i don't know fully what I am yet. But I do feel at peace when I just submit. When I imagine this lifestyle I see a revered, dominate and caring female who owns me. When I'm obedient I know because punishment does not follow. When I'm disobedient I expect to fully submit to whatever punishment is chosen for me. I'm not a brat so I'm not looking to seek out punishment by intentionally doing the wrong thing. From forums and videos I've watched I have this possibly unrealistic expectation (or realistic) of how good and bad obedience would be dealt with. For ex in my mind I picture being locked into a cage with a pillow and water when obedient at the end of the day. But if not obedient I'm placed in a cage naked with no pillow, bound hands, bound feet and bound testicules (possibly after some form of punishment like paddlin.) This example is not a desire but my uneducated expectation. Additionally, I would expect chastity and acts of service. Just typing these things I thought to myself if that's really me. Would I be ok with pain punishment to my body or possibly testicules? My immediate thought is that it doesn't matter because my owner knows best. Please tell me if my perspective is right or wrong.