3/10/2018 3:21:09 AM: At my age, I never considered myself “cougar” material, but I suppose, like anything, “older woman” is all in the eye of the beholder. Turns out I rather like the idea. I suppose I should have thought of it given that I liked older men when I was younger. I wonder if that’s part of the “kink mentality,” if that’s even a thing. The idea of taking a young, inexperienced, nervous, ENTHUSIASTIC little subby and training him to be EXACTLY what I want is certainly a heady thought. The difficulty, as always, is finding THAT ONE who is (a) close enough to make the relationship workable, and (b) a reasonable enough match in terms of kinks for it not to be a constant struggle to both get what I want and to give my slave what he needs as well. Saying “no” to someone that you genuinely see as a great potential partner is difficult, but I’ve been in relationships in which the “match” of desires simply wasn’t there. It starts out with each of us compromising what we want and ends with both of us being unfulfilled. You’d think that with the ratio of Dommes to subs being what it is that finding a match for a Domme would be easy. It isn’t. I also realize that there’s nothing particularly special about me or about my abilities. In fact, quite the opposite—my work situation isn’t ideal and I’m picky as hell (often, admittedly, to my detriment), but after a lot of searching (soul and otherwise), I’ve found a promising sub who seems at the outset to be what I want. His most endearing attribute is that he seems to “get” on an intrinsic level, that it isn’t him who is important and it isn’t’ me: it’s the ephemeral US that’s important. We’ll see, of course, if this pans out. Lots of kink “relationships” are fleeting, but I think it’s the hope that we can have what we NEED (in addition to what we want) that drives all of us.

9/20/2017 4:16:59 AM: I m finding lots of people to talk to and, surprisingly, genuinely thoughtful and helpful people on the forums. If you haven t visited, you should give it a try. There s a lot of crap on the forums, yes, but pick and choose. It s like the rest of CollarSpace, really, diamonds in the ruff and all that. I can understand why submissives have a hard time talking to Dommes. They have to walk a fine line between being obsequious and giving the impression that theyre not  submissive enough,  whatever that means. I ve always valued (nearly) tactlessness in response to suggestions, personally. As a Domme, I m used to getting my own way, both because of my personality and because of the seeming disparity among the numbers of straight, female Dommes and straight, male, submissives. To be honest, I often take  uh, well, um...  as  i m nervous, but it s what I want  and that leads to long discussions.  Ew, no.  works better.