The Republic of Desire
I am a prisoner in the Republic of Desire
Bound by twisted chains of DNA
I don’t know what I fear most
That I’m a slave to longing
or a master of games.
Aching to ride the roller coasters of sensation
And perhaps ending up alone in dark tunnels
With plywood cutouts of cupid
Or chose the long dull
train ride of monogamy and to work towards a destination you may not even want
To end up alone and brokenhearted surrounded by strangers
counting your suffering in billable hours
Or left alone by a grave…
Again
Wondering why thy never make room for you.
I want to kiss my lovers and tell them to run
And then I beg for them to stay.
I give my emotions to thoughtless companions like a puppy in a box with a ribbon
And then they let it die alone tied to a tree in the rain
Sometimes giving my feelings
is like giving candles to the blind at best just leaves them with a warm feeling
but serves no point they can see.
Are you a fallen angel if you tear off your own wings
Rather than rise in sullen rows
To sing happy songs not of my own choosing
That don’t make me happy.
Feeling better to be used
Than feel useless.
If these chains rust away from my tears
Would I only forge stronger ones
Is it freedom I fear or love
The madness of being cut by the dull knifes
Of boredom and thwarted desire
versus the joy of biting kisses .
But I have climbed different heights in different ways
I have burned with brightness heat and light
If I could chose again would I say more, more
Or it better to lay in predictable shadow
And yet there is a rumor that there is a liberator
Coming and some say he is already here
And I look in a broken mirror and wonder
Where is he and I dare to be unplanned and hope
and fill in my escape tunnel
And walk to the door
Perhaps to be free in lands I do not yet have the names for..