I am actually surprise by the comments about my failure to post a picture and the expectation that I should; perhaps, I am simply wrong.  The truth is that slaves should be ready to accept ownership from an unknown and unseen owner which is why I failed to post a picture.  In other words, this amounts to a preliminary test.  I am sorry if this offend, but is is reality!

It is fascinating to me how things change in the life of a person and how certain basic drives remain constant.  One of the things that remains constant for everybody is the essential need to relax; without that opportunity and very simply, bad things happen to a person.

I use "Owner or trainer" frequently in these posts and I am getting to think that the idea of a "training collar" is pretty well lost to many people.  So, I will attempt to explain the concept.
      Under normal rules of being collared, the relationship is intended to be indefinite.  Absolute loyalty is expected from the slave both on the physical and mental level.  There is very little room for "window shopping".
     A "training collar" from the perspective of the slave is identical to a normal collar in the short-run.  Obedience, complaince, respect, etc., are all demanded, expected and enforced.  In the long-run, it is a totally different thing.  The whole idea of the "training collar" is to give the slave the freedom to be a slave while having somebody there to put "on the brakes" or pump in "more gas" for speed.
      Somebody may have "window shopped" the slave and the slave finds the possibility attractive; the slave informs his trainer of this fact.  The trainer then obtains from the slave all the information he or she wants to make a decision.  The trainer then authorizes the slave to accept a date with defined instructions as to what shall happen, may happen, and won't happen.
      The whole time the slave is on the date or whatever the thing is called.....the slave knows that it is with permission and that the slave is still in a collar to his trainer.  The slave knows that he will have to report or be questioned about this time, etc.
      The typical new slave has no idea of the right timing for a relationship or ownership.  Ideally, the trainer is older and has a whole lot more experience than the slave.  The training collar is removed when the trainer determines the slave is ready either with or without being asked.
      So, you might have a slave in a "training collar" who is very much involved with a third person.  This is actually to be encouraged so long as all parties know that there is this eye on the matter who has the right to yank the slave out if things start to seem odd, dysfunctional, or dangerous.  Again, in the ideal situation, the third party may be upset with the trainer but the slave is largely insulated from the problem.  It is an excellent way to enter slavery.

In a d/s or m/s relationship, there is no doubt that one person is in control and the other is not.  This is the very definition of the relationship.  The full control and the loss of control is liberating for both parties for different but very similar reasons.  Regardless, there is one special topic that needs discussed; the situation that goes wrong for the sub or slave.

In this entry, I am not talking about the newbie who is amazed to find that having a paddle hit an ass produces discomfort or who survived two sessions only to find out that sometimes being a sub or slave is simply a matter of waiting and being bored.  I am talking about experienced, compliant subs and slaves who find that something done to them, required of them, etc., caused special mental difficulty.  The net result being that they "code word", admit defeat, flip out, etc., or otherwise essentially fail in the expectation to "suck it up" and "deal with it".

The tendency is to be flippant about it.  The tendency is to say something like "it must suck to be a sub or slave" or "if your body couldn't take being treated like a slave your mouth should not have said it".  While these phrases sound nice, they are totally wrong, miss the point, and attempt to deny that these relationships are bilateral.

When something like this does happen, the failure is totally the responsiblity of the dom.  It is the dom who is in control and it is the dom who caused the things to happen.  It is the dom who failed to properly understand the effect that a given situation would have on the sub or slave.

For those who believe it is "all about the dom", this will seem wrong.  For those who believe that they are better than subs and slaves, this will seem stupid.  The reality is that the person who placed the sub or slave in this position owes an apology to the sub or slave for being incompetent.

The sub or slave places great faith, confidence and skill in the dominant party.  A part of the submissive experience is the ability to relax and accept without the responsibility of decisions other than how to better please the dominant.  When something happens that causes this to rupture, it is totally the responsibility of the person in control.

Further, I have had a couple of such incidents over the years.  In each and every case, I took a great deal of time to attempt to identify my mistake.  In each and every case, I could clearly identify something that I had failed to note or failed to do that would have prevented the problem.

I can remember one situation from a decade ago or so where I had a slave who was engaging in a course of behavior that was obviously calculated to get himself beaten.  I could not figure out why he wanted it, but there was no other explanation.  I was fighting a cold and was very busy, but I knew that things were to a point that he had to have "special attention".

I went to a dinner that was in the lifestyle and where there were other slaves.  As was the custom, he stripped when we arrived.  I told another slave to "tan his ass" properly.  I then went and chatted with some other people.  He took everything well enough, but I knew from the look on his face that there was something very wrong.

When we were alone later, there were a number of insults thrown from this slave toward me which was totally out-of-character.  I knew that somehow I had pushed him into a place where he was mentally having stress that should not have existed.

The simple reality was that my other pressures and my being a little ill had deprived him of some attention that he needed.  I always would invited private and free conversation by asking if he has any "questions, comments, or petitions" toward the end of the day.  While he had very badly needed to chat with me about things in his life, I had been failing to do this.  This was the explanation but it was not an excuse.  The fact is that the responsibility for all was mine and mine alone.  If I could not devote full attention to the slave, I should have simply explained to him the situation.

Fortunately, these situations have been few and far between.  The fact is that I hear other doms failing to understand that with the power comes the responsibility.

I know of one dom whose behavior resulted in a dislocated shoulder.  His "solution" was to call an ambulance for this uninsured sub and to run off into the dark.  He left her with both physical, emotional and financial responsibility for curing his error.  I am sure he didnot intend this result; it doesn't matter----he did it.

In my opinion, a dom who is not ready  to accept not only the power and authority but all the responsiblity for the results is not a proper dominant party.

I could provide other examples and I could go on about how I "restored" the slave after having missed something so obvious but I think I have made my point.

When a sub or slave is serving, the dom/me becomes the center of the universe for the sub/slave.  This can be a wonderful opportunity to expand the knowledge of this other person. 

I insist that a sub/slave remain naked most of the time, at least in the initial months.  First of all, it places a clear distinction between the those being served and those serving.  Second and more important, it exposes reactions like changes in breathing and more "private responses" that might otherwise be missed.

A good sub/slave understands that there is a need for transparency and honesty in reactions and feelings.  In our modern culture, however, this requires a radical departure from the normal rules of behavior.  If I ask a sub/slave if something bothers or excites and the answer is "no", then it helps to be able to point out that the breathing changes told me otherwise.