Tried to have a conversation about trivium and quadrivium to no avail. Oh well, back to quantum mechanics and the many worlds theory. Might add some psychoanalytic theory into the mix for some interesting conversation.

Last day of residency until August!  16 hour days are fun, but I'm ready for a break.

I have written enough poetry to last a thousand lifetimes.  I only hope that my musings become a reality.  I am as willing as ever, perhaps even more so over this last week.  Of course, I lack my partner in crime.  While I am enamored with the idea of having a "pet," I dare say that I have also been entertaining the idea of seeing how I feel around an "equal," but that's a topic for a different day.  I shall see what the future holds and wait for the right one.  

Whenever I hear a joke that starts off with "it seems as though," I automatically think that it's my existentialist humor ruining the joke.  Nietzsche would be proud.  Of course, I have my own Beethoven joke that continues to make me chuckle to this very day, but that's another story entirely.  

For the love of all that is holy and good, don't ever pour your heart out to anyone on here. It will backfire on you.  Just go in with the assumption that 99% of those you "encounter" on here really don't give a fuck about you, and your experience will be that much easier.  I apologize for the rant; just quite a bit frustrated because I thought that I had made true friends on here, only to be abandoned and forsaken yet again.  It is what it is, I suppose.  

Reading back on some of my old poems/short stories, I have discovered that I am far better at writing when I'm depressed than when I'm just ok.  I should be freakin' Edgar Allan Poe by now.  The emotions that I once felt sent a shiver down my spine just now.  

Apparently, I have a tendency to be philosophical quite often and that appears to bore most of the people on this site.  In a way, that is a good thing, because I won't have to work so hard once I'm giving anesthesia to my patients; they will have already been bored to sleep.:)

So many assholes posing as submissives on here, yet they wonder why I haven't picked a pet yet.  I am a very disciplined person, and expect the same of anyone I would have a relationship with.  If a person didn't command that of you, would you really believe that they're as dominant as they say they are?  How can I respect you when you go out of your way to insult me, even though I did nothing to provoke you?  I can take a wild guess as to who they voted for....

In all of my life, I have never lived by the "rule" that just because I have a dominant nature, I have to be a royal bitch.  Yes, some people are into that kind of thing and I can really act like one if I am provoked, but I am from the South and I fancy myself a lady.  With that being said, I have typically found that I get my way more when I am my sweet and hospitable self.  I only morph into bitch mode when I am very angry, and no one wants to be around for that, trust me.  That's not to say that I can't assert my dominance just because I am often ladylike; moreover, I think it's far more of a turn-on (at least, it is for me) to seduce someone and have them submit to you of their own volition because they can't resist your kindness than to have them submit to you because they are frightened.  There is much more psychology behind that, but that's for another day.  Just in case you are wondering, yes, I do have the Southern drawl.  :)

As a medical professional, I know it's physiologically impossible to die from boredom, but I think I'm close to death by ennui.

Oh Humbert Humbert, you poor soul.  

For some reason, I've found myself equating dominance to old vampire lore: you never take the last drop.  Everything up to that point is enough to leave one sated, lest it consume us to death.  Of course, there's a fetish for that all on its own.:)

I'm done.  The headaches just aren't worth it anymore.  I'm going to keep my account so that I can still talk to friends here, but that's it. 

If you feel the need to talk down to me because you feel as though I'm an idiot just because I know who Schrodinger and Nietzsche are, please just keep your thoughts and opinions to yourself.  I know exactly who they are and what they are famous for; you don't have to reiterate it to me.  If you are so familiar with Schrodinger, please just be a good little cat and go sit in your box.  I know you're not the Ubermensch who is here to save us, as that is evidenced by your idiotic ramblings and unintelligent existence. Word to the wise...don't piss off a German woman; it's really not a good idea. 

Psychologically speaking, people who seek others out just to talk shit to them for no reason have their own insecurities.  Even though I'm dominant, I don't stoop to that pathetic level.  These people should get a life and learn how to speak to people with common courtesy and respect; otherwise, they shouldn't get mad when people respond in kind. 

This lifestyle is becoming more and more of a pain than a joy.  What once was so invigorating is now so lifeless.  If I'm not being compared to someone who is a supermodel, I get the run around from people who have no desire to do anything other than hide behind the computer.  I don't think that most men are cognizant of the fact that women do not want to hear all about another woman.  It's an insult to us and we don't want to compete with their little fantasy.  Yet men insist on doing this anyway. I have no doubts that women do it as well, but it's not something a woman wants to hear from someone she is interested in.  It sours the entire mood.  Then again, what do I know?  I am, after all, "just a kid."

Tax Day rally tomorrow  Since I've had no luck on here as of late, at least my political world is booming.  Hopefully the rally and being able to see "Atlas Shrugged" will help to ease the despondency that seems to be plaguing me. 

Capitalists are always Right, Marxists are always Left.  Remember that.

There is something so utterly beautiful about the pale, quiet guys that makes me remember just how dark I am and how much I miss their sweet surrender.  It's been my experience that the quiet ones are extremely intelligent, and intelligence is certainly top on my list of admirable qualities.  Come out, come out, wherever you are.

Seems as though I've been forsaken by the last person I would have expected.  What a shock...

Hope to spend some much needed time at my shooting range back home with my beloved rifle.  Ah, sweet ballistic, I have missed you so!



I went to the hospital today. After a long series of tests and diagnostic procedures, the doctor finally delivered my fate. He said that I am highly allergic to bullshit and that the only cure is to vaccinate me with a large dose of truth and reason. Otherwise, the prognosis is bleak.

I wrote this on one of my pages earlier, but no one seemed to get a good laugh.  Is my humor really that odd?

If I don't respond to your messages right away, please do not take it personally.  I have been very busy for the last couple of days and have had a lot on my plate.  I've noticed several people freaking out because I haven't replied, and I'm not trying to ignore anyone.  If you're in that much a hurry to find someone at this very instant, I suggest you move on if you can't wait a day or so.

Don't you just hate it when you are listening to a wonderful musical composition, become completely enamored with it, and then it ends and you have to come back to reality?  I think that if I could listen to Wagner, Beethoven, and Mozart all day I'd be a much happier person.  Damn this mundane existence!

Perhaps I was wrong to search for a pet, while I should have been searching for a like-minded accomplice.  One conundrum after another, it seems.  I do enjoy the submissive mentality of a few select people who aren't pompous jackasses, but more and more have I been intrigued by a fellow dominant counterpart.  I can't label myself as a switch, as I have no desire of submitting, but the thought of the mutual desire of power between myself and another does have a certain appeal. 

Ah, how "Ride of the Valkyries" puts me in such a good mood!

Woke up unusually late from what appears to have been a rather delirious sleep.  A bit despondent in the fact that this sleep is far more interesting than my waking hours, but such is life.  "To sleep, perchance to dream," as it were.   

No, I'm not a switch.  Please don't insult me by insisting that I am.  You do not know me, and you know nothing of my desires.  Don't attempt to flatter yourself by trying to be omniscient.  You do not have to be a complete bitch to be dominant, and if you do, then you're already trying way too hard.  Just because a person has manners doesn't mean they are not dominant; moreover, it means that they were actually brought up correctly.  If you don't agree, that's fine, but don't try to change my mind just to suit your agenda.

It's come to my attention that some submissives on here have only been attracted to me because they think I'm fat.  I never in my life thought that I was, but apparently that seems to be the consensus here.  When you get talked down to even worse than a slave does, there's a problem.  At least I had the courtesy to treat my pets with some sort of respect, but it does not seem to be reciprocated.  No, I am not a toothpick, but I am hardly a whale.  This will be a shorter journal, mostly because I am seething with anger and can't even formulate it into words right now.  Those of you who actually know me are able to understand that this is truly serious, since I usually have no problem speaking my mind.  At least the vanilla world has manners, not a bunch of so-called submissives who have to talk down to a person simply because they don't get their way.

These generic emails really need to stop.  How do people expect you to take them seriously when they send out the same flirtatious email to practically every woman on this site?

For all of you who actually have the decency to approach someone in a more dignified way, thank you.

"Humanity," if I can even call it that, really disgusts me.  Only a spineless coward would hurt a defenseless animal.  I'm not a PETA freak by any means, but it really does speak to one's sociopathy when they beat the hell out of/mutilate an animal that has done nothing to them.  Yes, I hunt for my food, but I eat what I kill and I don't do it to get a thrill. I also do it as quickly as possible so the animal will not have to suffer. Anyone who beats an animal and then laughs about it is a fucking coward.  If you want to beat on something, just go run your head into a building and save the rest of us the trouble of running you into it ourselves.

I know this won't sit well with a good percentage of people on here, as quite a number of people here are far sicker than anyone should legally be.  I'm certainly no prude, but I think that taking your frustrations out on something so innocent is beyond fucked up.  At least in the bdsm world we have willing counterparts.  I am no stranger to violence, but I have never hurt someone who didn't deserve it/wanted it.  People can come after each other with a gun or a knife...a 3 week old puppy really isn't much of a threat (and if he does threaten you, you are already beyond any kind of psychiatric help).

Going down the familiar path of introspection yet again.  Should prove to be a rather interesting night.  Seems as though I've rediscovered my muse. 

That pleasure which is at once the most pure, the most elevating and the most intense, is derived, I maintain, from the contemplation of the beautiful.

Edgar Allan Poe

Forget a hot, naked body.  I'd rather have someone with intelligence any day.  Looks can come and go, but one's intellect lasts forever (or at least until senility sets in). 

"But as, in ethics, evil is a consequence of good, so, in fact, out of joy is sorrow born. Either the memory of past bliss is the anguish of to-day, or the agonies which are have their origin in the ecstasies which might have been"

Quoted by the first man I ever fell in love with, my dear sweet Poe

Making a cake at 1:30 in the morning...I really am crazy!

My idea of a project car is coming back into view.  I might be "just a girl" to some, but I can work on cars and shoot a rifle just like any man.  Being short only makes it easier to army-man crawl through the fields on my stomach and hide in inconspicuous places.  ;)

Wow, I just realized that my political views are definitely in the minority here...seems as though I've lost most of my "friends" on here as a result of my affiliation.  I can count on one hand the number of libertarian friends I have here....seems as though the pompous liberals here think they're too good for the rest of us (a thought that in itself makes me want to puke).  If that's the way you feel, go enjoy your little president, because he's surely not mine.  I make no apologies for what I believe in.  I can't help it if others are too high and mighty to talk to someone just because of a difference in political views.  If I did the same thing to them, they'd have a hissy fit. 

Mike, if you're reading this, I'm sure you're having a very good laugh right about now.  It's good to have at least one ally here. 

Perhaps I really should find another dominant person to play with, since I'm not having much luck with submissives.  Not to say that I would end up submitting, but at least I would have some passion.  Aside from that, I have noticed that I seem to get along more with people of the same mindset.  This is quite the conundrum. 

Had a "120 Days of Sodom" type dream last night.  Freud would have had a field day with me. 

Genteel women suppose that those things do not really exist about which it is impossible to talk in polite company.

It's just one of those Nietzsche-quoting days.  It feels good to be back to my old self.

It seems as though a lot of people on here ask for my Yahoo messenger ID, but then stop talking to me after I give it to them.  It's going to be a fun night deleting people who never speak to me.  I left this site for almost 3 years....now I remember why.  If you really do want to talk to me, please have the courtesy to say something worthwhile, as opposed to asking if I will watch you on cam.  Trust me, there is nothing that you can do on cam that will turn me on.  I used to work in the adult industry and I have seen it all.  Seeing a guy's junk flop back and forth does not turn me on in the slightest.  If you get mad just because I ignore the same generic message that you have sent to a thousand other people, maybe you should sit back and think about why someone wouldn't respond to someone who didn't have the decency to send them a genuine message. 

On another note, I've realized that people ask for my opinion and then are upset when I give it to them.  If you don't want my honest answer, just don't ask.  It really is that simple.  I'm not here to sugarcoat my feelings for anyone. 

In hindsight, all of the above really should go without saying.  However, based on many of the messages that have popped up in my inbox as of late, it actually does need to be said. 

Not sure how I managed it, but I sprained my ankle AND tore a huge gash right over the bone.  What's so sad about this is that I really have no clue how I did it. 

"My queen, my wife, my love"

The sweetest words ever spoken by a man.  Yes, I'm back on my Leonidas kick again.  To be sure there has to be one like him out there. 

My profile says dominant, not submissive or slave.  Please don't assume that you have what it takes to make me submit to you; I assure you that you don't. 

Yet another night at home.  At least I have my textbooks with very small letters and graphic images of surgery to browse through.  I may not have a pet to play with, but after spending so much time at home with my books I'm going to be one hell of a doctor!

It's time to break one of the corsets out:)  Should be a perfect match for my latex skirt and thigh-high boots.  Looks like my gothic side has returned.  Preppy didn't seem to suit me anyway.

After experiencing so much mental frustration on this site, medical school shall prove to be a breeze!

I never thought that intelligence would be a hindrance, but it seems as though the stereotypical "you must be blonde and anorexic before I will talk to you" mindset runs rampant. 

Of course, once I get those beautiful two letters behind my name, they will flock like sheep.  In the interim, I can only focus on what I have the power to change. 

Watching "300" and being reminded of my affinity for Leonidas.  He was loyal to the end in regards to his queen.  Between him and Eric Draven, there is certainly no question of neverending loyalty.  We should all be so lucky.  Where's a good Spartan when you need him?

For all of you little "submissives" out there who feel the need to constantly tell me how ugly and disgusting you think I am, please take a look in the mirror.  As the mirror instantly begins to break, please allow the shards of glass to mutilate your face some more.  Then maybe you will be as unattractive as you say I am.  If you really think I'm that horrible to look at, why are you even looking?  You might as well go somewhere else if you're just attempting to elevate your self-esteem while putting someone else down.  I did major in psychology my first time in college, so I do know many of the tricks of a demented mind. 

I can be the sweetest person in the world, but when you insult me out of the blue for no particular reason (or because I haven't had time to respond), expect a comeback.

I always say that something worth having is worth waiting for.  If that truly is the case, I have one hell of a pet in my future.

Is it really so wrong to crave a night of wild, unadulterated passion without having to worry about breaking a submissive in half?  To be sure there are some out there who are able to hold their own instead of just lying there.  Is it really such an oxymoron to crave someone who does as they are told, while also bringing you to the point of no return?  Seems as though my quest for any orgasm whatsoever remains a solo project.:(

Come out, come out, wherever you are. 

What's the point of flattering words if they are not backed with sincerity?  It doesn't bother me so much that guys on here are just trying to get a quick thrill....what does bother me is the fact that they try to hide their true intentions.  That may work with others, but it is far from an effective tactic as far as I'm concerned.  What makes it even worse is when I finally start to enjoy talking with someone, only to discover that is all it really is...a bunch of talk.  I know patience is a virtue, but damn.  When older guys act like nothing more than a little boy, it really is time to move on and save yourself the heartache of continuing a search for someone who doesn't exist.  That being said, I hope my feelings are crystal clear (but, of course, they won't be).  It seems that everything I say falls on deaf ears anyway.  Far too much time to waste to beat someone into submission who has ulterior motives. 

I never in my life imagined that being a nympho was a bad thing, but apparently it is very frustrating when those carnal desires go unrequited.  Pity, no one's up for the challenge. :(  It seems as though that's yet another feat I have to handle myself.

It's come to my attention that, for most people on this site, I am nothing more than something to get off on.  I'm not sure when submissives decided that they should be the ones getting pleased while I just stand there, but apparently I missed that memo.  All this "lifestyle" is for them is an excuse to talk to a girl dressed in all black, hoping that the girl will reciprocate and allow them to get themselves off.  If that's all this is about, then I was right to leave in the first place.  There have been a few people who have shown genuine interest, but mostly it's just some random guys sending the same message over and over, with the statement that I must not be "dominant enough" since I don't want to adhere to their whims.  Last time I checked, this lifestyle doesn't revolve around letting a submissive get their way.  If so, what the hell is the point?  It seems as though a lot of people here think that I am too nice.  However, I believe that being dominant does not excuse poor manners.  Those who think you have to always be rude simply have no sense of decency.  I'll probably get cussed out for this (what's new), but I really do not care anymore.  If you have the audacity to come on to me like I'm a piece of meat, don't expect a pleasant reply.

I wonder how many guys on here send women the same message....almost doesn't seem worth it to even bother.

In case I don't respond as quickly as I usually do, it's nothing personal.  I do stay logged in all day, but sometimes I'm not at my laptop.  I'm very heavily involved with some political dealings at the moment, but I do manage to have some free time to sneak away.  No, I'm not running for office or anything of that nature; moreover, I'm just involved in a few political groups of which I'm the organizer.  Rest assured, I will get back to you as soon as I can.

Mmmm,  in the midst of scouring the net for good 'ol MRE's.  I may look girly-girly at times, but I'm definitely a tomboy when I need to be.  I'd take guns and ammo over makeup any day.

Is it really so bad for a domme to have a contract?  Or is it just the fakes who don't think it's necessary?