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NtrlLeader
| Hetero Male, 37, Bryn Mawr, Pennsylvania
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I currently have one sub, and one pet. Please be aware of those who have offered me this responsibility and be respectful of those relationships.
((Okay, because I have had 4 people ask me this Im adding a note here. Yes I am still willing to take on additional subs for training, guidance, or help. If someone wishes to ask for it then...well...ask. Well see what I can do.))
What Im looking for on collarspaceI am looking for friends, people interested in learning about the lifestyle, people who are lost and confused and feel they need guidance, people who are strong and steady but would like to have someone to lean on. Really, Im looking for anyone who is willing to trust others, be RESPECTFUL, and who is honest. No friendship can thrive without these qualities, certainly not one in which power exchange may become a factor later on.Somewhere out there someone is going, what about a sub, arent you looking for a sub? No, at least not now. If you know someone that would like to offer their submission to me tell them to do so, I will take the offer seriously and I may accept if I feel I can fulfill the responsibility but for the moment Im not looking to find a sub. A sub finds the Dom, thats the one major decision that they make...a choice to submit to that person from then on the Dom directs their actions.What do I believe Ds isI believe Ds is the admittance of the power exchange that takes place in everyday life. Every person is Dominant or submissive in some way in every relationship they have a supervisor and a coworker, a group of friends following someones decision, and so on. I see Ds as simply a place where people admit that they desire this authority. This allows the authority to be approached seriously and to the benefit of everyone involved. In some cases the power exchange goes much further allowing someone far more control then would otherwise be given. That is up to those in the relationship.Is Ds a single person relationship, always one on one? Well you tell me, when you were in a classroom did the teacher only teach one of you? No of course not, but you all listened, did your assignments, and hopefully respected the teacher therefore you were all submissive. Ds can be related to dating but it certainly isnt always. In my case its more like an older brother...its different for everyone.Why would someone choose to give up or take power? Well there are billions of reasons, as many reasons as there are people on earth and I certainly cant speak for them all. I choose to accept power that is offered to me because I feel that I can improve that persons life by guiding them. If I can help someone develop healthy habits, get their finances in order, improve their social life, get them on track with their career, give them new pursuits then I do. Ds is simply the ultimate lifestyle for teaching and helping people, that is why I participate.Why do you?Other things about meIn order to trust someone you need to know something about them, and so I will list a bit about myself here. I am a college graduate, with two majors one in history and another in education. I spent several years teaching in environmental education and loved it, unfortunately I was unable to make it a permanent career. I am currently working with the federal government in a position that I cant talk about on here in any larger capacity then to say it exists. I am also living at home while recovering from trusting people to quickly, having learned a hard and painful lesson about ensuring I can do something alone before sharing that something with others I trust.During high school I worked several jobs including a volunteer military officer in search and rescue, and several retail jobs. For fun I create and run fantasy games, hike when possible, and hang out with good friends. I have friends in many states who I counsel on topics ranging from relationships and family trauma to career. I have had 5 subs in My life (some argue a great deal more then 5 depending on how you define the title sub).I will also make mention of my future plans here. Given that my career requires most or all of my attention 5-6 days a week my subs will need to be self-sufficient during these times. I plan to set up a rather unique living arrangement several people (yes both men and women) living in a house (similar to a luxury apartment complex), each sharing their resources. Initially this would be under my guidance and total authority eventually that power would be leveled so we are all peers (at least in matters pertaining to the household). I will use what we have combined to provide everyone with more then any one person could get by themselves. Although any here that might be interested in this are welcome to inquire I am not trying to use this site to recruit people and would be more then happy to hear from others that would have no interest in this arrangment, as well as people from around the countryworld.Requests to the readerPlease contact me to tell me your thoughts about what I have written. As I have extended the common courtesy to tell you about me I ask that you do the same when E-Mailing me. WarningsAgain I welcome messages from any and all, but please no requests for one-night stands or erotic encounters I am looking for subs and doms not prostitutes, you are all better then that. As subs you give the gift of trust, and of yourself, and as doms you give the gift of guidance and caring. The gift of one self, and of trust is greater then any other, and you dont need sex to prove it while the gift of guidance as well as caring is one of the greatest and you dont have to recieve sex to prove it,Good Luck all whatever you choose, I hope to hear from you.
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6/2/2009 9:49:58 PM: I am just posting a quick note to say hello to everyone. Yes I am back and I have computer access again, so I will be checking the site regularly. Good luck everyone I look forward to hearing from my old friends and to making new ones.
12/29/2007 5:35:07 PM: Okay I'm going to post this because I'm getting tired of repeating it.Am I poly? That depends on your definition of poly, please read below.Reasons why I am not: To be poly you have to have sex with more then one submissive. I don't have sex with any submissive; I'm a teacher, guide, protector, friend...not a boyfriend. I help them find a boyfriend and approve that boyfriend, but I am not that boyfriend. Therefore it is by definition impossible for me to be poly.Reasons why I am: I have more then one submissive at a time. Since I have more then one submissive I must be poly.Make your own judgement it depends on how you define poly.If you have questions feel free to ask.
11/26/2007 9:01:40 AM: Not long ago someone asked me why I've chosen my present career; after all there are several distinct disadvantages to it. Most of the jobs are seasonal and there is an off-time which is difficult to get through, the pay is lower then nearly any other profession out there, and often contact with the rest of the world is limited for long periods of time.The answer was simple. I do what I do because it's something I enjoy, and because it's something that I feel is important to the future. If I can wake up a few children and help them to improve their lives or their communities then any hardships I endure are worth it. More importantly many of those disadvantages can be seen as benefits from another perspective. Isolated from the rest of the world is really less internet; so I have more time to go exploring the real world and enjoying life. An off season is annoying yes, but how many of you would kill for an unpaid vacation; even if you had to work part of it to make ends meet. Low pay, every profession has low pay at first; when I get to the point of taking one of the management or perminant positions this will improve...and I'll already be used to living on less then most people make in a month. Just imagine what I'll be able to do with a normal salary then.So why do I do what I do. Is it because I enjoy life and living in the real world instead of the artificial contrivance of corporate america, is it because I love kids and sharing the things I enjoy with them, or maybe it's because I love the ability to explore and see new places and meet awesome people. Really it's all of these; life is good.Why do you do what you do?
9/2/2007 9:41:16 AM: It seems that many women here get overwhelmed by the number of sexual questions people throw at them when they first join. I'm not surprised, many men and women have signed up here seeking just sex and they can be overwhelming in their rediculous behavior. My own advice on this issue is simple; anyone who asks about sex constantly or brings up the issue repeatedly you simply hit the block button. D/s at least is not about sex and doesn't even need to include it; but at the very least they need to get to know you as a person before trying for something more. Just as with any relationship being friends first is a must in this lifestyle, in fact it's probably more important here because there is power exchanged and you have to be a friend and get to know someone before you can give them that power over you.So what I'm saying is...subs don't let anyone force you into rushing or let sex become a main issue in the lifestyle; remember you are the one giving power don't give it until they earn it. Dom's get to know people, earn their trust, build relationships with everyone even if you wouldn't take them on as a sub. When the sub trusts you enough they will give themselves to you.
8/16/2007 7:25:56 PM: For some reason I'm thinking about escape today. Many submissive people (subs or not) get to a point in their lives where they feel afraid to go further. They are used to being on their own and afraid of being rejected if they take the next step. Often this means that they disappear or hide from the person they truly want to be closer to.If the person is local then it can actually draw them closer together; the Dom/friend/ etc... can seek them out at home or through mutual friends and they get closer because they sub knows they are cared for. In an online or distance relationship however that is more difficult; unless they have several mutual friends contact can be severed indefinately not because the Dom/friend doesn't want contact but because they have no way to re-establish it.My advice on this is for subs to watch themselves here. If they find themselves holding back for fear of rejection talk to your Dom, your friends, or your family about it. A friend (and any Dom should be a friend first) will never reject you out of hand, they will listen. They may be angry, surprised, even confused by your admission; but they will care enough to do what they can to help you with what you are feeling. Let them. Essentially what I'm saying is if you find yourself pulling back or hiding from someone because you are afraid they might reject you don't, instead give them the choice. If you hide then you are rejecting yourself for them. If you spend time with them and talk to them then they might not reject you after all. If they do reject then you are no worse off, you'll just have to look around till you find someone who is smart enough to know that you shouldn't be rejected.
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