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petmeDaddy

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Friends:
MRODIanBlackMikesSoSlick

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Ive been offered the moon so many times...think Ill change my name to NASA...sigh....Little girls, like butterflies, need no excuses.HOPE is the thing with feathers That perches in the soul. And sings the tune without the words, And never stops at all.I want the kind of man a woman can trust when she can no longer trust herself.It takes alot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.Dont settle for the one you can live with. Wait for the one you cant live without.One real touch is better than a bridge of dreams.Hearts never look both ways first.Everyone who got where he is has had to begin where he was. ***Robert Louis StevensonIM YOUR ONE THAT GOT AWAY!!OK... lets get something straight here...I am NOT bi nor a lesbian and never will be!! I am NOT looking for a domme, or a sub of my own. I am NOT looking to share or a poly relationship!!ANY QUESTIONS??I GET SO TIRED OF YOU SO-CALLED DOMS WHO CANT HANDLE A WOMAN WITH A BRAIN!! IF YOU DONT WANT MY OPINION...THEN DONT FRIGGIN ASK FOR IT!! SHEESH!!Lead me not into temptation...I AM temptation.Thanks to Knightmares for this one The cruelest thing a Dom can do to a sub is to let her fall in love when He doesnt intend to catch her fall. UnknownIt takes a strong girl....to put herself in the hands of a stronger man (thanks to desireabledaddy for this awesome bit of wisdom!! its is sooo me!No one can give you wiser advice than yourself.He taught me how to love...but not how to stop.A kiss can write a secret...Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind dont matter, and thosethat matter dont mind. Dr. SeussIm not so much lookin for a daddy as I am lookin for a Dom and a collar...I guess a Dom with a few daddy tendencies wouldnt be so bad.....If your heart doesnt have a reason to keep beating...it wont.When the fire in me meets the ice in you...what can be left but damp ashes?A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.I need to be tied up and kissed on...sigh....The heart has reasons which the reason cannot understand.

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12/1/2021 8:48:47 PM

Why do all the fucktards find me???


3/21/2018 6:13:45 PM
Holy cow. Another one. 

3/13/2018 1:44:53 PM
I love how you cowards insult me and then block me.  Just shows me what childish assholes you truly are!

3/8/2018 6:48:55 AM
Look guys....just because you are coming to my town DOES NOT mean I’ll meet with you, jump into bed with you, or session with you. 

GROW UP!! Show some class. This isn’t AFF!

12/31/2017 9:42:04 PM
Peace in 2018♡

12/9/2017 11:30:02 PM
And now a female "sub" calls me a bitch. I'm so tired of the stupid people on this site. I think my fun here has run it's course.

10/20/2017 5:58:22 AM
He calls himself iknowtoo He's rude and calls me names and blocks me Will he EVER grow up?

10/10/2017 9:40:24 AM
And now a woman shows what a stupid c*** she is....and calls herself a domme. Sigh....

8/31/2017 8:20:28 AM
Look you perverted assholes! If you are gonna take the time to insult me, at least be "man" enough to not block me and let me blast you out of the fucking water! I'm so sick of you 13 year old pimple faced kiddies in your undies on mommies computer insulting me!! Go outside and play!!!

8/8/2017 5:30:41 PM
Sometimes...what we have been looking for has been there in front of us all along.

6/15/2017 11:40:15 AM
This is the crap he sends me: From: Romance2NewYork ???Dated:?? 6/15/17 1:24 PM Go talk to your husband, whore. And give those 25 year old pics a rest. You looked disgusting then! Now? I can just ikagine the fat mess... (Btw im not married lol)

5/22/2017 3:40:54 PM
Now he calls himself Romance2newyork. What a coward !

5/17/2017 7:21:39 PM
Whoa.....what a sicko pervert that one was! I think I might just shut this whole thing down. Gettin tired of this..

5/6/2017 7:17:43 AM
Happy birthday to Me!!

5/3/2017 4:57:25 PM
Saturday is my birthday! Send presents!♡♡♡♡

4/23/2017 9:43:35 PM
Thanks to SpanksHer2 fir this awesome gem! I have upped my standards, so up yours. ~~ Pat Paulson.

4/3/2017 5:38:00 PM
Annnnd he's back! TheseusNY GET A GODDAM LIFE, WILL YOU????

3/20/2017 1:37:39 PM
Now he rears his ugly head as vermeerfan. Same message. Same hateful bully. I reported him. Just wish they'd follow thru. Tired of his childish bullshit.

3/4/2017 9:01:47 AM
It must be a miserable existence when you have no sense of humor!

3/1/2017 11:40:48 AM
TheseuseNY...how many fake profiles do you need to keep insulting me then blocking me? Aren't you getting tired of acting like the coward you really are? Grow the fuck up. Get a life. Get a job. Get out of mommy's basement! You're just a bully. And a stupid one at that.

2/26/2017 5:59:23 PM
I tell you plain and simple that I'm a bedroom sub. And you call me a fake. Jeez. Some people are so fucking stupid.

2/25/2017 9:48:05 PM
You want ME to drive 6 hours to see you and you won't send me a face pic first? Well...you're a special kind of stupid, aren't you?!

2/10/2017 7:18:50 AM
Any "dom" who uses the word 'romance' as part of his name...writes me and insults me and bullies me... And of course blocks me, because he's not man enough to read my reply... Evidently doesn't know the meaning of the word, and surely has never had any in his life. Sad that he has to get his rocks off insulting me. Get a fucking life! Moron!

1/24/2017 10:54:18 PM
Lasvegas1...you blocked me

1/3/2017 8:01:37 PM
Honestly. 2 messages and then im blocked for my reply? Which was nice enough and not rude at all. I just don't get you chicken shit men!!!

1/1/2017 7:58:10 PM
Let's all have a wonderful 2017!!!

12/30/2016 9:46:06 PM
And blocked another name calling jerk. I swear yall. Wtf???

12/25/2016 8:31:10 AM
Merry Christmas y'all!

12/25/2016 8:31:01 AM
Merry Christmas y'all!

12/8/2016 3:36:27 PM
Wow, the name-calling bullies are out in force today. Why do they call me names? What's the point? Do they get hard? Get their rocks off? Feels like I'm back in 3rd grade on the playground. How do they think that makes them manly or dominant? I just don't get the thrill in cutting someone down just for the hell of it. I guess I was just raised better than them. I just hope they enjoy their dose of karma when it bites them in the butt!

12/7/2016 4:04:03 PM
Well, this time I blocked one, lol

12/4/2016 7:54:07 PM
Does it really make you feel more manly when you insult me and then block me? You're a special kind of pussy, aren't ya!!

11/20/2016 2:18:15 PM
DreamsDoHappen..you have me blocked. .

11/9/2016 12:20:55 AM
Trump wins!!!! Life is good!!

8/12/2016 11:34:55 AM
And another one shows his true colors and then blocked me. How "domly" is that? What a coward. No wonder he's alone.

7/14/2016 10:16:28 PM
I am so tired of the assholes in here.

7/9/2016 11:11:06 AM
Ok look.....I'm not gonna provide any of you so called "doms" with jerk off material. Don't say hi to me then ask me how many men I've had or crap like that. A little Class goes a long way. Grow the hell up! And NO I'm not a fake or wanna -be just because I won't tell you things that are none of your business in general conversation.

5/25/2016 9:36:30 AM
Ok guys..this is how NOT to win over a sub..or anyone else for that matter!! What a moronic jerk!! It's time to belong to Master who knows how to train you as his lil 3 holed fuckslut slavegirl, crawl your dumb ass here bitch, send Master a message Needless to say..he's been blocked!

5/6/2016 3:36:44 AM
Happy birthday to me!

5/5/2016 9:19:13 PM
GUESS WHAT TOMORROW IS!!??

3/11/2016 2:16:07 PM
Some Great wow Sex Quotes


 
These are old... but if you haven't seen 'em, they're far classier that the usual 'dirty babble'.....     


Great Quotes on Sex
 
 
 
"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz SL500."  
 
  Lynn Lavner
 
 
 
"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
 
Camille Paglia
 
 
 
"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship."
 
Sharon   Stone  
 
   
 
"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps."
 
Tiger Woods  
 
 
 
"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
 
Jack Nicholson
 
 
 
" Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."    
 
  Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady)      
 
   
 
"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
 
Robin Williams  
 
 
 
  "Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place"    
 
  Billy Crystal  
 
   
 
"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful."
 
Robert De Niro
 
   
 
"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"
 
Dustin Hoffman  
 
 
 
  "There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, 'I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked !"
 
Jerry Seinfeld  
 
 
 
  "See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
 
Robin Williams  
 
   
 
"It's been so long since I've had sex, I've forgotten who ties up whom."   
 
  Joan Rivers
 
 
 
Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences money can buy.   
 
  Steve Martin  
 
   
 
You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-..aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for later in life.
 
Elmo Phillips    
 
 
 
  " Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same."
 
Oscar Wilde  
 
   
 
" It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married."
 
George Burns


3/11/2016 2:13:53 PM

3/11/2016 2:11:44 PM
Some Great wow Sex Quotes


 
These are old... but if you haven't seen 'em, they're far classier that the usual 'dirty babble'.....     


Great Quotes on Sex
 
 
 
"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz SL500."  
 
  Lynn Lavner
 
 
 
"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
 
Camille Paglia
 
 
 
"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship."
 
Sharon   Stone  
 
   
 
"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps."
 
Tiger Woods  
 
 
 
"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
 
Jack Nicholson
 
 
 
" Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."    
 
  Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady)      
 
   
 
"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
 
Robin Williams  
 
 
 
  "Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place"    
 
  Billy Crystal  
 
   
 
"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful."
 
Robert De Niro
 
   
 
"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"
 
Dustin Hoffman  
 
 
 
  "There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, 'I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked !"
 
Jerry Seinfeld  
 
 
 
  "See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
 
Robin Williams  
 
   
 
"It's been so long since I've had sex, I've forgotten who ties up whom."   
 
  Joan Rivers
 
 
 
Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences money can buy.   
 
  Steve Martin  
 
   
 
You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-..aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for later in life.
 
Elmo Phillips    
 
 
 
  " Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same."
 
Oscar Wilde  
 
   
 
" It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married."
 
George Burns


3/11/2016 2:07:56 PM
Some Great wow Sex Quotes


 
These are old... but if you haven't seen 'em, they're far classier that the usual 'dirty babble'.....     


Great Quotes on Sex
 
 
 
"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz SL500."  
 
  Lynn Lavner
 
 
 
"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
 
Camille Paglia
 
 
 
"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship."
 
Sharon   Stone  
 
   
 
"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps."
 
Tiger Woods  
 
 
 
"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
 
Jack Nicholson
 
 
 
" Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."    
 
  Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady)      
 
   
 
"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
 
Robin Williams  
 
 
 
  "Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place"    
 
  Billy Crystal  
 
   
 
"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful."
 
Robert De Niro
 
   
 
"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"
 
Dustin Hoffman  
 
 
 
  "There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, 'I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked !"
 
Jerry Seinfeld  
 
 
 
  "See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
 
Robin Williams  
 
   
 
"It's been so long since I've had sex, I've forgotten who ties up whom."   
 
  Joan Rivers
 
 
 
Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences money can buy.   
 
  Steve Martin  
 
   
 
You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-..aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for later in life.
 
Elmo Phillips    
 
 
 
  " Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same."
 
Oscar Wilde  
 
   
 
" It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married."
 
George Burns


3/10/2016 8:22:52 PM
****Quotes Of The Day****

"We don't love others when we
find them beautiful,we find others
beautiful when we love them."
-Josei Toda

3/10/2016 8:17:59 PM

3/10/2016 8:15:38 PM
****Quotes Of The Day****

"We don't love others when we
find them beautiful,we find others
beautiful when we love them."
-Josei Toda

3/10/2016 8:04:22 PM
****Quotes Of The Day****

"We don't love others when we
find them beautiful,we find others
beautiful when we love them."
-Josei Toda

3/10/2016 7:45:26 PM
****Quotes Of The Day****

"We don't love others when we
find them beautiful,we find others
beautiful when we love them."
-Josei Toda

3/4/2016 7:42:53 PM
QUOTE OF THE DAY:
"I’d rather regret the things I’ve done than regret the things I haven’t done."
Lucille Ball          

12/31/2015 8:51:54 PM

Happy New Year Y'all!

May this New Year take away all your sadness and fill your life with endless joy and happiness, good luck and prosperity! May Dame Fortune even smile at you, but never her daughter, Miss Fortune! I wish you all the best for the New Year!

 
 
 

12/24/2015 11:00:49 PM
Merry Christmas y'all!!

11/30/2015 5:04:40 PM
Hello raging masses. When I was a kid I only had two friends, and they were imaginary. And they would only play with each other.

11/19/2015 6:21:49 PM
Hello raging masses. Did you ever just sit around eat and drink for three years?
I had a good reason. I was waiting for Publishers Clearing House.

11/18/2015 11:03:27 AM
Hello raging masses. My big fear. Driving behind a big truck with those big iron rebar.
Truck stops, the bar goes right through my forehead it doesn't kill me, they can't remove
it and I have to accessorize it.

11/11/2015 4:18:02 PM
Hello raging masses. A man on a date wonders if he'll get lucky. The woman knows.

11/11/2015 4:02:49 PM
Fact of the Day
The sons of Hitler's nephew all agreed that they would never marry or have children in order to kill Hitler's bloodline.

11/10/2015 1:43:50 PM

Hello raging masses. My sister was out with two men one night. She could hardly walk after that.
 Can you imagine? Two dinners.

11/9/2015 5:29:47 PM
 
 
>  1.   I got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill.  Apparently a turban, beard, and a backpack wasn't what they had in mind.
>
>  2.   After a night of drink, drugs and wild sex, John woke up to find himself next to a really ugly woman. That's when he realized he had made it home safely.
 
> 3.   Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Para-Olympics after they tested positive for WD40.
>
>  4.   A boy asks his granny, 'Have you seen my pills, they were labeled LSD?'  Granny replies, 'the hell with the pills, did you see the dragons in the kitchen?"
>
> 5.   Wife gets naked and asks hubby, 'What turns you on more, my pretty face or my sexy body?'  Hubby looks her up and down and replies, 'Your sense of humor!'
>  Hospital visiting hours are 5:00 to 6:00.
>
>  6.   A chap's wife's back on the warpath again. She was up for making a sex movie last night, and all he did was suggest they should hold auditions for her part.    The viewing will be Saturday from 7:00 till 8:30.
>
>  7.   I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next crap could spell disaster.
>
> 8.   I woke up this morning at 9:00, and could sense something was wrong. I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing!  I panicked.  I didn't know what to do. Then I remembered, McDonalds serves breakfast until 10:30.
>
>  9.   My missus packed my bags, and as I walked out the front door, she screamed, "I wish you a slow and painful death, you bastard!"  "Oh," I replied, "so now you want me to stay!”.
>
>  10.  Bought the missus a hamster skin coat last week.  Took her to the fair last night, and it took me 3 hours to get her off the Ferris wheel.
 
>  11.   The other night, my wife asked me how many women I'd slept with.  I told her, "Only you. All the others kept me awake all night!"     - - The doctor says I should be able to see again in about ten days.

11/8/2015 3:23:06 PM
Hello raging masses. Men do cry, but only when assembling furniture.

11/7/2015 10:50:23 AM
Hello raging masses. My last credit card bill was so big , before I opened it up I actually heard a drum roll.

11/5/2015 10:00:29 PM
Life without parole!! woohoo!

11/2/2015 3:26:16 PM
Fact of the Day
There is a species of trapdoor spider named after President Obama—Aptostichus barackobamai.

10/16/2015 5:44:37 PM
Fact of the Day
The tip of a bullwhip moves so fast that the sound it makes is actually a tiny sonic boom.

9/25/2015 8:20:38 PM
GUILTY Murder1...sentencing Nov 4!

Bury that c***s****** UNDER the jail!

9/7/2015 11:00:38 PM
...and the murder trial begins today...be interesting to see what happens!

8/27/2015 4:08:46 PM
Today..my heart is whole again!

8/21/2015 4:19:02 PM
ok i get this: (poloman1)

if i pay you 800 dollars can you tie me up out side like an abused dog. i want to know what a dog tie up out side in the sun all day feels like, a dog that is feed nasty stufff and left there all day. i did this to a dog when i was yunger

i tell him go ahead, wire it to me

he sends this: 

what is up with all the greedy woman on this sight you would have been better teling me to fuck off  that what your statement says 

so i says: 

because you send these stupid ass emails to all of us, youre a sick fuck that gets off on this creepy sick shit.

I block him.

he send me this under another name: (bouncealot)


now im going to get off on finding you a fucking up your world thank for giving me focaus now it is all about you

hmmmmm...should I worry?

oh and btw...I reported him for threatening me.



8/21/2015 3:43:06 PM

8/21/2015 3:37:05 PM

8/7/2015 7:13:43 PM
Old Biker Joke Of The Day:

Old Biker: "Give me 3 packets of condoms, please." 

Cashier: "Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?" 
Old Biker: "Nah...She's purty good lookin'....."

7/19/2015 4:06:11 PM
Does anybody out there know anything about how to set up and sync an 
Inmi Dolce 10 Function App Controlled Bluetooth Vibrator?

Mine is the Irena1 model, its on the www.realov.com website...

I bought if off Amazon, and the website tells me I need a 10 digit verification code that's supposed to be taped to the box, and of course there isn't. And the seller tells me its the UPC code numbers, which don't make much sense to me, so I don't agree...

We have both downloaded the apps and all that stuff, but can't get his to find the vibe...this is so dang irritating! This should be a 5 minute setup, and its taking DAYS so far!  If anyone out there has set this up, ot has any tips or even speaks Chinese, I would love you forever for any help I can get! 

7/11/2015 10:31:19 PM
Sometimes the things we can't change end up changing us.

7/11/2015 10:30:32 PM
www.vocabulary.com > dictionary> twat

A twat is either a vagina or a jerk. Either way, this is a very vulgar, obscene word that should be avoided.

5/23/2015 11:32:37 PM
well! some of you do! thanks y'all!

5/6/2015 9:28:48 PM
wow, and no one cared! thanks alot!

5/6/2015 7:14:57 AM
Happy birthday to me! :0)

4/21/2015 10:39:12 PM
I ain't voting for Monica Lewinsky's ex-boyfriends wife!!

4/18/2015 9:33:13 PM
Sometimes my heart is a big fool!

4/6/2015 10:00:59 PM
My birthday is coming in May...all you pay piggies start shopping!!

(J/K...I try this every year, it's never worked, lol)

3/13/2015 11:15:18 PM
men are jerks

2/20/2015 8:09:44 AM
It's stupid of you to block me just because I have other friends in here. If you think that hurts my feelings... Think again. It just shows me I dodged a bullet by not hooking up with your jealous controlling a**h*** ways.

2/14/2015 12:19:13 PM
well john, you messaged me but you didn't unblock me, lol...  ya gotta hit that unblock button if im gonna write you back! I think you need some puter lessons, lol

2/13/2015 9:58:02 PM
I'm baaaaaaccckkk!! They finally let me have my profile back!! Yipeee!!!

1/30/2015 8:05:13 PM
John I haven't dismissed you. You have me blocked by accident. I even had a friend message you to tell you lol And now the mods have taken down my profile because I've been trying to tell you that you blocked me.

1/25/2015 12:06:46 AM
johns9112...you blocked me!

12/31/2014 7:35:59 PM
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY!

10/29/2014 10:40:24 PM
...and I might be called to testify!

9/17/2014 6:02:44 PM

A detective called me today, from Michigan.  Seems the Prince Charming I met on here, is in jail for murder! He killed his landlord right after he talked to me on July 20. He's a bad bad egg! If you ladies want to know who he is, please message me! He's also been in jail for human trafficking, illegal confinement...I don't know what all. Google has at least 2 pages on him, under the name the cops know him by...and they aren't sure that's even his real name! So now the FBI is in on it...what a mess! I am so glad I told him up front I had no money, lol...and I'm REALLY glad I never met him in person, or went all that way to see him! Whew! Feels like I dodged a bullet!

BE CAREFUL OUT THERE!!!!


9/12/2014 4:04:39 PM
The Devil doesn't come dressed in a red cape and pointy horns.

He comes as everything you've ever wished for.

9/2/2014 9:21:30 PM
Only those who care about you can hear you when you're quiet. ~Anonymous

8/18/2014 5:55:06 PM
...SOMETIMES...YOU GOTTA SLAM THAT DAM DOOR SHUT BEFORE YOU CAN OPEN THE WINDOW....


THINGS ARE LOOKING UP! YAY!!

8/3/2014 8:11:25 PM
****Quotes Of The Day****

"If you can't be content with what
you have received,be thankful for
what you have escaped."
-Author Unknown

8/2/2014 9:22:55 PM
lonely...

7/28/2014 2:23:39 PM
....and he's gone, no reason why, no word, nothing. Just gone. 

Why does this keep happening to me?

6/28/2014 1:56:27 PM
Sometimes...things change in the blink of an eye...and all I can say is WTF????

6/3/2014 6:40:45 PM

QUOTE OF THE DAY
We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are. -- Anais Nin.       


5/13/2014 8:19:17 PM

Ok, I added a new pic of the milk dripping...it my not show up just yet.

It's not a great pic, it's hard to take a one handed pic and not lose the drops, lol


5/11/2014 12:54:38 PM

Happy Mother's Day to all of us Mothers!


5/8/2014 10:41:46 PM

I can make 'em squirt!! woohoo!!


5/6/2014 5:31:58 AM
Today's my birthday!! Where's my loot?!?

5/5/2014 5:44:48 PM

toooooooooooooooooooo-morrow! to-morrow! it happens to-morrow! to-morrow is a special day! :o)


5/4/2014 10:07:26 PM

Tuesday....don't forget!!


4/30/2014 8:22:11 PM

"Beneath the makeup and behind the smile I am just a girl who wishes for the world."

                                                              ~~ Marilyn Monroe~~


4/30/2014 6:55:09 PM

The clock Is ticking...where's my presents?! lol


4/26/2014 10:48:51 PM

Oh puh-leeze!! Don't mail me to just talk about sex!! The last time I had sex is none of your business and has nothing to do with my search!!!!!!!!

 

Go watch porn or something..!!

 

Get a friggin life!!


4/20/2014 12:02:32 AM

HAVE A HOPPY EASTER EVERYONE !!


4/17/2014 10:31:52 PM

wtf?? wtf is this new journal thing they got going here?? it's so stupid and totally sux!!


4/17/2014 8:20:11 PM

WELL MY BIRTHDAY IS IN 20 DAYS!! WHAT ALL OF YOU GULLIBLE PAY PIGGIES GONNA GET ME THIS YEAR??

 

( I'm joking...this NEVER works for me! )


3/16/2014 6:27:55 PM

THEY ARE SQUIRTING!!!YAYYYYYY!!!

 

WHEN I SAY "THEY" I'D THINK IT'D BE OBVIOUS I MEAN MY BOOBS, LOL


3/16/2014 4:39:42 PM

HAPPY ST. PATRICKS DAY!


3/10/2014 1:09:44 AM

How do you fall out of love ?

 

Men can turn it on and off like a faucet. And leave me drowning.


2/28/2014 12:34:36 PM

Milk Update:

 

basically the same, but more and more everyday.

 

have got them to quirt a few times, woo!


2/25/2014 9:12:41 PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrIiLvg58SY


2/22/2014 8:04:13 PM

Hello raging masses.

According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about women is their eyes.
And women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.


2/21/2014 8:54:13 AM
You know, when someone dumps you, the least they can do is stay out of your dreams!

2/17/2014 10:50:03 PM

Crazy shit's photo.


2/11/2014 2:01:15 PM

"I'm good enough for those I am good enough for." For all the rest, oh well.


2/9/2014 7:53:09 PM

****Quotes Of The Day****

"Trip over love, you can get up.
Fall in love and you fall forever."
-Author Unknown


2/2/2014 11:36:43 AM

Redneck Vacation

 
Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Luther,

"Yaw know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation.  Only this year I'm gonna do it different.

The last few years, I took your advice about where to go.
 
Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii . I went to Hawaii and Earlene got pregnant.

Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas , and Earlene got pregnant again.
 
Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Earlene didn't get pregnant again."
 
Luther asks Billy Bob, "So, what you gonna do this year that's different.?"

"I'm taking Earlene with me".!

1/30/2014 10:23:01 PM

Lactation Update:

 

Well both boobs have milk! yay! Not to the squirting stage yet, but getting more and more out of them everyday. 

 

I'm ready, tired of all the massaging and supplements!

 

I really need a sucking partner!! lol


1/20/2014 10:17:07 AM

wow, some 'doms' in here sure are assholes!

 

everyone has their own level of kink...just because I'm not into the bullshit they are, they come down on me!

 

WHERE in my profile does it say "hardcore" or  "slave" or anything about wanting to be a doormat or abused or micromanaged?

 

I plainly state I am just a bedroom sub, not lookin to be beat on or anything of that nature.

 

IF YOU FUCKING CAN'T READ...OR CAN'T HANDLE IT...

 

THEN FUCKING MOVE ON ASSHOLE!


SHEESH!!!!

 


1/14/2014 11:11:20 PM

Think I'll give up this fruitless search and just go with the vanilla fella who's been in love with me for years!

 

(he said to bring my blindfold...so there's always hope! )

 

oh...and he's totally turned on by my lactating!

 

I'm too strong willed for a real Dom anyway.

 

and way too smart for the dumbasses who play like they are a dom.

 

oooo...I should call them DOM-asses! lol


1/8/2014 10:34:33 PM

For all those who expressed interest...

 

Update on my efforts to lactate:

 

I have been on the Domperidone, Blessed Thistle and Fenugreek for a week now, also Breast massages, and a breast pump....

 

They are already heavier and firmer...

 

and...

 

VOILA!!  Tonight I got a few drops!!

 

So, it won't be long now til the milk really comes in!

 

Stay tuned!

 

 


1/8/2014 12:22:20 PM

hmmm...now why the hell wont CM let me click thru pics on someone's profile...but I can browse the pics just fine with the "browse photos" tab??


12/24/2013 10:28:39 PM

here ya go!

 

http://www.godvine.com/There-s-Something-Hilarious-About-this-Children-s-Gospel-Quartet-LOL-4259.html

 

and:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8YQqK5e5es

 

YOU"RE WELCOME AND MERRY CHRISTMAS!!


12/23/2013 11:31:25 PM

Merry

Christmas!!


May we all get that one thing we desire the most....

And may there be peace on Earth and happiness for all!


12/10/2013 8:59:19 PM

 

 

Thinkin'.....bout inducing lactation...no, I don't wanna be a hucow or anything...just think it might be sexy for me and my man/dom/lover...should I ever find one!

 

 


12/6/2013 10:04:52 AM

Cuando amor no es locura, no es amor.  (When love is not madness, it is not love.)--  Spanish Proverb


11/28/2013 9:46:25 AM

Daniel Villanueva's photo.


11/18/2013 3:29:13 PM


11/11/2013 6:19:08 PM

Thanks to my brothers, uncles, friends, lovers (past and present and future) for fighting for me and keeping me safe!


11/7/2013 10:16:35 PM

 

How do I turn off my  heart and walk away...and survive?


11/2/2013 10:20:26 PM
This is bad……………………………
 
A Catholic girl went to church and entered the confessional. 
She admitted to the priest, “I’m pregnant.”
He asked, “How did this happen, my child.?”
She said, “I think it must be the second coming.”
The priest, rather shocked by this reply asked, “What makes you think it’s the second coming.?”.
She replied, “Because I swallowed the first  one....”

10/30/2013 12:13:19 PM

wow! A guy jumped my ass at the post office today, because I have a coexist bumper sticker on my back window! Told me he didn't like the idea of us coexisting with Al Queda, Iraq, etc etc,,,his son fought for us, etc etc...I said well I have 2 brothers in the service and one has been deployed 4 times and if we all coexisted, there wouldn't be any reason for all this fighting anyway so kiss my ass! ooo was I mad!


10/29/2013 10:17:56 PM

<3 Hazel


10/26/2013 7:44:42 PM

I don't always talk to Obama voters. But when I do, I ask for large fries.

 

ok you haters....fill my box up with hate, lol


10/26/2013 6:59:00 PM

Never give up. The moment you are ready to give up is usually the moment before miracles happen!
Zig Ziglar Born To Win


10/19/2013 12:47:43 PM

here's a nice friendly note from a worthless piece of welfare raised shit......

 

oh...and of course be blocked me...how chickenshit is that??

 

 

  

From:   This user is on the site now!  
 

   Dated:  

10/19/13 2:35 PM                
 
 
  You are a dumb bitch! Millions of people without health insurance and your dumb ass is complaining about them getting it. You fat bitch! You probably don't know the first thing about the ACA plan and get all your information from some talking head on the radio. You are ridiculous!

10/16/2013 11:57:38 AM

A Crucial Communication to All American Patriots
Watch This Video Now Or else You’ll Hate Yourself Later
http://goo.gl/dzsrD

 

WAKE UP, PEOPLE!!


10/16/2013 11:41:26 AM


10/13/2013 5:11:56 PM


10/9/2013 11:21:36 PM

Ok,  look....when I tell you what I like and don't like...what I'll do and won't do....then don't go all assholyness on me and tell me I have too many contradictions and all that bs.  It's IN MY FRIGGIN PROFILE fer chrissakes!

 

I'm just a bedroom type sub, not into pain or anything disgusting, sick or dangerous.

 

I'm too hardheaded, too self-sufficient and independent to be a doormat, or a slave.

 

What part of redheaded, Taurus, female, German....don't you understand??


10/5/2013 4:38:22 PM


10/5/2013 4:08:31 PM


9/19/2013 7:11:35 PM

It should be against the law to destroy dreams with facts.


9/10/2013 2:11:05 PM

What is fated to be yours will always return to you.


9/5/2013 9:28:22 PM

Words that soak into your ears are whispered… not yelled.


8/30/2013 7:00:22 PM

WHAT'S THE DIFFERANCE BETWEEN A WOMAN ON P.M.S. AND A PITBULL?  

 

WHY, JEWELRY OF COURSE.


8/28/2013 9:25:51 PM
Buried my dad today. Strange day. Mi vida loca RIP dad (Wonder where he ended up )

8/25/2013 9:40:37 PM
My dad passed tonight at 7:10 pm He's at peace now. And so am I.

8/19/2013 1:30:55 PM

...walked past the dog collars and padlocks yesterday....made me feel lonely and unwanted...oh..to be in love and be collared...sigh...


8/9/2013 9:42:33 AM


8/5/2013 11:08:46 AM

Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady afterHis Sunday morning service, and she's in tears.He says, "So what's bothering you, Mary my dear.?"She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news.My husband passed away last night."The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible.Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests.?"She says, "That he did, Father."The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary.? "She says, He said,'Please Mary, put down that damn gun...'


7/27/2013 7:00:50 PM

@[596978250324068:274:Meanwhile In America]


7/25/2013 10:54:18 AM

When a male honey bee climaxes during sex, his testicles explode and he dies.


7/22/2013 1:47:57 PM


7/19/2013 9:54:31 AM

The difference between sex, super sex and love....


Girl asks her mother: What is sex?


Mother: Sex is when you stop a car driven by a man who offers you a meal in a restaurant, and then you spend some time with him in the hotel room, sleep with him once, and then each one go on his way and you have a hundre dollars bill extra in your pocket.


Then the girl asks her mother: What is Super Sex?


Mother: Super sex is when you stop a limousine driven by Chauffeur and a stylish man is sitting in the back who takes you to a luxurious villa, gives you a sumptuous meal with distinctive Caviar...and then you spend the night together in bed and engage in sex more than once, and then you part with an envelope containing a thousand dollars in your pocket.


And then the girl asks her mother: What is love?


Mother: Love is a lie invented by men so that they can have sex with you for free.


7/12/2013 9:28:02 AM

Q: What's the definition of trust? A: Two cannibals giving each other a blowjob.Surprised


6/13/2013 3:09:53 PM

PLEASE guys!! If you're married....pass me by! No way can I respect or play with a married man who plays at being a "Dom" when he's here in town on business!

 

I see that simply as a guy looking to get laid and play around on his wife.  I have BEEN that wife! I'm not gonna be your dirty little secret!

 

And we all know, that as a "Dom" all you're wanting is that bj anyway!


6/10/2013 7:14:04 PM


6/4/2013 5:18:40 PM

...met him...want him....but he's flaking out on me....sigh...............


5/29/2013 10:09:27 PM

 

 

I finally met someone......

(yes, on here!)

 

cautiously hopeful!

 

hope springs eternal!Laughing


5/22/2013 11:55:26 PM

my mood tonight....

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AyAF0UQ4cmk


5/18/2013 12:41:21 PM

 Only in the agony of parting do we look into the depths of love. - George Eliot


5/17/2013 1:59:37 PM

 Q: What's the difference between a woman's zipper and a man's zipper?

A: When a woman unzips her pants, her brains don't fall out!


5/12/2013 8:33:24 PM

If your father is a poor man, it's your fate. But, if your father-in-law is a poor man, it's your stupidity.


5/11/2013 7:26:30 PM

well none of you paypiggies came thru for my birthday! all of you are hereby banned from ever talking to me again!

 

so there!Yell

 

lol

 

(this is just a joke, I don't know any paypiggies! Money Mouth)


5/9/2013 9:12:09 PM

He who takes a partner takes a master. -- French Proverb


5/7/2013 4:01:30 PM


Hello raging masses. A study shows men are hit by lightning four times as often than women. Usually after saying, "I'll call you."


5/6/2013 12:06:47 PM

well, today is my birthday. whoopee


5/5/2013 8:40:00 PM

and now...I get this!!

 

 

From:  

 

 

Dated:

5/5/13 10:37 PM  
 

 

 
  Don't you have anything better to do than annoy the Doms here. It really makes you look very unattractive.

 


5/5/2013 8:28:48 PM

and now he's brave enough to contact me again!

 

so this time i blocked him...AND reported him!

 

what a chicken asshole, and hes not even from the USA!!

 

  From:  
 

Dated:

5/5/13 10:25 PM  
 
 
  Thanks for the laugh. You are such an idiot.

5/5/2013 8:11:18 PM

Here's a judgemental COWARD for you! and of course he blocked me, too scared of an intelligent woman, evidently!  AND he should go back and re-read what he writes, he's the idiot.

 

From:  
 

Dated:

5/5/13 10:07 PM  
 
 
  Yes some of you are considered morons. Especially your recent journal articles. You are all such sore lovers when you don't get it your way. Get over it. He was elected in your cherished democratic way. To criticise it is to criticise your democratic system. Why don't you change the law such that only republicans can run for office and win. Then you could stop whining

5/5/2013 7:25:42 PM
"We Americans are so tired of being thought of as dumb asses
by the rest of the world that we went to the polls this past
November and removed all doubt."

Clint Eastwood

5/5/2013 7:18:31 PM

Guess what tomorrow is!!


5/1/2013 9:41:35 AM

okay paypiggies! my birthday is monday the 6th! who's gonna get me good stuff??

 

(I see this crap on here all the time, thought it was worth a shot! ) lolLaughing


4/27/2013 11:46:01 AM

Sometimes, you wonder if people think with their asses. Sometimes, you know.


4/26/2013 5:58:12 PM

My friend George Jones passed away today. I am beyond sad.Cry He was a very sweet man and was always so kind to me. Rest in Peace, George.

 

We all stopped lovin' her today.


4/23/2013 3:17:04 PM

Hello raging masses. Half the truth is often the whole lie.


4/19/2013 7:26:54 PM

Hello raging masses. Only time can heal your broken heart, just as only time can heal his broken arms and legs.


4/11/2013 9:44:17 AM

heres a rude coward...insults me then blocks me before i can insult him back, lol

 

 

  From:  

 

 

Dated:

4/11/13 11:40 AM  
 

 

 
 

yeah; you need to lose about 100 lbs before you post anymore photos. looking that horrible, why would you flaunt it? is it really that hard to get a little exercise and eat right? absolutely ridiculous...

 

 

Im soooooooo hurrrttt!!!  NOT! Jeez...they sure do let the asshole run rampant on here!


4/7/2013 1:47:39 PM

forgive me...but i HAD to post this, lol


4/5/2013 11:50:46 AM

Just got this one...oh how can I resist this silver tongued devil??

 

From:   This user is on the site now!  
 

Dated:

4/5/13 1:45 PM  
 
 
  hi i,m master leo of Egypt 39 old with 20 year of bdsm experience as master i read your profile and interesting on you so if u really wailing to learn and serve as submissive i wall guide u and training u and help u to explore your submissive side you knows you not worthy of being mine, but you knows I could make you into the whore you need and want.You knows you only a wet hole presently. I know how to manipulate you, I know how you thinks, You know because I told YOU what to be. You have known it before You even started talking to ME. You know YOU not a good girl, and that is why it sickens ME when you pretends to be one. You know you have no purpose without me, You know the connection is so strong that i would be able to make you do anything for me, so if u interesting for my offer add me on yahoo messenger my id is master_nemo2000@yahoo.com

4/1/2013 10:32:42 PM

DID Y'ALL KNOW THAT LAGOS NIGERIA IS IN....ALABAMA!!??

 

Description:

City:

State:

Height:

Weight:

Age:

Orientation:

Ethnicity:

Last Online:

Male Dominant

Lagos Nigeria

Alabama

5'8"

191 lbs

35

Straight

Other

04/01/13


3/30/2013 10:38:40 PM

Hoppy Bunny Day Y'all  !!


3/28/2013 7:38:08 PM

Hello raging masses. There is nothing wrong with making love with the light on, just make sure the car door is closed.


3/27/2013 10:26:03 AM

Trust is like a paper, once it's crumpled it can't be perfect again.


3/26/2013 6:57:23 PM

and............another one bites the dust!

 

 

are there ANY real men on here????????????????


3/19/2013 3:10:20 PM

 This morning I lucked out and was able to buy several cases of ammo. On the way home I stopped at the gas station where a drop-dead gorgeous blonde was filling up her car at the next pump. She looked at the ammo in the back of my PICKUP and said in a very sexy voice, "I'm a big believer in barter, big boy. Would you be interested in trading sex for ammo? I thought a few seconds and asked, "What kinda ammo ya got?"

 


3/17/2013 7:55:36 PM

Update: for all of you who are waiting for this coming weekend when I was supposed to meet "someone"...well he has cancelled due to his health. I doubt we will ever meet. 

 

And then there is another here I was interested in...but every time I asked for a pic, he'd run and hide. And today I see he removed his profile.

 

There was another I was planning to meet friday, but he has gone out of town to work. I have a feeling he's not very interested anymore anyway, despite what he says.   sigh....

 

So, I'll keep waiting for the one I want..He knows who he is, I've been waiting for 8 years now. He knows I look around and meet others, He's not intimidated or threatened. He tells me He has no competition...and laughs.

 

So, dear followers, I'm not any closer nor any farther from that collar than I was last week, lol

 

 

 


3/17/2013 3:08:43 PM

Hello raging masses. I'm single by choice. Not my choice.


3/15/2013 10:25:03 AM

A married couple goes to a marriage counselor to work out some problems.The counselor sits them on the couch and says, "Let's start by talking about what you both have in common."

The husband says, "Well for starters, neither one of us sucks dick ..!"


3/11/2013 4:13:39 PM
 
 for some reason...this is soooo sexy!
  • ‎ring n cuff.jpg20.7KB
 

 

 
 
 
 
 

 

 

 


3/10/2013 10:31:03 PM

A MAN IN A FLORIDA SUPERMARKET TRIES TO BUY HALF A HEAD OF LETTUCE.

 

THE VERY YOUNG PRODUCE ASSISTANT TELLS HIM THAT THEY SELL ONLY WHOLEHEADS OF LETTUCE.THE MAN PERSISTS AND ASKS TO SEE THE MANAGER.THE BOY SAYS HE'LL ASK HIS MANAGER ABOUT IT.WALKING INTO THE BACK ROOM, THE BOY SAID TO HIS MANAGER,'SOME ASSHOLE WANTS TO BUY HALF A HEAD OF LETTUCE.'AS HE FINISHED HIS SENTENCE, HE TURNED TO FIND THE MANSTANDING RIGHT BEHIND HIM, SO HE ADDED,'AND THIS GENTLEMAN HAS KINDLY OFFERED TO BUY THE OTHER HALF.'THE MANAGER APPROVED THE DEAL, AND THE MAN WENT ON HIS WAY.LATER THE MANAGER SAID TO THE BOY,'I WAS IMPRESSED WITH THE WAY YOU GOT YOURSELF OUT OF THAT SITUATION EARLIER.WE LIKE PEOPLE WHO THINK ON THEIR FEET HERE.WHERE ARE YOU FROM, SON?'' GREENBAY , WISCONSIN , SIR,' THE BOY REPLIED.'WELL, WHY DID YOU LEAVE GREENBAY ?' THE MANAGER ASKED.THE BOY SAID, 'SIR, THERE'S NOTHING BUT WHORES AND FOOTBALL PLAYERS UP THERE.''REALLY?' SAID THE MANAGER. 'MY WIFE IS FROM GREENBAY .''NO SHIT?' REPLIED THE BOY. 'WHAT POSITION DID SHE PLAY ?'

3/10/2013 3:24:06 PM

Married 3 times

"I was married 3 times" explained the woman to a guy at a bar, "and I'll never marry again. My first 2 husbands died of eating poison mushrooms and my 3rd hubby died of a fractured skull."

"That's a shame." said her friend, "How did it happen?"

"He wouldn't eat the mushrooms."


3/6/2013 6:42:07 PM

Hello raging masses. I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.


3/5/2013 2:05:32 PM

"She is clothed with strength
and dignity, and she laughs
without fear of the future."
-Proverbs 31:25


2/21/2013 11:00:16 PM

Q: What's the difference between men and horny alley cats?
A: Men are taller.


2/18/2013 9:00:19 PM

sometimes...things can get pretty ok!


2/17/2013 10:31:18 AM

Look guys...just because you come to my town on biz or whatever...that doesn't mean I'm gonna go to your hotel room and fall into bed or bondage with you! GET REAL!!

 

And if you are married and hoping for a fuckbuddy when you come here...ain't happening!!

 

I'm not that easy and I'm certainly NOT that stupid!


2/15/2013 9:00:03 PM

Hello raging masses. I must be anorexic because when anorexics look in the mirror they see a fat person, and so do I.


2/13/2013 1:38:11 PM

He who is not impatient is not in love. -- Italian Proverb


2/9/2013 7:43:46 PM

love it ~Lis


2/8/2013 10:33:21 AM

****Quotes Of The Day****

"It matters not
who you love,
where you love,
why you love,
when you love,
or how you love,
It matters only
that You love."
-John Lennon


2/1/2013 9:55:48 PM

Hello raging masses. You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can't possibly live long enough to make them all yourself.


1/28/2013 7:44:12 AM

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.


1/27/2013 8:02:16 PM

well heres one that just makes me wanna pack my pannies and run to austin!...NOT!!

 

From:  
 

Dated:

1/27/13 9:41 PM  
 
 
  hello, 40yr old dom english guy nr. austin, TX. ANSWER ME U FAT COW.

1/27/2013 6:47:37 PM

****Quotes Of The Day****

"Life would be perfect if:
Mondays were fun,
junk food was healthy,
drama didn't exist,and goodbyes
were only until tomorrow."
-Unknown


1/25/2013 2:05:15 PM

Hello raging masses. The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness and kindness, can be trained to do most things.


1/21/2013 7:06:13 AM

Hello raging masses.

Man can read maps better than women. Because only the male
mind could conceive of one inch equaling hundred miles.


1/18/2013 9:34:38 PM
In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the Mystic delivered grave news:

"There's no easy way to tell you this, so I'll just be blunt. Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year."

Visibly shaken, the wife stared at the woman's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands.

She took a few deep breaths to compose herself - and to stop her mind racing. She simply had to know.


 
 

She met the Fortune Teller's gaze, steadied her voice and asked, "Will I be acquitted?"

 

 

1/16/2013 4:07:42 PM

Photo


1/16/2013 4:01:05 PM

"Forgiveness is unlocking the
door to set someone free and
realizing you were the prisoner."
-Max Lucado


1/15/2013 3:35:13 PM

Hello raging masses. A poll showed that two out of five men would rather have love than money or health.
Yeah, that's what ever women wants, a broke sick guy.


1/14/2013 4:39:44 PM

Every path has its puddle. -- English Proverb


1/12/2013 5:56:38 PM

Q: What's a dildo farmer's greatest threat?
A: Squatters.


1/8/2013 9:44:27 AM

A young lady came home from a date looking rather sad. She told her mother, "Arthur proposed to me an hour ago."

"Then why are you so sad?" her mother asked.

"Because he also told me he was an atheist. Mom, he doesn't even believe there's a hell."

Her mother replied, "Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, we'll show him how wrong he is."


1/5/2013 4:10:20 PM

Q: What did Speedy Gonzales say to his wife on their honeymoon?
A: This won't hurt, did it?


12/31/2012 11:20:58 AM
Daily Joke

Insane Asylum

Late one night at the insane asylum one inmate shouted, "I am Napoleon!"

Another one said, "How do you know?"

The first inmate said, "God told me!"

Just then, a voice from another room shouted, "I did NOT!!!"


12/28/2012 5:26:08 PM

Hello raging masses.

The only gracious way to accept an insult is to ignore it,

if you can't ignore it,

top it,
if you can't top it,

laugh at it,

if you can't laugh at it,

its probably deserved.


12/27/2012 7:12:47 PM

Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing nothing.

One lady turns and asks, "Do you still get horny?

"The other replies, "Oh sure I do. "

The first old lady asks, "What do you do about it? "

The second old lady replies, "I suck a lifesaver. "

After a few moments, the first old lady asks, "Who drives you to the beach? "


12/25/2012 8:47:23 PM

A huge guy marries a tiny girl, and at the wedding, one of his friends says to him, "How the hell do the two of you have sex?" The big guy says, "I just sit there naked on a chair, she sits on top, and I bob her up and down." His friend says, "You know, that doesn't sound too bad."

The big guy says, "Well, it's kind of like jerking off, only I got somebody to talk to."


12/24/2012 4:26:06 PM

Photo: My favorite Christmas Card!  Love ya.

 

 

TONIGHT!! 7pm CST on TBS!! That's where you'll find me this evening! lol


12/23/2012 10:48:11 PM

 

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

http://www.flixxy.com/digital-christmas-story.htm

 

and one of my faves:

 

 

 

 

and its not Christmas without...

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pg7HvF3a_Iw

 

NOW it's Christmas!!


12/23/2012 4:08:41 PM

Australia....this should make you so proud this jerk is one of you~!

From:  
 

Dated:

12/23/12 4:54 PM  
 
 
 

OH CONM'ON MOBODYB WIATH ANY BRAAINS WOULD OFFER YOU ANYTHING BUT AA DIET. YOU ARE TOO ANCIENT & FAT!!!!

FAT IS UGLY!!!!!!

 

Of course, when I replied, then blocked him, he emailed me more filth under another name, SugarDaddy4SB...I won't copy that here, as it was pretty vile. Needless to say, he's been reported and blocked.

 

Just thought I'd share.


12/19/2012 10:45:12 PM

Q: A brunette, a blonde and a redhead are all in fifth grade. Who has the biggest boobs?
A: The blonde, because she's 18.


12/18/2012 5:37:27 PM

"There's nothing sadder in
this world than to awake Christmas
morning and not be a child."
-Erma Bombeck


12/15/2012 11:09:19 AM

When you have no choice, mobilize the spirit of courage. -- Jewish Proverb


12/13/2012 6:26:59 PM

 Dear Santa,


How are you? How is Mrs. Claus? I hope everyone, from the

reindeer to the elves, is fine. I have been a very good boy this year. I

would like an X-Box 360 with Call of Duty IV and an iPhone 4 for

Christmas. I hope you remember that come Christmas Day.

Merry Christmas,

Timmy Jones

* *



Dear Timmy,

Thank you for you letter. Mrs. Claus, the reindeer and the elves are all

fine and thank you for asking about them. Santa is a little worried all the

time you spend playing video games and texting. Santa wouldn't want you to

get fat. Since you have indeed been a good boy, I think I'll bring you

something you can go outside and play with.

Merry Christmas,

Santa Claus

* *

Mr. Claus,

Seeing that I have fulfilled the "naughty vs. Nice" contract,

set by you I might add, I feel confident that you can see your way clear to

granting me what I have asked for. I certainly wouldn't want to turn this

joyous season into one of litigation. Also, don't you think that a jibe at

my weight coming from an overweight man who goes out once a year is a bit

trite?

Respectfully,

Tim Jones

* *



Mr. Jones,

While I have acknowledged you have met the "nice" criteria,

need I remind you that your Christmas list is a request and in no way is it

a guarantee of services provided. Should you wish to pursue legal action,

well that is your right. Please know, however, that my attorney's have been

on retainer ever since the Burgermeister Meisterburger incident and will be

more than happy to take you on in open court. Additionally, the exercise I

alluded to will not only improve your health, but also improve your social

skills and potentially help clear up a complexion that looks like the

bottom of the Burger King fry bin most days.

Very Truly Yours,

S Claus

* *



Now look here Fat Man,

I told you what I want and I expect you to bring it. I was

attempting to be polite about this but you brought my looks and my friends

into this. Now you just be disrespecting me. I'm about to tweet my boys

and we're gonna be waiting for your fat ass and I'm taking my game console,

my game, my phone, and whatever else I want. WHAT EVER I WANT, MAN!

T-Bone

* *



Listen Pizza Face,

Seriously??? You think a dude that breaks into every house in the world on

one night and never gets caught sweats a skinny G-banger wannabe? "He sees

you when you're sleeping; He knows when you're awake". Sound familiar,

genius? You know what kind of resources I have at my disposal. I got you

wired, Jack. I go all around the world and see ways to hurt people

that if I described them right now, you'd throw up your Totino's pizza roll

all over the carpet of your mom's basement. You're not getting what you

asked for, but I'm still stopping by your crib to stomp a mud hole in

you're ass and then walk it dry. Chew on that, Petunia.

S Clizzy

* *



Dear Santa,

Bring me whatever you see fit. I'll appreciate anything.

Timmy

* *



Timmy,

That's what I thought you little bastard.

Santa


12/4/2012 3:46:35 PM

Hello raging masses. Wild horses couldn't drag a secret out of a woman. However women seldom have lunch with wild horses.


12/2/2012 12:39:34 PM


Q: Why do men ask for a woman's hand in marriage?
A: Because they are tired of using their own.


11/23/2012 10:28:29 AM

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.


11/22/2012 8:39:24 PM

New word:

 
Here is a new word to add to your vocabulary.
 
It will be especially useful to us senior folks!
 
 
Exhaustipated
 
 
 
 
Just too tired to give a shit.

11/22/2012 11:03:45 AM

There is no economy in going to bed early to save candles if the result is twins. -- Chinese Proverb


11/22/2012 10:44:39 AM

HAPPY TURKEY DAY Y'ALL!


11/21/2012 4:51:34 PM

Since we cannot get what we like, let us like what we can get. -- Spanish Proverb


11/20/2012 5:05:05 PM

Gonna start myChristmas cards thursday after dinner...if you want one shoot me a cmail! Laughing


11/17/2012 5:26:44 PM

wow...just got blocked because i said u and not YOU...grow up you petty asshole!


11/17/2012 11:55:21 AM

this is the nice message I got today...disgusting...I reported him.

From:  

 

 

   Dated:  

11/17/12 12:32 PM  
 

 

 
  And so are you, you fat slut. I would love to live near such a fat ass granny whore, and come to your home on Saturday and Sunday mornings and spank your fat ass, nigga rape, use and abuse your cunt and butt hole, and force you to have lesbo sex with your granddaughters before forcing them to suck your wet honky granny juices from my big nigga beef.

You're one hot honky, nigga loving, nut dump.

11/16/2012 10:41:11 PM

wow...I've had 2 "doms" call me names today because I wouldn't have cyber sex with them. How domly is that??

 

Save me from these morons!


11/14/2012 11:42:31 AM

Revenge is a confession of pain. -- Latin Proverb


11/7/2012 8:46:59 PM

A wiseass is just a smartass with experience!


11/6/2012 10:50:48 PM
Oh America! What were you thinking??? Omg. Omg what have you done??

11/2/2012 5:45:21 PM

You can outdistance that which is running after you, but not what is running inside you.


10/31/2012 6:38:51 PM

HockeyDominant

...stay where you are!! TEXAS doesn't want your rude ass in our state!!


10/30/2012 4:31:05 PM

Q: How are tornadoes and marriage alike?
A: They both begin with a lot of sucking and blowing, and in the end you lose your house.


10/28/2012 11:25:02 PM

GOT THIS TODAY....I LAUGHED, HE BLOCKED ME...IMAGINE THAT, LOL

 

Hi Master1111 from collarme here if you mean what you say in your profile and your real and want real life then I take it your real and are sub all the time not just when your owned and don't turn this lifestyle off and on like that. If your real and ready for a Master real life not online games you will tell me your yahoo messenger screen name so I can IM you now you will have your web cam on and be sitting there ready for me to I im you. Not for games not for anything but real life and such.


10/27/2012 10:05:16 AM

Never rely on the glory of the morning or the smiles of your mother-in-law. -- Japanese Proverb


10/18/2012 8:20:46 PM

Dear Tequila, I love you, but we had an agreement. You were supposed to make me sexier & a better dancer. I saw the video. We need to talk...


10/15/2012 4:49:52 PM
Disregard that yahoo ID I put up. Bastard hacked that too. Gonna have to close this and make a new profile. He got everything. I'm so friggin mad!!

10/14/2012 7:58:08 PM

I just got hacked bigtime...if any of you want my new yahoo ID and email addy, please let me know.


10/14/2012 5:47:31 PM

Sometime this year, we taxpayers could again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment.

 

This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by using a Q & A format:

 

Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

 

Q.. Where will the government get this money ?
A. From taxpayers.

 

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ?
A. Only a smidgen of it.

 

Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?
A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase ahigh-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

 

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
A. Shut up.

 

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. Economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:

 

* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka .

 

* If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to theArabs.

 

* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or  China .

 

* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico ,  Honduras and Guatemala .

 

* If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea .

 

* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .

 

* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

 

Instead, keep the money in America by:

 

1) Spending it at yard sales, or

2) Going to ball games, or

3) Spending it on prostitutes, or

4) Beer or

5) Tattoos.

 

(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S. )

 

Conclusion:

Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day !


No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help.
 
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 


10/9/2012 10:40:59 PM

A bridge never crossed is like a life never lived.


10/5/2012 10:31:52 PM

anybody see Nancy Grace's necklace on her mysteries show tonight? handcuffs!!....mmmmmmmmmm


9/30/2012 12:53:36 PM

Everybody repeat after me.....

"We are all individuals."


9/24/2012 5:06:41 PM

An old couple were sitting in their rocking chairs on the verandah and the old guy leaned over and said to the woman - "F*ck you".

She rocked back and forth for a bit then leaned to him and said "F*ck you too".

They rocked on in silence and some 10 minutes later she leaned over and said "I don't think much of this oral sex, do you?"


9/20/2012 10:42:35 PM
Paradoxical Quote of The Day From Ben Stein:
 
 
 
"Fathom the hypocrisy of a government that requires every citizen to prove they are insured... but not everyone must prove they are a citizen."
 
 
 
Now add this, "Many of those who refuse, or are unable, to prove they are citizens will receive free insurance paid for by those who are forced to buy insurance because they are citizens."
 
 
 
Think about it when you vote in November !




9/20/2012 4:16:32 PM

rongr...you have me blocked


9/19/2012 11:01:44 PM

Never have sex with a stranger unless you are stranger than them.


9/19/2012 5:15:19 AM

"When the power of love overcomes the
love of power, the world will know peace."
                                              -Jimi Hendrix


9/18/2012 5:47:40 PM

Irish proverb:
It is in the shelter of each other that the people live.


9/17/2012 5:05:19 PM

Hello raging masses. If thine enemy offend thee, give his child a drum.


9/11/2012 2:26:25 PM

Author: Paul Valery
The best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up.
 


9/10/2012 8:13:25 AM

Where there is love, there is pain. -- Spanish Proverb


9/9/2012 10:01:13 PM

"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me...Anything can happen, child. Anything can be." -Shel Silverstein


9/9/2012 11:58:37 AM

Do not learn to desire what one does not deserve.


9/8/2012 5:41:33 PM

Hello raging masses. Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.


9/7/2012 11:48:07 PM
What is greater than God, More evil than the devil, The poor have it, The rich need it, And if you eat it, you'll die?   

9/7/2012 4:31:20 PM

I'm getting so absent minded that sometimes in the middle of a sentence I


9/6/2012 11:59:59 PM

"Do one thing everyday that scares you."
-Eleanor Roosevelt


9/4/2012 9:23:38 PM


 

 
 
*PARAPROSDOKIANS:

(Winston Churchill loved them) are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous.


1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.

3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a  fruit salad.

8. They begin the evening news with 'Good Evening,' then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

10. Buses stop in bus stations. Trains stop in train stations. On my desk is a work station.

11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.

12. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'

13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

17. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

18. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

19. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

20. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

21. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

22. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

23. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

24. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

25. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

26. Where there's a will, there are relatives.*
*
And mine is.........
I'm supposed to respect my elders, but its getting harder and harder for me to find one now.*
 
 
 

9/3/2012 3:57:35 PM

Author: George Eliot
It is never too late to be what you might have been.


8/30/2012 9:14:51 AM

Truth is often disguised as jest.


8/30/2012 12:20:42 AM

Fool me once, shame on you.

Fool me twice, shame on me.

Fool me 350,000 times, you are the weather forecaster.


8/29/2012 4:10:08 PM

Everyone has a right to be stupid. Some just abuse the privilege.


8/25/2012 8:55:15 PM

“Words that soak into your ears are whispered…....not yelled.”


8/23/2012 9:15:33 AM

Author: Will Rogers
Why not go out on a limb? That's where the fruit is.


8/22/2012 10:39:16 PM

Author: Marty Rubin
What is love after all but trusting in the unknown.


8/20/2012 6:58:17 PM

Here are the top nine comments made by NBC sports commentators during the Summer Olympics that they would like to take back:

1. Weightlifting commentator: "This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria . I saw
her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing."

2. Dressage commentator: "This is really a lovely horse and I speak
from personal experience since I once mounted her mother."

3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially
my mother and father."

4. Boxing Analyst: "Sure there have been injuries, and even some
deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious."

5. Softball announcer: "If history repeats itself, I should think we
can expect the same thing again."

6. Basketball analyst: "He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't
like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces."

7. At the rowing medal ceremony: "Ah, isn't that nice, the wife
of the IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew."

8. Soccer commentator: "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like
they've got eleven Dicks on the field."

9. Tennis commentator: "One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is
that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them...
Oh my God, what have I just said?"

8/20/2012 6:50:59 PM

A pessimist is never disappointed.


8/19/2012 5:24:21 PM

According to a new survey, 76 percent of men said what they look for most in a woman is a sense of humor and a good personality...

This was a survey published in "Full Of Shit Magazine."


8/19/2012 5:22:28 PM

Q: Why do most men prefer women with big tits and tight twats?
A: Because most men have big mouths and small dicks.


8/18/2012 1:55:04 PM

Why do women fake orgasms.?
Because they think men care.


8/17/2012 4:10:43 PM

Hello raging masses. I think NASCAR would be much more exiting if, like a skating rink,
every fifteen minutes someone announced it was time to reverse direction.


8/17/2012 9:37:08 AM

Here's your (not so) totally useless fact(s) of the day:

 
Before 1774, in England, it was possible to take out life insurance on a
complete stranger, go kill them, and collect.

 
(give ya any ideas??) lol

8/15/2012 8:38:23 PM

ooooooo let me tell ya about this sicko who just messaged me!

 

His wonderful name is intelligent perv....

 

asked me what i thought about k-9

 

be honest....

 

and when i said...as long as its you fuckin your dog and not me, im ok with it...he insulted me and blocked me!! well...jeez!!

 

he told me to be  honest and i was!

 

make up your friggin mind, you sick asshole!


8/15/2012 3:43:40 PM

Visits always give pleasure, if not the arrival, the departure. -- Portuguese Proverb


8/14/2012 5:22:25 PM

Q: What's a clitoris?
A: A female hood ornament.


8/12/2012 3:47:42 PM

Hello raging masses. If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door.


8/10/2012 3:16:33 PM

Hello raging masses. Airline hostesses show you how to use a seatbelt in case you haven't been in a car since 1965.


8/9/2012 9:10:54 AM

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband.


8/8/2012 6:22:20 PM

Hello raging masses.

If you want to know how old a woman is, ask her sister-in-law.
 


8/7/2012 8:24:56 PM

Hello raging masses.

I want to share something with you.

The three little sentences that will get you thru life.
1. Cover for me.

2. Oh, good idea boss.

3. It was like that when I got here.


8/4/2012 6:02:37 PM

Author: Richard Bach
Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished. If you're alive, it isn't.


7/31/2012 9:12:44 PM

A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in.

"Mother, where do babies come from?"

The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, "Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug and have sex."

The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, "That means the daddy puts his pe-nis in the mommy's vag-ina. That's how you get a baby, honey." The child seems to comprehend.

"Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy's pe-nis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?"

"Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry."Wink


7/27/2012 8:11:09 PM

Hello raging masses.

Always skimp on your wedding dress.
Why spend a lot of money on something you're only going to wear five or six times?


7/26/2012 3:15:57 PM

Hello raging masses. I hear voices in my head. I don't worry about it because that's where my ears are.


7/26/2012 10:54:11 AM

The sinning is the best part of repentance. -- Arabic Proverb


7/25/2012 3:15:39 PM

Hello raging masses. I figured out Victoria's Secret. Starvation and liposuction.


7/22/2012 9:18:38 PM

7/22/2012 3:10:42 PM

so, feel free to win that lotto and set me up for life, ok?Money Mouth


7/22/2012 2:01:23 PM

 Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always
one more time.

 

                              Author: Maya Angelou


7/19/2012 4:26:16 PM

Hello raging masses. Have you heard the latest bad news? The phone company is going to start charging us when we talk to ourselves.Foot in Mouth


7/15/2012 11:32:54 PM

Sometimes....life is just bullshit.

 

There, I said it.Tongue Out


7/12/2012 11:41:31 PM

A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot.

There was a sign on the cage that said $20.00.


"Why so little?" she asked the pet store owner.

The owner looked at her and said,

"Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of prostitution, and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff."


The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird anyway.


She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room, and waited for it to say something.

The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, "New house, new madam."


The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought "that's really not so bad."

When her two teenage daughters returned from school,

the bird saw them and said,

"New house, new madam, new girls."

The girls and the woman were a bit offended,

but then they began to laugh about the situation considering how and where the parrot had been raised.

 

 

 

Moments later, the woman's husband, Keith,

came home from work.


The bird looked at him and said,

"Hi Keith."

7/12/2012 10:56:23 PM

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?


7/5/2012 7:28:36 AM

Q: What's the definition of irreconcilable differences?
A: When she's melting down her wedding ring to cast it into a bullet.


7/4/2012 9:08:45 PM

Hope y'all had a happy 4th!


6/26/2012 1:24:59 PM

Q: What Did One Gay Frog Say To The Other Gay Frog???
A: Oh You Really Do Taste Like Chicken.


6/24/2012 1:51:59 PM

Good girls say, "No." Bad girls say, "When?"


6/22/2012 12:12:33 AM

Here's your (not so) totally useless fact(s) of the day:


Ants keep slaves. Certain species, the so-called sanguinary ants for example, raid the nests of other ant tribes, kill the queen, and kidnap many of the workers. The workers are brought back to the captors' hive, where they are coerced into performing menial tasks.
 
 

6/21/2012 10:26:59 PM

oh lordy! the fakes!


6/15/2012 11:25:36 PM

What ever happened to having a little class? Jeeeezzz!


6/13/2012 8:41:48 PM

Getting a Hairdryer Through Customs.

An attractive young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the Priest
beside her, 'Father, may I ask a favor?' '
'Of course child. What may I do for you?'

'Well, I bought my mother an expensive hair dryer for her birthday.
It is unopened but well over the Customs limits and I'm afraid  they'll confiscate it.

Is there any way you could carry it through customs for me? Hide it
under your Robes perhaps?'

'I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you, I will not lie.'

'With your honest face, Father, no one will  question you.'

When they got to Customs, she let the priest go first. The official  asked,
'Father, do you have anything to declare?'

'From the top of my head down to my waist I have nothing to declare.'

The official thought this answer strange, so asked, 'And what do
you have to declare from your waist to the floor?'

'I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman,  but which is, to date, unused.'

Roaring with laughter, the official said, 'Go ahead, Father.
 
Next please!'


6/2/2012 12:16:09 PM

We know the worth of a thing when we have lost it. -- French Proverb


6/1/2012 8:00:37 PM

Sometimes things get as messed up as a pile of hangers!


5/19/2012 12:46:54 PM

There was a young couple living in an old run down house. One day the man gets home from work and his wife says, “Honey, look at the walls. They haven’t been painted as long as we have lived here. It’s peeling and cracking; couldn’t you please just paint them?”
“Who do I look like? Michelangelo?” the man replies.

“I guess not”, says the wife.

The next day the man gets back from work again. Again his wife starts to complain. “Oh sugar, couldn’t you just please at least repair the stairs? They’re falling apart and they’re really unsafe to walk up.”

The man says, “Who do I look like? Frank Lloyd Wright?”

“Well, maybe not,” says the wife.

The next week the man returns from his job. He walks into his house and is suddenly amazed. The stairs are fixed, the walls were painted and the house looked superb. “Honey…..How did you do this? It looks great!” he says. “Well I met up with a handyman down the street. He offered to repair our house if I either bake him a batch of brownies or sleep with him” says the wife.

“Well, honey, you baked the batch of brownies, right?”

The wife replies, “Who do I look like, Sara Lee?”


5/18/2012 9:46:51 AM

After a busy day, and just as everyone was settling down for a nap on the train for home, a man sitting

in the midst hauled out his cell phone and started up a loud, lengthy conversation:

"Hi darling, it's Bob... I'm on the train...Yes, I know it's the 6:30 not the 4:30, but I had a long meeting...

 

No, not with that floozie from the typing pool, with the boss... No, darling, you're the only one in my life...

 

Yes, I'm sure, cross my heart, etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., blah, blah, blah . . ."

When this went on more than 15 minutes, a young woman sitting opposite him, driven beyond endurance, 

 

yelled at the top of her voice,

 


"Hey, Bob! Turn off that phone and come back to bed.!"

 


5/16/2012 7:37:54 PM

Q: How do you cancel an appointment at the sperm bank?
A: You call them up and tell them you can't come.


5/6/2012 1:23:15 PM
Happy birthday to me!! I took myself to Niagra Falls! :0)

4/30/2012 4:32:42 PM

Here's your (not so) totally useless fact(s) of the day:


The Ramses brand condom is named after the great Pharaoh Ramses II, who fathered over 160 children!


4/29/2012 3:40:12 PM

Hello raging masses. Never let a panty line show around your ankle.


4/28/2012 8:03:40 PM

A man goes to his psychiatrist complaining about Marriage problems. The shrink asks him, "Do you talk to your wife during sex?"

"Sure," says the guy, "I've got a cell phone!"



4/20/2012 7:42:10 PM

The Pope had become very ill and was taken to many doctors, none of who could figure out how to cure him. Finally he was brought to an old physician. After about an hour's examination the physician came out and told the cardinals that he had some good news and some bad news.

The bad news was that the pope had a rare disorder of the testicles, which if left untreated, would be fatal. The good news was that all the Pope had to do to be cured, was to have sex.

Well, this was not good news to the cardinals, who argued about it at length. Finally they went to the Pope with the doctor and explained the situation.

After some thought, the Pope stated, "I agree, but under four conditions."

The cardinals were amazed and there arose quite an uproar. Over the noise a single voice asked, "And what are the four conditions?"

The room stilled. There was a long pause....

The Pope replied, "First the girl must be blind, so that she cannot see with whom she is having sex."

"Second, she must be deaf, so that she cannot hear with whom she is having sex."

"And third, she must be mute so that if somehow she figures out with whom she is having sex, she can tell no one."

After another long pause a voice arose and asked,

"And the fourth condition?"

The Pope replied, "Big tits."


4/18/2012 11:57:10 PM

RIP Dick Clark....we're gonna miss you!

 

HEAVEN IS ROCKIN TONIGHT!


4/15/2012 12:13:15 AM

Don't come at me with a domineering asshole attitude and try to convince me that's how it is for all doms.

 

Ain't so.

 

Some are actually HUMAN!

 

BIG HUGE difference between dominating and domineering.

 

Read up on it...you might be surprised!


4/11/2012 6:18:51 PM

What's sexy to me?

 

It's what is between your ears.

What beats inside your chest.

That twinkle in your eye.

Your great sense of humor.

The strength in your arms.

The gentleness of your kiss.

The weakness you bring to my knees.

 

What's sexy to me?

 

A dominant man.

An alpha male.

A mentor, guide, teacher.

Lover.

Best friend.

 

What's sexy to me?

 

If you can look inside me, and stay.

 

 


4/9/2012 11:31:44 PM

ARMYOFFICER.....I'd answer ya, but you blocked me, lol


4/3/2012 9:26:32 PM

Mom's message on her answering machine....

 

"Hi, this is D******, I can't come to the phone right now, I'm all tied up. If you'll leave your name and number, I'll call you back when I get untied."

 

 

My mom will be 77 in June.

 

Gotta love her! lol

 

( wonders if maybe I get my kink from her...? )


4/2/2012 9:36:25 AM

Good Girls, Bad Girls And Naughty Girls

Good girls loosen a few buttons when its hot
Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons
Naughty girls unbutton your pants

Good girls wax their floors
Bad girls wax their bikini line
Naughty girls wax your nutsack

Good girls blush during sex scenes in movies
Bad girls know they could do it better
Naughty girls do it with whips and chains

Good girls wear white cotton panties
Bad girls don't wear any
Naughty girls don't really give a shit

Good girls think they're not fully dressed without a strand of pearls
Bad girls think they're fully dressed with just a strand of pearls
Naughty girls want a " pearl necklace "

Good girls pack their toothbrush
Bad girls pack their diaphragms
Naughty girls pack their dildos

Good girls own only one credit card and rarely use it
Bad girls own only one bra and rarely use it
Naughty girls own the entire Fantasia collection

Good girls wear high heels to work
Bad girls wear high heels to bed
Naughty girls make you wear high heels

Good girls think the office is the wrong place to have a romance
Bad girls think no place is the wrong place
Naughty girls have sex all over the place

Good girls prefer the missionary position
Bad girls do too, but only for starters
Naughty girls add some new chapters in the Kama Sutra

Good girls say no
Bad girls say when?
Naughty girls don't say anything, they just moan and scream a lot.

Good girls go to the party, go home, then go to bed.
Bad girls go to the party, go to bed and then go home.
Naughty girls go to the party, hit on every guy there and then go home with two of them.


3/28/2012 11:50:51 PM

dang!! what happened to all the cool emoticons??


3/26/2012 4:06:51 PM

Hooray for Florida!  (Just hope they don’t come to Texas)

                      I-95 and I-75 will be jammed for the next month or so with druggies and deadbeats heading North out of Florida, because this is the first state in the union to require drug testing to receive welfare!
                          

                      Hooray for Florida!  In signing the new law, Republican Gov. Rick Scott said, "If Floridians want welfare, they better make sure they are drug-free".
                      Applicants must pay for the drug test, but are reimbursed if they test drug-free.

                      Applicants who test positive for illicit substances won't be eligible for the funds for a year, or until they undergo treatment.

                      Those who fail a second time will be banned from receiving funds for three years!

                      Naturally, a few people are crying this is unconstitutional.
                      How is this unconstitutional? It's a legal requirement that every person applying for a JOB has to pass drug tests in order to get the JOB, why not those who receive welfare?


                        
                      Forward this if you agree!
                        
                      Let's get welfare back to the ones who NEED it, not to those who WON'T get a JOB.

                      I AGREE, DO YOU ?

                Life is God's gift to you......
                   The way you live it..........  
                       is your gift to God.


3/24/2012 10:56:47 PM

oh jeez! so now I'm 12 yrs old because I WON"T tell you how much I weigh!! get a grip! didn't your mama teach you any manners??


3/21/2012 3:10:51 PM

added a few new pics...see if you can pick them out! lol


3/19/2012 8:43:01 PM

WTF?? Since when does Leno have a mustache??

 

yukkkkkkkkk!

 

oh nevermind, it's a fake.  whew!


3/18/2012 11:11:24 PM

Here's your (not so) totally useless fact of the day: Engineering students at Purdue once built a licking machine that took 364
licks to reach the center of a Tootsie Pop.

 

I WANT ONE!! lol


3/18/2012 10:37:43 PM

IT'S RAINING!!!

 

YAYYYYYY!!!


3/14/2012 11:20:30 PM
Here's your (not so) totally useless fact(s) of the day:
 
13837 x your age x 73 = interesting result. try it.

3/9/2012 9:06:02 PM

{#}I just spent 3 days kissin' and lovin' with someone who really cares about me...even if he is vanilla...it was awesome...!

 

and something I desperately needed!

 

Now I feel better about my self...and life in general.

Sometimes, things happen when they are really needed.

 

 

 

Thanks, baybee....sigh....

(too bad he has no clue about this site, lol)

 


3/3/2012 11:31:24 AM

A woman without a man is like a garden without a fence. -- German Proverb


3/1/2012 4:50:37 PM

It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities
without your help.{#}


2/28/2012 4:30:23 PM

Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.{#}


2/21/2012 11:07:25 PM

 
 

Why Muslim terrorists are so quick to commit suicide.
Everyone seems to be wondering why Muslim terrorists are so quick to commit suicide.
    
Lets have a look at the evidence:
   
- No Christmas
- No television
- No nude women
- No football
- No pork chops
- No hot dogs
- No burgers
No beer
No bacon
- Rags for clothes
- Towels for hats
- Constant wailing from some idiot in a tower
- More than one wife
More than one mother-in-law
- You can't shave
- Your wife can't shave
- You can't wash off the smell of donkey
- You wipe your ass with your hand
- You cook over burning camel shit
- Your wife is picked by someone else for you
- and your wife smells worse than your donkey
Then they tell you that "when you die, it all gets better"??
Well no shit Sherlock.!.... It's not like it could get much worse.





2/17/2012 10:28:30 PM

How do I unwant.....unlove....unkiss you....

when my heart is screaming out for you!

 

 

How do I uncry....unhurt.....undesire....

when my soul is dying for you?

 

 

How do I unmiss.....undream......unlook....

when I search for you everywhere?

 

 

How do I untouch....untaste...unfeel.....

when I can't forget you?

 

 

How do I unlove you?

Where do I put my tears?

What do I do with my heart?

 

 

I wish you'd come back...

and turn my unhappiness into unsadness.

Turn your rejection into unloneliness.

 

 

I wish you'd come back....

and unhurt me.

Why did you unlove me?

 

 

~Me

2/18/2012

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


2/15/2012 6:17:16 PM

Everyday is Saturday to a dog.


2/14/2012 6:14:11 PM

Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you.


2/14/2012 11:59:58 AM

HAPPY HEARTS DAY TO Y'ALL!


2/14/2012 11:58:57 AM

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.


2/9/2012 9:51:41 PM

Here's your (not so) totally useless fact(s) of the day:

 
Oddly enough, the very first high heels were made for soldiers in the 1500s who needed
a way to keep their feet snugly tucked into their stirrups while riding on horseback. 

2/6/2012 10:14:55 PM

http://www.incredibox.fr/


2/5/2012 1:24:10 PM

When Your Ex Says "You'll Never Find Anyone Like Me" ...Reply With:  "Thats The Point" .


2/5/2012 1:15:41 PM

Holy Prostitutes

A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when

he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye....It reads: 

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
10 MILES

He thinks this is a figment of his imagination and drives on

without a second thought....

Soon he sees another sign which reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS 
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
5 MILES

Suddenly he begins to realize that these signs are

for real and drives past a third sign saying:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
NEXT RIGHT

His curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into

the drive. On the far side of the parking lot is a

stone building with a small sign next to the door reading:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS

He climbs the steps and rings the bell. The door

is answered by a nun in a long black habit who asks,

'What may we do for you my son? '

He answers, 'I saw your signs along the highway

and was interested in possibly doing business....'

'Very well my son. Please follow me.' He is led through

many winding passages and is soon quite disoriented.

The nun stops at a closed door and tells the man,

'Please knock on this door.'

He does so and another nun in a long habit, holding

a tin cup answers the door... This nun instructs,

'Please place $100 in the cup then go through

the large wooden door at the end of the hallway.' 

He puts $100 in the cup, eagerly trots down the hall

and slips through the door pulling it shut behind him.

The door locks, and he finds himself back in the

parking lot facing another sign:

GO IN PEACE. 
YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED BY THE SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS.
SERVES YOU RIGHT, YOU SINNER


2/3/2012 3:14:29 PM

What great ideas, especially the last.!
   
 Wow, this girl has a great plan!  Love the last thing she would do the
best.
This was written by a 21 yr old female who gets it.  It's her future 
she's worried about and this is how she feels about the social welfare big
government state that she's being forced to live in!  These solutions are
just common sense in her opinion.
This was in the Waco Tribune Herald, Waco, TX, Nov 18, 2011

 
PUT ME IN CHARGE . . .

Put me in charge of food stamps. I'd get rid of Lone Star cards; no cash
for Ding Dongs or Ho Ho's, just money for 50-pound bags of rice and beans, blocks of cheese and all the powdered milk you can haul away. If you want steak and frozen pizza, then get a job.

Put me in charge of Medicaid. The first thing I'd do is to get women
Norplant birth control implants or tubal legations. Then, we'll test
recipients for drugs, alcohol, and nicotine. If you want to reproduce or use drugs, alcohol, or smoke, then get a job.

Put me in charge of government housing.  Ever live in a military barracks?
You will maintain our property in a clean and good state of repair. 
Your home" will be subject to inspections anytime and possessions will be inventoried.  If you want a plasma TV or Xbox 360, then get a job and your own place.
In addition, you will either present a check stub from a job each week 
or you will report to a "government" job.  It may be cleaning the roadways of trash, painting and repairing public housing, whatever we find for you.  We will sell your 22 inch rims and low profile tires and your blasting stereo and speakers and put that money toward the "common good.."

Before you write that I've violated someone's rights, realize that all  of
the above is voluntary.  If you want our money, accept our rules.  Before you say that this would be "demeaning" and ruin their "self esteem," consider that it wasn't that long ago that taking someone else's money for doing absolutely nothing was demeaning and lowered self esteem.

If we are expected to pay for other people's mistakes we should at 
least attempt to make them learn from their bad choices.  The current system rewards them for continuing to make bad choices.

AND While you are on Gov't subsistence, you no longer can VOTE!  Yes, that is correct.  For you to vote would be a conflict of interest.  You will voluntarily remove yourself from voting while you are receiving a Gov't welfare check.  If you want to vote, then get a job.

Now, if you have the guts - PASS IT ON...!!




1/30/2012 4:27:32 PM

Here's a sicko for y'all......TabooDeviant

 

blocked me because I didn't agree with his views on being an incestuous pedofile.

 

 

{#}

 

I never wanted to boink my dad!  ewwwww!!!

 

 

 

 


1/28/2012 11:01:03 PM
Give me the strength to change the things I can, the grace to accept the things I cannot, and a great big bag of money!

1/10/2012 10:38:14 PM

"Remember that everyone
you meet is afraid of something,
loves something and has lost something."
-H.Jackson Brown,Jr


1/3/2012 9:43:52 PM

you've crushed me
my heart
my soul
my feelings
if this is love
i don't want any

 

i can't handle your silence
your rejection
your mixed messages

 

i guess i don't understand
this game
your attitude
how you can be so mean?

 

i don't like this hole in my chest
this knife in my stomach
these tears in my eyes

 

what happened to the laughter
the fun
the kisses
to us?

 

i'm lost
i'm lonely
so confused

 

hurt
mad
lost

 

just so lost

 

1-3-12


 


12/31/2011 3:26:41 PM

{#}{#}HAPPY{#}{#} NEW {#}{#}YEAR!!{#}{#}


12/27/2011 6:00:02 PM

-No I haven't met Mr.Right yet, but I have met Mr.Fake, Mr.Rude, & Mr.Player.


12/26/2011 4:49:09 PM

Hello raging masses. The day after Christmas, when we all have two more ugly sweaters.


12/24/2011 6:04:55 PM

Here's your (not so) totally useless fact(s) of the day:


If you received all of the gifts in the song "The Twelve Days of Christmas,"
you would receive 364 gifts.
 

{#}{#}{#}{#}{#}{#}{#}{#}

 

MERRY CHRISTMAS !!

 

 


12/17/2011 8:35:43 PM

So ist das meinem einsamen Leben.


12/11/2011 8:21:34 PM

goin crazy in my mind wantin you

goin crazy in my heart needin you

goin crazy knowin there's nothin I can do.

 

 


12/6/2011 7:06:59 PM

When love is not madness, it is not love.


12/2/2011 8:29:44 PM

 

{#}

 

Doin the Christmas card thing...who all wants one??{#}

 

send me your address!


11/23/2011 9:47:57 PM

{#}{#}{#}{#}{#}{#}{#}{#}

 

HAPPY THANKSGIVING Y'ALL!!!

 


11/18/2011 9:46:06 AM

"If you can't be
content with what
you have received,
be thankful for what
you have escaped."
-Author Unknown


11/15/2011 7:29:58 PM

The woman cries before the wedding and the man after. -- Polish Proverb {#}


11/11/2011 8:01:20 PM

Tired of tryin'
Tired of cryin'
Tired of bein a fool.
Tired of wishin'
Tired of wantin'
Tired of waitin on you.
Tired of lonely
Tired of hurtin'
Tired of thinkin' we're through.
Tired of wonderin'
Tired of prayin'
Tired of bein' number 2.
Tired of missin'
Tired of hopin'
Tired of chasin' after you.
Tired of callin'
Tired of textin'
Tired of not hearin' from you.
Tired of thinkin'
Tired of writin'
Tired of wastin' time on you.

Tired of forgivin'
Tired of not livin'
Tired of meanin' nothin' to you.

 

                         11-11-11

                          by me!


11/10/2011 9:39:15 PM

Who travels for love finds a thousand miles not longer than one.{#}

                   - Japanese Proverb


11/7/2011 8:47:33 PM

GRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!

 

 

MEN!!!!{#}


10/30/2011 9:59:57 PM

connection made...all is well...kinda, lol


10/28/2011 10:18:25 PM

on the downward slide that has become my life here lately...{#}


10/27/2011 7:24:13 PM
MEN IN HEAVEN

When everyone on earth was dead and waiting to enter Paradise , God appeared and said, "I want the men to make two lines. One line is for the men who were true heads of their household, and the other line for the men who were dominated by their women.

I want all the women to report to St. Peter."

Soon, the women were gone, and there were two lines of men.

The line of the men who were dominated by their wives was 100 miles long, and in the line of men who truly were heads of their household, there was only one man.

God said, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves! I created you to be the head of your household! You have been disobedient and have not fulfilled your purpose! Of all of you, only one obeyed. Learn from him."

God turned to the one man, "How did you manage to be the only one in this line?"

The man replied, "My wife told me to stand here".



10/19/2011 4:43:54 PM

all's well....I'm happy again!{#}


10/16/2011 6:53:12 PM

here I am again...screaming in a crowded room and no one hears me!

 

so fucking frustrated at that man!

 

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!


10/8/2011 9:13:37 PM

the poem I wrote and posted here WORKED!!

 

(He's not on this site, I emailed it to him last saturday, and he called me the next day!)

 

LIFE IS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!{#}


10/4/2011 10:01:43 PM

Here's your (not so) totally useless fact(s) of the day:

This one isn't really a fact. It's just very cool!

13837 x your age x 73 = interesting result. try it.


9/21/2011 11:16:29 PM

When you look at your past,
don't look at me.
I wasn't there, it wasn't me!
When you cry in your heart,
you're not crying for me,
I didn't break it, it wasn't me!
When you grieve for those things you've lost,
don't blame that hurt on me!
I won't leave you, it won't be me!
but...
When you focus on your future,
please consider me.
I will always love you,
it could always be me.
When you open up your heart,
open it for me!
I can be so good for you,
I hope someday you'll see.
try...
to let go of all that baggage,
look around you and you'll see
that someone right here wants you...
and that someone is...me!
I won't hurt you, won't desert you,
won't ever do you wrong.
If you want someone to love you,
then take a look at me!

 

9-22-2011...written by...me!

 

 

 


9/14/2011 7:18:37 PM

A missed opportunity....a love that should have been...a fear of letting go of the past to take a chance on the future...so sad...so dam sad!

 

just...breathe....

 

come back to me!



9/10/2011 9:15:55 AM

What is fated to be yours will always return to you.


8/25/2011 10:02:23 PM

There are 3 ways to get something done:
1.Do it yourself.
2.Hire someone to do it for you.
3.Forbid your kids to do it.


8/9/2011 9:35:52 AM

Go often to the house of a friend; for weeds soon choke up the unused path. -- Scandanavian Proverb


8/8/2011 10:25:51 PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=znL_jS8xOUk&feature=related

 

nuff said...


7/25/2011 5:47:19 PM

Nothing sadder than an empty collar...and an empty heart...{#}


7/24/2011 10:45:28 AM

To put the world in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must put the family in order; to put the family in order, we must cultivate our personal life; and to cultivate our personal life, we must first set our hearts right.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Every road has two directions. -- Russian Proverb


7/23/2011 7:08:11 PM

Someday your prince charming will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is to stubborn to ask for directions.


7/19/2011 10:09:34 PM

It takes 7 seconds for food to pass from mouth to stomach. A human hair can hold 3kg. The length of a penis is 3 x the length of the thumb. The femur is as hard as concrete. A woman's heart beats faster then a man's. Women blink 2 x as much as men. We use 300 muscles just to keep our balance when we stand. A woman has read this entire post. The man is still looking at his thumb.


7/15/2011 3:48:43 PM

A woman goes to the doctor for her yearly physical.
The nurse starts with certain basic items.
"How much do you weigh?" she asks.
"115," she says.
The nurse puts her on the scale.
It turns out her weight is 140.
The nurse asks, "Your height?"
"5 foot 8," she says.
The nurse checks and sees that she only measures 5' 5".
She then takes her blood pressure
And tells the woman it is very high.
"Of course it's high!" she screams,
"When I came in here I was tall and slender!
Now I'm short and fat!"{#}


7/13/2011 9:11:09 AM

You can only go halfway into the darkest forest; then you are coming out the other side.


7/11/2011 5:26:24 PM

Barack Obama was touring the countryside in his chauffeur-driven limo. 
Suddenly, a donkey jumps out onto the road, they hit it full on and the 
car comes to a stop. Obama says to the chauffeur: 'You get out and check, 
you were driving.' The chauffeur gets out, checks and reports that the 
animal is dead. 
 
 
'You were driving; go and tell the farmer,' says Obama. Hours later, the 
chauffeur returns totally plastered, hair ruffled with a big grin on his 
face. 
 
 
'My god, what happened to you?' asks Obama. 
 
The chauffeur replies: 'When I got there, the farmer opened his best 
bottle of whiskey, the wife gave me a slap-up meal and the daughter made 
love to me.' 
 
 
'What on earth did you say to them?' asks Obama. 
 
'I knocked on the door, and when it was answered, I said to them

 
 
 
'I'm Barack Obama's chauffeur and I've just killed the jackass.'


7/8/2011 9:24:29 PM

cute love quotes 12


7/4/2011 12:17:56 PM

 

HAPPY{#} 4TH{#} Y'ALL!{#}{#}{#}{#}{#}{#}


7/2/2011 11:08:31 PM

My neighbor knocked on my door at 2:30 am this morning, can you believe that.... 2:30 am?!  Luckily for him I was still up playing my
bagpipes.

style="margin-bottom: 12pt; background: white;">  style="background: white;">  style="background: white;">Man calls 911 and says "I think my wife is dead" The style="background: white;">operator says how do you know? He says style="background: white;">"The sex is the same but the ironing is building up! style="background: white;">

 
style="background: white;">I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she style="background: white;">said that I had the biggest penis she had ever laid her style="background: white;">hands on. I said "You're pulling my leg."  style="background: white;">  style="background: white;">  style="background: white;">   I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice!!   style="background: white;">At least I presume she style="background: white;">was poor - she only had $1.20 in her purse. style="background: white;">  style="background: white;">  style="background: white;">   My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. style="background: white;">Well, she's not exactly my style="background: white;">girlfriend yet. style="margin-bottom: 12pt; background: white;"> style="background: white;">  style="background: white;">   Went for my routine checkup today and everything seemed to be going fine
until he stuck his index finger up my ass! Do you think I should change
style="background: white;">dentists? style="margin-bottom: 12pt; background: white;">     style="background: white;">  style="background: white;"> A wife says to her husband you're always pushing me around and talking
behind my back. He says what do you expect? You're in a wheel chair.
style="margin-bottom: 12pt; background: white;">  style="background: white;"> I was explaining to my wife last night that style="background: white;">when you die you get reincarnated but  style="background: white;">must come back as a different creature. She said she would like style="background: white;">to come back as a cow.  I said, "You're obviously not listening. " style="background: white;">  style="margin-bottom: 12pt; background: white;"> 
style="background: white;">   The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. style="background: white;">So I went to the thrift shop to get all her clothes back.

7/1/2011 3:39:30 PM

Barack Obama at a recent rural elementary school assembly in East Texas , asked the audience for total quiet.

Then, in the silence, he started to slowly clap his hands once every few seconds, holding the audience in total silence.

Then he said into the microphone, 'Children, every time I clap my hands together, a child in America dies from gun VI0LENCE.'

Then, little Richard Earl , with a proud East Texas drawl, pierced the quiet and said: ''Well, dumb-ass, stop clapping!'


6/30/2011 5:29:45 PM

A retired man went into the Job Center in downtown Nanaimo British Columbia and saw a card advertising for a Gynecologist's Assistant.
Interested, he went in and asked the clerk for details. The clerk
pulled up the file and read, "The job entails getting the ladies
ready for the gynecologist. You have to help the women out of their
underwear, lay them down and carefully wash their private regions,
then apply shaving foam and gently shave off the hair then rub in
soothing oils so they're ready for the gynecologist's examination.
"The annual salary is $85,000, and you'll have to go to Moose Jaw,
Saskatchewan."{#}


6/28/2011 6:06:46 AM

A Mormon acquaintance once pushed Mark Twain into an argument on the issue of polygamy.

 

After long and tedious expositions justifying the
practice, the Mormon demanded that Twain cite any passage of scripture expressly forbidding polygamy.


"Nothing easier," Twain replied. "No man can serve two masters."


6/25/2011 11:50:48 PM

If I ask You if You love me...what would You say?{#}


6/20/2011 7:11:29 PM

 Author: Enid Bagnold
"One can lie, but truth is more interesting."


6/18/2011 8:09:11 AM

The tide must reach its lowest before it turns.


6/17/2011 4:16:00 PM

A Frenchman and an Italian were seated next to an American on an overseas flight. After a few cocktails, the men began discussing their home lives.


"Last night I made love to my wife four times," the Frenchman bragged, "And this morning she made me delicious crepes and she told me how much she adored me."

"Ah, last night I made love to my wife six times," the Italian responded, "And this morning she made me a wonderful omelet and told me she could never love another man."

When the American remained silent, the Frenchman smugly asked, "And how many times did you make love to your wife last night?"

 

"Only once?" the Italian arrogantly snorted. "And what did she say to you this morning?"
"Don't stop."


6/17/2011 9:29:39 AM

No one can be caught in places he does not visit. -- Danish Proverb


6/16/2011 10:54:51 PM

Here's your (not so) totally useless fact of the day:

On Scooby Doo, Shaggy's real name is Norville Rogers.


6/15/2011 11:45:56 AM

- The world's greatest lover was King Mongut of Siam. He had 9,000 wives.... Before dying of syphilis he was quoted as saying he only loved the first 700....


6/13/2011 7:30:12 PM

know why satan lives in hell and not in hot dry texas??

 

he had a choice!


6/12/2011 2:02:19 PM

Just wondering.... If a ram is a sheep and an ass is a mule, why is a ram in the ass a goose? Just wondering..


6/12/2011 1:48:28 AM
Polk County Florida Sheriff

You  kill a policeman it means no arrest...no Miranda rights...  no  negotiations...     nothing  but as many bullets as we can shoot into  you...  PERIOD.

 
 
 
POLK  COUNTY FLORIDA SHERIFF, GRADY JUDD
 
 
  An  illegal alien, in Polk County, Florida, who got pulled  over in a routine traffic stop,  
  ended  up "executing" the deputy who stopped him.  The deputy  was shot eight times,  
  including  once behind his right ear at close range.  Another  deputy was wounded and a  
  police  dog killed.  A state-wide manhunt  ensued.
 
The murderer was found hiding in a  wooded area.  As soon as he took a shot at the SWAT  
  team,  officers opened fire on him.  They hit the guy 68  times.
 
Naturally, the liberal media went nuts  and asked why they had to shoot the poor,  
  undocumented  immigrant 68 times.
 
Sheriff Grady Judd told the  Orlando Sentinel:   "Because that's all the ammunition we had."   
  
  Now,  is that just about the all-time greatest answer or  what!
 
The Coroner also reported that the  illegal alien died of natural causes.  When  asked by a  
  reporter  how that could be, since there were 68 bullet wounds in his  body, he simply replied:   
  
  (BEST  QUOTE of 2009) . . .  
  
  "When  you are shot 68 times you are naturally gonna  die."

6/10/2011 9:17:04 AM

 "Nothing passes. Everything stays with you. Everything makes it's mark."~~Author: Shelagh Delaney


6/9/2011 3:45:31 PM

Here's your (not so) totally useless fact of the day:

Adolph Hitler did not create the swastika.

The swastika is an ancient religious symbol of good fortune. It was used on
ancient Greek pottery and Mesopotamian coins, Celtic and Scandinavian
artifacts, and art and religious objects from India, China, Egypt, and pre-
Columbian America. Hitler appropriated the swastika and used its mirror
image as a symbol for the Third Reich, causing the swastika to become one
of the most hated symbols in the history of humanity. Since 1945, it has been
illegal to display the swastika in Germany.


6/9/2011 3:39:16 PM

hellloooo forceful1...you blocked me....


6/7/2011 10:28:07 PM

Here's your (not so) totally useless fact of the day:

Frankenstein was not a monster.

In both the 1818 novel (Frankenstein, or the Modern Prometheus, written by
Mary Shelley at age eighteen) and the 1931 movie (Frankenstein starring
Boris Karloff), Frankenstein is the name of Victor Frankenstein, a student of
natural psychology, who creates the monster. In the novel, Frankenstein
names his monster Adam. In the movie, the monster goes unnamed.


6/1/2011 3:01:51 PM

it amazes me the women on this site who demand that others send them things...from money to air conditioners!

 

sheesh!

 

get a job and buy your own stuff like the rest of us!

 

you'll  appreciate it ALOT more!


5/30/2011 12:13:26 AM

Let us remember those, living and dead, who have fought for us so that we are free.
And a special kiss on the cheek to my 2 brothers who serve in the Guard. Love you guys!


5/27/2011 9:33:39 PM

Here's your (not so) totally useless fact of the day:

In 2004, a woman tried to pay a $1,675 tab at a Georgia Wal-Mart with a fake
$1 million bill featuring a picture of the Statue of Liberty.


5/25/2011 10:54:11 AM

WHAT'S THE DIFFERANCE BETWEEN A WOMAN WITH P.M.S. AND A PITBULL? WHY, JEWELRY OF COURSE.


5/12/2011 10:09:37 PM

 

 1st  of ben ladins' 72 virgins! lol

 

dang the pic wont work in here...send me a message if u wanna see it

 

stupid cm!


5/9/2011 11:10:10 PM

So Bin Laden is standing before God waiting to hear his punishment when God gets a tap on the shoulder. There behind him stand 343 firemen, 72 police officers, one officer, 3,000 American citizens & over 5,000 soldiers. "Don't worry God, we got this.

 

(YES I THINK THIS IS GREAT!!)


5/8/2011 9:40:25 PM

let me clarify my point on assholes...

 

i get not 1 but 2 emails from this asshole...

 

"the goober" (how fitting, it means boogar!)   and "nasty slut creator"...wow, now isn't that a wonderful name? makes ya wanna just run into his arms, don't it?? (rolls eyes here)

 

(same guy, 2 names, what a dork)

 

is an asshole who says its ME who bring out the assholiness in these assholes.

 

well jeez, i'm kinda hurt here, he blocked me after he TRIED to insult me...!!

 

didn't work, still laughing...

 

and now you all know this dork has 2 profiles, and thinks women are the reason men are assholes. lol

 

could it be....that he's one...just because !! lololol

 

maybe he didn't get enough tit as a baby...?

 

cuz i bet he sure ain't gettin' laid! lol

 

some men think that if they call themselves a dom, that means they can show their assholiness and we slutty women are just supposed to fall down and swoon...oh puhleeze!!

 

thinks i'll go to bed and laugh myself to sleep now!

 

nite y'all!

 

 

 

 

 

 


5/7/2011 9:07:38 PM

sometimes men are just assholes


5/6/2011 2:48:19 PM
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!

5/5/2011 3:22:32 PM

 

 

Osama's last FB posting!

 


4/23/2011 10:24:40 PM

HAPPY EASTER Y'ALL!!


4/21/2011 9:59:29 PM

...sometimes...this desire just .....consumes me.


4/15/2011 9:43:47 PM
Obama's Approval Ratings

“President Obama’s approval ratings are so low now, Kenyans are accusing him of being born in the United States .”

3/31/2011 6:19:48 PM


3/26/2011 10:11:04 PM

Wanna know what's scary? When your first ex hubby asks if you're still single!

 

RUN!


3/16/2011 11:05:52 PM

Why does it frighten you that I happen to have a brain?

 

and that I know how to use it?

 

What scares you when you find out I have a heart and know where I want to give it?

 

Why condemn me for my views, my thoughts, my actions?

 

Don't you have things you stand up for, believe in...carry out..?

 

Why do you want a doormat, but then send me a message, when clearly...that's NOT me??

 

Why say you really like me, then insult me, then run hide?

 

Yes, I know you like my boobs. Yes, I know you want to know if I swallow, do anal, will f*** your dog.

 

Grow up already!

 

I want an intelligent man who can hold his own with an intelligent woman.

 

I want a man who gets my sense of humor, and gives it right back to me.

 

I want a strong man, a Dominate man, not a domineering bossy asshole who thinks i should swoon at the first sign of his assholiness.

 

In my life, I need love, passion, a collar, and a Dom who sees me as I am, and can put me beside him for this journey.

 

Yes, I agree, I'm more of a bedroom sub. I have a life outside of this site, outside of any bedroom, outside of any house...it's what happens between us, in our hearts and in our world that I'm looking for.

 

AND...he has to be a FANTASTIC kisser! lol

 

So, if I scare you, piss you off, or confuse you...PASS ME BY!

 

 

 

 


3/15/2011 9:12:17 AM
Free Lunch...

 

900 teachers just got laid off from the  Los Angeles Unified School District . 
They are $650,000 over their annual budget.  


The following English teacher helps to explain one area that looms large over 
California 's educational crisis.


THIS HAS GOT TO BE PASSED ALONG TO AS MANY AS 
POSSIBLE OR WE WILL ALL GO DOWN THE DRAIN BECAUSE A FEW DON'T CARE. 
This English teacher has phrased it the best I've seen yet. 

This should make everyone think, be you Democrat, Republican or Independent 
From a California school teacher - - - 

"As you listen to the news about the student protests over illegal immigration, 
there are some things that you should be aware of:
I am in charge of the English-as-a-second-language department at a large 
southern California high school which is designated a Title 1 school, meaning 
that its students average lower socioeconomic and income levels.

Most of the schools you are hearing about, South Gate High, Bell Gardens , 
Huntington Park , etc.. where these students are protesting, are also Title 1 
schools. 

Title 1 schools are on the free breakfast and free lunch program. When I say 
free breakfast, I'm not talking a glass of milk and roll -- but a full breakfast 
and cereal bar with fruits and juices that would make a Marriott proud. The 
waste of this food is monumental, with trays and trays of it being dumped in the 
trash uneaten. 
(OUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK) 

I estimate that well over 50% of these students are obese or at least moderately 
overweight. About 75% or more   DO have cell phones. The school also 
provides day care centers for the unwed teenage pregnant girls (some as young as 
13) so they can attend class without the inconvenience of having to arrange for 
babysitters or having family watch their kids.
(OUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK) 

I was ordered to spend $700,000 on my department or risk losing funding for the 
upcoming year even though there was little need for anything; my budget was 
already substantial. I ended up buying new computers for the computer learning 
center, half of which, one month later, have been carved with graffiti by the 
appreciative students who obviously feel humbled and grateful to have a free 
education in America   ..
(OUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK) 

I have had to intervene several times for young and substitute teachers whose 
classes consist of many illegal immigrant students here in the country less than 
3 months who raised so much hell with the female teachers, calling them 
"Putas" (whores ) and throwing things, that the teachers were in tears. 

Free medical, free education, free food, day care, etc, etc, etc. Is it any 
wonder they feel entitled not only to be in this country but to demand rights, 
privileges and entitlements?

To those who want to point out how much these illegal immigrants contribute to 
our society because they LIKE their gardener and housekeeper and they like to 
pay less for tomatoes: spend some time in the real world of illegal immigration 
and see the TRUE costs.

Higher insurance, medical facilities closing, higher medical costs, more crime, 
lower standards of education in our schools, overcrowding, new diseases etc., 
etc, etc. For me, I'll pay more for tomatoes. 

Americans, We need to wake up. The guest worker program will be a disaster 
because we won't have the guts to enforce it. Does anyone in their right mind 
really think they will voluntarily leave and return? 

It does, however, have everything to do with culture: A third-world culture that 
does not value education, that accepts children getting pregnant and dropping 
out of school by 15 and that refuses to assimilate, and an American culture that 
has become so weak  and worried about "political correctness " that we don't 
have the will to do anything about it.

If this makes your blood boil, as it did mine, forward this to everyone you know 
including your Congressmen and Senators. 

CHEAP LABOR? Isn't that what the whole immigration issue is about?

Business doesn't want to pay a decent wage. 

Consumers don't want expensive produce. 

Government will tell you Americans don't want the jobs.

But the bottom line is cheap labor. The phrase "cheap labor" is a myth, a farce, 
and a lie. There is no such thing as "cheap labor." 

Take, for example, an illegal alien with a wife and five children. He takes a 
job for $5.00 or 6.00/hour. At that wage, with six dependents, he pays no income 
tax, yet at the end of the year, if he files an Income Tax Return, 
he gets an "earned income credit" of up to $3,200 free. 

He qualifies for Section 8 housing and subsidized rent.

He qualifies for food stamps..

He qualifies for free (no deductible), no co-pay) health care.

His children get free breakfasts and lunches at school. 

He requires bilingual teachers and books.

He qualifies for relief from high energy bills...

If they are or become, aged, blind or disabled, they qualify for SSI. 
Once qualified for SSI they can qualify for Medicare. All of this is at (our) 
taxpayer's expense . 

He doesn't worry about car insurance, life insurance, or homeowners insurance.

Taxpayers provide Spanish language signs, bulletins and printed material.

He and his family receive the equivalent of $20.00 to $30.00/hour in benefits. 

Working Americans are lucky to have $5.00 or $6.00/hour left after paying their 
bills AND his. 

The American taxpayers also pay for increased crime, graffiti and trash 
clean-up. 

Cheap labor?  YEAH RIGHT.!  Wake up people.! 

THESE ARE THE QUESTIONS WE SHOULD BE ADDRESSING TO THE PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES FOR EITHER PARTY. 'AND WHEN THEY LIE TO US AND DON'T DO AS THEY SAY, WE SHOULD REPLACE THEM AT ONCE.!' 

THIS HAS GOT TO BE PASSED ALONG TO AS MANY AS 
POSSIBLE OR WE WILL ALL GO DOWN THE DRAIN BECAUSE A FEW DON'T CARE

3/14/2011 9:34:35 PM

I DO NOT APOLOGIZE FOR SENDING THIS BECAUSE OF ITS TRUTH.                                                        
                                                                                                                 
If any other of our presidents had doubled the national debt, which had taken more than two centuries to        
accumulate, in one year, would you have approved?                                                                
                                                                                                                 
If any other of our presidents had then proposed to double the debt again within 10 years, would you have        
approved?                                                                                                        
                                                                                                                 
If any other of our presidents had criticized a state law that he admitted he never even read, would you think  
that he is just an ignorant hot head?                                                                            
                                                                                                                 
If any other of our presidents joined the country of Mexico and sued a state in the United States to force that  
state to continue to allow illegal immigration, would you question his patriotism and wonder who's side he was  
on?                                                                                                              
                                                                                                                 
If any other of our presidents had pronounced the Marine Corps like Marine Corpse, would you think him an idiot?
                                                                                                                 
                                                                                                                 
If any other of our presidents had put 87,000 workers out of work by arbitrarily placing a moratorium on        
offshore oil drilling on companies that have one of the best safety records of any industry because one foreign  
company had an accident, would you have agreed?                                                                  
                                                                                                                 
If any other of our presidents had used a forged document as the basis of the moratorium that would render 87000
American workers unemployed would you support him?                                                              
                                                                                                                 
If any other of our presidents had been the first President to need a Teleprompter installed to be able to get  
through a press conference, would you have laughed and said this is more proof of how inept he is on his own and
is really controlled by smarter men behind the scenes?                                                          
                                                                                                                 
If any other of our presidents had spent hundreds of thousands of dollars to take his First Lady to a play in    
NYC, would you have approved?                                                                                    
                                                                                                                 
If any other of our presidents had reduced your retirement plan holdings of GM stock by 90% and given the unions
a majority stake in GM, would you have approved?                                                                
                                                                                                                 
If any other of our presidents had made a joke at the expense of the Special Olympics, would you have approved?  
                                                                                                                 
If any other of our presidents had given Gordon Brown a set of inexpensive and incorrectly formatted DVDs, when  
Gordon Brown had given him a thoughtful and historically significant gift, would you have approved?              
                                                                                                                 
If any other of our presidents had given the Queen of England an iPod containing videos of his speeches, would  
you have thought it a proud moment for America ?                                                                
                                                                                                                 
If any other of our presidents had bowed to the King of Saudi Arabia , would you have approved?                  
                                                                                                                 
If any other of our presidents had visited Austria and made reference to the nonexistent "Austrian language,"    
would you have brushed it off as a minor slip?                                                                  
                                                                                                                 
If any other of our presidents had filled his cabinet and circle of advisers with people who cannot seem to keep
current in their income taxes, would you have approved?                                                          
                                                                                                                 
If any other of our presidents had stated that there were 57 states in the United States , wouldn't you have had
second thoughts about his capabilities?                                                                          
                                                                                                                 
If any other of our presidents would have flown all the way to Denmark to make a five minute speech about how    
the Olympics would benefit him walking out his front door in his home town, would you not have thought he was a  
self important, conceited, egotistical jerk.                                                                    
                                                                                                                 
If any other of our presidents had been so Spanish illiterate as to refer to "Cinco de Cuatro" in front of the  
Mexican ambassador when it was the 5th of May (Cinco de Mayo), and continued to flub it when he tried again,    
wouldn't you have winced in embarrassment?                                                                      
                                                                                                                 
If any other of our presidents had burned 9,000 gallons of jet fuel to go plant a single tree on Earth Day,      
would you have concluded he's a hypocrite?                                                                      
                                                                                                                 
If any other of our presidents' administrations had okayed Air Force One flying low over millions of people      
followed by a jet fighter in downtown Manhattan causing widespread panic, would you have wondered whether they  
actually get what happened on 9-11?                                                                              
                                                                                                                 
If any other of our presidents had failed to send relief aid to flood victims throughout the Midwest with more  
people killed or made homeless than in New Orleans , would you want it made into a major ongoing political issue
with claims of racism and incompetence?                                                                          
                                                                                                                 
If any other of our presidents had created the position of 32 Czars who report directly to him, bypassing the    
House and Senate on much of what is happening in America , would you have ever approved.                        
                                                                                                                 
If any other of our presidents had ordered the firing of the CEO of a major corporation, even though he had no  
constitutional authority to do so, would you have approved?                                                      
                                                                                                                 
So, tell me again, what is it about Obama that makes him so brilliant and impressive?                            
                                                                                                                 
Can't think of anything? Don't worry. He's done all this in 24 months -- so you have that much time to come up  
with an answer.                                                                                                  
                                                                                                                 
Every statement and action in this email is factual and directly attributable to Barrack Hussein Obama. Every    
bumble is a matter of record and completely verifiable.                                                          
                                                                                                                 
I WONDER HOW MANY OF YOU WILL FORWARD THIS ?                                                                    
"All it takes for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing."  


3/12/2011 3:35:18 AM
OK OK OK ALREADY!!! Stop writing me insulting emails ovet what I post!!! No one forces you to read it dammit! And Im free to post what i want in MY journal!! GET A FRIGGIN LIFE AND MOVE ON MORON!!

3/2/2011 9:40:26 AM

Muslim Herritage in the US???

Barack OBAMA, during his Cairo speech,  said:   "I know, too, that Islam has always been a part of   America  's story."

AN AMERICAN CITIZEN'S RESPONSE:

Dear Mr. Obama:



Were those Muslims that were in  America  when the Pilgrims first landed?  Funny, I thought they were Native American Indians.



Were those Muslims that celebrated the first Thanksgiving day?  Sorry again, those were Pilgrims and Native American Indians.


Can you show me one Muslim signature on the  United States  Constitution?


Declaration of  Independence  ?


Bill of Rights?


Didn't think so.


Did Muslims fight for this country's freedom from England ?  No.


Did Muslims fight during the Civil War to free the slaves in  America  ?  No, they did not.  In fact, Muslims to this day are still the largest traffickers in human slavery.  Your own half brother, a devout Muslim, still advocates slavery himself, even though Muslims of Arabic descent refer to black Muslims as "pug nosed slaves."  Says a lot of what the Muslim world really thinks of your family's "rich Islamic heritage," doesn't it Mr. Obama?


Where were Muslims during the Civil Rights era of this country?  Not present.


There are no pictures or media accounts of Muslims walking side by side with Martin Luther King, Jr. or helping to advance the cause of Civil Rights.


Where were Muslims during this country's Woman's Suffrage era?  Again, not present.  In fact, devout Muslims demand that women are subservient to men in the Islamic culture.  So much so, that often they are beaten for not wearing the 'hajib' or for talking to a man who is not a direct family member or their husband.  Yep, the Muslims are all for women's rights, aren't they?

Where were Muslims during World War II?  They were aligned with Adolf Hitler.  The Muslim grand mufti himself met with Adolf Hitler, reviewed the troops and accepted support from the Nazi's in killing Jews.


Finally, Mr. Obama, where were Muslims on Sept. 11th, 2001?  If they weren't flying planes into the  World   Trade   Center  , the Pentagon or a field in  Pennsylvania  killing nearly 3,000 people on our own soil, they were rejoicing in the  Middle East  .  No one can dispute the pictures shown from all parts of the Muslim world celebrating on CNN, Fox News, MSNBC and other cable news networks that day.  Strangely, the very "moderate" Muslims who's asses you bent over backwards to kiss in  Cairo  ,  Egypt  on June 4th were stone cold silent post 9-11.  To many Americans, their silence has meant approval for the acts of that day.


And THAT, Mr. Obama, is the "rich heritage" Muslims have here in  America  .

Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot to mention the  Barbary  Pirates.  They were Muslim.

And now we can add November 5, 2009 - the slaughter of American soldiers at  Fort   Hood  by a Muslim major who is a doctor and a psychiatrist who was supposed to be counseling soldiers returning from battle in Iraq and  Afghanistan  .


That, Mr. Obama is the "Muslim heritage" in  America  
.

EVERY AMERICAN MUST READ THIS !!


Be Sure to SEND IT to All .   Even Print it out and
Send by Snail Mail !!


3/1/2011 5:31:16 PM

WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S. PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN, GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?





'My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of the Iraq regime has been completed.



Since Congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.



This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq . This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now time to begin the reckoning.




Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short . The United Kingdom , Spain , Bulgaria , Australia , and Poland are some of the countries listed there.



The other list contains every one not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.



Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.THEN EVERY YEAR THEREAFTER It'll GO TO OUR SOCIAL SECURITY SYSTEM SO IT WONT GO BROKE IN 20 YEARS.



The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hell holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.



Need help with a famine ? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France .



In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.



Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France or maybe China .



I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France , and Russia . Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well.



I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York.



A special note to our neighbors: Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change.



Mexico is also on List 2. Its president and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple thousand extra tanks and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put 'em? Yep, border security.



Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now.



We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska -which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there.



It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, 'darn tootin.'



Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America . It is time to eliminate homelessness in America . To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thank you guys. We owe you and we won't forget.



To the nations on List 2, a final thought : You might want to learn to speak Arabic.



God bless America .. Thank you and good night.'


2/24/2011 10:43:15 PM

Dad and some friends spend weeks planning the perfect desert camping and riding trip.


Two days before the group is to leave dad's friend Rob's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going.


Dad and his friends are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do.


Two days later the three get to the camping site only to find... Rob sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and supper cooking on the fire.
"Dang man, how long you been here and how did you talk your wife into letting you go?"


"Well, I've been here since yesterday. Yesterday evening I was sitting in my chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said 'guess who'?"  I pulled her hands off and she was wearing a brand new see through nightie. She took my hand and took me to our bedroom. The room had two dozen candles and rose pedals all over. She had on the bed, handcuffs and ropes! She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed and I did. And then she said, "now, you can do what ever you want."
So here I am............


2/24/2011 9:20:02 AM

ooooooo im so hurt!!! here's another jerk who's blinded by his own assholiness!!


2/21/2011 2:25:16 PM

wow, StripeMaster9

 is a really stupid a**hole...he likes to insult you then block you...now how manly and domly is that??{#}


2/17/2011 4:07:22 PM
http://www.procreo.jp/labo/flower_garden.swf


You will get a black page.  
Click your mouse anywhere (& everywhere) on the page & see what happens!
Better yet, click (hold down) & drag your mouse all over the black page....
Enjoy!! 
Spring is coming !!  Easiest garden i have ever planted. Even u busy folks have time for this garden

1/22/2011 11:42:52 AM

http://www.flixxy.com/high-tech-car-door.htm

 

 

 

ok...I want one of these!!

 

 


1/21/2011 4:54:41 PM

http://www.jokeroo.com/bin/player.swf?5f9f_f369

 

 6 mins to watch...but you won't believe it! awesome!!


1/18/2011 7:23:48 PM

This year we will experience 4 unusual dates...1-1-11, 1-11-11, 11-1-11, 11-11-11.

Now check this out...take the last 2 digits of the year you were born plus the age you will be this year. It will equal 111...

example - I was born in 1957..... 57        

I will be 54 this year..                  54                       

                                              ----------
                                                  111

 

COOL HUH!!


1/16/2011 1:31:24 PM

thanks to K...

 

TEN REASONS THAT A SUBMISSIVE SHOULD WEAR PANTIES

10)    Panties keep nice bits from coming into contact with nasty seats when out.
  9)    They are handy  to use to bind her hands when you forgot your rope.
  8)    Make a handy gag if youve not got one while in the car.
  7)    Make a good bikini bottom when you stop at the beach on the way home
  6)    Makes a big emotional impact when they are pulled down for spankings.
  5)    Strengthens the feeling of punishment whey they are down around the ankles

               while standing in the corner.
  4)    Strengthens the feelings of submission when you make her go into a bathroom
               and then give them to you for the ride home.
  3)    They are a real attention getter if used for a wedgie when pulled up in the back.
  2)    They are an even stronger attention getter if used for a wedgie when pulled up
                in the front.
*1)    Used to keep the butt plug from hitting the floor when it pops out at WalMart!! {#}


1/15/2011 11:13:35 AM

My great great grandfather
watched as his friends died in the Civil War, my
grandfather watched as his friends died in WW II, and my father
 watched as
my friends died in Vietnam

None of them died for the Mexican Flag. 
Everyone died for the U.S. flag. 

In Texas, a student raised a Mexican
flag on a school flag pole; another student took
it down.  Guess who was expelled...the kid
who took it down. 

Kids in high school in California were sent home this year on
Cinco de Mayo because they wore T-shirts with the
American flag printed on them. 

Enough is enough.  The
below e-mail message needs to be viewed by every
American; and every American needs to stand up
for America. 

We've bent over to appease the America-haters long enough. 


I'm taking a stand.
I'm standing up because
the hundreds of thousands who died fighting in
wars for this country, and for the U.S. flag can't stand up. 
And shame on anyone who tries to make this a racist message. 

  

Let me make this perfectly clear!
 


THIS IS MY COUNTRY!
 

And, because I make This statement

DOES NOT

Mean I'm against immigration!!

YOU ARE WELCOME HERE, IN MY COUNTRY!
 

Welcome! To come through legally:
 

1. Get a sponsor!
 

2. Get a place to lay your head!
3.
 Get a job!
4.
 
Live By  OUR  Rules! 
5.
 Pay YOUR  Taxes! 
And

6. Learn the LANGUAGE like
immigrants have in
the past!!!
 

AND
7. Please don't demand that we hand over our lifetime
savings of
Social Security Funds to you.  

If
you don't want to forward this for fear of
offending someone,
Then YOU'RE 
PART OF THE PROBLEM!
 

When will
AMERICANS STOP
giving away
 THEIR RIGHTS???

We've gone so far the other way...

bentover backwards not to offend anyone.

But it seems no one cares about

the
AMERICAN CITIZEN

that's being offended!
 

WAKE UP America !!!
  

If 
You agree.... Pass this on.
 

 


1/13/2011 9:31:22 PM
A GREAT IDEA.....I am for it, and will use on my next call to a call center.
 
 
Don't know if this is true, but if it is, it would shorten my calls considerably if I weren't trying to decode and keep asking "Please repeat that."
 
Consider doing the following when you are talking on the phone to any US customer service representative based in a foreign country (like India). I have done this twice and it works! Any time you call an 800 number (for a credit card, banking, charter communications, health insurance, insurance, you name it) and you are transferred to a representative (like in India), please consider doing the following: 
After you connect and you realize that the customer service representative is not from the USA (you can always ask if you are not sure about the accent), please very politely (very politely - this is not about trashing other cultures) say, "I'd like to speak to a customer service representative in the United States of America." The rep might suggest talking to his/her manager, but, again, politely say, "Thank you, but I'd like to speak to a customer service representative in the USA ." YOU WILL BE IMMEDIATELY CONNECTED to a rep in the USA. It takes less than one minute to have your call re-directed to the USA. Tonight when I got redirected to a USA rep, I asked again to make sure - and yes, she was from Fort Lauderdale. 
Imagine if tomorrow, every US citizen who has to make such a call and then requests a US rep, imagine how that would ultimately impact the number of US jobs that would need to be created ASAP. Imagine what would happen if every US citizen insisted on talking to only US phone reps from this day on. If I tell 10 people to consider this and you tell 10 people to consider doing this - see what I mean ... it becomes an exercise in viral marketing 101. 
Remember - the goal here is to restore jobs back here at home - not to be abrupt or rude to a foreign phone rep. If you agree, please tell 10 people you know and tell them to tell 10 people they know....etc...etc...
  Might work ! !
 

 
 
     
 

 


1/10/2011 5:24:42 PM

CINDY WILLIAMS was appointed by Obama as an Assistant Director for NATIONAL SECURITY in the Congressional Budget Office.....

 

"Military Pay"

 

This is an Airman's response to Cindy Williams' editorial piece in the Washington Times about MILITARY PAY, it should be printed in all newspapers acrossAmerica .  

 

Ms. Cindy William  wrote a piece for the Washington Times denouncing the pay raise(s) coming service members' way this year citing that she stated a 13% wage increase was more than they deserve.  

 

A young airman from Hill AFB responds to her article below. He ought to get a bonus for this.  

 

"Ms  Williams:

I just had the pleasure of reading your column, "Our GI's earn enough" and I am a bit confused. Frankly, I'm wondering where this vaunted overpayment is going, because as far as I can tell, it disappears every month between DFAS (The Defense Finance and Accounting Service) and my bank account. Checking my latest earnings statement I see that I make $1,117.80 before taxes per month. After taxes, I take home $874.20 a Month.  When I run that through the calculator, I come up with  an annual salary of $13,413.60 before taxes, and $10,490.40 after.  

 

I work in the Air Force Network Control Center where I am part of the team responsible for a 5,000 host computer network. I am involved with infrastructure segments, specifically with Cisco Systems equipment. A quick check under jobs for "Network Technicians" in the Washington ,D.C. area reveals a position in my career field, requiring  three years  experience in my job. Amazingly, this job does NOT pay $13,413.60 a year. No, this job is being offered at $70,000 to $80,000 per annum............ I'm sure you can draw the obvious conclusions.  

 

Given the tenor of your column, I would assume that you NEVER had the pleasure of serving your country in her armed forces.  

 

Before you take it upon yourself to once more castigate congressional and DOD leadership for attempting to get the families in the military's lowest pay brackets off of WIC and food stamps, I suggest that you join a group of deploying soldiers headed for AFGHANISTAN ; I leave the choice of service branch up to you. Whatever choice you make though, opt for the SIX month rotation: it will guarantee you the longest possible time away from your family and friends, thus giving you full "deployment experience."

 

As your group prepares to board the plane, make sure to note the spouses and children who are saying good-bye to their loved ones. Also take care to note that several families are still unsure of how they'll be able to make ends meet while the primary breadwinner is gone. Obviously they've been squandering the "vast" piles of cash the government has been giving them.  

 

Try to deploy over a major holiday; Christmas and Thanksgiving are perennial favorites. And when you're actually over there, sitting in a foxhole, shivering against the cold desert night, and the flight sergeant tells you that there aren't enough people on shift to relieve you for chow, remember this: trade whatever MRE's (meal-ready-to-eat) you manage to get for the tuna noodle casserole or cheese tortellini, and add Tabasco to everything. This gives some flavor.  

 

Talk to your loved ones as often as you are permitted; it won't be nearly long enough or often enough, but take what you can get and be thankful for it. You may have picked up on the fact that I disagree with most of the points you present in your open piece.  

 

But, tomorrow from KABUL, I will defend to the death your right to say it.  

 

You see, I am an American fighting man, a guarantor of your First Amendment right and every other right you cherish...On a daily basis, my brother and sister soldiers worldwide ensure that you and people like you can thumb your collective noses at us, all on  a salary that is nothing short of pitiful and under conditions that would make most people cringe. We hemorrhage our best and brightest into the private sector because we can't offer the stability and pay of civilian companies.  

 

And you, Ms. Williams, have the gall to say that we make more than we deserve?  

 

A1C Michael Bragg,  Hill AFB AFNCC  

  

IF YOU AGREE, PLEASE PASS THIS ALONG TO

AS MANY PEOPLE AS POSSIBLE, AND SHOW YOUR SUPPORT OF THE AMERICAN FIGHTING MEN, AND WOMEN THROUGHOUT THE WORLD. 

 

THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!


1/6/2011 9:15:07 PM

This is so beautiful, so absolutely breathtaking, so lovingly....so anticipatingly.....humbling.    


1/4/2011 11:59:07 AM

If you know any woman currently undergoing chemotherapy, please pass the word to her that there is a cleaning service that provides FREE housecleaning - once per month for 4 months while she is in treatment. All she has to do is sign up and have her doctor fax a note confirming the treatment. Cleaning for a Reason will have a participating maid service in her zip code area arrange for the service. This organization serves the entire USA and currently has 547 partners to help these women. It's our job to pass the word and let them know that there are people out there that care. Be a blessing to someone and pass this information along. Click on the link below.
 http://www.cleaningforareason.org/

Great information. You may not know someone going through chemo, but someone on your email list might. Please forward!

1/1/2011 3:57:16 PM

LORD....I"m BORRRRRED!!!{#}


12/31/2010 4:25:07 PM

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!{#}{#}{#}


12/30/2010 3:06:23 PM

If there was nothing to regret...then there was nothing to desire.

      ~Vera Pavlova


12/24/2010 3:39:20 PM

Men date thin girls because they're too weak to
argue and salads are cheap.


12/24/2010 12:09:52 AM
MERRY CHRISTMAS Y'ALL!!
 
{#}{#}{#}{#}{#}{#}{#}{#}

 


12/6/2010 8:51:04 PM


this was fun to make!! me and mom doin some disco moves! lol

 

http://elfyourself.jibjab.com/view/4vuSb0jCWb0GeO7Z6ChX




 


Visit ElfYourself to make and share your own ElfYourself dance!
http://www.elfyourself.com/




12/6/2010 1:43:03 AM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MUELu8o5KJg&feature=related

 

NOW its Christmas! lol


11/24/2010 10:12:47 PM

{#}HAPPY TURKEYDAY Y'ALL!!


11/21/2010 8:39:40 PM

I've added a few pics, lets see how long it takes them to appear...

also...dont forget Ive started my own joke list, sent via my yahoo email...if you want it, send me an email addy...and youll get one everyday!


11/7/2010 5:13:44 PM

ok....seems CM has deleted all my journals.  I wrote customer support and here's what they said:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

petmeDaddy,

Since your journals were cut and paste items from elsewhere (and formatted for another site), they were too wide for this site and caused display problems for other users.  Also, some of the "jokes" were against the Terms of Service.  And lastly, since it was material from elsewhere, it was not clear that you had the rights to publish the material.  We discourage our users from posting someone else's material.

With regard,

The Collarme Support Team

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I think this is total BS as my journal should be protected under the constitution, but I guess the CM powers that be are God now...

I guess I will start an email list of my own and I'll just bypass these guys and just send out a joke list every evening. If ya'll think that's a good idea, drop me a line and I'll put you on the list!


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abusemenow
 
 Age: 27
 Lexington, Kentucky