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YouMadeMeDoIt
Hetero Male, 39, Chelmsford, United Kingdom 
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YouMadeMeDoIt

Under major reconstruction...... Finally starting to attempt to recreate my profile. Last edited 08/10/17, photo's 02/01/18 With much in life changing during my time here I felt an update to my page, experiences, my reasoning for remaining on this site and just let others know I am still around was needed. This is going to take some time and some editing to get out what I want to say, I'm neither fond of talking about myself or good at articulating my thoughts to an audience. I may make spelling mistakes but plan to correct them, feel free to berate for such if not amended. Who am I ? I am a nearly forties gent who has had a "streak" since early memory, I remember smelling a cigarette from my grandmother's case which gave me the rush and buzz of something forbidden and whist growing up I would play with ropes tying myself and then escaping undetected, usually. Later I experimented with other sensitive body areas and even tried a bit of self mutilation (according to my mother) when I pierced my own nipples. Things sort of settled to very vanilla during high school, my sex drive was through the roof but my confidence as a spotty teenager was minimal. My longest relationship was around 3 years long and although we never identified anything I found myself relishing pleasing my girlfriend getting great satisfaction from doing so. This was a theme that later accelerated due to my being 17 and starting a relationship with a woman of 23, she had been in many close relationships and knew far more than myself so it kinda just happened to suit us both as she wanted satisfying and I needed to learn to do so fast, just how she needed. She was already a feisty red head and again without discussion I had adopted a submissive stance. During this time I was a healthcare support worker in a care home when I left school, contrary to comments from the matron on induction I lasted over a year there and loved helping my team and my residents and went on to work for a large hospital as I wanted to learn more. I spent the next 8 years working on pretty much every ward and department as a health care support worker and later as a theatre support worker for a burns and plastics unit also. During this time I took a bit of liking to the medical scene but back then I knew no one with kinks and apart from knowing I was a bit different, self catheterising was the only thing that stood out really. my early 20's were taken up with working flat out, managed to pluck up the courage with a couple of women but usually ended up being more dom and hiding it if I thought my submission was not what they wanted. The 0000's ushered in the arrival of my first children and after being accused of being violent and abusive at the end of the relationship and having to fight for access over 2 years for some reason any slight enjoyment of being dominant firmly escaped me. This broke my spirit. The next few few years I spent wandering mainly, joined a couple of sites and met a sadist. Positive exerience and we clicked fairly well, only I was well and truly out of my depth and I kinda liked it. We remained friends for sometime but lost touch eventually. I continued to have partners but kept my kinks to myself again. One day after a mutual break up I decided now that I was again a single Pringle I would endeavour to learn more about bdsm and try to find a domme, once more I found myself way out of my depth with someone who really did live the lifestyle, things were delicious and only getting better when I started panicking how I would never be enough with my experience and was starting to worry about attending munches etc as I had never done so and the thought of others seeing me as me frightened me quite some bit. I subsequently vanished and so did our trust and relationship and I was left wondering if I would always be alone and never find someone on the same page as me. The void Kim left in my life was huge, I'd never known anyone like her and I'd fucked it up royally. A fact I will regret always is how things ended, I had been able to confide in her the thoughts in my head and for once they were never met with surprise or even disgust just an acceptance, sigh. Then I met my wife, I received a message through a dating app asking if I'd like to chat. Cutting a long story short we were like peas in a pod, the similarities were quite striking and by four months of going out we married at a quiet place with only our closest friends and family. Many many people from both sides of the family and friends secretly didn't hold out much hope for us as who gets married to someone from on line after four months and makes it work ? Well we have, coming up seven years now, although life hasn't been easy. I had asked that we didn't have more children after my last experiences but relented gladly after a couple of years and we now have 2 wonderful kids and I have a stepdaughter. We have always been quite a sexual couple identifying mainly as a sub sub couple, my wife understands my anxiety around me being dominant and we have left that be. Currently we are experimenting together when time permits which is never enough obviously, together we have invested in some good quality items and over time hope to introduce them more in our play. We have started discussing a flr and are slowly working towards this, at first my wife felt it was all a lot of extra hassle for her but over time I think she is starting to see how this can all be a win win situation for her. My chastity device has honestly been one of the most fantastic buys, imho still possible to play with it on but I never really want to as when we discussed buying it I pointed out that if I were unable to climax I'd be so much more up for it when my wife wanted servicing instead of me having already sorted myself out and not wanting to be bothered. I relished saving them for her but I think the positive effect was outweighed by the fact that I couldn't get serving my wife off my mind and so sadly at present it's off. I would like us to go to some meets in the future but with a large young family it's looking impossible in the short term at least but it's a thought we both like also no rush to reach a target as we both know so little really. So pretty much up to present day now, things have cooled off on the flr sadly, the toys get a thrashing once once a while but generally it’s just myself playing now which is fine. I’ll remain, as always, attentive though and just wait. Not wishing to top from bottom at all. So what am I still doing on here ? I have always been an avid reader of profiles as I enjoy learning from others, I like reading peoples blogs sometimes and I enjoy seeing what others have been up to. This profile is here to find others who may share something of the same interests and maybe make contact with a suitable domme i may serve with the option that my spouse may join us when ready. What do I feel I can bring to the table to a domme ? I am an honest and kind person, I catechism about people and enjoy seeing others happy. I can attend with or without my chastity device. I can put to work for you cleaning or fixing things (very bright and good with repairing). You may have gardening you’d like done and have the tools but rather watch a submissive complete them for you while you relax or direct. What Is it that I enjoy or want to learn about. My current fascinations include but are not limited to, Chastity, tease and denial ++, edging, forced feminisation, spanking ++, caning, cbt, hummiliation, sounds, forced orgasms, restraints ++, strapons ++. I have tried a little of al of these and would like to try more. Others I’d think I would like to try include, electric play (very interested in some of this), forced bi (never even touched a guy in this way so won’t be giving this one up easily lol), medical play (guess that’s my old roots), breath play, dilation. So you made it past the drivel then ? So who am I Day to day ? Hard working, thoughtful and I enjoy a challenge, I am a bit of a gamer when I get time and for times when I feel stressed I love solving my Rubik’s cube,1 minute 03 seconds if anyone cares lol. I fix things, usually things friends and family have broken, working on my car (avid VDubber), installing electronics into vehicles ranging from boats to bikes, hgv’s and high value vehicles. I enjoy films but except for comedy I will usually be found watching documentaries, although I enjoy some fiction I feel sadly I never quite got into the whole super hero thing much, except Deadpool which I thought was fantastic!! I enjoy good conversation. I like learning, especially from others. For fun I’m trying to get my head around the Hex numbering system and more recently coding at a basic level. I’d like to learn to write better, grammatically speaking. 

10/8/2017 4:46:44 AM: Please read my profile before contacting me. I read profiles and journals before even considering it. How can you expect to have a conversation with someone you have spent no time in trying to understand. A little sapio mebe 

11/23/2016 5:29:24 PM: Have to say this but if ever I wanted a site to peruse for lesbians this IS the place to go !! Happy wanking keyboard warriors :) 

11/23/2016 5:56:10 AM: So a busy few months, few more delicious purchases, some gathering dust. If nothing I'm patient but let off steam on my own. It's enjoyed when I share the details later and usually tends to get me pounced upon. Taking things slow together but have discussed my wish to be in chastity 24/7 which we agreed is fine and have agreed to penalties if or when I pester for release which I love the sound of. I found when kept chaste I was in a constant state of arousal and was ravenous so to speak, not that I wanted to cum but usually just teased and for me to please her so I'm going to have to work on that too. Not only did I notice I was far more sexually aroused but that my want to help only strengthened enabling us to focus on the day's chores with me endeavouring to take as much pressure off as I can. Net mums is always a distraction but I'm working on that by sending links to bloggs etc. Topping from the bottom ? I do hope not...Trying to work on my profile here and there, it's now marginally better than an empty page but more work to do of course. Would love to to hear from anyone with experiences like or similar to mine, oh to get a message not from the states asking me to join a site to be their on line sub, yawn. Best wishes all, Christmas is coming up. I hope you all manage to forge some fantastic memories together and I look forward to reading about them soon. 

9/8/2016 11:56:52 AM: Such little time has passed but so many changes. My chastity is now a mainly permanent thing which I have grown to love dearly and miss when it's not in place. My key holder, wife and I together are exploring the world of my submission and the enjoyment that a female led relationship might hold, which coming from a sub sub relationship has been an amazing transformation and path has been epic.

5/17/2014 1:43:55 AM: Is looking for a quality outlet for some toys, have purchased a fair few but due to one or two 'items', having fallen short of expectations and in some cases broken :( a source for replacements is needed. Local to Essex would be perfect, you can't always be sure of something's flaws without having it in ones grasp. Looked at many sites but just not sure which apart from I feel are basic in their offerings for sure. Bit of advice would be lovely peeps, thanks.

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babyamy1
 
 Age: 18
 Brooklyn/outcalls, New York