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I really miss the old Collarme to me it was better then collarspace, we didnt have to be in limbo to fix our profiles that can take weeks to months. and it was easy to chat with people in the chatrooms, they use to have more then one room to play in sometimes trying to make things better really makes them SUCK! |
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Listening to the wind blowing through the trees out.in the dissidence there is a faint sound of thunder rolling across the plains.. looking.out the front door she see's a stranger riding.up on a white horse she steps out on to her porch and ask the,stranger what he wants the stranger says sorry Ma'am I was wondering if you had any work to be done.,she thinks to herself for a bit and then says in fact I do.
the stranger ask if she will higher him looking him up and down she says the fence needs mending the cows need to be brung home and the pigs need feeding.she then asked when could he start.the stanger says I can start tomorrow. just as she went to shake his hand the storm that was in the distance hit it started down pouring she said hurry.up,and come inside.
.the stranger said no Ma'am I gotta get my horse to the barn first she said alright its at the end of the house to your left there is a blanket and oats for him when your done come on inside and ill fix you some supper. He thanked her and took his horse to the barn she watched him then went back inside to,fix him a plate of stake and fried taters as she was setting the plate down he came in soaking wet.
she chuckled a little bit and said I might have some clothes that will fit you from my late husband she then went upstairs and went through her husbands clothing finding a black shirt amd black jeans and a long johns she went back down stairs and handed them to the man.
he took them and thanked her then went to the restroom and changed he came back out and sat down but before.he started eating he said a prayer..then properly introduced himself..he said my name is Bo. she then says hello Bo my name is melody.
As Bo finished his plate Melody took it to the kitchen and washed it then got a couple pieces of apple pie with cheese and a cup of coffee she sat the cup of coffee next to Bo and a piece of pie then she sat down. While they ate they discussed what had to be done. Bo finished his pie and said he would mend the broken fences at day break then bring the cows home.
Melody agreed to this and told Bo he could sleep in the guest room since the bunk house was a wreck ill bring you some blankets and pillows when your ready for bed.after getting the pillows and blankets Bo made the bed then laid down not soon after laying down he was a sleep.
He woke the next morning to the sounds of roosters crowing in the distance Bo stretched and yawned then sat up on the side of the bed he rubbed his jaw then stretched again and stood up to get dressed to start the day off. Bo is a strong young man in his late twenties he has long sandy blonde hair and crystal blue eyes.
Melody was also waking up to the sounds of the roosters crowing in the distance she yawned stretched and got out of bed and got dressed Melody is a beautiful young lady in her mid thirty she has big green eyes and long brown hair that she wears up in a bun.
She went down stairs and saw Bo sitting at the table with a cup of coffee good morning Bo said she said good morning bo and asked if he would like breakfast before heading.out to work. Bo smiled and said yes please. Melody headed into the kitchen to start breakfast she called out to Bo how would you like your eggs Bo replied over easy please.
Melody started the bacon first since the eggs take less time to cook.,as the bacon cooked she grabbed two plates and set them on the counter she then flipped the bacon and started the eggs she put toast down.
She put the eggs and bacon on the plates just as the toast popped up she lightly buttered the toast and cut them and placed them.on the plates then picked up the plates and carried them to the dinning room,and sat them down.
Bo finished his breakfast and.took his plate into the kitchen and placed.it on the counter Melody also took her plate into the kitchen bo was turning to walk out of the kitchen when je accidentally bumped into her causing her to drop her plate bo quickly started apologizing to melody and bent to pick.up the broken plate melody bent down to help him and said its ok. after picking up the broken glass bo said ilk go start in the fences and he walked out the kitchen and out thee front door he went to the barn and saddled his horse
Melody watched him from the kitchen window as she washed the morning dishes.,she then dried her hands and went outside to tend to the chickens gathering eggs and feeding them.then she went to the barn to feed the horses and muck the stalls she heard the sound of horse hooves coming to the barn. she finished mucking the last stall whe she saw bo dismounting
Bo walked into the barn as melody was finishing the last stall melody turned and smiled and asked if he would like some lunch bo replied yes that sounds good they both walked into the house as bo sat at the table melody went into the kitchen to make them sandwiches as she wad making them she yelled out to bo if he would like a glass of sweet tea he yelled back yes please
melody Caries out the plate of sandwiches and a pitcher of sweet ice tea and places them on the table then goes back to get the glasses and walks back out and sits down pouring them both a glass and served bo his sandwich an tea then started eating her sandwich
While they ate bo told melody he thinks fixing the fence will take all and part of tomorrow she nodded as he spoke..then she said that's fine I can feed the hogs I didn't think the fence was that broken. melody finished het lunch amd went to the kitchen she placed her plate in the sink and glanced out the,window and saw the storm clouds rolling in.
a moment later bo came into the kitchen and saw melody starting out the window he walked up beside her and asked what's the matter. melody said quietly there is a storm rolling in. bo said thats ok ill get the fence done before it hits melody then turns and looks at bo and says I don't want you out there in the storm bo smiles at her and says it will be ok ill,be back before it hits and he left the house before she could stop him
melody never use to hate storms she use to,sit on the porch and watch them with her husband billy. Then one day while her husband was tending the hurd on a cattle drive a storm came.out of no where and the cows got spooked her husband fell off his horse and got caught under the hooves of the stampeding cows
melody kept looking out the window for bo she was confused as to why she was so worried about this msn she just met him last night but she is as she was watching for him she heard a loud crack outside that was followed by a flash of lightning scared to death now she ran outside just as she saw bo riding his horse into the barn she ran into the barm and asked if He was ok bo said yes melody im ok now lets get inside before we are caught in the rain
they went inside and just as bo was shutting the door the rain started down pouring and the thunder got louder making melody jump bo looked at melody and asked her why she is so afraid of thunder storms she went to the kitchen and poured a couple cups of coffee and brought them to tje table she sat down and took.a sip. then she started to explain yo bo why she was afraid.of thunder storms she told him about how three years ago how her husband billy was out on a cattle drive taking their cows to conrad montana and out of no where a big storm hit and frightened the cows and billy was knocked off his horse and caught under the hooves of the stampeding cattle.
Bo wasn't,sure what to say so he walked over to her and gave her a gentle hug and a small kiss then went and sat down. Melody was surprised at the kiss but didn't say anything about it. after a while.of silence melody looked up at the clock at saw.it was six o'clock she asked bo if he was.hungry he said yes melody then said ok ill,get supper ready...
Just as melody said that there was another loud crack that shook the house followed by a bright lighting that caused the power to go out.,,melody,let out a startled scream and bo,ran to her wrapping his arms around her.he then stroked her hair and said im here its alright I got you.
Melody jumped as another flash of lightning struck the near by field holding her tightly to him bo leaned down and kissed her cheek and whispered don't be scared your safe. Melody looked up and kissed bo on the lips just before she pulled away. She then said I have candles a round here somewhere.
Melody found the candles and placed them on the table and lite them she turned and asked if sandwiches where alright for dinner shr thinks she has some tater salad left over from the day before. Bo said that sounds just fine after melody made the sandwiches she dished up the salad and brought them to the table. As they where eating melody said sounds like the storm is quieting down. They finished eating and melody took the dishes to the sink they can wait til morning she thought to herself.
Melody heard the grandfather clock in the family room its ten o'clock she walks out to where bo is sitting she then leans over and gives him a slow deep kiss and whispers good night in his ear. melody then turns and walks away upstairs and into her bedroom and gets ready for bed.
Bo is still,sitting at the dinning toom table a little dumb founded as to the sweet good night kiss melody just gave him. He shakes his head and then gets to his feet and blows out the candles before heading to his own room upstairs.
Melody hears the crashing of the trees on the roof and hears the cracking of thunder and is woken up scared to death she pulls her house coat on and quickly walks to Bo's room she knocks on the door hoping bo is a wake another loud crash of thunder makes her jump and she opens the door and calls for bo. Bo wakes up and quickly goes to her. Bo says what is it melody are you ok? Melody manages to talk yes bo im ok the storm is back. Bo walks melody.over to the bed so she can lsy down.he then goes to sit on the chair to sleep before he could sit down melody asked him to come lay with her and to hold her.
Bo hesitated but said ok so he walked back over to the bed and crawled under the blankets wrapping his strong arms around melodys waist. Feeling the warmth of his body she scoots closer to him. Everytime the thunder echoed across the sky melody would move closer to bo and rub against him bo would tighten his grip on her causing her to squirm and moan hearing her moan he slowly started to run his fingers down her arm to her ribs and down to her tighs
moaning softly at his touch melody spreads her legs as bo continues to explore down her thighs he runs his fingers down to her mound and rubs it just before slipping,a finger onto her clit rubbing it gently. Bo then leans down and nibbles on Melodys neck. Melody lets a gasps out as she feels bos touch. Melody turns and looks at bo whispers I can't not yet |
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Have you ever wanted to make love in the pouring down rain in the middle of a hay feild or on the riverbank in the pale moonlight with just the stars shinning bright up in the sky? |
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as the sun grows higher in to the sky she stands on the mountians cliffs looking down in to the abliss she takes a deep breath and lets it all out as she starts to fall down into to the abliss she feels the air as she falls down and hearst he rushing of the water below just before she hits the ground she feels the water rushing over her before she sinks into the abliss she letsit swallow her whole letting it take her from the world she dreads it takes her life and puts her to rest down at the bottom of the abliss she dont think she would be missed by anyone so she is glade that she is at the bottome of the abliss... she will feel no more pain at the bottom of the abliss |
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not wanting to be owned at least she wasnt at the time but she found her Master that she gives herself fully too. it started out she would chew on His boots or paddle and paw print His chair.. she didnt think it would lead to being owned by Him but she is happy that it did she is proud to be His and would do anything for Him.. she belongs fully to her Master |
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i watch the fireworks shoot in to the sky and think of the song by katy perry called fireworks... it brings me back to my lil thoughts that always run through my mind this time of year..
i remember 2005 the last birthday i got to spend with my lil boy.. i remember my daddy lighting off those big balls that you put in to a tobe.. my boy clung to me so tight that he almost choked me lol.. then he saw how pretty they was and he actually said purty. he didnt talk vary well but thats ok.. he was only 2 1/2 but when he said that my heart sang.. but now all i feel is sadness.. thats the only good memory that i have other then the day that he was born. and how proud my daddy was for giving him his first grandson.. but that didnt last.. now all i hear is that i am a failure.. i hear it in his voice when we talk on the phone. i don talk to him much anymore.. i dont even get to talk to my lil boy he will be eight god how big he is getting.. he probably dont even remember me so i guess thats ok..
tbc as well |
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the battle has begone... she fights with everything she fights with what she is she fights herself more then anything.. she has tired so many times to just end it all so she wouldnt be a bother to anyone anymore.. but people keep stopping her.. she cant figure out why she aint nothing but worthless she cant do anything right at least in her eyes. with the battle becoming stronger she grows weaker tired of fighting she just wants to give up and let it take her.. she cant fight anymore... god why wont they just let it be done and she be out of the way? is it that hard to just let her go she would be at peace with herself and no longer a bother if they would just let the battle take over
TBC |
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the day is long the night grows hotter all she wants to do is curl up and go under to forget the pain she goes through day after day and night after night... all she remembers is that pain she put him through and wonders to herself if he even remebers who she is.. he will be 8 this comeing tuesday... she remembers that she always celibrated his birthday on the fourth of july now all she wants is to forget she cant handle the pain anylonger.. she wonders why they wont let her die.. she has tried time after time and has failed even that..
what is she to do..she cant go on living with the guilt she put him through he is only eight years old and has been through to much for a lil man to be goin through.. but then again he probably dont even remember who she is.. but she remembers who he is.. at least he is better off with out her.. he dont have to go through hell anymore.. shes sure his new mom and dad treat him with love
thats all he needs thats something that she failed at.. along with other things.. all she can do now is deal with the guilt and pain she has caused to everyone.. including him... she just hopes he knows that she dose love him..an he is still her pride and joy.. her lil froggy.. |
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rather taste the kiss death then walk this
world alone i rather taste the kiss of
death then to watch you tare my world apart
i rather taste the kiss of death then to
know you hurt me deep in side rather tase
the kiss of death to keep living life in
fear of everything around me rather taste
the kiss of death then to know you are
still in side of me rather taste the kiss
of death then to let any one hold and love me |
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You think its getting better then all of a
sudden it hits you like a brick your life
comes falling down again you get the call
that your best friend was killed you get a
letter in the mail saying your rights have
been taken away it never ends this life you
just wish it will one day come to rest with
you in the grave your father hears things
about you at your work so now he thinks
your a lil slut and he gives you a week to
get out of his place it never ends. You
just want it end but it never will
you want it all to go back the way it was
your son your friends and your mother you
want them back you want the pain to end
but you know it never will
then you fall in love and think its great
but out of no where it comes falling down again
he leaves you then comes back to you then ask you to marry
him out of pitty not thinking right you say yes. now you wish you never did.. you wish you was in the ground so your world would stop falling down it will never end.. not matter how hard you try it will never end! |
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i walk along the river not knowing
Where i am or who i am my heart and soul
Where never there I fear i am a no body
I go to town and people stear at me like
I am a no body even though i lived here
My whole pathedic life i am a nobody.
I wish i was a some body not a no body |
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there is nothing that can be said or done
to make me for get all the things i have
done and all the things i have said
i hate my self for saying them i just wish
i could take them back
and let you know that i didnt mean them but
it is too late now.
now you are gone and im never gonna get you back..
if i could i would just take every evil
thing i have said back
and wish for you to come back to me. but it
wont ever happen |
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Death is knocking on my door
Death is knocking for my soul
Death is carring a black black rose
He'll traid it for my worthless soul
Death is knocking on my door
Death is here for nothing less and nothing more
Death is knocking for my soul |
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death is slienece from the grave
death is lonelyness with out cause
death is taken with out cause
death is suicdie from beyond
death is darkness
death is silence from the grave |
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With every little thought I have come to my head I
see you standing there
With every little move I make I see you standing there
With every little mistake I do I see you standing there
No matter what I do I see you standing there
Why do I see you standing there?
Beacause you are my Garduian Angel sent to protect me
from the bad
You were sent to watch over me and to keep me safe
That is why I see you standing there beside me
you are my Graudain Angel |
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The pain is getting so bad to where i cant take it any more. i want to lock myself away. so i cant feel the pain that my heart is takeing it cant handle much more this pain is getting so bad. |
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I just want t go invisable and hide my self from the world. I cry at night after night because of things that are locked deep in side of me . I feel i dont belong anymore. I just want to go invisable and hide my self from the world. I want to hide my fears along with my tears. I want to make the pain i hold in side to go away. |
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locking my heart in chains and throwing away the key. i find intrest in someone and once i open up to let them in they disapear on me. i am no longer going to allow any one to get close to me or let them in.. im tired of being hurt over and over again. i thought i was ready to find a new Master but i am not at all.. |
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You love You lose but that just makes you stronger. in the end it will all fall in to place all the little peices of your shatterd heart will find their place again.
it just takes some longers then others to heal.. depending on how long they where with some one.. I guess what i am trying to say is im tired of being a fraid im tired of being alone its time to pick up the peices and start putting them back where they belong..
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I close my eyes and start to dream about the mountains back home. how they glisten when the sun hits the snow i can picture my self sitting on the lions back letting the cold drift apon my milkey flesh i can taste the fresh flakes hitting my tongue as i stick it out to catch the soft falling flakes. i can hear laughter in the distance of children playing with their family and loveing pets. i blink away a tear wishing my son was with me in the lovely place. i can see my self making snowman and snow angles with him and having a snow ball fight.. then going home and making a batch of fresh cookies and home made hot chocolate. |
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there are days that you know you are loved then there are d ay you feel that you are not. speically when it comes to Daddies.. not the Dom kind but the ones that help bring you to life. Some daddys tell their daughters they love them all the time. then you have the daddys that only say it once in a life time so it makes the daughters wonder if he truely dose love them. like my Daddy for instant my Daddy never told me he loved me. in fact when ever i needed him he was never there. so i thought he hated me. Til my mom passed away a few years a go i think its been like 5 or 6yrs now.. but my Daddy wasnt diffrent that day either he didnt hold me or say i love you in stead he told me cowgirl up cowgirls dont cry. wasnt til my 25th birthday did that man ever say i love you.. now on the holidays when i think of my family i know that my Daddy truely dose love me even though he dont say it all the time i got a birthday/christmas card in the mail and it read A YO you know i love you right... that was from my Daddy.. so even if you dont hear it from your Daddy or Your Mother just know they will always love you because you are their pride and joy dont matter how mad they make you or how mad you make them.. they love you none the less.. |
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i feel out of place i feel i dont belong every step i make its like walking on egg shells feeling the sharp peices of shell going into my feet. i want this feeling to go away i want it to go back to the ways it use to be i hate feeling this way i hate feeling that i am unwanted in my own home they are no longer my family so i feel i shouldnt be here speically on the holidays. im confuse and im lost i feel out of place like some one has misplaced me where i shouldnt be it dose not matter where i am i can be with friends that really want me around and ill feel as if i shouldnt be around. im tired of feeling this way i want to just disapear so i am not near anyone and i wont feel out of place or that i am walking on egg shells |
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why is it when my life starts to go right somthing has to come along and mess it up i find happyness and its ripped away from me. my world my dreams come crashing down and the things i hold close to my heart are ripped away. it seems no matter how i change my life around it crashes down. my happyness is toren away. people i love and care about get ripped away from me. i just want to be happy i just want to be loved i want my world to go back to the way it once was.no more hurting no more being hurt. nothing goes wrong we are all just one big happy family again.
thanks to the love of my life.. my world has crashed once again. i knew it was to good to be true. i had that feeling it wouldnt stay this good.
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well its christmas eve.. and i can not sleep to many thoughts running through my brain. i wonder what he is doing now if he is tucked in his bed fast a sleep or if he is up excited that the next day is christmas and santa will be coming with a bag full of toys for him. i toss and i turn trying to get comfertable but i just cant seem to get comfertable. my mind keeps wondering what it would be like to have him here for christmas eve and christmas day i wonder how big his beatutiful blue eyes will get when he sees what santa has brought for him. i remember his first christmas with me how his big beautiful eyes became huge just to see all the toys that santa brought. i remember how he wouldnt let any of the other children even touch his new toys and he was only one . i wonder if he even misses me. |
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THE BATTLE
the battle with in my mind is getting worse i sit and fight with the voices that are pulling at my head. screaming that im not a submissive or a slave. i am beging to agree with them at this point in time i have taken a wrong turn some where and have gotten lost along the way. i do not feel i am a submissive or a slave anylonger. i feel i have just become something that dosent deserve happyness. and that cant please anyone. i some times wonder if the battle will ever die or if it will kill me before its even over.
i want the voices to stop this battle but they do not listen to me. they ignore me and keep fighting back and forth i fear they will be the death of me. they are so loud so loud with in my head. why wont they stop why cant they just leave me alone. |
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I miss Him so badly i just want to hold Him in my arms and tell Him how sorry i am for fucking our lives up.. my world crashed the day i lost Him.. and now i lost every thing eles that i hold dear i hate the holidays i just feel dead deep in side.. it hurts so bad.. knowing that i have no clue where he is any more.. He is only 6 and i dont get to see Him at all i have so many cards and toys to give Him but sence i have no clue where he is they sit in my closet and collect dust i pray when he turns 16 He will find me.. if He even remembers me.. god i miss Him so much.. come christmas time ill have lost my mind.. |
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I hate this feeling i am having i just wish it would go away. but the more i stay in this state the more i reaslize i have nothing left to even be greatful for i have no friends i have people that claim to be friends but in the end they just end up stabbing me in the back..
they will be all polite and ask me how i am doing then they will start talking about my ex and as soon as i say somthing about him and his new soon to be wife. they run to him and tell him what i have said.. i am sorry but where i come from that aint friends thats back stabbing twits.
before i moved to be with him in his stupid state.. i never talked about my feelings never told a soul how i was doing.. i need to learn how to trape those feelings back down in side this way i wont tell people how i am feeling..
i get so tired of thinking i have friends when they end up just stabbing me in the back again. i dont need friends like that i need friends that will actually listen and keep secrets if i have secrets to share
or even if its just to hang out and shoot the breeze i am not one to talk speically if i am upset i rather just hang out with people even if its playing cards or video games or what not. .
but like i said i have to learn how to trap my feelings in side again before i can even do that.. i hate talking to people about how things are going because i feel i am just burdoning them with everything.. and its not their place to take that burdon even if they are friends or so called friends..
now that i got the real life friends out of the way.. on to the online ones.
i have over a dozen or so online friends from all over i have them from indiana to montana to new jersey and more.
i may not talk to you all like i use to but that dont mean i dont hold you in my heart nor dose it mean i dont love you any more. i love you til the end of earth and for ever and a day. at least i know if i truely need a place to crash all i have t o do is get a hold of yous.. and tell you whats going on and you welcome me with opened arms. but i dont do that because i dont burdon my friends at least not like that.. in stead i reach for your shoulder and let a few tears fall for all my friends know i hate crying most of all..
(tobe continued)
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i am the bitch your parents warned you about im the devil that hides under your bed and waits for you to fall a sleep at night.. im the angel that will give you hell i am the demon that will push you away i am the imp that loves to play tricks i am the pixie that can never be caught i am the wolf that runs wild and free and will stay that way til i think its time to be captured again! |
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the angels let their tears fall as they call another one home he was younge but the father needed Him more then his family and friends..
we shed our tears of saddness but we try and stand strong for we know that he is back home where he wanted to be.. it still is hard but we do our best we have our memories that will always be with us of the fun we have shared and the bad times as well ...
beloved brother and friend went home with the angels 11-15-2009 RIP my friend
I miss you I miss how we use to wrestle in till you felt you where getting to serious to play any more then we would sit and talk about things for hours and hours I wish you where still here with me... |
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the all amarican dream....
to find the one of Y/your dreams to be married to that One. to have a family with that One.. to have a Home. with that One.. a car a dog. or cat or maybe both.. to spend Y/your every waking hour with that One..
but that is all it is is a dream.. there is no such thing as happy endings.. there is no such things as fairy tails.. its reality..
Grant some do get lucky and fine their One.. and spend their lives with them.. but others are not so lucky they think they find their One.but in the end they just end up wasting their time.. for it falls apart after a year or so.. I apploud the Ones that are happly Married/collard/owned to their Ones and wish them many many lovely years.. |
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No matter how hard i try to get out of this slump i am in i just get pushed right back in. i am tried of being treated like trash and being beat on like i am his personal punching bag. just because somthing pisses him off he thinks he can beat on me because i am here.. he still acts like he owns me but he dose not.. no matter how hard i try to walk away from him he just drags me right back and starts his shit again he is with this new girl i dont deserve to be treated good but i dont deserve to be a punching bag for ANYONE! i am not a animal or a object i am a person i have feelings i had a heart at one point in time..
now i come to find out that the house i am in right now is being sold from under me so i am really screwed but i am a tough lil bitch so i can deal i am sure i will figure somthing out if not owell.. the saying goes lifes a bitch then you die.. you either fight or die.. |
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so many people have veiwed my profile and i thank them i am also sorry if i seem a bit offish but i have become confused and lost and dont even know who or what i am any more.
i do not know if i seek a Dom/Master or any thing of that any more i do know that i truely only want friends. I loved being owned i loved the feel of a Dom/Masters touch but that has all changed with in the few months.. I shutter at the thought of letting a nother touch me for i am scared that i will be hurt again. my heart has not healed to where it should be i do not know if i will be able to love again or to let some one in that wants to love and hold me. i fear have been broken to where i cant not heal fully back to the playfully lil brat i once was i have so many demons with in my head i fear they will come out and i will end up pushing more people away. but only time will tell... then again no one knows how much time they have on their side. |
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halloween is here once again.. i sit here and watch the familes out with their children wishing i was out with mine missing him so much it hurts so bad but now i have even more emptyness in side for this time its going to be even worse for i have lost my Master.. and so i sit here dreading the day. halloween arives my heart breaks more.. and i feel so empty in side.. just wishin and hoping somthing would go right so my favorite holiday isnt such a fright.. but even i know that it wont go right for i wont have my child nor my Master with me any more.. i am dreaded to spend this frightful night alone! |
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The nights grow colder i fight with the demons in side my head telling me life isnt worth living. i have nothing left to live for i have lost everything that i care and love the most. and now i sit here alone and fight with them. .i hold the knife to my wrist and im ready to cut but somthing is holding me back. i just dont know what it is i want it all to go away. I am tired of feeling this way... if nothing is going right then why shouldnt i let the demons win?
(not finished just ran out of thoughts)
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for those of You who know me and know how i am and that i was happyly collard.. i am no longer collard or even spoken for. .my Master of 4yrs has left me for a girl that isnt even in the lifestyle. he claims to have fallin out of love with me six months a go.. and in love with her.
but i am so vary confused and lost.. i know im probably in the wrong but so is he.. he told me that i was his fuck toy.. so while he is still here with me he is fucking me.. there are days he will be on the phone with her and still having me do things to him... i truely do not belive he is in love with her..
i guess.. i am trying to figure out is how i can be his fuck toy if he cliams to be in love with this chick.. how can he cheat on her with me after he dumped me augest 24th.. and still kept sleeping with me.. he has even told her that he moved to the back room because he is 2 much in love with her.. but he didnt move to the back room at all he is still sleeping in my bed with me..
like i said i am confused and lost.. i am even hurting deep in side.. been with him for 4yrs jus to loose him to a bitch he has only knowin for 6 months.. i am scared i have been with him to long i have forgotten how to take care o my self on my own.. if i have no one to take care of other then my self i can not do it. .
i have to have some one to take care of or i will fail i use to be a ble to take care of myself and not need any one but i have grown so use to having some one around to take care of like a good little girl. .and now i am lost and dont think i can do it.. i dont normaly say i am afraid of any thing but damn it i am a fraid i am afraid i will mess up.. or hook up with the wrong person and be hurt even worse then he has. hurt me |
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watching the sky turn dark with clouds hearing the thunder rumble in the distence
i grab my drink and sit out on the portch waiting for the storm to hit.
the wind softly blowing the leaves that is left from the winter
watching them dance across the street
she looks up to see a shadow standing beside the bushes
she jumps just a little before the shadow comes in to the light she laughs at her sel
f realizing it was just her friend geo he chuckles softly noticing that he scared her.
she laughs a little then punches him in the shoulder and scolds him for scaring her like that
just as she started to sit back down he grabs her up and kisses her forhead saying im sorry dear for scaring you
but i know how you sort of dont like thunderstorms so i thought i would come over and keep you company
til your ol man gets home kissing his cheek and giving him a hug she whispers thank you for the thought but
ive sort of over come the fear of thunderstorms now i just sit out side and watch them.
sitting back down she pulls him down with her she takes his hand in her's and
lays her head on His shoulder jumping a lil as bolt of lightening strikes the ground
and a roar of thunder crashes through the sky. He chuckles and pulls her closer to Him
in the most softest of voices he says now now child its alright the big bad storm cant hurt you none
chuckling she elbows him in the side im not a child i may ack it at times but im not so i havent quite got
over the fear of thunderstroms but mind you i aint sat out side drunin one sence mom was alive. He
leans down and kisses the top of her head and whispers i know hon i was just givin you hell trying to make you laugh
then He ask's where is the ol man at she looks at Him then back to the sky as a nother bolt crashes down at the house beside her
he is at work he should be home any min now if he dont have to work late. she chuckles i aint even got dinner cookin yet..
rising up to her feet she dusts the dirt off her ass grabing her empty glass
she then offers Him her hand come in side while i find somthing to throw in the oven
this way He gots somthin to eat when he gets home after i throw it in the oven we can go out for a walk catch up on old times. after she throws the dinner she grabs His hand and says lets go just as they get on to the portch it starts pouring down rain she looks at Him and ask do you remember when we use to walk in the rain like this chuckling he says yes i do.. now lets go ! laughing softly she says god im glad my Master lets me go out with you knowing that you will watch over me and keep me safe.. taking his hand they step off the portch just as a bolt of lighting hits the street right in front of her house she looks at Him and whispers how about we just stay in side and talk.. til Master gets home.. He nods and they go back inside about two hrs later she hears the door open seeing her master walk through the door soaking wet.. she looks at Him and laughs just a lil before running to the bedroom for a towel and dry clothes for Him to slip in to..
as she runs back in to the living room she notices her Master sitting on the couch getting it drenched she looks at Him wided eyed and says master what are you doing? He laughs saying im talking to Your friend of course seeing that she says wel lYour getting the couch all wet.. git up i brought you some dry clothes and a towel... chuckling her master rises to his feet takes the clothes and goes to the bathroom to change from the wet ones to the dry ones........*TO BE CONTINUED*
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What are friends?
Friends are people that stand by you through the bad and the good thick and thin Friends are people who will stick up for you when some one is trying to start a fight Friends are people who listen to your problams and try to help you through them Friends are people who will not let you take the blame for somthing others done Friends are people who are there for you when you need a shoulder to cry on Friends are people who will drink and laugh with you Friends are there for you no matter what time of day it is day or night they are always around for you. Friends are people who wont let you hang so if you have a best friend let them know you care and are glad they are your friends and let them know that you are there for them no matter what. dont let them hang when they need you the most!
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LOLLI
i sucked on a lolly i put it in my mouth and i sucked it really good i teased my tongue around it and i made it feel good
i slid it down and i slid it out.. i licked it good wouldnt you liked to of been the lolli i sucked last night?
i moved it down a lil more i sucked it til i coudnt suck no more
i wished it was a cock that i was sucking in stead of a lolli
but for the best of it. it tasted of blueberry
and i enjoyed the taste as i sucked on my lolli..
teasing it so..
are you sure you dont wish you was the lolli i sucked on last night... i
teased it and teased it til it turned my tunge blue
i sucked on it til it grew vary small
i moaned as i sucked and i couldnt help it but cum..
god why couldnt it of been your cock i was sucking on
i came so hard as i sucked on the lolli
i moaned and i whimperd just as if it was a lovely thick cock
i was sucking on.. i cryied when the lolli was gone
then i dug through my drawer and found one more
so i popped it in my mouth and started sucking on it..
moaning and teasing my tongue til i cumed once more
i wiggled and squirmed and moaned so loud that my went to space and my body went numb i dreamed my lolli was a big thick cock that i was sucking on.. oh do you wish your cock was the lolli i was sucking on..
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July 5th. 2003.... the best day of my life i never thought i could do it but when i held you in my arms my world was complete just looking in to your big blueeyes i new i was going to be happy i never thought any thing would go wrong. then one day out of stupidness i messed our world up.. i got with the wrong crowed and put you through hell. i shouldnt of left i should of told them i didnt need to find anyone to help take care of you i was doing fine on my own and with grandma and grandpas help.. i hurt them and i hurt you. but being so stupid. i miss you my boy and love you so much happy 6th birthday.. i wish i could see you now to see how big you are |
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The days grow long and the nights grow cold my heart breaks as the days go on i know the day is coming soon i dont know if i can handle it any more not having Him in mylife is killing me deep inside my soul and my heart i cry every night i hide my tears the best i can but i fail i fail at everything i do and i hurt everyone that i touch. i cant go on living like this i just want the nights and days to end i want to be dead but i cant find a way to do it to where i dont suffer any more. my life is not worth living any more i have nothing left i know i have my boyfriend but that isnt enough i really want i want my family back i have nothing left why should i keep living if i have nothing left? life is not worth living any more why cant it just end and be over with why must i go through the pain and the heart ach knowing what i did.. why is he punishing me so. now i dont even have my boyfriend any more again i hurt everything i touch and i lose everything i love.. why do i bother even living any more.. this pain i am going through isnt worth it anymore i just want to die i want to end this missory i am in. I want it to all go back to the way it was but even i know thats a dream that will never come true.. so why live when there is nothing but pain and missory? |
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why do i feel things are my fault even when i am told they are not? i
guess its because of the comments that are made.. owell lifes a bitch now so am i.. i will not grow close to anyone i wil not let anyone grow close to me.
i dont want friends any longer i want nothing.. i do not need them and they sure the fuck dont need me..
call me a fake call me a player i dont give a flying fuck any more.. just leave me be!
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sitting here listening to the raideo the one song that you wish you never heard again comes on you feel your heart breaking with ever beat of the song then you try to fight back the tears but they just start rolling down your cheeks like a river you wipe one away a nother comes. you want to turn the raideo off but yet your stuck listening to that song wishing everything was diffrent that none of this has happend losing the ones you hold so close.
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as the nights grow cold my heart turns to stone i have nothing left to give to anyone or anything i just want things to go back to the way they where even if that means not being being here with Him or even owned id turn back the tables to have my mother and my son back in my life once more but i know this wont happen for my mother is gone and my lilone probably dont have a clue who i am. id give my life to make things right once again. why i messed up i have no clue i dont even know what i did wrong to lose everything i hold dear and close to my heart |
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*JUST A STORY* no longer just a story but its not my fault its his.. he is the one who left me for a nother bitch i didnt leave him i just dont feel like rewriting this
the nights turn cold the bed Y/you both slept it at one time is now empty He has gone and you are left alone you wish He never left you wanted to work it out but now its cold in the room you both shared.. He talks to you ever now and thn but you wish it was diffrent and that you where still wearing his collar you miss His touch and you miss His voice.. you where the one that messed it up not Him..
you regret ever letting a nother man put his hands on you.. You have Him your word No one would ever touch you because you belong to Him and Him alone.. but one night when he wasnt home. you let another man touch where he shouldnt of. now because of that your neck is bare and your room is cold.. you miss shivering when he runs his fingers down your flesh. you miss the way He made You feel. you regret everything that happend that day.. that one night tore your world apart. you are now left in the darkness and will never love again.. you hurt him badly and you know you did but nothing you do will ever change what you did he released you of his collar and told you to get lost. you have lost the Man and the Master you loved with every part of your body.. because you where stupid and let a nother man touch you
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sitting here thinking of all the things that have went wrong in the past and what you have done wrong you see the future wondering to your self if its really worth waiting for when its so easy in the back of your mind to end it all.. the thought of not living for the furture sits in the back of your mind you keep thinking well maybe youll see him again or maybe he wont even look for you and you would do anything to bring the one's you lost back. but that is impossible.
you look at all the pills you look at al lthe drugs that come around you but you never once touch them you do your best to fight the pain and to keep holding on but as the holidays grow near everything starts to get harder to avoid.. you just want everything to end you know its wrong but you just cant fight any more and giving up seems the easyst thing to do.......
there are days you just dont want to live there are days you enjoy life but sooner or later you know you will fail and end it all just dont know when that day will come |
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The nights grow colder and You want some that You can snuggle up close to next to the fire and watch it burn You yearn for the One that will capture Your heart and put it in chains You beg for the One that will show His undying love to You.. You are tired of being alone all the time. You want the one that You can talk with and laugh with. on the cold nights. but in stead You sit in front of the fire and just watch it burn in quiet.. no talking not laughter Your heart is breaking in stead of beating with chains and happiness.
Then one day You hear a knock at the door.. a gentleman in a Long black coat stands in front of You.. Your heart skips a beat as He ask to enter. You let Him in and take His coat.. You think to Your self could this be the One You have been waiting for? You ask if He would like something to to drink.. as He sits in the chair next to the fire. The Gentleman says yes please. You rush off to the kitchen and grab Him a drink.. then You come back and hand Him his drink. then You go to sit on the couch but before You can sit down He tells you to come kneel beside Him. Your heart beats even faster at the words He spoke.. You walk over to Him and drop to your knees in front of Him.
He smiles down at you as He looks You up and down.. a soft red blush brushes over your cheeks as you feel His eyes on you..you shiver as a cold draft runs down your spine when He reaches out to touch your hand.. You pull your hand away.. afraid of what might happen i you let this stranger get to close.. You know nothing about Him but yet You hope He is Your One.. in Your mind You are screaming run.. but your heart is saying stay.. if you run you will never know what might happen..
He then tells you its OK lilone i will not hurt you.. i haven no plane nor need of doing so. He tells her that He got lost in the snow and He saw her lights where on He only came here to get warm.. and to maby have a Drink.. He looks down at her and winks.. she looks up and smiles at Him.. as she rises to her feet to refill His drink
she careful walks back out to Him and kneels down.. offering Him his drink smiling up at Him.. He says thank you lilone and takes a sip.. she goes back to watching the flames dance in the fire place..
He smiles and and looks down at her.. He tells her to go and reenter the room.. and when she dose .she is to strip for Him.. she looks up and smiles at Him whispering yes Sir.. she quickly rises to her feet.. and exits the room.. she then walks back to the entrance way dropping down to her knees she softly begs Him if she may return to Him.. He says yes girl you may..
she smiles quietly walks in to the room unbuttoning her blue silk shirt she lets it fall to the floor she then slowly moves her hands up her chest reaching back and undoes her black lace bra letting it fall on top of her shirt. she then runs her hands down her tummy to her black wrangler jeans.. letting her hands roam down to the button she slowly undoes them.. taking the zipper down slow before she wiggles out of her jeans.. letting them fall on top of her shirt and bra..
she then picks up her shirt folding it nicely then picks up her bra and neatly places it down on her shirt.. reaching down for her pants.. her ass in the air as she leans down and picks them up folding them ever so nicely she places them on top of her bra and shirt.. she then picks them up and puts them in the corner nicely..
quietly but quickly walks over dropping down to her knees her ass slightly up in the air her thights spread showing her heat. she places her arms flate on the floor placing her palms down.. lowering her head her forehead touching the floor looking to the left.
the stone floor is cool under her naked flesh but she stays ever so still waiting for her Master to tell her she can move.. with Him saying she can move .
she then crawls over to the wall where there are shackles and chainesraising her hands above her head she crosses her wrist waiting for Master to chain her wrist.. then she spreads her thighs crossing her ankles.. waiting to be shackled..
wanting to be used fully by her Master she begs Him in the most softest of voice.. please Master use this slut for Your delight and pleasure..
waiting useage of her Master she looks up at Him wondering what He will do to her.. she then whimpers asking herself why is he taking so long did she do something wrong she feels the tears swelling up in her eyes fearing He is thinking of a punishment for her even though she has no idea what she has done wrong.. He is taking to long to use her..she ask if she can get Him a drink while He thinks of what He will do to her.. in a stern voice He says yes slut you can get me a drink.
smiling as she quietly rises to her feet. Her long blond hair flowing over her shoulders her slave bells making the most prettiest jingle as she walks to the kitchen. she reaches up she grabs a golden tray carefuly and quietly places it down on the counter. she then dances over to the other cupboard and grabs a golden goblet with rubies along the rim. she moves back over to the tray kisses the rim of the goblet then places it down on the tray making sure where she kissed that faces her Master.
she then dances around just a little bit before grabbing a bottle of Jim Beam. Carefully walks back over her bells making a little noise as she goes about making the Masters drink.. she carefully puts the bottle down on the counter. she then goes to the frig and grabs a can of coke. she moves back over to the counter placing the coke down she picks up the bottle of Jim Beam carefully making sure not to spill any she pours some into the goblet she then places the bottle back on the counter grabbing the can of coke makng sure not to spill any of that either she pours it in to the goblet mixing it with the Jim Beam. she then goes and throws the can away and puts the lid back on the bottle she puts it back .
she then goes and grabs a red rose placing it next to the goblet on the tray picking up the tray she carefully and gently walks out of the kitchen her bells making soft jingles. she reaches Master drops to her knees her naked body in front of Him she bows her head lowering her eyes to the floor her thighs are parted slightly showing her heat holds her back straight thrusting her breast up wards as she places the tray on her lap shivering at the cold of the tray she picks up Masters Drink and offers it to Him she prays that He is happy with His drink. she really wants to change His mind if His thinking of a punishment for she has no clue what she has done wrong. shivering softly as she fights back her tears as she watches Him take a sip of His drink
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the day He lets You go is the day You will be 6ft under he beats You till you are damn near bleeding to death. He tells you to kneel you fight but then he kicks you in the ribs and you drop to your knees He says you are to obey Him you look up at Him with anger in your eyes and tell Him You will never obey Him. You tell Him he is nothing To you not a Master not a Boyfriend you are noting.. He reaches around and slaps you across the face you yelp as blood comes from your lips. You rise to your feet and He just kicks you down again.. You yelp and cry and tell Him to let you be but he just laughs in your face as he kicks you in the gut you gasp for air. but cant catch a breath. he then latches a leash to your collar that he forced upon your neck and drags you down to his dungeon. You beg and plead for Him to let go but he just keeps dragging and laughing at You as soon as You get down stairs he throws you in to small cage and tells You this is where you will sleep and eat sense You don't want to obey. you spit at Him saying You cant keep me here i do not belong to You.. he then laughs and kicks the cage making you shiver in fear.. He leaves You down in the dark dungeon and in the small cage for four days with out food or water. You hear the door to the dungeon open and you start to shiver. he comes down whistling a tune..swinging a whip you look at Him in fear with a weak voice you ask what He is going to do to you. He just laughs and drags you out of the cage. you try to fight him but sence You are weak from not eating or drinking any thing you cant fight and just follow him as he pulls on the leash attached to your collar. in a stern and angry voice He ask are You ready to obey me bitch.. you look up at Him with a weak smile across your lips and say i will never obey You. as You say that he rises the whip up and brings it across Your back. letting out a scream you beg Him to stop.. He ask again are You going to obey me. whimpering and crying you let out a NO.. as You say no He rises up again this time letting the whip crack in the air as it comes down on the other side of Your back.. whimpering and feeling the blood run down He ask You again.. are you going to obey me bitch.. whipping the tears away trying to catch your breath through the sobs you whimper no Sir she is not going to obey You.. He growls and rises the whip up and cracks it across your ass and back at the same time. you scream out in pain. He yells are you gong to obey me now you little whore with pain and blood running down your back you whimper and cry yes Sir i will obey You.. he then lets the whip crack Your skin once more just to remind you that you are his now.. and you will do as told for now on. He drags you upstairs and over to his chair. He then ties your leash to His chair and cuffs your hands and legs to the floor knowing you cant move.. he says sit still as he leaves the room. you sit vary still making sure not to move a muscle. He returns careing a tray with a bowl and towls on it. you look up at Him. he looks down at you and says good slut as he sits down. you squirm as He sits down nxt to you. in a Stirn voice He says sit still bitch i didnt tell You to move.. you become still as a statue.. He then dips a towl in the bowl. you watch as he rings it out.. and places it on Your back . you whimper as it starts to sting.. he runs his hands down your cheek and whispers i can be vary caring but can be vary strict when i have to be. He then says if You want to be beat like this again defy me but if not then obey me.. you whimper and say will not disobey You again Sir.. He then says good girl as he cleans the rest of the wounds. when He is finished He tells You to go upstairs and change in to some silver silks. and come back down and kneel in front of Him. You say yes Sir and rise to your feet and quickly go upstairs to change.
fighting back her tears as she walks up the stairs to the room.. letting out little whimpers to where He can not hear her. with every step she takes holding on to her ribs.. as soon as she gets to her room she falls on the floor out of breath.. and jut lets the tears fall.. feeling the coldness of the floor under her battered body she just lays there for a while till she hears Him scream for her. she slowly crawls to her knees grabbing on to the side of the bed as she pulls her self up.. whipping the tears away she slowly slips out of her toren black shirt.. and white lace bra.. she then slides out of her toren jeans.. leaving them in a mess on the floor. .she grabs the ugly silver silks he layed out for her and slips in to them..she then takes a deep breath before leaving the room to go back to Him.. her body is telling her to stay in what for now is the safty of the room.. but she knows not to disobey Him again because the next time He beats her might be her last.. she quickly runs down the stairs holding her ribs.. as she runs and kneels in front of Him lowering her eyes to the floor.. He yells what took You so long.. she lifts her eyes and apologizes to Him.. sorry Sir. girl had trouble getting in to her silks.. He slaps her across the face.. and yells next time DONT take too long.. she whimpers in fear and pain yes Sir
He smiles down at you admiring everything about You.. He says You will be my pet my sub and my girl. lowering your eyes to the floor you whisper yes Sir.
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she wakes up the next morning sitting up in the bed she looks down at her sky blue comforter seeing a lil bit of blood from one of her wounds that she forgot to cover up.. she jumps out of bed she looks at the clock it reads 10 till 11 ...oh my she gasps how did i sleep in so long master is going to be so mad i didn't get his coffee before work she thinks to herself and feels a trembling that almost takes her legs from under her knowing once again the training will consume her evening ...she notices the list her master left for her chores for the day
how long she wonders will it take until she knows her masters mind so she can do better and the training will ease ...in a rush she runs downstairs and fills a bucket with hot soapy bubbles. walking in to the living room she looks at all the blood that is on the tiles.. she lets out a soft sigh and she drops down to her knees and starts to scrub.. she looks at the clock..then goes back to scrubbing praying to god she will get everything done before He gets Home.. she already knows she is going to get a beating for not having His coffee ready for Him this morning before He left for work.. she shutters as the picture of her being beat again comes in to her mind.. she goes back to scrubbing the floor getting every drop of her blood of the marble tile.
then taking the bucket out side she dumps it in the rose bush.. smiling knowing at least the flowers will stay watered she wonders how long till she sees the lovely roses bloom.
walking back in to the house she looks out side seeing the grass needs to be cut. but first she has to do the inside of the house.. sighing softly she closes the doors.. and locks them.. she glances back at the clock reading a quarter to 12. she then walks up stairs to the bedroom.. taking the sky blue comforter and matching sheets off the bed. she goes to the closet grabs a black comforter with roses on it.. and the matching sheets and pillow cases.. She carefully puts the fitted sheet on the bed making sure to get all the wrinkles out knowing Master hates wrinkles on. she then gets the other sheet.. and puts it on. doing the same making it straight getting all the wrinkles out . she then grabs the heavy comforter and puts it on the bed tucking the pillows under it.. then places a mint on Masters side of the bed on His pillow. she then grabs the dirty sheet and comforter walks down the stairs to the basement where the washer and dryer is.. she places them on the floor. she puts the clothes that are in the washer into the dryer. then start it on high.. she then starts the washer adding a a lil bit of oxy clean to get her blood out of the comforter. she then adds a half a cap full of soap.. letting it bubble for a min. she then picks up the sheets first and places them in the washer then she grabs the pillow cases and the comforter..placing them in.. she closes the lid and goes back up stairs.. to the kitchen.. she looks in the freezer for some chicken.. she takes it out puts it in the sink.. and runs hot water over it.. looking up at the clock it reads 10 till 2 she whimpers softly praying she will get done soon for He will be home in a few hrs..
she hears the door bell ring.. she drys her hands off and runs to answer it.. at the door is a Man she has never seen before. she looks at Him stunned he pushed him self in to her home.. and before she could say a word the stranger grabs her by the hair and pulls her to the dinning room. she tells Him to get out but the man just laughs he says Your Master sent me here to use His lil bitch. she looks at Him just as she was going to say you are lying her phone rings she answers it..
its her Master. He says there is a man coming over to use You.. she whispers softly He is already here Master..she hangs up the phone.. and looks at the man.. what do you want to do with me she ask.. The man says.. nothing just stair at her.. she shutters feeling scared to death of this stranger in her house.. she looks at the clock while the man stairs her down.. it reads five mins till 3
she begs Him to please hurry for she has to yet do dinner and clean the rest of this house before He gets home.. just as she finished the statement the man leans down and kisses her deeply and passantily something She has never felt before.. the man then pulls away from he rand goes in to the kitchen.. she fallows behind Him. not knowing what he is looking for. He looks at her.. then says You where doing dishes.. she lowers her eyes yes Sir she was. then out of the blue the man takes the towel from her waste band.she jumps a lil startled..
He then kisses her again.. and swatts her ass.. and says .. go do the rest of your chores.. if Your Master ask.. i used you like a lil whore.. and He started to wash her dishes.. she bows.. runs off to the dungeon.. and starts cleaning it.. polishing the sex toys from big vibs to lil ones and to the anal beeds .. polishing the handcuffs.. and the whips she straightens everything up..
making sure it looks nice.. she is pleased with her self as she shuts off the light and walks back up stairs..
she goes to the kitchen looks at the clock it says 3:20 she then goes to the frig and gets out the potatoes.. the man looks at the clock too.. as he puts the rest of the dishes in the strainer.. He leans down and kisses her once more.. sorry lilone he says but i must go..
remember tell Your Master i used You well.. tell Him i made You suck my cock. and i rammed it in your pussy till you screamed in pain.. she lowers her eyes to the floor.. sorry Sir but He will not believe that.. there are no marks on her.. out of know where the man back hands her.. she yelps in pain feeling her blood running down the side of her lip.. she looks at Him.. the man says now He will.. he kisses her once more and leaves her dazed and confused.
she whips the blood off her lip and goes back to peeling the potatoes.. she then gets a pan and puts the chicken in to it. .adding a lil salt a lil pepper.. and some other type of seasoning that she don't know how to pronounce. she turns the oven on to 450. places the chicken in adding a lil water to the chicken
then
she adds water to a another pot and cuts up the potatoes and places them in.. she looks up at the clock it reads 5 mins till 4. she smiles knowing she is almost done with her chores. she then runs up stairs gets in to a pair of black jeans and a white tank top. and she puts on her white tennis shoes so she can go mow the lawn..she puts her watch on her wrist so she can keep track of the time. she grabs her white silks out of the closet and nicely lays them on the bed.. so she can change in to them when she is done mowing the lawn
she would like to take a small break to relax for a moment or two but she knows she cant there is no time for her to take breaks He will be home at any time.. she dose not want to be caught sitting down when there are things to do. that just means that she will be beat more..
she walks out side.. and goes to the shed she pushes the lawn mower out of the shed and pulls on the string to get it started.. she then goes down in a line .. and an other line making it look as if she has done it professionally she dose not want to show a bad lawn for it will make her Master look bad..
finally getting the last part of the law done she takes the mower back to the shed.. dust off her shoes and heads in side. she goes and checks on dinner looking a the clock its almost five she gives the chicken a turn.. then dashes up stairs.. she takes a quick shower..then drys off she goes and gets in to her silks. .and dashes down stairs..
she goes over to the trunk in the corner opens it up and carefully takes out a table cloth.. she then slowly walks over to the table carefully unfolds the table cloth.. placing it on the table walking around straighting out the corners making sure its just right no wrinkles and that its even.. smiling at her work. she then bows to Master before going in to the kitchen to check on the food she is making..
she slowly walks over to the counter reaches under it and grabs a gold tray.. rising it she carefully places it down on the counter.. humming as she works on getting Master dinner ready she goes to the cabinet next to the stove reaches up on her tip toes and grabs a gold plate.. she gentley puts it down on the counter.. reaching in the drawer for a fork knife and spoon.. she takes them over and puts them in a line down on the tray.. smiling she walks back over to the stove. checks on the chicken.. smiling to her self she carefully places a breast thigh and wing down on the plate.. making sure to leave room. she gets a spoonful of mash potatoes. and then some gravy. she then makes sure the green beans are just right before putting a spoonful making sure not to touch the mash potatoes. and gravy..
carefully picks up the plate.. walking over to the tray.. placing the plate down gently on the tray
slowly picks it up and walks out to the dinning room.. she places the tray down on the table..
kneels down next to Her Masters chair waiting His arrival..her head bowed her thighs spread slightly not showing her heat.. her back straight.. she hears the door open she looks up quickly then lowers her head back to the floor.. she hears Him say god dinner smells good..she lets a soft giggle escape her lips as He sits down in His chair.. |
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kneeling down next to her Masters chair waiting His arrival..her head bowed her thighs spread slightly not showing her heat.. her back straight.. she hears the door open she looks up quickly then lowers her head back to the floor.. she hears Him say god dinner smells good..she lets a soft giggle escape her lips as He sits down in His chair. He places His napkin on His lap she sits there and dose not say a word not moves while He eats. He finishes His dinner placing the napkin on His plate He snaps His finger for her to take His plate to the kitchen. she rises to her feet grabbing His plate. as she reaches to grab it He swats her on the ass she jumps wondering what that was for He just smiles she quickly takes His plate to the kitchen when she comes back. He ask are you going to eat girl. she softly whispers no Master she only made enough for You for You did not tell her she could eat today.. He nods.. and then ask how was her day. she says it was ok Master. He then ask did You like the visitor today she looks at Him and says yes master. Smiling He says good hopes He used you well.
she looks up at Him yes Master He did.. as she rubs where He had back handed her. He grabs her face she whimpers He then ask is that from Him. she whispers yes Master.. He raises His right hand that he wears a gold ring on He then back hands her on the other side of her face. she crys out in pain feeling the ring cut her lip. she looks up at Him confused on why He had did that. He says because He can and he felt like it.. she quietly whispers yes Master as You wish. He then slaps her again.. and yells at her to go do the dishes and hurry back to Him.. she dashes to the kitchen.. and starts the dish water. as it runs she puts all the pans nicely on the counter along with the plate and silverware from dinner. when she is done she adds the dish soap to the water then puts the pans in the water.. she goes and finds a scratcher.. so she can get all the chicken skin and grease out of the pan and the mash potato's and gravy.. she scrubs till they are spotless placing them in the rinse water she rises and sets them up to dry. she then grabs the plate and silverware. and washes them getting the silverware to shine she then scrubs the plate clean and places it with the pans on the drying rack..
she scrubs down the counters and the stove.. letting the dirty dish water out and puts the scratcher on the sink. she then runs back in to the dinning room her slave bells singing as she runs she drops down to her knees in front of her Master. He reaches down and grabs her by the hair and ask do you know what is coming next girl. she looks up softly saying no Sir she dose not.. He slaps her again across the face and says You have a punishment coming. she begs Him not to she is sorry for what ever she did. He says do not beg its not becoming of you. You did not get up on time and did not get My coffee before I had to leave for work. she softly whispers it was a accident she did not mean to sleep in. He yells at her shut the hell up you know better and you know the rules I am to have my coffee ready for me by the time I am out of My shower..
He lets go of her hair just so He can stand up..He then tares her silks from her body after He is done doing that He then grabs her hair again yanking her to her feet pulling her down to the dungeon there he throws her on to the table pulling her arms out ward and cuffs them to the table. He then pulls her legs to where they are spread wide. and cuffs them.. He walks over to the spreader bars looking for just the right one he grabs a chrome one. turning around to look at her she is fighting back her tears. He walks over to her placing the bar between her thighs. she can no longer hold back her tears she starts to cry. he slaps her across the face telling her to shut up. unable to shut up he walks over and grab a ball gag then walks back over to here he grabs her hair and pulls her head up forcing the ball gag in her mouth..He then slams her head down on the table hearing her try to scream through the gag. He just looks at her then goes over and grabs His whip. from where he stands he unwinds the whip and racks it across her chest. she bites down on the ball gag feeling the sting of His whip. He dose it again this time harder on her left breast she crys out but unable to let it all the way out because of the gag. she trys to move He then takes the whip to her right breast He dose it about twenty times on each breast then moves the whip down to her tummy. Letting the whip crack in the air before giving her twenty lashes on her tummy she bites down harder on the ball gag wishing she could cry out in pain. He just looks at Her.. seeing the bleeding welts..
He moves the whip to her thighs and legs He says shake your head yes or no if You are ever going to sleep in again. she dose not move for she did not hear Him because of the beating of her heart being so loud from the pain He says you stupid bitch and gives her a another twenty lashing on each thigh and each of her legs. He places the whip down and walks over to her. she looks at Him terrified he uncuffs her arms and legs.. then forcefully rolls her off the table she lands on the hard tiles with a thud. crying and trying to beg Him to stop through the gag He picks her up by the hair and slams her face first on to the table.. He then cuffs her arms and legs once more making sure the spreader bar is still in place. He then goes and picks the whip back up and says I will ask You once more bitch will you ever sleep in again. she goes to shake her head no but He says You are taking to long letting the whip crack across her back she puts her face on the table her tears now soaking her face. feeling Him drag the whip down to her ass.. she shakes her head no.. and she hears Him laugh as the whip leaves her ass she lets out a soft sigh thinking He is done.. then out of the blue he cracks her left check thirty times then moves to the left cracking the whip over and over again to make a another thirty times.
He then walks over to her and runs His hands over the bloody welts.. crying harder because in His hands He was holding salt.. rubbing it in to her wounds He says You better not or you will get worse then this.. He removes the ball gag just to hear her cry..taking deep breaths as she trys to stop crying she says she is sorry for sleeping in Master will not do it again. will make sure You have Your coffee before You go to work..He slaps her ass with the rest of the salt in His hands she screams out in pain.. He then removes the bar.. and uncuffs her.. and pushes her off the table again she hits the tiles. she rises to her knees feeling the coldness of the tiles on her bleeding flesh she looks tat the floor and begs forgiveness.. |
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The chains of happiness have broken now all that is left is the ashes of sadness
here stands a girl who have everything in the world but her world came crashing down
she tried her best to please her Master but in the end it wasn't good enough he had found
another to take her place . She woke up to a letter on the nightstand reading it threw tear filled eyes
it read. I have no use for you any longer pack your bag and put your collar on the night stand and be gone by the time I return home from work she glances over at the clock on the nightstand it reads eight thirty in the morning. Before doing as the letter says she walks down stairs and starts to clean. She washes last nights dishes drys them and puts them away she then moves to the living room picking up the empty beer cans that He had left throwing them away she gets the broom and starts sweeping the title floors. She then goes and gets the mop bucket filling it with warm water she starts to mop the floor making sure they are perfect. Going back up stairs she goes to the bed room and makes the bed nice and neat she looks at the clock it says ten o'clock she knows she only has a few hours left before He is home. So she quickly cleans the rest of the house.. runs back down stairs and put dinner on for when he gets home.. She then runs back up stairs and packs her clothes and belongings she tries to fight back the tears but is not doing a vary good job at it. She picks up the key that unlocks the lock on her collar she then takes it off and places it on the nightstand.
She finds a piece of paper and sits down on the bed. Letting her tears fall as she starts to write
Dear Sir girl is sorry she failed You she tried her best to please You she wishes You the best of luck with the new girl in Your life girl has cleaned the house for You and has put dinner on. She hopes You like what is on.. it is steak and mashed potatoes and gravy. The collar is on the nightstand with the lock and key Sir crying harder she can not stop the tears from falling the letter has tear drops on it as she gets done writing it she sings her name and places it with the collar.
She picks up the phone and calls for a cab to come get her. Before leaving the house she double checks to make sure she got all of her things. Then goes down stairs to the kitchen turning the burners on to a simmer so the food dose not burns and so that the house dose not catch on fire. She goes out side and sits down on the porch laying her head down on her knees waiting for the cab to show. She hears a car pull up. She looks up to see if was the cab to her eyes it was Sir home early from work. Looking at her on the porch.
He said I thought I told you to be gone before I got home from work starting to studder she finely gets out she cleaned the house and put dinner on for You Sir she is waiting for the cab to come and pick her up now. He grabs her by the hair and yanks her to her feet. She lets out a yelp. With that he drags her in to the house yelling at her He says I will get one more use out of your worthless hide.. and throws her to the floor. He then kicks her in the ribs next time I tell you to be gone you will be gone by the time I return she whimpers and cries out I just wanted to make sure your house was spotless and dinner was done for you she didn't know that you would be home so early was not trying to be here when You got home Sir.
He kicks her again and tells her to shut up.. after kicking her they both hear a horn honk.. she goes to rise to her feet. He kicks her back down then walks out the front door looking out the window of the door He sees the cab. He looks over at her and says its your cab.. she looks up at Him. Not knowing what to do she tries to rise to her feet again he snaps at her I didn't tell you to move bitch. He waits for the cab to honk again before he walks out the door and goes to the cab. He gives the driver money to wait. He then walks back in looking at her. He says come here crawls to him. He reaches down and grabs a hand full of hair pulling her up. She whimpers in pain. He then slaps her across the face I will not have a disobedient worthless slave serving Me. That is the only reason You are no longer mine
she looks at Him confused. She thought she had done everything He has asked of her.
He slaps her again and then gives her a push making her fall back to the tiles He goes to the closet
and grabs His whip looking at her with ice cold eyes He tells her to remove her top. She quickly dose as he says even though she dose not want to for she know what is coming next he rises the whip and cracks it across her back. She yelps out in pain feeling it hit her bare flesh..
He dose it about twenty more times with each time its harder then before she can feel the blood running down her flesh from the welts He had left. Whimper she begs Him to stop He stops and puts the whip down then tells her to put her shirt back on she begs Him to let her rinse the blood off He yells no.. now get out your cab is waiting for you. She bows to Him and rises to her feet.. He says something and she stops.. she then says thank You Sir for letting her serve You.
He says begone worthless bitch she runs out grabbing her bags and slips in to the cab
as soon as they drive off she lowers her head and just lets the tears fall the cab drive ask why she is crying she tells him nothing to her self she is crying because her heart is breaking she don't care about the pain from the whip only of the broken heart she has served him for two years she thought he was her world her everything but to find out she was wrong.
The cab driver asked where she was headed she looks up threw tear filled eyes and says she dose not know where to go she has no family or friends here she has no money to go home. He offered to take her home with him but she shakes her head no. she then whispers just drop me off any where she dose not care any more. He ask dose she have cab fair and bus fair and money for food. She shakes her head yes to being able to pay him for the ride. But no to bus fair and food. He stops the car and pulls over. .turning around looking at her. He says he wont charge her for the ride. She went to protest but He stopped her before she could even say no.
He says you look like you have had a horrible day. I don't want to add to it buy taking away money that you need. She whispers thank You. But it dose not matter
she dose not know her way around town or where she can stay.
With her saying that He says your not going to take no for answer You will stay with Me till you can either find a place or get money to go home. She looks up at him and says thank You but You don't have to help her she dose not deserve such kindness He says who ever told You that was dead wrong
you are a beautiful girl with a kind heart and should be treasured now hush no more talk you are coming home with Me and that is fine she whispers softly yes Sir. And just sits back and falls silent the rest of the ride |
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I'm frozen in fear i can not move
I see the fire I feel the heat
but i cant move I'm stuck
I watch as the flames come closer
I can feel my flesh starting to burn
I scream but no one can hear me
I beg for it to stop but it dont
it just keeps coming and coming.
i feel myself starting to burn i can smell my flesh burning in this horrid fire.. i scream again and again but no one can hear me its like i have a gag in my mouth and my screams are muffled but i realize i am only screaming in my head i am so frozen in fear that my screams are silent in my head. i am so scared i beg and pleade i do not want to die this way. i try to move but still can not.. |
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