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BrowncoatTiff

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I am not single! I do not want your dick!

I never know how to start these stupid things, but who does? Just looking for friends and conversation. I am not going to play with you, unless you have a vagina and are a very specific kind of person. In all likelihood though, no. Not even online.

What am I doing here? In short amusing myself.

Men Please only contact me if you are looking for conversation only. I dont play in public, I dont have skype, I wont face time you or snapchat or kik, or whatever else you have. I will chat with you here, or not at all. This is for my own comfort.

Contacting me to tell me you dont like my profile will lead to you being mocked, mercilessly. I dont care if you hate everything about me and everything about what this profile says. You dont need to contact me. Just move along, thanks.

Also, I hate pet names. I really loathe them, dont contact me with familiar terms unless we are familiar.

My writings are a good indication on my thoughts on primal dynamics and my role in the kink community. As for me, here we go. (Hint any of these topics is a good place to start conversations!)

Fandoms

Buffy
Firefly
Marvel
Supernatural
Harry Potter
Hunger Games
More? I cant think its 2am. There are more fandoms.

Obsessions

My dog Luna
My cat Pazu
My bearded dragon Pancake.
Reading all the things.
Adult coloring books
Nail art
Philip Defranco
Liberalism
Feminism
Equality
Kinky sex... obviously.

Hobbies include

Watching the same TV shows until I know every episode by heart.
Gluing things to canvas and calling it art
Walking my dog
Coloring
Pretending I am crafty while gluing my hands to things.
Cooking
Baking
Snuggling fluffy kitties named Pazu
Raising my own crickets

Music

Imagine Dragons
Rise Against
Alt J
Awolnation
Halsey
Marina and the Diamonds
Flume
Lana Del Rey
Passenger
Of Monsters and Men
Mumford and Sons
Ed Sheeran
Shovels and Rope
(this is what I could think of off the top of my head. As soon as I hit enter like 10 more will pop up in there)

Random

Sapiosexual
Demisexual
The youngest of five kids
I can sing!
Weeddabs420 life
Impressive wine drinker
Unimpressive Tequila drinker
Funny (sometimes)
Sarcasm is my first language
I dont like assholes. Dont contact me if youre an asshole, okay? I wont be nice.

I am really super fucking liberal, its a thing. I am a feminist, but not a misandrist.

I dont care what the color of your skin, your sexual orientation, your gender identity, etc, you have a place in this world and as long as we can speak to each other respectfully, you can have a place in my life too.

I have been part of this website off and on for nearly 6 years. I am not here seeking partners, or even really meetups. If I happened to meet a person on here that I thought a genuine real life friend level connection with was possible, that could potentially change?

As of this moment right now, if you are contacting me, you need to know that the chances of meeting up with me are between slim and none. Please be respectful of this.



Results from bdsmtest.org
99 Masochist
98 Rope Bunny
98 Experimentalist
97 Switch
92 Non-monogamist
90 Exhibitionist
88 Sadist
88 Primal (Prey)
85 Rigger
83 Primal (Hunter)
75 Brat
63 Voyeur
62 Dominant
58 Degradee
55 Submissive
38 MasterMistress
36 Brat Tamer
14 Degrader
8 Slave
4 Owner
4 DaddyMommy
2 GirlBoy
2 Pet
0 Ageplayer
0 Vanilla
See my results online at bdsmtest.orgresult.?id1873152

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3/4/2018 12:55:25 AM
Good god CS you find new ways to suck all the time.

1/26/2018 12:39:10 AM
He listens to my bitching. He rubs my back whenever I ask. He begs to go down on me. He makes me cum for hours. He takes care of me when I am sick. He gives me rides wherever I need to go, without complaint. He loves my animals. He makes me meals. He brings me things when he's out. He goes to the store for something for himself? He will pick up my favorite drink/snack/treat every time. He brings me flowers for no reason. He comforts me when I am sad. He digs my sense of humor. He thinks my teasing is sexy. I am just as beautiful in boy shorts and a tank top as I am in any sexy lingerie... maybe more so. He rubs my feet whenever I ask him. He never seems annoyed when I ask for affection. I am allowed to interrupt his videogaming for attention whenever I need to. He is amazing in bed. He agrees with me politically. He is not sexist, homophobic, racist, xenophobic, transphobic, or any of the like. It is the SEXIEST thing. He is secure in himself. He is not threatened by my male friends. He is not easily emasculated. He loves my depravaty, my wit, my vivacity. He doesn't care if I go out, stay in, whatever. He wants to marry me. He really loves me. Sure, sometimes he makes me crazy and gets on my nerves, but he knows what kind of weed I like, and how to make my drink, and how I take my tea and my coffee. He knows my favorite movie, my favorite food, my favorite color and he wants to know more. He wants to know everything. I have told him secrets that have been mine for years. I have been open with him in a way that I could have never been with a past partner. And he is real. I didn't make him up. I am not sugarcoating things. I could list a thousand more things he does, I could list a million. I could go on for days about why I love him. And the truth is, I didn't know it could be like this. It was never like this before, always so tense and angry and sad... I didn't know it could be this easy. I didn't know it could feel this simple. I thought I always had to walk on egg shells, afraid of bruising fragile egos. I thought love had to come with compromising myself, my morals, and my sexuality. I doesn't have to. It can be like this.

1/25/2018 1:17:06 AM
Finally got my magic wand replaced after almost two YEARS without one. God I missed the magic.

1/12/2018 2:07:27 AM
Nothing like rape threats from strangers to send you off into a peaceful sleep. Goodnight folks. I don't know how much longer I can take being on this website.

10/30/2017 1:46:56 AM
Insomnia is my favorite color. 

8/13/2017 6:31:47 PM

Sometimes I just disappear. It's a thing I do. I lurk in the background, and responding becomes too tiring, too anxiety inducing, so I don't. I get the messages, I click and read, and I go back to my life. I try not to do this to people too often, it's a byproduct of who I am, I suppose.

The truth of my life is that I am embarrassed by it. It's hard to explain how I went from one path to another so quickly, how I ended up in a scary situation again and again, and how my stupid bad choices in adulthood have managed to almost be my undoing.

I moved out of my alcoholic mothers house when I turned 18, I ran from it, more like. I graduated high school just three weeks after my 18th birthday, and I left thinking I would never look back. From then, I have never stopped running.

I left to California at 19 for a man I met on the internet, he was 23, and charming and he could rescue me from my sisters house where I was neither wanted nor cared for. I left at a run, again thinking I would never look back.

California was a testament more to my stubbornness than to a successful lasting relationship. Within my first six months there I miscarried a child I didn't know I was carrying, and from there the relationship began its steady decline.

I left him, after three and a half years, more than half of which he was cheating on me, the other half he was generally treating me badly. Why did I stay? Why does anyone stay in a bad relationship? The sex was bad, the love was sour, the relationship had long died when I finally took my leave.


I came "home".


I moved in with my older brother, and his then wife (now ex wife). I managed to live there for less than 6 months, before moving into my own apartment.


I then met someone, or re-met someone, depending on how you view it. I had known him in my youth, and he had been my first kiss a million years before.


Meeting him again in adulthood seemed a sign I was on the right track, and I worked hard to keep that relationship going. I loved him so powerfully, I thought that we could survive anything.


Within TWO WEEKS of us getting together he confessed to me that he had gotten into a car accident, and he had been drinking. Charges hadn't been filed yet, but they would. I stayed, through some fool hope that if I stayed true to him now, he would stay true to me later. It was a fool hope.


Our relationship lead me down the darkest path I have ever been on, and by then end of it I hardly knew how he had gotten there. How WE had gotten there. His felony charges of vehicular assault had made finding jobs nearly impossible in the city, I lost my job because my life was falling apart, and thus my job followed. We moved in with my father, and then my mother, and then a tweaker shack in the woods because we couldn't afford more.


That house nearly killed me. I lived there for two years, it has been nearly two years since I was there and my body is still recovering from it. The walls were filled with black mold, the ceiling filled with rats, and the property was owned by a hoarder.

Actually, if you want a good indication of where I was and how dark and scary my path became, check out Hoarders the TV series. Season 9, Episode 4... Linda is my old landlord. I lived on one of her properties. I nearly died there.


After leaving I was hospitalized, and have been again and again since then. An aggressive bacterial infection, which has even recently come back again, has had me down and out. I have been stuffed with antibiotics, steroids, inhalers, pain killers, and lord knows what else. I am tired. But I am still fighting, because what else is there?

Loving him nearly killed me, and leaving him was hardly the empowering liberation people imagine. He began using drugs, and quickly became abusive. Mostly emotionally, but it ventured into physical territory more than once. I was hardly kind to him either, but it was all such a mess. He became my constant nightmare.

I have a reoccurring nightmare which stars him. I have his child, and I am living in that old tweaker shack with him, and he is there. I am chasing him, begging him to help me with the child becasue it is dying. He won't. The child dies. That's the dream.

I had that dream long before I left that house, and now a child has died there. A real live flesh and blood child. A small family who could afford no more moved into my old tweaker shack in the woods, and they lost their two month old baby to it.

I got away, escaped to my alcoholic mothers house. It was better, because I was no longer dying. There was someone there to care for me, and help me through all of this sick. I have been out of work much of the time, I am looking to rectify that now. I love to work. Being idle has never suited me, but right now it makes me sick. Everything makes me sick. I am working on that as well.


I lived with my mother for six months before I met a man. Another nightmare. How do I choose them so well? A sociopathic nightmare this time.


Before him I had dated narcissists and fools. I had dated man children and lay abouts. I
had never dated a predator before, until this man.


Last summer, he swept me off my feet. It wasn't hard, I was hungry for it. I was starving for love, and he was beautiful.


I don't mean figuratively. I mean still he is one of the most attractive people I have ever seen. Every way he moved felt sensual, everything about him set me on high. He had a beautiful little daughter too, and of course he used her to make me love him.

I had known him for six weeks when he convinced me to travel to new mexico with him. He was from there, and he assured me that we would be there for less than a month before returning to my home in Washington.


It wasn't until the road trip down that I started to see him unraveling. It happend so quickly from there, I can hardly explain how it happened.


The first thing I realized, was that he was an alcoholic. Something he had managed to hide from me until that point.


Until the trip down, when vodka shooters began appearing everywhere, and his eyes were glassy and red the entire way. With his six year old daughter, me, my dog, and himself he disregarded the safety of us all, but I was half way through Utah before I realized what was happening.


Call me oblivious if you want, but he had built his whole life around hiding his true nature from people. He was so good. The love bombing, the sudden cold, the little comments that made me feel... less... It was all done with such grace that I hardly knew who I was. My empathic self was entirely in his grasp.


He made mistakes, though. Too many mistakes. He's a sloppy user, as it were. It
became clear before we even passed the state lines into New Mexico that he had no intention of returning back to Washington with me and my dog. That had never been the plan.


Upon my arrival there I waited, observing for several days before deciding for sure that I needed to leave. Several things happened all at once.


Firstly: The drinking continued, and now he had added cocaine.

Secondly: He insisted I could not have my animals, all of the sudden.

Third: His continued disregard for his daughter, her health and her well being. Any and
all behavior he exhibited that lended to he idea that he cared for her was more a show to keep me thinking that he did. The moment he was satisfied that he would be fine in the hands of someone else, he was only all too happy to drop her wherever to pursue his own endeavors.

Fourth: The Chameleon thing he does. His personality is adaptable, not just slightly, but entirely. He flits from one type of person to another, mirroring their behavior exactly, being exactly who they think he is. Watching him when his two personas must collide, when he is around two people who know two different sides of this parroting technique he does, he flits back and forth between personas in the blink of an eye. I watched with interest, but I was already quite sure I was leaving at that point.

Finally: The rat story. I hardly know how to explain the rat story. I am an empath, and an animal lover, and the rat story nearly made me vomit. I was with him and people he knew, and we were drinking. He starts telling this story, and he is laughing so hard he can hardly breathe. Of how, as a teenager, he and his friend microwaved a rat to death together. Slowly. When he saw how upset the story was making me, rather than stop, he pressed onward. He liked my discomfort. He liked my uneasiness. He liked to see me upset, and he continued the story despite me asking him not to more than once.

I left the next day, in a furious flurry of madness and packing, several of my favorite things did not make it home. God bless them into nothingness, he can have them, I don't care.

I packed up my dog, two suitcases full of stuff, and I hitched a ride to a hotel where I stayed for three nights until my flight left.

He harassed me with phonecalls for months before giving up on me.

I came home from New Mexico with an aversion to men, an aversion to love, to dating, to people.

I had, finally, been defeated by it. I didn't want to fall in love, not now, not ever again. Love hurt too much and people only let you down. I had decided fairly firmly that my goals could be met by me myself, I don't need much. I could live a quiet life in a small home with my animals and feel complete satisfaction.

It was when I felt this, this sense of complete oneness with myself and my goals, and no desire to incorporate anyone else into it, that I met my current partner. Well, we had slept together once, many years before. It was neither forgettable nor memorable, it was simply... not the right timing. It felt organic and good, but just... not a good time for it. Meeting again as adults was a whole other thing.

It took him a while to convince me to give him a chance. I stubbornly resisted, because I was going to do it on my own. I was going to do everything on my own so help me.

He waited, though. We spent time together, and all the little ways we are compatible began to shift into view. All the things he brought to the table that I had yearned for, all of them laid out before me for the taking. Still I resisted.

The chemistry was intense, but I ignored even that, for fear it was not right, this was going to ruin me beyond anything recognizable. But he came over, and we listened to music or watched films, exchanging little brushes and little looks, but never crossing that line.

Until one night he came to me and I was feeling hot. It had been ages since I had had a good lover, even a half way decent lover, in my life. I had grown accustomed to bad sex, and began to think that good sex would never be a part of my reality.


But he was there, and I wanted to be touched, and I teased him coyly about having not been able to cum lately. The look in his eyes said that he took that challenge to heart, but he still kept his hands to himself.


It was with a shaking kiss, my kiss, and then another. Ooooh they were sweet. The kind of kisses that make you weak in the knees and overwhelm you. And then he was on me, pressing my tattered sweat pants down, exposing myself to him, and with his face just inches from me he looked up into my eyes and asked "Do you want me to do this?"


That was the first moment I knew that I wanted to do more than just fuck him.

We were in the blissful post coital cuddle stage when at first a problem arose. I did not know it then, but it would be the seal that broke on my illnesses. My eardrum ruptured, and I was in agony for a very short period of time.


First hospital visit.


Following that one, I had mumps.


FUCKING MUMPS.


Following that, a cough that became bronchitis, that lead to the discovery of the infection in my lungs.


Lung treatments and what all else.


And he's been there, by my side. A true partner in all the things. I love him so much, and I know without doubt that he loves me. We moved in together a while ago, with our mutual best friend, Matt (yes, he is best friends with my best friend, the man I think I will marry was only that far away from me the whole time. The best friend of my best friend.) He became my strongest supporter very quickly, and I learned I could rely on him and his love.


Life is good. I have the best sex. All the time. We hardly ever go a day without making love at least once, or twice, or more. We can hardly keep our hands to ourselves.

And I think for once, I might be doing it. I might be on the right path.


A maddening concept.


I am tired of running, though. I have been running for years. I have found comfort in his steady presence. I have found solace in his soft hands and warm eyes. He doesn't set me on fire, like my exes did, he cools my spirit down. He nurtures, he is soft where they were hard, he is kind where they were cold. I keep waiting for it to end, but even his bad days are not so bad so far.


I guess that is where I am now, wondering what the future holds.


Hoping I can stay healthy long enough to get and keep a job. Hoping the infections stop, and this new treatment works. Hoping that this partner keeps getting better, 9 months in, and things are going beautifully well.


7/15/2017 11:52:43 AM
I have this theory that D types that contact me specifically to piss me off (IE, reading my profile and contacting me in the exact way I ask you not to) are actually just sub types with a humiliation fetish. Thoughts?

12/21/2016 1:23:46 AM
It's amazing how fat I suddenly become after rejecting an asshole. Five minutes ago I was beautiful and sexy, but now that I've said no I'm a whale. Got it.

12/9/2016 1:19:58 PM
From a big tough dominant male on collar space. For such a big tough man, he certainly blocked me fast enough. Guess he was too pussy to hear my rebuttal. For the record, I am absolutely quaking with fear. BigToughMan on 12/9/16 at 11:11 AM: I know where you leave cunt face, your profile is going to be shown to your neighbors BigToughMan on 12/9/16 at 11:10 AM: Harry potter is a such a terrible story only children like it, your primal like a a piece of shit floating on top sewer scumm BigToughMan on 12/9/16 at 11:08 AM: your a primal piece of shit BigToughMan on 12/9/16 at 11:08 AM: your fucking trash and if you stay on this site your going to fucking die. Your not welcome you nasty bitch! Your family is going to die too ad they are going to know your on this site

12/9/2016 9:43:49 AM
I think I might have found my kinky primal top king, and it turns out he was my best friends best friend lol. I have known this man for years, and we hooked up once about five years ago. It was good, but we were both at different times in our lives and the whole thing sort of fizzled awkwardly. His name is Beau, if that's not perfect I don't know what is. My bestie, a very tall man named Matt who has been my sidekick for more than a decade, is his best friend. So about a month ago, he saw me walking my dog while he was out driving and he hit me up on facebook. We decided to hang out and smoke some bud, but after a rather nasty breakup and several bad encounters with men, dating was kinda hardly on my radar. But we spent time together. We started talking, little things at first, I told him about my bad awkward encounter several weeks prior with a different classmate from my high school. We laughed and smoked weed and listened to music, and we spent more time talking. I already knew the basics and his life, and he knew mine, product of having the same best friend since forever. But the details started to pour, and something more real started to build. The slow burn is not something I have mastered in my lifetime. I am a jump and run kind of idiot. But we started spending time together as friends, and I really needed someone in my life at that point. The last time I hooked up with someone, it didn't exactly go well. I had that awful skin crawling disconnect right in the middle and I couldn't make it stop. I was scared that after my ex, I was simply ruined for sex. Korbin and I had a passionate and intense sex life and at the time, I hadn't really experienced anything better. And that hookup felt like a huge step back, it was so unsatisfying and just... no. After that hookup, I suddenly became incapable of having an orgasm, even while masturbating. It had been several months since I was able to reach orgasm, and I was wound a little... ah, tight? To say the least. Anyways! Weeks went by, and I knew that tension was there, but I wasn't going to make a move on it. I don't know why, something in the back of my mind kept whispering that I couldn't do it, I couldn't cum, sex was just... not really on my mind, and at the same time it was everything that was on my mind. We were building such a beautiful friendship, and I was scared that acting on that tension would ruin this thing that I so very much needed. And he knew I was just not in a place to be touched. But the tension kept building, and I knew I was flirting with him more than I probably ought to be. I wasn't trying to, anyone that knows me knows that flirting is sort of my natural state of being, but that when I am with someone I am really into, I earnestly can't help myself. Then, the kiss. I wasn't even sure if I wanted him to kiss me until he actually did it. I was in such a messed up mental state and so unsure of myself and uncomfortable I was scared I was going to tense up and hate everything and get that awful feeling like there were bugs on my skin. But then he kissed me, and none of those things happened. I just sort of... melted. And then the sex.... good god its amazing. He's into all the same kinda weird that I am. He's into all the same kinda things that I am! He reads fantasy books and plays tabletop RPGs. He listens to Irish folk tunes and sings Christmas carols with me while we clean my room. He is smart, and the times he gives me lusty looks happen more when I say something particularly witty and clever, far more than when I do something provocative. So, now I am just sort of... waiting. Waiting to see what happens, waiting for the other shoe to drop. But I don't think it will. I know Beau, I know him as a friend, and now as something else. I have never done this before. I have never gone from friends to lovers. I have gone from nothing to lovers, casual acquaintances to lovers, but never like... friends, years of moderately close friendship and weeks of seeing each other nearly every day and just spending time together without sex being involved at all to lovers. That's never happened in my lifetime. And the sex is just explosive. My good gravy, people, this is insane. Squirting until I literally can't stand, insane. Over and over and over, and he just loves to see how many different ways he can get me to do it. With his mouth, his hands, his cock, toys.... just whatever he can find. He teases me with feathers, uses clothes pins on me, hot wax, ice... whatever. Told me to put in a butt plug and wear it around the house with my family around until they all went to bed so we could finally get busy. I was wet for hours. Its just... its all good things. So now I am terrified and also not. I am dating my best friends best friend. And it's really, really good. And Matt, of course, is amazing and so supportive of this. He admitted to trying to make it happen even. So there's that too. Life is fucking great.

11/15/2016 5:36:16 PM
I suppose I am looking for the whole package. Geeky, smart, funny, moderately fit, 420 friendly, sexy, capable of carrying engaging and interesting conversation, and primal in the bedroom. Someone who wants to snuggle in bed with books or music or movies, but can also chase me naked through the woods on a full moon. Someone who could be just as at ease at a comicon as they are on a weekend camping trip. Someone who loves animals and has similar life goals, and wants a family. I'm convinced this person exists and I just haven't found themy yet.

11/8/2016 6:18:10 PM
Primal is such a hard thing to explain. It's not an action, it's a feeling. It's that desperate, gotta have you, ripping clothes, fingers digging, biting, hair pulling, mess of sweat and passion and nails raking down backs and needy aggressive love making full of emotion and trust. Primal isn't something you can teach, primal is something that you are. As a primal player my sex can down right scare people. It's guttural screams and groans and grunts, not soft breathy moans and "did I hurt you?"s it's so uncomplicated and organic and freeing. Saying I'm primal prey seems to give some indication that I am a submissive woman. I am far from it. The man that can handle me won't want a submissive woman, he will want his fiery queen to rule beside him. She doesn't have a collar, because he doesn't own her. They are equal. He loves her power and knows she is the fuel in his life. She respects his strength and masculinity while reveling in her own feminine nature. They know the value and strength of each other's presence. If this could be you,message me. If not? Don't bother. Unless you're just looking for a friend.

10/30/2016 11:24:19 PM
God I love it when I get idiots to block me. Night made. :P

10/29/2016 8:17:00 PM
If you roll into my inbox trying to give orders acting like we have some kind of dynamic in place, I can already tell you that you can't handle me. I don't take orders anyways, but I'm even less inclined to do it when some douche on the interwebs is giving them. Do yourself a favor, and don't.

10/15/2016 1:40:13 AM
Sometimes when someone is being an annoying twat I troll them with quotes from my favorite shows.

9/25/2016 7:29:39 PM
Why does it seem so hard to find someone who is kind, sexy, hung, and smart who will also lick my asshole?

9/10/2016 12:12:13 PM
Do not let my looks deceive you. I am not sweet. "Do not mistake me for a damsel in need of saving from the dragon. I am the dragon, and I will eat you alive."

9/8/2016 12:37:24 PM
http://www.submissiveguide.com/2013/07/what-is-primal-play/

9/2/2016 10:47:06 PM
Let's get a few things straight I am not a sub. I am primal. I enjoy being caught by a man, taken by a man, etc. However, i don't want a man that wants to break my spirit, rather one that finds my spirit so intoxicating that it overwhelms him with the desire to have me. I am strong, I am faithful, i am loving, and i am all that is woman. I am compassionate and empathetic and nurturing. I need a man that accepts and revels in these qualities. If your goal is an obedient woman on her knees before you i am not the woman for you. While I am typically prey, I can be a predator too when the mood strikes me. I like a man that knows how to be a man, but is also in tune with his own emotions. Im tired of being with boys that bottle their feelings and then explode them all over me. I am looking for the real deal. The lifetime connection. The person I will be with forever, have children with, etc. Must love animals and short girls. Message me if you're local and in my age range (a few years younger and 10 or so years older is my limit). If this message does not make it clear enough, my my personality is made of fire. If you message me disrespectfully, expect fire in return.

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triipwire
 
 Submissive, Age:  23
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