On a question of respect
By Master-Dennis
Respect is a strong point of being real to yourself and to the world around you as they used to say to get respect it must be earned to understand respect you must give respect.
When in the Navy I showed respect to those I didn't by following the protocol of the service which states even if you do not respect the person respect the uniform and rank of the individual and we even had a protocol on how to deal with it. If you prefaced your words with the following:
"Sir, with all due respect to your rank and the uniform that you wear, I personally think that you’re an idiot!"
Worked for me and it was very stress reliving... at least for me.
I try to give respect but it is not easy if our worlds are so out of sync and that I wish to tell them how out of touch they may be... But then I remember that I have not always been or am always in touch authentically, so now I try to remember the following guidelines:
Here is something I have tried to follow when I feel a disrespectful thought:
Someone who is about to admonish another must realize within himself five qualities before doing so [that he may be able to say], thus:
"In due season will I speak, not out of season. In truth I will speak, not in falsehood. Gently will I speak, not harshly. To his profit will I speak, not to his loss. With kindly intent will I speak, not in anger."
- Thich Nhat Hanh
Also the five Toltec agreements:
- 1. Be impeccable with your word
- 2. Don't take anything personally
- 3. Don't make any assumptions
- 4. Always do your best
- 5. Be skeptical but learn to listen
-Don Miguel and Don Jose Ruiz
Keeping these in mind and understanding that we all have different viewpoints of the world around us. All deserve respect even if I do not agree with what their view point is, I do not have to follow it, but I need to respect that that is their thoughts.
Respect is a protocol that keeps civility and forces one to review themselves.
It saves us from the cynical jadedness of arrogance and ignorance. I learned to respect my enemies to better understand how to avoid or deal with conflict in the field. So to me Respect is what sentient beings give and in turn receive. One of the hardest things is to give respect to one who shows none, yet to show the modicum of respect due any human being may in turn awaken them and serve as a model for them to perhaps change. Just remember that they have to live in their skin, as you must live in yours. Do not fall into step with the rude, the gossipers, the negative and the shit stirrers. Model respect and you earn it back three fold. Stand tall with a clean spirit. Remember, Respect is lost as soon as it is demanded, but is increased when humbly accepted. (And damn it yes Masters and Doms can be humble, we do not need to pretend we have no feelings or grace, stoic only goes so far.)
"Courtesy" is a form of respect and a modicum of civility. it should be afforded to all. But once Disrespect is given to you... all bets are off and the barest courtesy is all one will receive or no contact will be awarded.
Now excuse me as I step off my soap box and bid you all adieu.
Respect has been in my opinion torn asunder and made to be an entitlement without understanding or reciprocation. It is as in the early days of the internet because I can push down the shift key I am king/queen/goddess/Master and it is far more important in what this life is that we really live, and to the human condition that is ours.
Be well and be mindfully aware, for it is your congruity that proceeds and follows you. Your image is but the vessel that decorates your beliefs and the actions that speak of your core beliefs.
Remember that perfection is an ideal and not a reality for most but the striving for it with that understanding is divine. (Not easy, believe me)
Sorry soapbox again. With much love for all and even more for those who cannot see it or have not the experience to feel it.
Namaste.