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standoverme
Pan Female, 25, Seattle, Washington 
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standoverme

Recycled slavesub, eager but Careful....limited experience but trying to get more with someone who knows i am feeling a little insecure and a little scared to go into a new situation.

Still hurting from being kicked out of Master Ricks poly. i know what hes been telling people, it was not because i left voluntarily, His wife couldnt take having me there anymore.



i am no longer totally new here and i still dont really know what to write. i am into light to heavy bondage and want to experience more control and at least private humiliation... Maybe some public. i amnot into drugs or branding or being cut with knifes.



im into music, almost any kind, and i love going to movies and reading. i am kind of a homebody but have attendedcommunity college and work full time. i live with three other girls and just moved in here (July 22, 2017) two are revivalist Christian and were reluctant to let me stay (meaning i can talk to people, but our walls are thin so phone sex is out when people are here).



i have tried bondage and king. i am really oral and into eye contract restrictions and behavior control. i have a serious hypno fetish and want more if youre who knows about it. If you are doing or know Xaxisgirl here on CS, hit me up.



i am not sure if i want 247 right away, i just got out of one (was kicked out of one) and am still getting over it but i do want to explore so hit me up and tell me what you are into and if you are looking for someone like me.



THANKS!!!

Oh,hey, i wont ever ask for money to visit or for anything unless we get together permanently, thats not me.



hey- footnote - OMG i am not into the idea of sex with dogs at this time - ok?? do people really do that??? i am on here like an hour and this has come up 8 times !







Ination update



i have been asked about my background a bunch of times so i am going to share the general ination here. i am an army brat. my dad was in the Army all of my life and my mom still is. They divorced when i was 12 and dad got custody because his work made him less likely to be deployed away from base and he was closer to retirement. we moved up here after the divorce.

i have lived onthree different bases in my life because my dad said we didnt need the expense of living off base, but he really just thought that it was better to have his buddies able to watch what we were doing and report back to him.

yes, people on here have pointed out that i was raised in a male oriented world with a controlling micromanaging father and a mother who supported the male superiority mindset...and i agree, ok. i do think that it is natural for a girl to need her boundaries and her limits and her structure set by a man. 100,000 years of human evolution have supported this idea. i know i am making some girls on here mad at me but everything i have seen every relationship i have seen that was happy and healthy where both people actually respected each other there was a strong man and a woman who submitted to him...to one degree or another. there are relationships where women are the strong one, but from what i have watched somewhere along the line she stops respecting him sooner or later than then it goes to hell.



i just dont want to have to work this out with someone, i want to start from there and go.



as i spend more time on here and talking to people and carefully meeting with some i am learning serveral things



1. i do not think any men my age really understand dominance...any boys my age. they all seem to think that just being pushy or wanting to tell me what a bitch i am is dominating me.

2. there is just no way in hell i am moving across the country to someone i just had one chat with. it just doesnt make any sense

3. for me CMCS is like any relationship site. the point is to get to know someone who matches your interests and fits you and who you fit and then to meet them...see if you are comfortable and then go from there to something more permenant a domsub relationship is like a marriage, even if there is no legal marriage, and hopefully what i am looking for will be just as important to the dom i find and just as lasting.



i feel more comfortable on the floor when i am around strong men...and that i am excited by doing things that make me a little uncomfortable...like being naked around people i dont know.



so if i havent put you to sleep and if you are still interested in me and you are older than 25 and younger than decrepit, then lets talk

August update
Added new verification picture and I have a tip Dont use old Crayola markers to write on your skin! They only LOOK like they washed off, but if you then go into the sun they block your tan and the words appear!!!

6/2/2023 3:54:55 AM: Okay, series of real quick updates.  I'm living in Lansing michigan, this is where my poly ended.  The Polly ran from 2017 until 2021. I should have put that in my earlier update. The last 2 years I've had several encounters with dominants, both male and female. For a while I was getting my head together and wasn't really sure, not 100% sure, that I needed another tpe. My uncertainty was just a form of lying to myself. I do. I'm not going to make a decisions, I'm not good at people stuff. I can hold down a job, I have more than once. I've been in this job for 2 years. So if someone wants me to work that's not a problem, but I'm a textbook masochist, dsm certifiable. I've read on the subject voraciously, there's no cure for what I am. It can only be addressed, hopefully in some way that doesn't get me killed.  I don't like what I am, I don't like who I am. Especially when I'm fluttering around free like this, and unowned. It makes me very insecure, a little nauseous all the time, and I can't keep doing it. Okay that's my update, I didn't mean for it to sound sad or anything I'm not I'm usually very happy I know it doesn't really look like that most of my pictures, but I am, I just need someone who understands what I need, and who really isn't afraid to hurt me. I know that sounds a little sick, but it's just the way I am. It's only fair that you know in advance.

10/22/2021 6:40:31 AM: Are journals working again??

4/15/2018 7:49:38 PM: New self bondage pic... Better than nothing 😃

4/15/2018 9:00:57 AM: I was told that i should post video of what turns me on, how i would like to be treated long term. The person making the suggestion pointed me to motherless... Wow. Okay, i like feeling helpless, powerless, being hurt used, i guess degraded. And i really get off on breath play, being choked, even choked out or plastic bag suffocated. These videos speak to me...make me want to be the girl in them. It's probably a little sick, but, well, i guess im probably a little sick. motherless.com/1C3481E motherless.com/243483B motherless.com/g/maledom_as_a_right___obligation/31C7D08 motherless.com/474FA46 motherless.com/g/anti_female_world_order/54E8F2B motherless.com/22CE959 motherless.com/4C5A18E motherless.com/5B2A88C motherless.com/59B9ABF motherless.com/0CCDD02 I know a lot of that probably isn't possible... But being dehumanized...

12/24/2017 2:35:54 PM: Felt the need for summer so added another picture.

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girlfromlebanon
 
 Age: 37
  New York