extreme happiness. I don't really understand why I love it so much. For someone that hasn't spent very much time on the water, I seem to really get off on it. Oh, one more thing...I've never been horseback riding. I would love love love to do that one day. (And yes, I'm fully aware that I typed the word love 3 times in a row). When I was a little girl, my mom always used to promise to take me horseback riding one day. She never did though:( I think she had good intentions but just never followed through for whatever reason. To her credit, she did a lot of other special things with me. Does anyone remember The Enchanted Forest?? It was an amusement park (of sorts) specifically for smaller children. It's all torn down now, for the most part. That was one of my favorite places to go. There were lots of trees, plenty of shade. It was a very beautiful setting, in the woods, nice and quiet. I guess those were the days...They don't make places like that anymore. Well, I think I've shared quite enough. I don't want to contradict myself by giving up too much information. If you want to know more, just ask. I'm sure this will make for some interesting conversation with the right Dom;-) Take care everyone and enjoy the rest of your week.

1/29/2008 9:44:23 PM
Greetings everyone. I haven't journaled in quite some time. There's certainly been plenty to write about but I haven't decided just how much I want to share on here yet. I've been really busy trying to find a new job the past few weeks. My boss cut my hours back to two days a week and that's a "no can do" with four children. I'm an administrative assistant for a landscaping company so our work is seasonal but my hours have never been cut back THIS much before. Most of the jobs I've been finding are an hour away and I didn't really want to travel that far. Such is life. I went ahead and applied for some of the "far away" jobs:( I hate to take that kind of time away from my kids but I gotta do what I gotta do. I can't seem to find anything local. Geez, I really miss being a stay-at-home mom sometimes. Oh, before I forget...I haven't really been answering many e-mails lately. I've been under the weather the past few days. I suppose I'll be back in business once I feel better. I'd like to write a little more here but it's way past my bedtime. Maybe I'll add to it later...   

1/16/2008 8:24:23 AM
I thought it might be a good idea to post a copy of my old profile in my journal, mostly as a point of reference. In my new profile, there will be some parts that will remain the same, while others will be omitted.

First and foremost, I'm seeking a much greater level of power exchange than what I've experienced thus far. I would like to start with a friendship that would slowly grow into a D/s relationship. In time, I would hope that things would ultimately progress to the point where I came to view that person as my Master...Master of my heart, mind, body, and soul. I do NOT have any interest whatsoever in "bedroom" Doms. The type of power exchange that I'm seeking goes beyond the bedroom. READ: I want to be controlled inside AND outside the bedroom. Please do NOT contact me unless this is the type of control you are seeking AND you have previous experience with it. For inquiring minds that want to know... Yes, I'm STILL seeking "Him". No, I am not collared. 

I would love to find a true gentleman who exhibits a "quiet strength", seemingly calm on the surface yet full of intensity beneath. Amongst other things, he would be classy, confident, clean-cut, and very patient. Additionally, he would be well-read AND experienced in D/s, M/s, BDSM, and life in general. A sense of humor is a must, for obvious reasons. Add loving, caring, and very romantic. I'll be the first to admit that I'm a hopeless romantic. I love holding hands, having strong arms around me, and lots of hugs and kisses. The dominant man I am seeking would be laid back and easy-going in his everyday life yet firm/strict and consistent with his style of controlling me. I look for direction from my Dominant and I should find strength in him when I need it. I believe a man must first be in control of himself before he can effectively control me. I avoid men who are impatient and/or quick tempered. I am VERY turned off (and bored) by men who brag or feel the need to mention their many accomplishments in every single conversation. *yawns*  I want to be very clear that I am mostly interested in someone that is in the 35-50 age range and is at least my height (5'6") or taller. I'm generally attracted to someone who is either physically fit or has an average body. I do, in fact, have an average body with flaws (no matter how you might think I look in my pics). Frankly, I want to meet a man that is as interested in my mind and personality as he is in the rest of me.

A little about me...I was introduced to the lifestyle almost two years ago, so I'm still somewhat new to things. I'm interested in learning more, thus my search for a patient teacher continues. For the most part, I'm a relaxed, easy-going type of person. I can be a little shy sometimes, depending on the situation. I tend to blush very easily when embarrassed:) My sense of humor can be best described as sarcastic and even raunchy when appropriate. I have a dirty little mind and usually manage to find the sensuality in everything, even in the most innocent or simplest of things. I'm a very creative girl;-) Last but not least, I'm a firm believer that any relationship (especially a D/s relationship) is based on a foundation of respect, honesty, trust, and communication. 

A few misc. notes...1) Please, NO married men! 2) Parental obligations prevent me from relocating outside of the DC/MD/VA area. 3) I do not chat on collarme. I prefer Yahoo, MSN, or AOL for Instant Messaging purposes. 4) Respectfully, if you don't have a current photo in your profile, I would please ask that you send one with your first e-mail. It's not very likely that I will reply without one. Thank you.   

1/12/2008 8:45:38 PM
Hello everyone...I hope this journal entry finds everyone doing well. I've been wondering about a few things lately. Perhaps someone can shed a little light on the subject for me. I get messages from men who are SO far away from where I live. If a man isn't willing to move, then why bother sending me an e-mail in the first place? I have stated very clearly in my journal and my profile that I can't move because of my children. If anyone else from outside of the DC/MD/VA area decides to e-mail me, please let me know what your intentions are. Tell me if you can relocate (or not) and explain to me how you intend to make a LDR (long distance relationship) work. At a bare minimum, you should be willing to travel. I don't mind traveling for the right person. I have two free weekends every month and frankly I'm getting tired of spending them alone:( I want more than just web cam action, cyber-sex, and phone play. I want to have a REAL experience. This goes for the local guys too. I don't want to spend weeks on end chatting online and/or talking to you on the phone. I would expect to meet you within a reasonable amount of time. I think it's important to make sure that two people have physical chemistry BEFORE they start building a connection. It takes time to build a connection and I just can't see the point in putting the cart before the horse. I can't wait to read all the responses I'm going to get about this journal entry. *smiles* Just one more thing before I close this out... I've recently met some very sweet sub/slave "sisters" on collarme. I love meeting new people and getting to know them. I wish you all the best. Be safe and be well.   

1/4/2008 6:08:49 PM

Happy New Year everyone!! I wish you all the best and good luck with those New Years resolutions! The search continues for me...I don't know how long it will take but I know I'll find the right Dom/Master for me eventually. Actually, I'm feeling pretty excited about my "search". The men that I have been speaking to more recently are certainly a better representation of the type of Dom/Master I'm seeking. For several months, I received an overwhelming amount of messages from "bedroom" Doms. That's not what I'm looking for so I tried to make things more clear by adding those first few lines at the beginning of my profile. It really helped a lot:) I feel pretty confident that I'll find my "needle in the haystack" sooner than later:) I would also like to mention that I'm looking for friends, particularly in the local area. I'd love to meet some new people (in person), maybe talk a little bit, exchange ideas, etc. I do have quite a few online buddies in the lifestyle but only a few "real time" friends that understand this part of me. I think "real time" friendships would be more rewarding for me. A few people have suggested that I get involved with the BDSM community in my area but that's not something I'm interested in doing alone. I'm kinda shy and wouldn't feel very comfortable going to a meeting all by myself. I think I'll just try my luck on here and see what happens;-) Time for me to go...Take care everyone...   


12/29/2007 9:12:54 AM
Oh my goodness...where to begin?? I received a message this morning, beating me up for not answering an e-mail. I made a journal entry some time ago explaining my reasons for this. I am truly inundated with e-mail. I can NOT reply to all of my messages. It's simply not realistic. I get some of the sweetest messages from some of the nicest people, all over the world. I really DO appreciate it. Some of them make me laugh, some certainly put a naughty smile on my face. I tried my very hardest to answer all of the "Merry Christmas" messages. I might have missed a few but I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I got an "A" for effort;-) I hope that everyone had a wonderful Christmas. I wish you all a very Happy New Year as well. I'm curious about everyone's New Year's resolution(s) this year. I think I might post mine later, just for sh*ts and giggles. Take care everyone.   

12/28/2007 3:48:29 PM
I just wrote an e-mail to a sub friend of mine and it got me to thinking about a few things. It's very important for Dom's to be consistent when they are getting to know a sub. For example, "John" the Dom/Master meets "Jane" the sub/slave on collarme. They chat a few times online and then they decide to start talking on the phone. Jane is very responsive to John's voice, connects with his beliefs and feelings about the lifestyle, and eventually starts to feel the beginnings of a connection with him. (Keyword is starts) Despite Jane's enthusiasm (and John's claims of equal enthusiasm), John isn't very consistent with his contact with Jane. After a while, Jane doesn't feel the connection anymore:( What a shame. I can't stress enough how important consistency is. I also want to mention something else about the "getting-to-know-you" process. This is one of my biggest pet peeves. From time to time I will give my Yahoo id to a potential Dom, so we can chat and see if there's enough of a connection to warrant a face-to-face meeting. It absolutely drives me up a wall when a man multitasks while he is chatting with me on Yahoo. I can always tell...it takes him a VERY long time to respond. And yes, I can tell the difference between a slow typer and a multitasker. I'm a secretary for Pete's sake! Besides, most messenger services show you when the other person is typing anyway. Duhhhh. In the past, I have had men admit (only after being caught) to doing all sorts of different things...reading/writing e-mails, watching TV, even carrying on multiple conversations on Yahoo. All of those things are unacceptable to me. If I am talking to you, then my attention is focused on you (and only you). I expect the same in return. It's called respect folks. R-E-S-P-E-C-T...(lmao...Now I've got that song in my head) The deeper levels of respect are earned over time, however, the basics should be in place from the very beginning. There have been a few times when I have had to politely excuse myself from the conversation for a few minutes because one of my children needed me. I've also had men excuse themselves from a chat for various reasons...important phone call, children, etc. That's normal and to be expected. So, I guess what I'm trying to say is this...If you're interested in me as a sub/slave, please be consistent and know the meaning of respect;-)   

12/26/2007 3:47:53 PM
What is it with some of these men on here?? I exchanged a few messages with someone and then I gave him my handle on Yahoo. We started to chat and the first thing he asks me is how old I am and what state I live in?? wtf? I don't have time to speak to someone that can't even remember the simplest of details. I began to question him because I was starting to think I was crazy. I was actually starting to doubt myself, thinking that he was NOT, in fact, the person I had been communicating with. After checking our messages on here, sure enough, it was him. (See, I'm not crazy...lol) He signed off rather quickly and that was the end of that. (Add rude to the list please) I have had plenty of situations where, after chatting on Yahoo with someone, I have realized that we were not a good match. I will always (very politely and respectfully) state my opinion and then explain why. Then, I usually end the conversation, after wishing them the best of luck in their search. That's the right way to do things. No need to be so impatient and hot-headed that either party has to sign off in a huff without even a good-bye. Definitely not the sort of man I would entrust with tying me up and rendering my helpless in any way. You know what?? My patience for the silly, stupid stuff grows thinner and thinner every day. There used to be a time when I would try very hard to smooth things over with someone when stuff like this happened but not anymore. The new me doesn't tolerate this sort of thing. The moment this guy asked me my age and the state I lived in...the conversation was over, before it really even started. 'Nough said! Haha...I keep using this journal to vent. Can anyone tell I haven't had a spanking in a REALLY long time? I think I have a 'tude. LMAO    

12/22/2007 9:03:46 PM
I want to wish everyone a very merry Christmas. I finally found some time to sit down and make a few changes to my profile:) Hopefully the things I added will make it more clear as to what I'm truly seeking. I guess the next thing is to add a few more photos. I wonder how long it will be before I have time to do that! LOL Have a safe and happy holiday;-) UPDATE: After I finished this journal entry, I added some more pics to the few that I already had. The problem is...now you can't see ANY of my photos:( They all disappeared into "Collarme heaven". LMAO Collarme has a really strange way of doing things when you add new pics and they're slow as molasses about posting them. *frowns* 

12/9/2007 7:12:54 AM
It's been a little over a week since I've posted anything in my journal. I'm not sure what to say anymore. I'm not finding what I'm looking for and I'm starting to become a bit discouraged. I've been thinking that I should rewrite my profile in order to better explain what I'm looking for. I'm not sure what else I could say that would help me to find the elusive "Him". I'm seeking a greater level of power exchange than what I have experienced up to this point. I want a Dom who could, over time, develop such a relationship with me that I would come to view him as my Master. I know these things take time. I am certainly capable of being patient but lately, not so much. I have set the "bar" very high and I don't intend to settle. There's a big difference between compromising and settling. There are things I can live without but certain things I know I absolutely need. For example, I'm a very affectionate person. I would practically wither away in a relationship where there are not enough hugs, kisses, hand holding, etc. Touch, in of itself, is VERY important. I need to FEEL. Imagine waking up to gentle kisses all over your body...There are no words necessary. The action speaks for itself. I thrive on that type of affection. What about feeling a man's hand in the small of my back as he guides me through a room? That is a very subtle display of protectiveness but even more importantly, it shows me that he cares.  It is so difficult to go completely without, in order to find what I really want/need. All those little cravings that I'm having...I just ignore them. I'm sure that many sub/slave's could relate. I miss that feeling that comes over me when I submit...It's like a warm blanket...And the dull thud of a heavy flogger on my back...It's the equivalent of a massage for me...The sensual sting of a crop...The wonderful marks that the cane leaves on my skin...and I would certainly be remiss if I didn't mention how much I miss having my hair pulled. *wink wink* Well, It would seem that I'm getting a little off topic here.  LOL  I wish everyone the best in finding what they're looking for. It's not easy.        

11/30/2007 6:34:10 PM
I dedicate this journal entry to all the ones that send me e-mails outside of the DC/MD/VA area and expect ME to relocate. If you have zero interest in relocating, then why do you send me messages?? I have it clearly written in my profile that I can NOT relocate outside of the DC/MD/VA area. I have actually been accused of not being WILLING to relocate, being stubborn about moving, etc. What a load of crap. LOL Willing doesn't have a darn thing to do with it. I've written in my journal more than once...I HAVE 4 CHILDREN. (There, I said it again) To top it all off, I've been married twice so I'm dealing with two dads. I'm sure they wouldn't want their children moving away from them. I'd never want to do that anyway. And my angels definitely don't want to move away from their respective daddies. I applaud those select few that are rather far away but have specified in their initial e-mail that they were willing to relocate. I really appreciate that so I can determine whether a reply is even worthwhile. And while I'm at it...what's with the one word messages???? Give a dog a bone man...tell me SOMEthing about yourself...tell me what makes YOU a good Dom or Master...what types of things you're interested in...blah blah blah...there's gotta be more to it than just HI...HELLO...HEY!!  Anytime somebody says "Hey" to me, I just say "Hay is for horses, my name IS Evie." I usually get a smirk from people but you better believe they don't do the "Hey" thing with me ever again. Imagine that...LOL  Yep...sarcasm is definitely cumming out tonight. My little journal has transformed into a ventfest. hahaha  You wanna know the best part?? It's when I hit the SAVE button on my journal and I get that little message that says, "Journal Entries critical of other users are prohibited. Save this entry?" (Moi? Critical of others????) Instead of the "OK" button, they should have a "Hell Yeah" button instead! This is fun for me. I'm merely trying to get people to THINK before they message. Hell, read my profile first...that might help. I love looking at my new e-mails list, and then looking at my who's viewing me list, and seeing just how many sent messages without even reading my profile. That rates a big WOW.

11/25/2007 8:02:04 PM

OMG...I must have had a serious blonde moment. (And no, I'm not really a blonde) I was checking my e-mail this evening and thought I might take a peek at my bulk e-mail. There's usually a few in there, right? More like 8 pages, dating back as far as 11/13/07!! Let's get back to the whole "blonde moment" thing again. I think I accidentally did something weird with my mail controls. It all makes sense now...I haven't been getting very much mail the past few weeks...was starting to wonder if something I said in my journal offended someone...was even thinking about sensoring my journal a bit...LOL  Anyway...if you're reading this and you sent me a message in the past few weeks...NEWSFLASH: I DIDN'T GET IT! :) I'm trying to read some of them tonight. Happy "blonde moment" everybody!! We ALL have them from time to time. 


11/19/2007 6:06:58 AM
I want to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving Holiday. I drove my mom and my nanny to Pennsylvania this past weekend to visit my sister and her hubby, and of course my favorite niece. We enjoyed an early Thanksgiving dinner while we were there. Yummy! They live in a beautiful home on top of the mountains and we were treated to the very first snow of the season during our stay. It was just enough to be beautiful, but not enough to mess up our drive home:) I'll be cooking the regular Thanksgiving dinner at my house this week, as usual. I don't have much family in the area so it's just me, my four angels, my mom and my nanny. Some of the e-mails and profile views that I received right before I left for PA got me thinking...and now this journal entry is going to go in a completely different direction. LOL Perhaps I'm starting to enjoy the whole journal thing a tad bit too much. Nahhhhhh Okay...here goes nothing...I have it written in my profile that I'm looking for a clean cut man. What does clean cut mean to you? Do you think it has the same meaning as well groomed? I'm bringing the topic up because I've received messages from men that clearly don't fit the term "clean cut" and certainly wouldn't be considered well groomed. I'm starting to think that it means different things to different people. I've seen quite a few men on here that are still fairly young yet they have an untrimmed mustache and a full beard (also untrimmed) which makes them appear SO much older. They look more like Santa Claus. I would love to send some of these guys a message to tell them, "Hey, you're frickin hot as hell underneath all that facial hair. Either shave it off or trim it up darlin!" I'm pretty sure that wouldn't go over too well. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of men out there with a full beard (like the gentleman I met in Chantilly, VA last week) that keep everything very trimmed and neat. And what about the guys who are completely clean shaven yet they have a rather scary, bushy caterpillar above their lip?? I'm dying to tell them to either trim it or just shave the sucker off! Newsflash!...It makes you look A LOT older than you really are. Are there any subs that can relate to this? Have you ever had the urge to trim or even shave "Sir" in the middle of the night, secretly wishing you could actually get away with it?? Ohhh, the beating you'd get for that!! LOL And then there are the unmentionable things (Yep, I'm really gonna go there). LMAO I don't think that collarme allows the "crotch shots" on their site but I'm on a few other dating sites that do. Plenty of men, as well as women love to post naughty pics. And guess what?? A lot of them don't groom there either. Big surprise, right? Now I ask you, how can I be expected to be clean shaven and/or trimmed down there when so many of you men appear to be growing a doggone bush?? *shaking my head* Yuck! Gentlemen, please be clean cut and well groomed "upstairs" AND "downstairs". *big smiles* Am I forgetting anything? How about eyebrows? Men grow caterpillars up there too. Guys, just get a small pair of scissors and trim them up a bit. Or maybe go to the barber and get them to do it. Naughty lil subs are good at it too;-) I used to take care of that for my former Dom. He used to get these stray little hairs and I would very lovingly trim them off for him;-) I'm sure I'm gonna get a lot of crap about this journal entry. Oh well, it's all in fun and I think it's a good thing to be able to speak my mind, as respectfully as possible of course. For the record, mustaches are cool, as long as they're not too bushy and they're trimmed neatly. I think the modern goatee looks super hot on men. I have even seen men with a full beard and mustache that look super hot and rugged BUT only when it was kept very short and neatly trimmed. Hmmm, I might just have to add some more to this later. I can't wait to see the comments I get on this one:)       

11/15/2007 8:03:07 PM

Now that I'm a little more settled into my new place, I finally have some time to start weeding through my e-mails. *sighs* What a mess! LOL Over 500 e-mails to read and SO many reasons to delete...no written profile, no pic, too old, too young, too far away, no physical attraction, etc. Can anyone else relate to this?? Someone pointed out to me that I might want to be more specific about the marital status of the man I'm looking for. I took that advice and made a few changes to my profile, but just for the record...I'm NOT seeking a married man. The man I'm seeking must be single. I'm also not interested in men who have recently ended a relationship, are in the process of coming out of a relationship, or are still in a relationship and getting ready to end it...blah blah blah. I've heard it all. I also choose not to be one of many. One sub, one Dom...period. That's all I need/want. Playing the role of a harem girl for my Dom/Master might be kinda sexy and fun. Actually being part of a sub "harem"? Not! I'm reminded of that movie Highlander, which was also made into a TV series. "There can be only one!" *giggles* A few have asked me about my bdsm interests and I just keep thinking what a shame it is that there isn't a more detailed "checklist" on collarme. I like the checklists on bondage and alt much better. They're a lot more specific. It's important to find someone who at least has the same basic kink. (I would love for this next thought to be in a separate paragraph but the spacing is wacky on here)  I have a great respect for all roles and all varieties of sexuality in this lifestyle, however, I have no problems outlining the specifics of what I'm seeking. Having said that, I pay VERY close attention to your role and what role(s) you're seeking. I am seeking a Dominant man who is seeking a submissive woman. If you are seeking anything other than a woman with a truly submissive heart, then you're not for me. I don't switch as I have no desire to control a man. I wouldn't be happy with a man that had any desire to submit, whatsoever. Maybe the first line in my profile should read, "Pure submissive seeks pure Dominant". Maybe that would make things a little clearer. I have also seen profiles where men have identified themselves as being strictly Dominant yet their profile states they are seeking a wide variety of things...Dom women, switch women, sub women...anything they can get...I pass right over those too. How can you be a Dominant man if you are seeking so many different things? Does that mean you are confused or does it mean that you have mistakenly listed yourself as a Dom when you're really a switch? And for those that have asked, I am bi-curious but I do not (and will never) seek a relationship with a woman. I am only interested in men. If it doesn't have three "legs", then it ain't for me:) And please ladies, no jokes about strap-ons. *wink wink* Perhaps I will experiment with a woman one day, under the direction of a good Master:) Only time will tell.


11/11/2007 8:47:51 PM
I want to thank everyone for all the well wishes and heartfelt e-mails in regards to my recent move. As some of you already know, it was a pretty crappy situation that I hadn't planned on. I was living in a cute little house in Owings and had no intentions of moving again for a long time. I was renting from a married couple but unfortunately the husband turned out to be a scam artist. He scammed me AND his wife:( He took all my rent money and blew it instead of using it to pay the mortgage. The house went into foreclosure and eventually was sold at auction. The jerk ran off with my deposit money too so I never really knew how I was going to come up with the funds to put down a deposit on my new place. Right around the same time all this was going on, I was involved in a car accident. (No, I wasn't hurt, thank goodness) And if that wasn't enough, the man I called Sir for almost a year decided that he was going to end our relationship...definitely a case of poor timing. I have never experienced so much "rain" in my entire life. It was overwhelming, to say the least. It was pretty tough being a single mom of 4 children and having to pack and move EVERYthing entirely on my own. I couldn't afford to pay a moving company to move it all, so I only had them take care of the big furniture that I couldn't lift. Anyway...there's a happy ending to this mess, I promise.  LOL  I finally moved on Halloween:) Helluva day to move, isn't it? After that, it only took me about a week to get the rest of the small stuff out of my old place and do a bit of light cleaning. I'm relieved that it's finally all over with. There were a few times when I really didn't know if I was going to be able to get through it. There were nights when I only got 3 or 4 hours of sleep. (I tried to do as much packing and moving as possible when my kids were asleep). The moral of the story...I already knew I was a strong person but I'm actually A LOT stronger than I ever realized. The toughest part was not having a loving Dominant by my side. I recently wrote an e-mail to someone and a few of the lines describe perfectly what I've learned from this experience..."I've come to a point in my life where I've realized a few things. I don't necessarily NEED a Dominant man in my life. (I need food, water, clothing on my back, and a roof over my head, etc.) I feel I'm strong enough to get by on my own, however, I WANT to have that kind of structure in my life. I find it to be very fulfilling and it makes me very happy:) I would venture to say that it makes me feel complete but some people might not want to hear that kind of statement. But, I have to be honest. During the times where I didn't have a Dom or was simply taking a break from the lifestyle, I have felt like something was missing. Sometimes the stress of everyday life can cloud the issues at hand. A Dom can provide much needed focus and direction during those times". 

10/26/2007 5:23:59 PM
I am seriously starting to wonder whether ANYone actually reads my profile BEFORE they send me an e-mail. I really don't understand why someone would ask me certain questions when the answers are clearly IN my profile. I added an "update" some time ago and I put it at the end of my profile. That was a BIG mistake. Again, most people aren't even reading it. The ones who DO read it must not make it to the end.  LOL  So, I thought I would play it smart and put the "update" at the very beginning. My logic? The first few lines are visible to people even if they don't view the full profile. Guess what?? No improvement whatsoever. A few could argue that my profile is too long. And what do I say to that? Yes, my profile IS lengthy. I put a lot of thought, time, and effort into writing it. My search for a Dom/Master is important to me and I take it seriously. I believe some effort on my part is in order, right?? If someone lacks the patience to read a simple profile, then he probably isn't right for me anyway. One more thing...Why does everyone keep pretending not to notice my request for a pic with the first e-mail? I don't see any point in exchanging a slew of e-mails with someone only to finally see their photo and realize that I'm not even slightly attracted to them. And how would I break the news to this person?? I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings and I certainly don't want to tick anyone off. That's not why I'm here. Don't get me wrong, I'm not looking for some "model" type guy. I'm simply looking for a man that is attractive to ME. I don't care what anyone else thinks of his looks. Chemistry is a funny thing. I suppose that's why I'm attracted to many different "types". Okay, I'm done venting. It's time for me to get off my soapbox...I suppose a good slut would actually get on her hands and knees and crawl off of her soapbox, like a sweet, little sex kitten. *wink wink*

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BlacKnockout
 
 Age: 20
 Perth, Australia