2/10/2018 3:32:40 AM: It's early morning in the Keys  I feel like I'm living someone else's life.  He means well, but bedtime at 9:30 means I'm awake for the day at 5:30 while he snoozes for hours more.  This quiet time alone is the best time of the day.  The sun is peeking on the edge of the horizon.  I sit outside wearing little or nothing. Safe on the balcony with the ocean lapping at the foundation of the building below.  The sound of those waves brings comfort and takes me back to my home in Maine.It's time to reclaim my life.  Time to be me. Do I dare blow everything up again and start overe?

5/17/2017 8:36:26 PM: I can't do it...I'm sinking.  This quote sums it up -  We, the unwilling, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful. We have done so much, for so long, with so little, we are now qualified to do anything with nothing. There are, of course, twists which would tailor this more to this current situation but I suppose the details do not matter.  What matters is that I'm hurting - and through no fault of my own.

4/10/2017 2:06:13 PM: In His Arms She crawled into his arms, that safe place that she knew so well. As they sat twisted together on the floor, he played with her hair and she reached up to stroke his 5 o'clock shadow. It was the picture of sweetness. Theirs was a deep trusting relationship built on all that they had hoped for. She finally felt safe. He surely felt adored. Summonsing the words, she cautiously asked him what the evening held. He had, after all, told her that it would be a special night. Was this it, was the chance to simply be with him special. To her it was...but she suspected that he would not use that word for what they had had for so long. He smiled slightly and whispered, 'Baby, you just need to trust me'. She bit her lip and felt that familiar tightening deep in her belly. Hearing some voices in the next room, He slid her off his lap and placed her on the blanket they had been sitting on. As he strode to the kitchen, she realized just how much His form, His demeanor meant to her. He was the One that she had hoped for, for so very long. Her thought was that she would do anything for Him. Returning from the kitchen, Sir was followed by three men. She did not know them but noted that two were young and strong - probably in their late 20's or early 30's. The third man was tall and strong with dark eyes and a kind smile. As she lay there in her tee shirt and panties, she wondered why they were here and if she should excuse herself to dress. Just as she decided their conversation was 'guy' enough for her to slip away and put something on, He turned and looked at her. His only words were, 'come here, baby'. He sat back down on the floor and again pulled her into his lap. Without saying a word he slid her tee shirt up over her head and off with one motion. A rush of excitement and embarrassment all jumbled together to cause her to blush. She pulled in closer to him as the men made it clear that they were taking full advantage of the sight. In turn each man answered the wardrobe change by removing his own shirt. Muscles and chest hair, the smell of 'man', all of it both oddly enticing and a bit confusing. She looked up at Him and he smiled and again stroked her hair. As she relaxed in his arms, there was a sudden firm tug and her panties slid off and away. Again the three men looked on. They exchanged glances and seemed to have some unspoken agreement. As the first reach for the waistband of his jeans she felt a panic and jerked her head upward and stared straight into the eyes of her Sir. His reply to the pleading look, 'trust Me'. Each man joined her in her nakedness. The darker haired young one reached over and turned on the radio. A soft melody filled the air but did not settle her mind. 'Tonight', he said softly, 'we will learn the depth of your trust and commitment to Me'. 'I want this for you, and I want this to fulfill My desire'. She knew in an instant that she could not resist - this would be for Him. He kissed her, first softly and then with an increasing fervor. It was clear that this was turning Him on and she relished the knowledge. His cock grew beneath her and she reached for it as she felt His handslide between her legs and into that wet, warm place that was the center of the aching she felt. Once He was satisfied that she was prepared, He lay her on the floor in front of Him with her head in his lap. She loved the smell of his groin and the warmth which contrasted with the coolness of the air on her belly and legs. Suddenly he reached down to that spot again, but instead of the pleasure she had anticipated, He grabbed her thighs – both of them - one with each hand He pulled her long, curvy legs apart and she felt exposed but strangely was loving it…and Him. She twisted her head to the side to get to that cock that had been tall against her cheek. Taking it into her mouth, she didn’t care that the others were watching, this was her Sir! She was suddenly aware of a warmth between her knees…there was someone there. She jumped a bit and instinctively started to pull away, “no baby, this is what you will do for Me”. She felt her own look of panic but he seemed oblivious to it. He nodded to the young blond between her legs and held her tightly as the unknown man slid the full length of his hard cock smoothly into her wet cunt in one delicious stroke. A confusing blend of desire, fear, anger, and longing surged through her and she tried to focus on His cock while the younger guy had his way. With each thrust she tried to catch her breath, but at the same time His cock was shoved deeper down her skilled throat. This pattern repeated several times, but the young man lacked enough control to hold off what her pussy was trained to do. He tensed, head growing larger, balls tighter and finally exploded within her spraying his sticky warmth deep inside. She smiled to herself knowing that she had outlasted him. She had not cum, it seemed wrong and, yet, it had been close.The second young man came quickly towards her as the first made his way out of the room. She saw his erection and looked up at Sir. Her look was again met with a smile and a gentle kiss. The second man’s cock slid easily in parting her lips. Her pussy was swollen with excitement and lubricated by the young man’s load. The thrusts came quick, deep and hard. Wet smacking sounds filled the air and she felt as if an entire bottle of lube had been used on her pussy. She stretched around his cock milking him with her muscles that she had practiced with for so long to please His cock, but now engulfed another man’s. The sweat dripped off number two as he tried desperately to make her cum on his shaft. He angled his cock trying to grind it against her clit, but she was somehow able to hold out long enough. He was at the point of no return now and was determined to take his pleasure. Slipping his hands under her and grabbing her ass he pumped deeper that the first. She was in fact starting to enjoy it, but just as quickly he let out a groan and was soon spraying her deeply adding to the first. When the last of his spasms had drained his balls and her pussy had drank every drop she was again left wet and longing to release.As she expected, the third man approached immediately after the second left. This man, tall and rugged was of a size to require that He spread her legs even further and she felt the pull which only added to the desire. “Oh god, it is true” she thought as she realized that it was not only his feet that were huge.He, too, pounded hard as her Master held her tenderly. She could hold out no longer. This third man’s cock fit her pussy as if it were built for it. Stretching her tightly now and moving in a synchronizedrhythm with her hips lifting and opening to accept his strong warm cock she surrendered to this one and let go finding her relief just before the third man finished deep inside her. Her pussy clenching and releasing with each wave of her orgasm had been what his cock needed as he plunged ever deeper, He held her legs steady and open to accept this man’s cock and the pleasure He knew it brought her. When he was sure she was complete he withdrew.Quietly the man left…and He pulled her close. Helping her to her feet, he guided her to the bath, drew the warm water into the tub and scooped her up as he stepped into the large tub with her. As he gently washed her and shampooed her hair, she saw that look on His face. He was pleased…and she felt complete.  

6/26/2014 1:49:38 PM: He suggests instead of decides...I smile but know that it won't work.  I try to explain that I NEED Him to take control...he asks if I want to go to dinner.  And so it went.  In many ways he was wonderful and I tried hard to convince myself that he would take more ownership with time.  He didn't, and he's gone.  It's been quite awhile now and I find myself wanting to not repeat this....I can't.  I need to get this next one right.

5/24/2014 5:33:58 PM: Living alone seems freeing and yet it has become anything but.  The lack of human interaction is overwhelming.  Alone - you never laugh, you don't hear your own voice and most of all there is no human touch.  When lonely, I'll chat with friends here.  Now, sadly, they aren't showing up and while I guess that it is because they don't know how to access with the recent mess here, I miss them.