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IndigoDragonfly7

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Master2WhipU

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Nana-korobi Ya-oki Fall Seven Times Get Up Eight.



Im Heather. I go by indigo-dragonfly on Fet. Most of this text is similar to what is on my profile there, but Fet has a ton of my writings and more pictures.



If you dont know me, or it isnt a part of our relationship, do not call me these things (or similar) sub, slut, whore, girl, slave, little girl, little thing, thing,etc. And please dont try to take away my personal pronouns. I have not consented to that. If I dont know you, these types of things set my teeth on edge. I am a person. And if I am not YOUR person, please do not presume to do these things.



Im a submissive (to the right person) and a masochist. Which side comes out the most depends on who I am interacting with. I am involved in a couple local groups. I have a few play partners. I dont take on new play partners lightly. I have to know you or see you play with others or you have to be vetted by someone I trust. I like to play fairly hard with the people I currently play with. I am able to do so because of the trust we have built. Not just anyone would have my consent to do the things they do.



I am cautiously seeking the one I belong with. I have my play partners and I adore them, but I hope one day to find a full relationship. Im not desperately seeking. I dont want to rush anything. Im picky as hell about who I give my heart and trust to. And stubborn. If you lie to me or do anything else that undermines or destroys my trust in you, you will find yourself out in the cold. I may still be cordial, but there will be no closeness.



From a non-kinky standpoint, I like video games, reading, listening to music, being by the water at night, cooking, writing, and watching movies. Im more than a little geekynerdy.



As stated before, I am a masochist. I can be very submissive with the right person. I have a wee bit of a mischievous brat side and a nonsexual Little side. Impact play, knife play, needle play, claws, and biting are among my favorites. I adore leather (the feel and smell), chains, and being bound by rope. Breast and Nipple torture are high up on my list as well. I do not have sex with people casually. I have zero interest in casual hookups. Or being a FWB. That side of me is only shared within a relationship.



When it comes to sex, I have to have a connection with someone. In a relationship I can be an insatiable minx or so Ive been told. From a purely sexual standpoint, my two favorite things would be giving oral and receiving anal.



Although I am much smaller than I was several years ago, I am still a big girl. If you are someone that likes to degrade people for this, move along or at least dont do it with me. If big girls arent your thing, thats fine. But dont put me down because of it.



Im very affectionate and love giving (and getting) hugs and cuddles to (and from) friends. I do not smoke and being around it bothers my lungs. Vapes dont bother me. Even though Im submissive, I do not treat every Dominant who approaches me as if they are my Dominant or better than me. I will be respectful, but my submission is not given to just anyone and everyone.

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4/21/2018 6:54:51 PM
Cross posted from FetLife. Seduce Me Journal Entry?|?about 2 hours ago Seduce my mind With talk of deep things Life and love And what feeds your soul Get to know me Beyond the submissive Beyond the masochist Beyond the sex Get know ME And show me who YOU are Don't come at me so brashly Declaring your dominance Loud and proud And full of expectations Don't come at me Full of cock talk And how many ways You will fuck me Tell me stories of your youth The things that made you be The person you are today Don't proclaim your dominance Let your natural energy Speak for itself It's the quiet power That draws me in Seduce my mind Seduce my soul Seduce my heart Make me crave your presence Make me feel safe with you Give me a place I can just be Make my brain go silent When it's spirally and overthinking Be the one I'd love Romance me I want love That needs to be The foundation for it all Then I can kneel Then I can serve Then I can obey Then I can devote myself Then I can belong to you 4/21/18 hla/indigo-dragonfly

4/13/2018 12:55:35 AM
This is turning into what I call a "brain dump". Basically, a Hodge podge of random stuff going through my head. I'm just going to state this here. Sometimes I check CS while I'm at work. Sometimes I get as far as opening a message or profile and then have to put my phone down before I even get a chance to look. When this happens, sometimes it may be hours before I get a chance to respond. Work comes first. I have to be able to pay my bills and keep a roof over my head. It's frustrating when someone sends a snippy message because they don't like that I haven't responded. I work anywhere from 5-7 days a week. It depends on if we are short staffed. When I'm at work, there will be delays in my responses. It doesn't mean I don't want to talk to you, just that I'm having to squeeze it in and sometimes that takes a while. However if you assume the worst about me and get snarky about it, that will make me much less likely to want to talk. I also was chatting with someone and in the conversation, it came up about people who disagree with things you've written. I don't understand why there are so many who become hateful when they read something they don't agree with. They will devolve into personal attacks. There's something to be said for intelligent discussion and debate. You don't have to agree with everything someone says and just because their beliefs are different than yours, doesn't make them a bad person. We are all adults here. I hate that so many of my journals are becoming posts made out of frustration. I still try not to come across as angry, bitter, or small minded. Nor do I want to try to paint everyone with the same brush. Because it is a huge turn-off to me when I go to someone's profile and it's full of bitter rants about how every woman is a cheating cunt or plays games or is a user or is a fake or whatever. Also I get not wanting to invest months and months of your life before meeting to see if there is chemistry in person. That said, please be patient, particularly with those of us who have been through traumatic experiences. Me personally, I don't necessarily have a set time frame for meeting. BUT I do need a fair amount of conversation (about the vanilla ects of life as well!!) and time to get to know someone and feel comfortable with someone. And that's just to reach the point of trading phone numbers. A first meet is not going to happen at my house or the other person's. In most cases I'm not even going to let them come to my house to pick me up. Most of the time it's going to be at a public event or place. I will also have multiple safety things in place. Safe calls, touching base upon arriving, during, and upon getting safely home, and so on. I need a potential partner to respect my need to feel safe. And if they can't, it really makes me question how much my safety and feeling safe will matter to them during a scene or in day to day life. I miss having someone I feel submissive towards. I miss having tasks and rituals that make me feel closer to them. I miss having someone to serve I miss having someone who basically becomes the center of my world in that their likes, needs, and desires take priority as long as it wouldn't harm me. I miss the pride in being claimed by someone. The feeling of being owned. But I'm still going to be picky about finding the right one. It will be well worth it.

4/10/2018 8:19:20 PM
There. The color scheme is fixed..... That was highly freaking annoying.

4/6/2018 5:55:59 AM
FYI... Yes, my profile color scheme is messed up right now. No, I did not choose to have black text on a dark purple background. I made a profile edit while on my phone and after doing so, my text color got changed from a very light blue to black. Even when I stripped all the CSS formatting code that was visible while accessing the site from my phone, it still kept the black on purple. Until I can get logged on via a computer to fix it, my profile is readable if you highlight or select the text. I've had to do so on other people's profiles, I assume due to the same issues.

4/5/2018 11:53:20 PM
I've noticed that in online interactions, there are an unusual number of people that identify as Dominants or Masters who try to demand that any and all submissives call them Sir as a manner of address. Now if I call someone Sir with the capitalization or as a title (which to me the capitalization implies), it means one of these applies: 1) they are my Dominant and I've given them the title of Sir out of respect and as an indication of the power I've given them, 2) I am in a negotiated scene with them and for the duration of that scene I have given them a measure of power over me and the use of Sir is to show that, 3) over time they have earned my trust and respect to the degree that I refer to them as Sir. I grew up in the South. We use "sir" and "ma'am" as terms of respect. But they are not weighted in their meaning the way "Sir" and "Ma'am" are. There is a distinction there. I've been involved in the local community for 3 years now. Not once has someone demanded I refer to them as Sir from the first conversation. That is why I consider this unusual behavior when I encounter it online even when it happens a lot. Usually these same people feel entitled to address me in the third person or call me slut, whore, girl, sub, slave, pet, thing, it, cunt, etc without my consent. They think because they identify as a Dominant and I identify as submissive, it's their natural given right...even if we don't know each other at all. Again, this is something I have never encountered in my local community; only online. I guess the good thing about this behavior is that it acts as a filter. It shows me the ones I most likely would never feel submissive towards. It shows a lack of compatibility. I'm not saying there aren't submissives who are ok with these things or that even like these kinds of things. I'm pretty sure they exist. But their acceptance of these behaviors doesn't make them more of a submissive than me. Before I got on my soapbox, I talked to a couple Dominants in my life that I respect, to see if I was off base in my feelings and was just being a contrary redhead. The general consensus was it's not an automatic entitlement to be referred to as Sir outside of a negotiated dynamic. Nor it is an automatic entitlement to refer to a submissive in one of the previously mentioned ways without their consent. I clearly state on my profile not to address me as whore, slut, etc unless it is a part of our dynamic. That is one of my limits. If someone cannot respect that limit, why would I ever feel I could trust them to respect my other limits? It's a matter of respect. If someone has needle play on their profile as a hard limit, I am not going to bombard them with pictures from needle play scenes and try to force my kink on them. If it is not stated to be a limit and comes up in conversation, I may explain what I like about it. If they say they could never do something like that, fine. I'm not going to push. If I feel judged, I may say so. There are ways to say something is not your kink or interest without implying that someone that is into it is wrong for it. There are things I don't understand people being into, but as long as it's between consenting adults, that's up to them. Not pushing my kinks or desires onto someone else is being respectful. I dare say it is a matter of common decency. My rights do not supersede another's. Their rights do not supersede mine. Unless that power is freely given. I can only guess that the anonymity of being online is part of what is behind these behaviors. Apart from being a bit shier in person until I get comfortable around someone, I act the same in person and online. I'm just me. I'm either the type of person someone wants in their life or I'm not. We are either compatible or we aren't. If someone can't be respectful, I'll block them. Honestly, if the situation were reversed, I'd expect the same of them.

6/8/2017 6:26:28 AM
This is being cross posted on CS and Fet. This writing may not go over well with some, but it is my thoughts and feelings and I have as much right to them as anyone else. To those who identify as Dominant: I am your equal. In worth. And unless I give you power over me, I am your equal in power. It is only if I decide to give you power over me (and you decide to accept that power) that a power exchange takes place. Unless that happens, I am not your girl. I am not your sub. You have no business trying to treat me as such. Unless it has been discussed and negotiated... I have not agreed to let you make demands of me. I have not agreed for you to give me orders. If you do so, or try, I WILL pull away. The playing field between us is level until we make a joint decision to make it otherwise. If you make a request of me, and I do it, and we haven't negotiated a power exchange... Guess what? I did it simply because I felt like it. It was not done out of submission. When we first start talking, it isn't your dominance that you need to convince me of. Dominance doesn't have to declared. It just is. What I'm looking for is someone who talks to me as a person. Who takes interest in who I am and what has made me this way. Someone who is curious about me and what makes me tick. Because I can guarantee that I am curious about those things about you. It takes strength to be a submissive. When you have a past like mine, this is magnified. But my submission isn't for anyone and everyone. It is earned by how you treat and approach me. If you expect me to just blindly follow orders right off the bat, you are going to be sorely disappointed. If you think I will put your demands and requests above my own well-being, you will be sorely disappointed. If all of this pisses you off and makes you sputter "you are no true sub! You must obey me!", we likely wouldn't have been a good match anyway. That's the beauty of this lifestyle. There are so many different dynamics. As long as they are negotiated and consensual, none of them are wrong. But it doesn't mean everyone will mesh well. We all have different needs and expectations. I'm only submissive to someone who makes me WANT to submit to them. Who makes me WANT to serve and devote myself to them. I am your equal. Unless I choose to give you power and authority over me. And I can guarantee that decision won't be made lightly. Nor can I be bullied into it.

6/5/2017 10:19:14 PM
So a random whom I've never spoken to or even looked at his profile, sent me a message telling me "fuck off". Is this a thing now? Please tell me there are genuine respectful people on here. I just want someone genuine, who calls to my submissive side. Who can be caring and nurturing, but has a definite sadistic side. Someone I can share a vanilla and D/s life with. Someone to serve and belong to and feel safe and protected with.

6/5/2017 12:34:10 PM
After staying off of here for a few months, I came back and took a look again. It's still the same things that bothered me before. Not many bother to read profiles. I am not going to act submissive to you unless we reach that point. If I act submissively towards everyone who calls themselves a Dominant or Master, to me it waters down the value of my submission. I do not like being called girl, slut, whore, etc or referred to as just sub unless that is part of my relationship or dynamic with someone. 

I am tired of games and ghosting. Who knew it would be so hard to find a Dominant, sadistic, teddybear?

1/14/2017 6:24:03 PM
It has been a long day and long week, so I think I am going to log off for the night...or make the attempt. I am in dire need of more than 2-3 hours of sleep tonight after the past several nights of so little. I hope everyone has a wonderful night!

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Subslutxxx
 
 Age: 24
 Grand Bay, Alabama