I really dislike the new way they list the interests on the profiles now. They've added a bunch of weird erotica style speech affectations that are weird and don't mean what I selected the options for. Like, being a bisexual woman I put down that I enjoyed "breast play", which can mean all sorts of things, including motorboating the funbags or whipping them with a cane. But apparently on this site it strictly means "You worshiping my breasts". Which is pretty much not at all what I was looking to communicate. Does it say this when you select the interest? Not at all whatsoever.

I scared off a girl asking to be my sub with this, but I think it's fair and shall share it to the world in general:

Now, we may continue talking for as long as you like, get to know each other, maybe do some roleplay, but I will be upfront on this:

If you want to receive real world tasks, you must provide real world proof. If you are in any way unable to do this, just know we cannot take it to that point. Photos, video, scans, whatever. Documentation that the task was done. Otherwise, how can I know you actually did it?

Any sub I take on, as in accept under my ownership and set with tasks, must also provide a photo of themselves for me to prove their identity. This photo should contain their screen name, date, or similar. I am not shallow, I won't judge your appearance, I am just beset by fakes recently. No nudes required, face is negotiable. I am mostly looking that you are the age and gender you assert yourself to be. Again, this is only if you choose to devote yourself to my service.

Praise for my erotic fiction from happy customers:

Thank you very much, very very much. This was honestly the best story I've read, I cannot believe that you write like this. [...] a wonderful orgasm, I wanted to hold it until the end of your story, it was not easy. (hucow slave imprisonment story, 8 pages)

You like begging well, please please please keep writing, your so amazing and kinky I'm sitting here at work trying to convince myself not to go masturbate in the toilets. Please do a chapter 2 and maybe eve a chapter 3 (lesbian chastity school girls, 3 pages)

Wow. That was truly amazing. I thought I was going to cum without even touching myself. I barely made it all the way though. Thank you so much. (male cuckold forced bi bondage fantasy, 3 pages)

Wow... I LOVE it! I will see what I can do about illustrating this! [...] Thanks so much for sharing that with me. (basic outline, dark demonic possession with vore and trance induced sex slaves)

For tribute, I can arrange for your specialized fantasy as well <3

I have decided I like writing stories for people... fantasies. I wrote one recently for a sweet subbie girl, based on her outline, and she could barely contain herself to finish it. She told me it was simply the best she'd ever read, and made it worth my time.

So... anyone want to offer [redacted] in exchange for their fantasy delightfully told?

I could be a regular Scheherazade.

A reply to [redacted], who completely failed to read my profile and acted insulted when I called him out on it, since he blocked me after I wrote it out and I feel it deserves saying to a lot of the idiot subs on this site:

I'm sorry, I find it a little insulting when a sub asks to serve a domme and can't even bother to learn about the domme at all. That implies that their ONLY concern is self gratification, ie they just want a fuck doll with a whip. I SPECIFICALLY STATE several times that I am not seeking a male sub. And yet here you are sending me a message, asking to serve. I gave you a chance to realize this on your own, and you acted INSULTED. We dommes are human beings, not just your fantasy fodder. Go hire a pro-domme or jack off to some porn if you don't care about us as actual people.

Hell, even when I get bored enough to answer chat requests out of the blue 99% of the time they just start divulging information about themselves without context and unasked for.

A sample conversation based off of the one I just had, abridged for your reading displeasure:

Them: (Some compliment on my physical appearance)(Use of overly-familiar honorific)(Request to serve)

Them: I am 50 male (location)

Me: Thanks for not reading my profile.

Them: I did read it, just not all of it.

Me: Uh-huh.

Them: How long have you been a Domme?

Me: Oh, 10, or 11 years or so.

Them: I am a sissy. I've never actually practiced, just online, but I want to make it real.

Me: Ok?

Them: I am married but my wife isn't into the scene at all.

Me: Ok?

I really want a Domme to take it into real time.

WHAT KIND OF CONVERSATION IS THIS. SERIOUSLY.

If you give me reason to doubt you, I will require more proof before I give you my trust. The more you want from me the more I require from you. This is not a difficult concept.

We started on site chat, so I do not have those records, but I don't believe he read my profile very clearly and was sort of insinuating I should come play with him in his dungeon, though he never specifically said so. I turned the conversation, mentioning that while I could be considered a switch, I was listed as a Domme because I only seek female subs right now. Now at one point I made mention that I did not care for 99% of Doms - as in matches for myself, not as people or as friends, strictly in regards to kinky sex. A hyperbole yes, and while I was mid-way through explaining he logs off. I thought that was the end of it, but no, he messages me not long after:

[redacted] on 2/26/13 at 9:50 PM:
I Do believe the Male Dominants were just insulted and lumped together as all bad Dominants. sure is the way it cam across. A very bad GENERALIZATION

TheDreamer on 2/26/13 at 9:53 PM:
I said no such thing. I said, in my experience, most dominants were a poor fit FOR ME. Of course I don't hate all Doms, they are my friends. But, in bed, they things they like and the things I like conflict. It doesn't work. It takes a very special chemistry for me to want to be with someone, and that is NOT most Doms. For me. Me.

[redacted] on 2/26/13 at 10:03 PM:
Well it sure came out that way.

TheDreamer on 2/26/13 at 10:28 PM:
I was trying to explain, YOU made assumptions, and I do not like you taking this tone with me.

[redacted] on 2/27/13 at 4:39 AM:
What tone I am calling it as a I see it.

TheDreamer on 2/27/13 at 2:18 PM:
For being so quick to dismiss young Doms, you sure have a lot to learn. (Referring to one of his journal entries)

[redacted] on 2/27/13 at 3:29 PM:
Is that a Fact. I know enough to control you.

TheDreamer on 2/27/13 at 4:29 PM:
Well I have no desire for it, and would never want someone such as you, so quit your chest pounding and leave off.

[redacted] on 2/27/13 at 4:32 PM:
That is ok  you could  never handle  this true Dominant anyway. So you quit PRETENDING YOUR ANYTHING. YOU DOG FUCKING AIDS INFECTED SKANK. YOU ARE  IN NO WAY A DOMINANT IN ANY WAY.

I have so many male subs messaging me, asking to serve. This honestly baffles me, for a variety of reasons. I have it very clearly stated in my profile that I am not looking for male subs, only female. That means these men are messaging me having never read it (ignoring the ones that think that I will magically change my mind if I ask, which borders on disrespectful).

So they want to be my servant... but they can't be bothered to learn ANYTHING about me? How self centered can you be? It's obvious they just want a sex toy to jack off to.

Even worse, if they mean actual servitude and not just wanking it on camera, than they are willing to surrender themselves to someone they know nothing about. That's so ridiculous as to be almost incomprehensible. Why would you do that?

It's funny, because my boy has actually not put any limitation on webcams or web interactions as far as our relationship is concerned, it is my own lack of interest that prompts the ban on male online subs. It just really does nothing for me, as I have no interest in flings or casual sexual activities (of which BDSM is). Plus, someone who could intellectually/aesthetically stimulate me enough to cross that barrier would A) most likely not be on CollarMe and B) be respectful enough not to message asking me to do thing I specifically decline to do in my profile.

In all honesty I am just much too much into my man, have no desire for any other guys, and I just don't want to sort through all the garbage of people thinking they are the special exception.

Pro dommes, why do you list that you are looking for dommes? You are not looking for someone to dominate you, your whole page talks about how you want to use and abuse me (the pathetic worm). I am not a sub. So when I search "people looking for female dominants" why do you show up? Do you really think I will see it and say, you know what,  that's exactly what I am in the mood for today? Are you just trying to cover your bases?

I just want to look at the pretty subs :(

I'm tired of all these awfully photoshopped pictures. If it's not one thing its another. Girls with plastic skin, or worse yet thinking I won't notice the text on the photos that they claim is of them is very obviously not marker. I swear I saw one that actually used an MSpaint spray brush. Who are they trying to fool here? Is it like the whole Nigerian scammers looking for idiots deal?

I realize I am rather enjoying the variety of guests I have coming in and out recently. With graduation coming up in mere months, I wonder if I would not mind taking in some guests on a longer term. I love experiences, new people and new ideas, and I like helping people grow. And I can't deny the appeal of other kinds of endeavors. I find the idea frequently enters my mind, but the amount of willing and suitable applicants is pretty much zero. Cest le vie.

I am a photographer by profession, if you are a model looking for portfolio pictures, or a person seeking boudoir or fetish photographs, go ahead and contact me for further information. I retain the right to refuse those as I wish, namely who are looking for a play session rather that photographs. Hire a dominatrix, not me. I take my work seriously.

TheDreamer here. As if it weren't obvious, I am taken. I am not looking to change that, thank you very much.

That being said, there might be a place in our hearts or other such internal organ for a sweet submissive female pet. I know, I know, unicorn hunters never prosper, but I might as well extend the offer. We are way more awesome than those other people anyway, talented, attractive intellectuals and what not. And not just looking for a human fleshlight. But I digress.

A girl would preferably be thoughtful, attractive, and looking to expand herself as a person. The gift I can give is that of self-understanding, above all else. I can help you grow, help you decipher your own mind and experiences, or just present you with new experiences altogether. A tour with the two of us could be anything from a novel change of pace, to a journey or even an internship. Or complete, absolute, unquestioning ownership. Whatever developed over time. It would last as short or as long as it lasted. I am experienced, and patient, but I have a low tolerance for bullshit. As for him... there simply is no winning if he is crossed.

We are caring, compassionate, and occasionally vicious. He is tall, strong, and snarky with gorgeous lips. I am shorter and plumper and equally as attractive. We both enjoy thought provoking dialogue. If you can't keep up, don't bother. He does computers, I do art, as well as dipping our toes into endless other things. We are a unit, and we are in it for the long haul. He will always come before you, as will I for him. This does not mean you will be meaningless - at least, unless it is decided that you will be.

I have an apartment. With a roommate. Roommate has 3,000 degrees of "don't give a fuck". I could conceivably house someone, but this should not be universally expected. It would most likely include a degree of domestic service in exchange for room and board. I will decide this as I see fit or am want to do. I will be going somewhere in the next couple years to complete my MFA, most likely. I have no guarantee of wheres or whats or how longs. This should be accepted.

Any men attempting to contact me for any reason other than friendly conversation will most likely be openly mocked and derided. I do like making friends, I really do, but I don't like spurning your sexual advances. The only man who would even have a chance to be with us would be ridiculously attractive and highly intelligent. A model with a college degree (with emotional intelligence to boot). That person is most likely non-existent.

I do have knowledge to share in an intellectual manner. I can teach, and show, but I will not play with you.

For more information about myself please read my journal entries.

Lady Bell seems so sweet and kind

But she kisses the boys and makes them cry

Oh Lady Bell must you be so cruel

As to make them all act the fool?

But Lady Bell she knows, she knows

And the boys line up in rows, in rows

Old profile text saved for prosperity and the curious:

PLEASE READ MY PROFILE BEFORE SENDING ME A MESSAGE, AND PUT SOME DAMN THOUGHT INTO IT, OR I WILL IGNORE YOU. Or openly mock you in a catty fashion. That's pretty fun too.

For god's sake at least read the text in bold.

Moving on.

I have switch tendencies, but lean toward dominant, so am generally looking for more submissive or switch people. I really favor switches.

Ok, it would seem, from the messages I am getting, that this is a difficult concept, so I will make it more clear: If you are a Dom, I am probably not interested. I don't want to be your whimpering little slave girl slut. The things I want from a Dom don't involve humiliation, name calling, degradation, extreme objectification, service or a long list of other things that seem to be bread and butter for most Doms. Many of those things will prompt me to punch you in the face. Simply put, most people simply don't cut it, let alone Doms that seem to migrate to this site. I simply would not tolerate being in a relationship with probably 95% of the Doms I have encountered here. I would probably be more interested in a sub who could service top. However, if Mr. or Ms. Right happened to be in that last 5%, well, I wouldn't mind making their acquaintance if they could prove they had merit to me. But even as I am picky with my subs, I am even more so about what I like in a Dom. Being firmly pinned to the wall and having things whispered coyly into my ear is sexy, being rammed and called a cum hole is not.

That being said, sure, there are still often times I want to be soft, squishy, and vulnerable. Yeah, like an adorable little kitten. I don't want to be your raging Mistress every moment of the day, and interaction should never be a one sided thing. I do not exist for your entertainment or to satisfy your kinks.

I am a sweet, loving, compassionate, caring and fun person to be around. I love to dote and be doted on. On the other hand, I can be strict, cruel, and sadistic as needed or desired by my partner. I know how to push limits without going too far. I am empathic and read people very well, and it would be a joy to find someone who shares in that ability. I am intelligent and want intelligent partners; wit, cleverness, and confidence are very desirable traits. I am an artist, sensual and enigmatic, and love to explore new things and the world around me. I am also very intense and emotional. It is the thing people most love and hate about me.

To emphasize: I have no interest in doormats, and in fact the more spine you have the more I will probably like you. You ideally should be a shining example of humanity that I can flaunt to all my friends, an attractive and witty intellectual, while also potentially being a snarky tease who is playful, cocky, pretentious, and a scourge to society - yet still a closeted romantic with a heart of gold. The modern (and possibly misguided and unconventional) white knight devoted to their lady love, the wolf versus the puppy, the one who doesn't take shit from anyone but lovingly bows their head to the person they adore and respects. I do not want to feed a sub lines 24/7, and you need to be able to keep up with me. This is not, as it turns out, an easy task, but those who can have found it worth the trouble (for the most part). My ideal sub is my ideal s/o - plus some.

Importantly, I am not looking for someone who just wants me for sex. I much prefer ongoing, stimulating relationships with depth and complex interaction. I want someone who is as much a friend and confidant as anything else. Being my significant other is first and foremost before being my sub. Sites like these turn the whole process on it's head, I find that it's hard to initiate decent conversation because too many people here message me less with an actual interest in me, or getting to know me, but more so in just finding a Domme - any Domme - and thrust their kinks first and foremost into the conversation. I have no clue if I want to talk to you for another five minutes, let alone peg you in the ass. I won't know if I want to be in a relationship with you, nor even consider anything close to that, until I have talked to you for a decent amount of time.

I repeat: I don't want casual hook-ups.

All that being said, if you send me a first message that mentions sexual acts of some sort I will not reply (unless it is done in a completely intellectual fashion). Yes, D/s is a sexual thing, but so are all relationships, and I won't feel any better about receiving your solicitations here than I would anywhere else. I want to know someone as a person first before progressing on to anything else, and I respond to people best when they share this mentality. This does not mean the topic is taboo, but sex certainly shouldn't be your sole reason for messaging me.

Want to make a good impression? Message me like you are talking to some girl you met at a bar or in a supermarket, not on a site devoted to kinksters.

Quite simply, the more interesting, well spoken, and intriguing your message is to me, the higher the likelihood I will respond.

Also, while I hate to put limitations on things or come across as closed minded, I really prefer my partners to be within about 15 years of myself. I do have my reasons. Anyone else, understand that things will probably not go any further than social chit-chat, and you shouldn't message me with any other intent or risk being ignored.

I repeat: I do not want to be in a relationship with a man 20 years my senior. Sending me a message stating solely that you are out of my age range but want to compliment me anyway is not going to change that, and often just creeps me out.

PLEASE, no friends requests without messaging me first. I will not respond and just ignore them. I will only friend people I actually know. It's not so hard, and makes a much better impression.

Message me before sending any chat requests, or I will more than likely ignore you, and be more than happy doing so.

I hope I did not scare everyone off... :P

(Ok, maybe some of the idiots, but no one else)

[redacted] on 12/18/11 at 7:27 PM:
May I please be Your slave?

TheDreamer on 12/18/11 at 11:22 PM:
Thanks for not reading my profile

[redacted] on 12/19/11 at 12:10 AM:
Thanks for being a sucking fucking stupid bitch.

Oh the joys of CM. Ironically this is all coming from someone called "[redacted]". My lover could eat him for breakfast.

[redacted] on 4/5/11 at 1:53 PM:
    with ur pic id be suspicious of any guys that want to serve you

[redacted] on 9/29/11 at 6:28 PM:
    lol

TheDreamer on 9/29/11 at 6:29 PM:
    ...?

[redacted] on 9/29/11 at 6:30 PM:
    u need to suck his cock more often

TheDreamer on 9/29/11 at 6:41 PM:
    Yeah you can go fuck off now. I have no patience for people who are purposefully antagonistic.

[redacted] on 9/29/11 at 6:52 PM:
    and swallow

[redacted] on 9/29/11 at 6:53 PM:
    and u have no patience when u suck cock

TheDreamer on 9/29/11 at 6:55 PM:
    If you respond again I will block you. Honestly your comments can only be construed as laughable because you know nothing about me or my sex life, so anything you say can only be interpreted as an attempt to rile me up, and in that manner fails completely because of your aforementioned impossibility of priory knowledge that would make any such commentary pertinent.
   
[redacted] on 9/29/11 at 9:15 PM:
    ive had it with u slut ur a pest at best you have earned yourself a block u imbecile cunt

[redacted] on 9/29/11 at 9:49 PM:
    with ur looks bitch u cant afford to be snotty

In discussion of the first part of my profile, concerning my boyfriend, sent in response to someone who saw it as potentially insulting, and inferred that it was "bad behavior":

One chiding sentence out of a huge profile is nothing. I find that even when I put myself as taken, people send me "more than friends" type messages, and I find it irritating. The tiniest bit of humorous confrontation tends to take care of this. The people who actually get offended I have little care for, and the people I would like to get to know won't take it seriously, especially in the context it is presented in.

I don't think it really qualifies as "bad behavior" at all, ESPECIALLY considering it is passive, not active. I am not entering anyone's personal sphere, it is nothing I am forcing them to interact with. It is a pithy little comment in the "theme" of BDSM, without actually pursuing that avenue. I promise you I am, in practice, generally very humble and not terribly catty.

Basically summed up, it is phrased in a way that purposefully deters an annoying part of this site's population without being overly outright offensive to those that don't have a chip on their shoulder. They would understand that there is no way it could be directed at them, as an individual, but more so the vast population of this site (miserable), uses a non-committal and open ended adverb, and is said more in praise of my lover than anything else.

But when you send me messages like that, it is VERY difficult not to send back an appropriately biting reply.

I will admit I was a little brusque in this exchange (I was already dealing with a handful of other irritants, a few of which were on CM), but this exchange, from a 44 yr old man across the ocean (and thus not really suitable for my needs or wishes) was utterly uncalled for. He blocked me after shooting off his "witty" retort.

[redacted] on 7/24/11 at 10:33 PM:
you sound like a pretty exciting girl.. but man, that profile was long! lol

TheDreamer on 7/24/11 at 10:36 PM:
Did you not finish it? I find the kind of person I am interested in appreciates it.

[redacted] on 7/24/11 at 10:38 PM:   
if i didn't appreciate it i wouldn't have replied..

TheDreamer on 7/24/11 at 10:41 PM:
So, what, you just think it doesn't apply to you?

[redacted] on 7/24/11 at 10:46 PM:   
hadn't even thought of the age til now... after i went back and finished reading. what a bore. sorry about the age, didn't know. i wouldn't assume it doesn't apply to me vicious little brat so chill the fuck out!

I find myself... mildly irritated by the number of older Dom men who have profile images of hot young submissive girls. Maybe that is what you want to do to someone, but no that is not what you look like.

That is not you.

It doesn't win you any points. It makes you look shallow and skeezy. Maybe even insecure.

And it seems to be ONLY that demographic. The only thing I see that is even comparable is a slew of submissive guys who have cartoons or drawn images of Dommes, but with more focus on an activity, usually. If one actually posted a real photo of a woman with whips and leather, I doubt he would receive a positive response, and mostly would just confuse and or irritate people. So why do these Dom men do it?

I have some clear things I want and don't want listed in my profile. Sure it irritates me when people message me having obviously not read it, but it's a whole other kettle of fish when they have, yet think for some bizarre reason that what I want doesn't apply to them. I just don't get it. What makes you so special that I am going to make an exception on a personal preference that I am already stretching as it is? How could you possibly expect me to respond positively?

This is not a sex site.

This guy messages me, asking to serve. I say, you barely know me. He insists, I say, you can't possibly want to serve me, knowing so little, rather it's the IDEA of me, which is frankly unattractive. He says he wants to get to know me better, wants to chat, which leads to...

[redacted] on 1/9/11 at 9:20 PM:
   

on yahoo miss?


TheDreamer on 1/9/11 at 9:25 PM:
   

I do not give out my SN until I get to know people a bit.

   
[redacted] on 1/10/11 at 7:52 AM:
   

Please tell me whatever you want to know about me miss

   
TheDreamer on 1/10/11 at 3:18 PM:
   

There is not some set list of information I am looking for. It is not about personal trivia, but how a person thinks, responds, their general personality. I can only find that out through interaction. Its a matter of me reaching a comfort level with a person. Some people take weeks, some people take no time at all. Some people never get there.


[redacted] on 1/10/11 at 3:47 PM:
   

can we chat then miss, so you can get to know me?


TheDreamer on 1/10/11 at 3:55 PM:
   

Which is exactly what is happening.


[redacted] on 1/10/11 at 4:08 PM:
   

pls go on miss


TheDreamer on 1/10/11 at 4:48 PM:
   

What do you mean?


[redacted] on 1/10/11 at 4:52 PM:
   

pls go ahead and ask me what you want to know about me miss


TheDreamer on 1/10/11 at 5:14 PM:
   

That is a very awkward way to have conversation.


[redacted] on 1/10/11 at 5:16 PM:
   

how then shall we know each other mis


TheDreamer on 1/10/11 at 5:18 PM:
   

How do you normally have a conversation with people meet? Do you go up to some girl at a bus stop and demand she ask you questions?


[redacted] on 1/10/11 at 5:23 PM:
   

but i thought you were a dominant


TheDreamer on 1/10/11 at 5:33 PM:
   

Yeah, I am, but that doesn't mean I have any desire to lead some stranger around in conversation. Any sub of mine HAS to be able to stand on their own two feet. I have little patience for babysitting or parrots.


[redacted] on 1/10/11 at 5:39 PM:
   

HEYYYYYY you FOOL, u SEEM TO B A SLAVE. ITS BETTER youre My SLAVE you SLUTTY BITCH YOU FUCKFACE ASSHOLE DOGGGGGGGG.

 

 

ILL RAPE YOU AND BURN YOUR ASS you SLUT.


[redacted] on 1/10/11 at 5:40 PM:
   

KEEP DREAMING SLUT

Fuck your text formatting, CM.

Pulled and edited from a response I wrote out to a fairly intelligent and well meaning Dom to some questions he posed me. It was rather late at night, so repeats itself and rambles a bit. Unfortunately, I guess it was not to his liking and he never responded back...

----

Unfortunately, I cannot give you a true understanding [about what I look for in a partner], it's abstract territory and a sort of innate knowledge. You would simply need to know me better [to understand any explanation I offered]. I am not sure how many set traits I keep in mind as much as I examine people as an overall package, though I listed a fair number in my profile. Any person I date needs to be to varying degrees intelligent, empathic, caring, sensitive, intuitive, observant, giving, sentimental, emotional, creative, witty, playful, passionate, good with words and preferably aesthetically pleasing. They would relish experience and recognize that life is both absurd, amazing, and something like sacred all at the same time. A partner in crime, who could read my thoughts as well as I could theirs - something I am surprisingly good at. And most of all they would be very into me :P

Dom or sub is not as important as the whole. I would rather an amazing vanilla relationship than a shitty D/s one, and my longest relationships have actually been very vanilla, and often enough they held the reigns in bed. I've owned pets before, always switches, but they have always been the sort to not take shit. They were eager and willing to please. D/s is just trappings, really, a game two people choose to play with each other - almost like chess. You set up the rules, both sides agree, and they participate for their own enjoyment. But I wouldn't much care to play with a shitty partner.

I tend to be somewhat sadistic, but ONLY when paired with a masochist. I cannot be cruel to an unwilling participant, it pains me. When I put on my Dom hat, my enjoyment is derived from finding out their buttons and pushing them. It's often all about them, unless they then wish to please me, which I gladly accept. Sure I might "force" them to, if that's their kink, but it's still them wishing to please me, in the end. Context, you know?

That's the thing with Doms... too many I have met have been primarily concerned with their own pleasure. Not in an obvious way all time, either, but it really begins to show in the long run. They may not be selfish as one might first assume, but they view the world in how it relates to them, they have trouble connecting in a real way. [There is the sense of a very strong subjective lens. Does that make sense?] They expect things from people as if it is owed them all too often. The I am better than you, more than you – it is built into the system of D/s, and rubs me the wrong way. I don't look up or down at anyone, and I don't like someone acting high and mighty toward me, either. I dislike being degraded or humiliated. I don't do service, and I don't wait on people hand and foot. I am very loving, giving, doting, and affectionate, but something about it being required of me, and not just requested or desired, makes me want to do it less.

I, however, sometimes like to surrender into the knowledgeable hands of someone I can trust. I like to be seduced, to be pinned to a wall and have the right words whispered in my ear. The further I go into subby mode, the more receptive to directions I am, but really it's because I sort of zonk out, not that I fetishize obeying. I become like putty if I feel comfortable with them, at least unless the spell is broken. It is not an easy climb, and in fact can explode on a poor Dom if they do it wrong, as my head is dangerously tricky territory. I can enjoy certain pain, and would probably respond well to someone doting on me at the same time as they dished it out. I don't know. It's more a power thing, a force thing. To be taken over and consumed by the sheer will of another person. But I am not cum dumpster whore slut... if I were to ever be owned, I would expect to be a prized possession that is treated well, polished weekly, and kept on a velvet pillow on a pedestal. A pampered pet. But I don't think I could ever, really, be owned. It's not in my nature. Sometimes I just want to let go, and sometimes I want to do that without any of the harshness at all, just to bask in the affection. My moods differ, and I am, perhaps, a hard person to please. I am an easy puzzle once you learn the tricks, but I guess some people never do.

[So I guess what I am saying, is I could have a Dom as a partner, and I could belong to them in the same sense as they “belonged” to me... but I could never be owned for more than short periods of time, now and again. It would do unpleasant things to me, psychologically, from all but the most perfect of Holders. 

[...]

I treat all people the same to start with. They then gain or lose my favor with their responses. I NEVER enter any interaction with the thought of potentially dating someone. Rather, I find people interesting, so I seek to learn more about them, feel them out. If I then feel a spark, so it goes. If not, then not. People who start off acting like suitors tend to throw me off, make me more, not less, detached. I don't find a profile and think, I will try to date this person. It doesn't work that way. I read people very quickly, and after spending a solid evening with them I generally know if I have the potential to love them, and after a bit more time might "go steady" if they feel the same way. Really, the whole “date” thing that many people refer to is foreign to me. I may end up on dates, in hindsight, but either A) I know I like someone well enough before I go on said date (usually through online/phone interaction) or B) hanging out with someone becomes a “date”. [...]

I need someone who is as intense as I am, or is capable of handling my intensity, or else I will eat them alive.

[How a Dom and sub should interact] is up to each Dom and sub entirely. Like I said, trappings. I now and then sent my pet to fetch me coffee, because it made him happy to do so. I was trying to fix the atrocious spelling of another of them, at his request when he found out it annoyed me. We would play with it, make the references and inside jokes, I would chide him and rile him up. But in the end, it's all play and games. As for me I cannot really answer. Again, I do not think I want a full time Dom. Maybe the ONLY way I could be with a Dom long term is if he were my vanilla boyfriend that sometimes took the role now and then. The more experience I get the more I fear a constant ownership would quickly wear thin. But frankly, there is no "right" or "wrong" way, only personal preferences.