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| As for my place with the sex that is from a Divine origin, the Sacred Feminine Beings... I yearn to serve from my knees in obedient subservience to the Goddess my heart tells me to.
To be emasculated in tribute to her.
To be stripped of the idea that I need anything but my mouth on her body, her every whim in my ass. To be lucky enough to get to feed on her piss in public or private.
On collar and leash. Craving ridicule and laughter from Divine Feminine Creatures as I am asking to be constantly stripped of any semblance that I'm anything near being what society calls a man.
I'm sorry for babbling. I can't find the succinct way to say that my inferiority begs for a place at the command of She.
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I've been regularly thinking about if I can find the Goddess that is 'the one', that I would want to be castrated for & before her.
I kinda like the idea of a Alpha Female making me only know sex as she allows a 'bitch' to know.
Kinda really want to be trained to find permanent 'orgasm' reassignment in making others cum. |
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Still not a load pumped up my ass or down my throat.
Strangely enough though, out of boredom I let some guy suck my cock last night.
It wasn't bad. Felt good to cum through someone else wanting to be on my dick.
But all in all I'd much rather dribble squirt cum from my cock from the excitement of pleasing a man or being fisted and mocked by a woman. |
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All I want is for a man or Men I don't know to see me as meat to fuck and be sucked by to take what they want without asking and fuck my ass so hard that I cum all over myself like the beta bitch sissy I've hidden since sucking my dad's best friend's cock when I was 12.
Sucking a Man off felt like home, unquestionably right where I belong. Sucking cock came natural and excited me. One of the few purposes I ever felt was being born so men could use me however they please.
I loved taking Buddy's grown up cock in my ass. After experiencing it I had my first fantasies involving females. In them I was being fucked from behind by a Man and face down in a woman's cunt.
She was dominant, and forceful and I got off big time on that.
My new female fantasy is to be a submissive bitch to a dominant woman. For her to let her friends violate my ass. For her to have alpha males fuck me bareback, verbally abusing me as the biggest cock slaving bitch of all, including women. For those pretty ladies to mock, ridicule, laugh at and share video of what an easy mark I am when I'm around a Man who could pump cum in my ass and down my throat. All over my face. Topped off with the piss of whoever felt like pissing on me or feeding me piss.
I want to submit to a woman who will see to it I take regular cum walks with orders to approach females I find attractive to ask nonsense questions all so they can soak in or take pictures of my thoroughly used whore face marked as property.
I want a mistress to serve who will fingerfuck my cock hole from whatever insert til I can take 2 fingers and finally have a semblance of the cunt I should have been born with.
Yes. I wish tonight I was gangfucked by anonymous Alpha Males, bred like the fuck pig I've repressed for all my adult life. Fucked til cum can only run down my leg. Given so much dick to suck that if I vomited puddles of cum would be the only thing coming up.
So full of cum that nobody is surprised that I actually beg to drink piss while being pissed on, spit on, caught on video.
Maybe even have my ass filled with piss then sealed by ramming a butt plug called pain up in me like it's the sex crime Olympics.
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There is truly barely any value in me as a human outside of my ability to beg men to cum in my ass and mouth,.....
And my acceptance of my rightful place under the Scared Feminine Goddess Being in absolute submission as an inferior breed made to serve in slavery and worship of her.
I wish someone was pissing in my mouth and on my face.
I need someone to validate that I'm worth that much respect at most. Used like a urinal.
Someone please treat me like a piece of shit. |
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I've been bit scared or nervous with my ever increasing desire to submit and serve a dominant Goddess.
Just the slightest thought of it and I feel a charged tingling in my cock.
It's weird as fuck in a way because i left a girlfriend of many years some months ago because she started being absolutely horrible to me.
Lying to me. Ignoring me. Manipulating me and intentionally sexually rejecting and humiliating me.
Luring me in to think we were going to be intimate only to feign falling asleep once it got going, she repeatedly did it. But she denied everything which is what made it so hurtful.
It was clear that I didn't matter or hold a place of affection or deep being in love and wanting to spend forever with me anymore.
Past few months I've been obsessed with being used and pumped full of Gumby as many men as possible l with it feeling mandatory that I'm given no thought or respect as anything other than a whore to degrade, abuse, and use in any way needed for men I don't know to enjoy pumping cum into an insignificant sluts receptacles.
I've yet to act on and meet up with a man or group of men to do it to me yet but that might change soon.
I found a local guy online last night who has a massive cock and wants to fuck me brutally with it and I've been very turned on and excited to feel for once the pain and pleasure of a stranger savagely using my body for his own purposes.
Still I'm obsessed with kneeling before a superior Divine Goddess in service and obedience to her commands. Extremely turned on by the thought of her humiliating me. And being humiliated in front of other women as well.
Truth be told I don't know the first thing about this world that I feel so drawn to.
I'm scared of submitting to a Divine Goddess and having something happen that I don't like. Don't enjoy. Am repulsed by and so on and what her reaction will be.
Will I be thrown away and forgotten as a human of no value except for when its carcass is feeding the trees as it decomposes.
I'm also extremely insecure about being so ugly and physically repulsive to anyone who sees me without clothing.
For years I mutilated myself with burns and slices I inflicted on my flesh.
I've got so many scars. Big ugly fucking scars.
I caught a glimpse of my shirtless self in the mirror 2 days ago and was shocked at the amount of scars, I never thought it was that bad but now I feel like they define and overwrite anything that the soul inside the ugly shall is it could be to life, to anyone, to myself. Well not to my dogs. I know they love me no matter what always.
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I really want to eat loads of cum and drink liters of piss in front of a pretty girl who can't stop laughing and insulting me in front of all her friends.
I want to have my ass hatefucked by women with strap ons with malicious double penetration used to help me see how much of a pain slut I really am.
Yes. I need to be hurt, humiliated, fucked with emotionally, and publicly put in my place as inferior by a Goddess.
Only way to improve on that would be for her to make me believe I was something special that she needed just lure me in and distract me with illusion of love so she can tell me how a real man fucked her better than I ever could. But being a beta bitch I'm perfectly suited to for clean up of the mess her lover left inside of her.
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