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slavekansas1985
Pan Transgender, 33, Wichita, Kansas 
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slavekansas1985
Been gone for awhile busy with lots of life events. Currently living day to day life as a male. Love it the few times when I am free to cross dress and look as feminine as possible at home. Almost finished with getting all of my current affairs in order to make sure my wife and kids will have support from the family business in my absence. Feel it very important to have them taken care of at least in that way. It has taken longer than I had hoped. Will hopefully find an owner that I would be the perfect slave for and I can be living life under them in the not to distant future.
3/22/2018 3:10:33 PM: I have found in many aspects of life that communication is key. So I'm going to communicate a ton of information here, especially answers to common questions. This is first and foremost to save those seeking ownership time and secondly to save me time. I do presently lead a very busy vanilla life. I'm glad I'm busy because that means I'm not some lazy ass video gamer hanging out in my parents basement, but I'm so very sad it's so vanilla ;-). I do enjoy playing one war video game though, lol.   What is your history? I grew up on a small ranch here in Kansas. Typical small rural hick town atmosphere like you might see in some movies in case you are only familiar with the city. I had kinky feelings as far back as I can remember, even before I knew what 'kinky' was. Mostly I started out just enjoying the feeling of wrapping myself up in a blanket as tight and completely as I could, tying ropes around different parts of my body, and inserting things anally. All of these provided some type of erotic feeling even at the age of 5 or so. I sooo adored girls and their beauty. I was disgusted by my comparative ugliness. I will insert here that I was never abused, molested, sexually active etc. As I got older I got more creative with the items I used. I found all kinds of things to insert. Horseshoes, trailer ball hitch, handle of the plunger, my fingers, and old pop bottles. I loved the feeling of stretching my hole and filling it up. As soon as I discovered my parents enema kit I was giving myself enemas as often as I could. The fullness feeling was just so amazing. Then came the curious ventures into my parents bedroom. My mom happened to be pretty much the same build as me so all of her lingerie actually fit, except for of course sadly my absence of breasts. This is when I tried on my first corset. Oh my gosh! The feeling was so amazing being cinched up all tight and making it hard to breathe. Not to mention I loved the hourglass figure it gave me. Being all femmed up as much as I could made me feel so much better and pretty. As I hit my teen years in the late nineties and being very sheltered I thought I must be some type of freak weirdo. I felt ashamed and embarrassed at all the things I had done with my body and enjoyed. I had never even had a conscious orgasm up to this point (just a few what I know now to be wet dreams). Of course with all this I didn't really fit in at school either so I was a major loner there. It was kind of a dark, lonely, and sad time. At 14 we got a computer and the internet. It didn't take me long to discover there was actually a whole world out there with similar interests. I was super excited and relieved to know I wasn't the only one with these bdsm and feminine desires. I began to learn so much about all the kinks and stuff out there through a lot of informational sites and yes a lot of porn ;-). At 17 I met a girl that actually wanted to have something to do with me. She was so hot and I wished so much my body looked like hers. She knew about my kinky desires, but I couldn't bring myself to share the ones about me wanting to be female. A side of me still had this nagging feeling that I was just messed up, weird, and the way I was feeling was wrong. That if I got married and l lived a 'normal' life maybe everything would work itself out. So, I did. Then over the next 10 years I got a bachelors in Business doing a double major in Accounting and Finance and a minor in Management. We had 3 kids. We did all the work ourselves on a complete ground up renovation/remodel of a late 1800's house. For the most part there was no kink in our life. Certainly not in daily life. On rare occasions some light bondage, nipple play, and anal play in our sex life. Definitely no formal Dom/sub hierarchy. There just constantly seemed to be this void from that missing. The desire to be female and a slave in a bdsm relationship just never went away. I would try to get by on some porn here and there to feed the desire enough to stay sane. I found this site and a couple others to try and find an owner, but never really had the time between life and work. Then she caught me and was not ok with the porn at all. So I spilled my desires of being female and a slave in a bdsm relationship. It was finally out, at least to one other person on the planet. It felt kind of good, but at the same time didn't really change anything either. I was just going to have to suck it up and accept this was the life path I had chosen and stick with it for her and for the kids. That lasted about 2 years before I couldn't take it anymore and I was back to porn and coming up with a plan to finally end my vanilla life to become the female slave I had wanted to be for so long. The first step in that plan was to start a business. I started a business that has been successful and is continuing to grow. I did this to provide some excess income that working as an employee wasn't doing. Through this excess income I can gradually start putting away a few thousand to help get items and pay for some transformation things when I leave. I can even start collecting some stuff ahead of time. Also, this will be a continuing revenue stream for my wife and kids in my absence. I still feel a financial duty to take care of them as my obligation. Having this business operating on its' own will do that.   Where are you at with things right now? I'm in the process of placing people in all the operating positions of the business so that the business will not collapse in my absence. I'm in the process of saving/setting aside funds for when I leave. I'm on here trying to get the ball rolling with an owner so that as soon as I can everything will already be in place rather than me having everything ready and spending a year finding someone. (I think it might be as frustrating for us true real life slaves to be as it is for you owners with all the time wasting fakes) My circumstances right now are that my wife watches everything. She has monitors on my phone and my laptop. This home computer is the only access I have currently to the outside world that isn't monitored and it is in our bedroom. She is a stay at home mom. So as you can imagine my availability to be on here is very restricted. This is why I can't just up and download skype, or do a cam, text message, snap a photo on my phone and send it to you, or many of the other things that Owners often request. I am more than happy to verify myself on a phone call though. I take so many business phone calls it would be lost in the shuffle. This is also why I can't have my body hair removed right now, or believe me, it would be gone. And I would be doing many other things to feminize, but I just don't have that option right now.   What are you seeking? I'm trying to find an owner who will be understanding with my current restrictions. One that I can build a relationship with and be comfortable with. (there are just some really actually crazy people out there that like to kill people ;-)

3/19/2018 7:04:33 PM: Recently had one of those few times when I have the house all to myself. My new record with clover clamps on the nipples is 3 hours and I successfully took every bit of a 12 inch double ended dildo all the way in until my lips closed! I was able to hold it for 10 seconds. Wish I had more time to practice. Better yet, wish I was serving someones needs with my throat to bring them pleasure. I also have an 18 inch double ended dildo, but I haven't been able to get it past 12 inches. It's a little bigger around. I have gotten it all the way in anally though ;-). 

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prettynicolelly
 
 Age: 18
  New York