I was part of the CM community for many years and have been on the CS community as well for a total of ten years! In my attempt to remain optimistic about our time here, the people that I’ve chatted with, and some that we’ve met, I’ve developed a rather lengthy perception of how I’m seeing things on this anniversary.
In preparing this, I had to brush aside the “non-connects”: those being the people who either didn’t find us attractive or were clearly looking for someone else or visa versa. I also had to leave out the ones who were hearing voices in their head or somewhere beneath the nails of their toes. With those factors as well as a few others left out, I saw something amazing and I called it the “Romance of Reality” syndrome.
The Romance of Reality
Experiences have taught me that too often the inexperienced look to a reality of what a M/s relationship should be through the rhinestone-studded glasses of romance. Through such glasses, a Master’s voice is that of Barry White and his body is that of a washboard. The hand that touches the face of a slave is smooth and lightly scented with the musky oil of Brut cologne.
The phrases uttered in the romantic reality are exactly what needs to be said to moisten the nether lips of the vagina. The legs part not of their own accord but because they have no choice and the head bows so as to permit the placement of the collar and gripping of the hair. Nary a word is misspoken. The commands themselves are utterances that please the ear and titillate the mind. “Yes, Master” is whispered and genuinely felt as the pulse runs apace and the mouth runs dry.
The day-to-day details of the mundane are never a bothersome factor in this reality. Once the climax is reached, a slave’s Master fades into the mist as the eyes flutter to sleep. The morning alarm awakes a glorious memory of “what was” without the odor of a Master’s breath or his need for a repeat performance.
There may be a faint whisper of desire to relinquish control in this romantic reality and the excitement that clings like dew to such an image. The romantic ideal that someone else pays the bills and haggles with the plumber is a tickling day dream that only comes into the light on CS. The tedium that accompanies this potential reality is never further away then the DELETE button.
The mind keeps any potential “REAL” suitors at bay with whispers of “Oh, he’s too tall” or “He isn’t good looking enough.” “I could never see myself submitting to that kind of a man” only leads to the realization that this site just isn’t working and maybe this slave will never find the right one because all Master’s are wannabes or fakes. Rejection of a potential is never safer then the DELETE button. The control that can be exercised through rationale and the power of the checked box followed by the DELETE are empowering.
The second phase of development begins with the building of power that started with the exercising of the DELETE key. Now the profile must be fine-tuned to warn all wannabes and fakes that you’re on to them. Now the slave has real power: the power of the label! "Wannabes" and "fakes" beware, as the profile has now been tuned to reflect the newest sense of empowerment. Now the mind tells the Romantic Slave that she can identify the fakes by their picture, profile, short response or one-time chat. And "Only locals need apply". "If you don’t include a picture, you won’t get a reply." Oh how sweet this is.
The slave with such empowerment is now driving 65 on the super highway of understanding and feeling clear that she gets it despite the fact that in reality, everything at that speed is passing in a blur……..without ever realizing that she’s not getting a thing but merely passing up everything (good, bad, or indifferent). Nothing looks as sweet as understanding and the power of control. “I’m just not cut out for this.” “I’m better than any of them.” “I can do fine without anyone’s control.” And so the romantic cancels her account as it’s pointless….there are no “real” Masters out there. Instead she shifts her gaze elsewhere and hears the whispers that convince her she now sees it all but failing to realize that she has experienced nothing.
And then there's the "high" that comes from getting all of those emails. Now this is the rush of adoration. When there are so many potentials in your inbox, why settle for one? How can you choose when there are SOOOO many choices. YUM! You may be interested in one today but there are so many more waiting for your attention tomorrow! YEAH! It's liberating! It's what it must have felt like to be popular in high school!
The euphoria of window shopping! So many stores and store windows to look into, a potential master must be hiding in one of these shoppes somewhere? Right? Logically, how can the reality ever match the romance of the hunt? Let's face it, men don't smell as good as women unless they're viewed from behind plate glass.
The Reality of Romance
I’ve found the key to getting it right for the reality of romance is the flexibility. I have my desires and my needs but I also have the acceptance that I’m not in bed by myself, I have another who has the desires of the lifestyle as well. It will not be the romantic match that I masturbate to but then my slave won’t disappear into my head when I drift off to sleep either.
Experience is a great teacher for those who are receptive to such experiences. Compromise! If I see the big picture of a long term relationship, I can be accepting of engaging in activities that I wouldn't otherwise participate in but my partner desires to try. As long as she is accepting of my learning curve and my laughter at my own catastrophic failures as we go forward then our long term relationship will survive intact.
NOTE: no where in this missive will you find the word ego.
If you made it all the way to here...then you WIN!