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A dominant male with over twenty years of experience is seeking a submissive female.  I h
Male Dominant, 55,  St. Louis, Missouri











Last Online:


 Dominant Male

 St. Louis 


 6' 7"

 220 lbs





Actively Seeking:

Submissive Female

A Poly Household

A dominant male with over twenty years of experience is seeking a submissive female.  I have a wide range of experience but I prefer to play in the deeper end of the lifestyle pool.  I am well educated and well read.  In addition to my dom choices, I enjoy reading and lively discussion.  I also enjoy setting up and following established protocols.  I learned long ago that the best relationship is one of agreement: both parties must have the maturity and experience to be able to express their needs and know their role in the relationship.


I am a married man but my wife and I live apart:  she in Chicago while I live in St. Louis.


I am a creature of habit and miss the lifestyle when I don't have a trainee. I am discreet and mature.  I will be respectful in our early conversations. If we find mutual interest and agreement on how to proceed, I will slowly begin taking control or establishing the ground rules for when we meet, depending on the type of relationship we are building.



Journal Entries:
7/18/2017 3:55:51 AM

I get it!  There’s an addictive adrenaline rush that goes through me as I weave my way through this site.  It’s always exciting to see the “New Messages!” button lit red.  It means that there is a potential connection about to happen if you’ll just click that button!  It’s soooooo exciting!


Sadly, then it becomes a drag and an adrenaline let down to actually engage in a chat with that certain someone who sent the initial message of interest….boring!  If I could only get back to the high of clicking on the next new message and just keep getting the high off of the ego boost that becomes addictive from all of the attention!  It’s great being me.


Then what?


Well, then I’ve found that just clicking the “NEW” message and then coming up with reasons not to text them back to be really empowering.  I am in control (hands on hips and chin thrust out thusly) if I find a reason (financial, distance….or otherwise) to not reply and to “Delete.”  Ah, the power of the button!


I’ve got the adrenaline rush of the “New Message” and the empowerment of the “Delete” button and feel pretty good about myself.  I am beautiful/handsome!  I am strong/fit!  I am better/fitter than this guy/girl!


Then what?


I feel hollow for just a moment and then I conclude after weeks of this cycling through, because it’s MY ego talking, that there  aren’t any real Masters/doms out there.  Everyone else is a  phony/fake/wannabe….. and I’m the only one who REALLY gets what this lifestyle is about.  My conclusion:  --------- ooops! 


Sorry, I just got a new message that has just squirted another bit of adrenaline into my brain to fuel my ego.


And the cycle continues until I conclude that this site is worthless.  Who knew?

3/29/2016 4:30:31 PM
The Chinese yin-yang symbol for balance and harmony has become a touchstone for me with regards to how I approach this lifestyle and my trainees.   I’m often asked to take the lead and “dominate” without a clue as to what is desired from the bottom.

I have on occasion been accused of being a “wanna-be” or weak.  I don’t see it that way nor do I see such labels as productive or terribly enlightened.   With over thirty years of lifestyle experience, I’ve come to a different plane of understanding.  The yin-yang is a symbol comprised of two halves that make up the whole.  Each half has a portion that is stronger as well as an area that is weaker.  The idea then is that the two halves come together to form a complete and enriching experience for both.

Towards that end:  I can not label myself a “Master” if I don’t have a submissive or slave.  Nor can a sub consider herself as such if she has no one to dominate her.   I have a lifetime of experiences within the lifestyle that contribute to my stronger portion of my half.  As a lifelong learner, I also seek the experience to fill in the thinner portion of my half.  I am always in search of learning more.  I seek the trainee who has the wisdom to see that such a philosophy is healthy and beneficial to a long term relationship.  

As a lifelong learner, I seek the trainee who has the life experience to be able to understand and accept that I don’t know it all and that I want to grow within the relationship that forms our two halves.   I don’t pretend to always get it right….such illusions are the trappings of fantasy or hubris.  Instead, I open myself to the desires of my submissive partner.  Together, we then form a partnership of growth and fulfillment within the lifestyle.

3/15/2016 2:23:23 PM

I was part of the CM community for many years and have been on the CS community as well for a total of ten years!   In my attempt to remain optimistic about our time here, the people that I’ve chatted with, and some that we’ve met, I’ve developed a rather lengthy perception of how I’m seeing things on this anniversary. 


In preparing this, I had to brush aside the “non-connects”: those being the people who either didn’t find us attractive or were clearly looking for someone else or visa versa.  I also had to leave out the ones who were hearing voices in their head or somewhere beneath the nails of their toes.  With those factors as well as a few others left out, I saw something amazing and I called it the “Romance of Reality” syndrome. 


The Romance of Reality 

Experiences have taught me that too often the inexperienced look to a reality of what a M/s relationship should be through the rhinestone-studded glasses of romance.  Through such glasses, a Master’s voice is that of Barry White and his body is that of a washboard.  The hand that touches the face of a slave is smooth and lightly scented with the musky oil of Brut cologne.  


The phrases uttered in the romantic reality are exactly what needs to be said to moisten the nether lips of the vagina.  The legs part not of their own accord but because they have no choice and the head bows so as to permit the placement of the collar and gripping of the hair.  Nary a word is misspoken.  The commands themselves are utterances that please the ear and titillate the mind.  “Yes, Master” is whispered and genuinely felt as the pulse runs apace and the mouth runs dry. 


The day-to-day details of the mundane are never a bothersome factor in this reality.  Once the climax is reached, a slave’s Master fades into the mist as the eyes flutter to sleep.  The morning alarm awakes a glorious memory of “what was” without the odor of a Master’s breath or his need for a repeat performance. 


There may be a faint whisper of desire to relinquish control in this romantic reality and the excitement that clings like dew to such an image.  The romantic ideal that someone else pays the bills and haggles with the plumber is a tickling day dream that only comes into the light on CS.  The tedium that accompanies this potential reality is never further away then the DELETE button.  


The mind keeps any potential “REAL” suitors at bay with whispers of “Oh, he’s too tall” or “He isn’t good looking enough.”  “I could never see myself submitting to that kind of a man” only leads to the realization that this site just isn’t working and maybe this slave will never find the right one because all Master’s are wannabes or fakes.   Rejection of a potential is never safer then the DELETE button.  The control that can be exercised through rationale and the power of the checked box followed by the DELETE are empowering.   


The second phase of development begins with the building of power that started with the exercising of the DELETE key.  Now the profile must be fine-tuned to warn all wannabes and fakes that you’re on to them.  Now the slave has real power: the power of the label!  "Wannabes" and "fakes" beware, as the profile has now been tuned to reflect the newest sense of empowerment.  Now the mind tells the Romantic Slave that she can identify the fakes by their picture, profile, short response or one-time chat.  And "Only locals need apply".  "If you don’t include a picture, you won’t get a reply."  Oh how sweet this is.   


The slave with such empowerment is now driving 65 on the super highway of understanding and feeling clear that she gets it despite the fact that in reality, everything at that speed is passing in a blur……..without ever realizing that she’s not getting a thing but merely passing up everything (good, bad, or indifferent).  Nothing looks as sweet as understanding and the power of control.  “I’m just not cut out for this.”  “I’m better than any of them.”  “I can do fine without anyone’s control.”  And so the romantic cancels her account as it’s pointless….there are no “real” Masters out there.  Instead she shifts her gaze elsewhere and hears the whispers that convince her she now sees it all but failing to realize that she has experienced nothing.

And then there's the "high" that comes from getting all of those emails.  Now this is the rush of adoration.  When there are so many potentials in your inbox, why settle for one?  How can you choose when there are SOOOO many choices.  YUM!  You may be interested in one today but there are so many more waiting for your attention tomorrow!  YEAH!  It's liberating!  It's what it must have felt like to be popular in high school!  

The euphoria of window shopping!  So many stores and store windows to look into, a potential master must be hiding in one of these shoppes somewhere?  Right?  Logically, how can the reality ever match the romance of the hunt?  Let's face it, men don't smell as good as women unless they're viewed from behind plate glass.


The Reality of Romance 


I’ve found the key to getting it right for the reality of romance is the flexibility.  I have my desires and my needs but I also have the acceptance that I’m not in bed by myself, I have another who has the desires of the lifestyle as well.  It will not be the romantic match that I masturbate to but then my slave won’t disappear into my head when I drift off to sleep either.

Experience is a great teacher for those who are receptive to such experiences.  Compromise!  If I see the big picture of a long term relationship, I can be accepting of engaging in activities that I wouldn't otherwise participate in but my partner desires to try.  As long as she is accepting of my learning curve and my laughter at my own catastrophic failures as we go forward then our long term relationship will survive intact. 

NOTE: no where in this missive will you find the word ego.

If you made it all the way to here...then you WIN! 

3/8/2016 1:07:45 AM
An observation based on experience: 
I've been a part of the BDSM community for most of my life and a community member of Collar Space from the days when it was CM.  As the years have rolled on and the emails have been sent, I've noticed that way too many members seem to never move forward in what they're looking for or demonstrate any increase in their experiences. 

I've read many a journal that cries for the "right" master to come along to liberate them from the doldrums of their day-to-day lives only to check in months or years later and they still haven't found the knight on the white steed with a flogger just for them.

I know that this website works as I've met and trained many subs and slaves over the years.  This is my point:  I think that there are many who merely "window shop" from the site.  I have a theory that I've built over the years that it seems to be easy and ego caressing for some members to merely look over those members who send an email of interest but then never ever commit to doing anything beyond the initial emails of interest.  I base that theory on a lack of change that I see to many of the profiles or frustrated journal entries.  It seems that the fantasy of what the lifestyle could be is enough for them without ever meeting someone who could fulfill the dreams of what it could be.  That is fine of course as the world takes all kinds of people to live in it but it is very frustrating to the rest of us who also live in it.

I get it!  There's a high degree of fear in actually stepping out from your domicile and venturing to meet someone who will then tie you up and render you helpless.  My issue comes from the judgments made  from those without the experience beyond the glowing screen of their computer.  I've read too many responses that begin with inane and judgmental comments that make little or no sense.  The comments make it readily apparent that the responder has no experience and is just looking for a reason to invalidate the person who sent the initial email.  Yuk!

In a world that I would command, we would all be willing to take the risk to meet and communicate with honesty and integrity.  I'm not saying that we're all perfect matches for each other but being honest in the search and in the responses sent is a great start for clear communication.  And in my world, clear communication is a way to clear away the fog of misunderstanding and miscommunication.  CUE MUSIC  (fade to the flag flying)

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