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upstnysissy
Pan Transgender, 72, Oneonta, New York 
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 Transgender

 Oneonta

 New York

 Willing to Relocate

 5' 9"

 230 lbs

 72

 Pan

 Caucasian

 04/02/23

i am very submissive gurl and completely impotent. Being unable to cum is an advantage in serving a masculine male like You. Sissies that cum during a scene suffer “subdrop” post-orgasm, without overpowering sexual excitant shame washes over the gurl and she loses interest. Gurls inherently know that it is wrong for them to masturbate like a Man. i am pleased You want to put me in chastity to prevent me from touching my tiny clitty.

i want to show devotion when pleasing my Man. i am focused on causing You to erupt in a powerful orgasm without distraction because i am playing with my clit. You are born to cum and my purpose is help You achieve a sexually satisfying orgasm. I revel in Your cumshot, so forceful, explosive, powerful, emphatic. When You cum in me it is a natural claiming of my body as owned property. I feel very content with bringing You sexual satisfaction, the sweet release of pressure in Your groin and the waves of endorphin-fueled pleasure.

Conversely, i achieved a kind of nirvana when i stopped trying to emulate the behavior of Men and started practicing restraint, denial, control, and focus. My fate is to be useful for Your sexual needs. i have found fulfillment and peace by acceptance of my role. I become sexually aroused by masculine men who make me long to submit, to be controlled and surrender power.

my freedom, as a submissive, is knowing i can trust You. i need to know i can let go completely and follow Your rules, guidance, commands, and directions.  My understanding and yielding to Your masculine power is what will make our relationship successful and mutually satisfying. You deserve to feel like the king of the fucking universe. i admire Your Maleness, and appreciated for the raw masculinity that is the very act of penetrating my body implies. Your DNA is going to enter my body, and become a part of me. i will be a better submissive gurl because of it.


sweet cheeks belle 

6/2/2017 6:23:58 PM: i am now limp at all times. i have long yearned to be limp dick sissy unable to have an erection or masculine desires. That dream is now a reality. i am now prescribed Proscar for my enlarged prostate.i previously took phytoestrogen herbs (pueraria mirifica being the most effective) that helped me grow small tits & shrink my clittie. i also masturbated using a technique designed to cause erectile dysfunction and shrinkage where i put on gurly clothes, lube my finger tips then use three fingers to press hard straight down on my clit until it disappears into my pubis mons, i masturbate with my finger tips in a circular motion like a woman. i rarely cum using this method. When i do it is clear thin sissy juice but not Rean Man seed. This technique breaks down the fibrous tissue & results in reduction in size & erectile disfunction. i also have spent many hours watching sissy hypno MP3's intended to cause shrinkage.While all the above helped shrink my dick I did not achieve total impotence until I started taking Proscar. Proscar raises estrogen (the female hormone) levels, and i was warned about reduced libido. But the effect on me has been very different. Unable to reach satiation i find myself perpetually horny. I've lost all interest in sex as the penetrator & now only think about being penetrated (mouth & ass-pussy). i'm now more focused on arousing my partner to orgasm and pleasure from stimulation of my sissy pussy and nipples.i have long hated the conflict between my feelings of fem fervor and desires to be dominated and penetrated with the masculinity associated with an erection. Worse yet is the loss fem / sub zeal following an eruptive masculine ejaculation. Suddenly finding myself dressed with a dildo in my ass and cover in cum but with arousal gone the situation  is less than awkward.i've always been envious of genetic girls who get a little wet spot in their panties when aroused. I plan to start taking Pygeum. Pygeum is both a homeopathic treatment for my enlarged prostate and increases the amount of precum my tiny limp clittie leaks.i've not noticed any shrinkage in my ovaries yet but I hope this follows soon.i still want to find a Mistress or Master who will keep me in chastity. While one reason for wanting chastity was to eliminate erection/masturbation. But there are still many reasons why chastity is important. By controlling my sissy clit in chastity, my Mistress or Master would keep me in a constant state of arousal at my most obedient and submissive state. Besides i long ago learned non-erection masturbation. i am no longer a man & don't want to find sexual satisfaction from my clit, erect or flaccid. i want to be reprogrammed to understand that my mouth, tits and pussy are now my sex organs. i want to cum like a girl from penetration. Prolonged chastity causes the sissy body to turn off the mechanism caused masculine orgasms. my sissified body will no longer direct blood flow and hormones to my clittie where they are no longer used or wanted and increase flow to my p-spot and ass-pussy nerves causing enhanced response to arousal in my primary sex organ. The chastity device is a constant reminder that I accept under the control of a Dominant. Prolonged chastity will cause atrophy and shrinkage of my clittie.  

2/18/2017 9:32:40 AM: == Results from bdsmtest.org == 99% Submissive 97% Rope bunny 96% Degradee 91% Experimentalist 90% Masochist 89% Slave 87% Non-monogamist 79% Exhibitionist 68% Primal (Prey) 62% Girl/Boy 46% Age player 45% Switch 38% Voyeur 31% Pet 30% Brat 17% Dominant 15% Vanilla At the heart of every sissy’s psyche is a need for sexual humiliation.i am no longer a real man and have no desire to become a real woman. I seek a woman who will help me accept the fact that I am a fag cuckold with a clit and a sissy pussy.i believe that the key for a Mistress to really dominate, control, and own me is to keep control of my sissy-clit in a chastity device. i should not have erections or eruptive ejaculations which cause adverse non-submissive & masculine thoughts & emotions. i believe that the key for a Mistress to really dominate, control, and own me to keep control of my sissy-clit in a chastity device. i should not have erections or eruptive ejaculations which cause adverse non-submissive & masculine thoughts & emotions.By controlling my clit, You will keep me in a constant state of obedient and submissive arousal. Mentally it is important to me that i accept that i am no longer in control. Previously my cock was the focus of my sexuality. i must be reprogrammed to understand that my mouth, tits and pussy are now my sex organs. i want to cum like a girl from ass pussy penetration, divorce sexual pleasure from an erection & embrace my femininity.   In the same way that a blind man's other senses become enhanced, as a sissy in chastity my tits & pussy will become more sensitive to arousal. i love to feel feminine and love it when i am treated like a sissy bitch. i enjoy being touched, hugged, groped, kissed and felt-up just like a real woman. The human body is amazingly adaptive. Prolonged chastity causes the sissy body to turn off the mechanism that once caused masculine orgasms. my sissified mind will demand blood flow and hormones directed to my p-spot and asspussy nerves. The increased blood flow to my anus will cause the ring to swell and take on the appearance of an aroused pussy. I will respond to sexual stimulation as a fag sissy not a man. Prolonged chastity will cause further atrophy and shrinkage of my clittie. After a few weeks prostate starts to shrink and becomes less responsive to testosterone. After a few months the sissy clit begins to shrink. At one year the shrinkage is marked & the sissy is incapable of an erection. The muscles that are used to forcefully eject cum will atrophy making eruptive ejaculation impossible.

9/3/2016 9:01:32 AM: my love of large cocks began early.i was an excited 8 yr old boy. It was a beautiful Friday afternoon & there were only few days of school left. Living in the deep south I had a summer of camping, swimming, endless baseball, boating, skiing, & other assorted fun to look forward to. As a young child i was teased because even though i was scrawny & thin as a rail, i had a large round ass. i was routinely taunted by other kids on the school bus about my prominent oversized ass. Their taunting nearly had me in tears but i refused to show it on this particular day. Ron (a hi school junior) was the bus bully & everyone was terrified of him. He turned around & threatened my taunters if they didn’t stop they would answer to him. i was pleasantly surprised & my tormentors were terrified. Ron was was all-county center on the football team. Nobody fucked with Ron. His buddies called him “Log” & he was King of our small world. After supper, i went to visit my best friend Tommy for a sleep over. He lived on the hill above me & next door to Ron & & his younger brother Benny. Tommy’s dad owned a construction business & had built a small cabin for Tommy in the woods behind their house. It was not your typical crude cabin, it had electric & even a TV. Very advanced for the 1950’s. Very late after Tommy’s parents had gone to bed, Benny came to the cabin. i was startled, but Tommy wasn’t. Benny wanted us to come with him. It turns out Benny had something going with Tommy. i was too naïve to understand what “that” might be. When we got to Ron & Benny’s house (the parent’s had gone to Florida for a long biker’s weekend ~ great thing to do that time of year). There were several of the players from the high school baseball team, they were celebrating a big win in the regional finals. They were still in their sweaty uniforms. They had been drinking heavily. Shortly after we got there Tommy disappeared with Benny into a bedroom. Suddenly, i found myself surrounded by drunken, older boys. But somehow i wasn’t afraid because I knew Ron would protect me. Ron had me sit next to him. Soon Ron had me sit in his lap & he was massaging my ass. I knew it was wrong but somehow i felt very secure in his arms. i was also excited by an emotion deep inside me i never knew existed. i was given a beer & some whiskey & soon i was feeling very strange but even more excited. One of the boys produced a nudie mag & some of the boys started to masturbate. i was amazed at the size of their cocks. i had only seen boys my pre puberty age. One ejaculated & i was astonished & asked what the stuff that spewed from his cock was. They told me it was the stuff babies were made from. i was confused & very skeptical. Ron removed my pants & fondled me with his strong hands. He made me kneel before him. He slowly undid his zipper right in front of my face. First i gasped because of the pungent smell. But the smell didn't repulse me, it excited me. Ron was the catcher on the baseball team. He was still wearing his jock strap & the cup that protected his balls. The smell was strong but I couldn't get enough of it. It was more intoxicating than the whiskey. His Masculine aroma was arousing & my tiny pee-pee was hard. Then i gasped at the sight of his cock & balls, he was much larger than any of the others. The boys laughed & asked why me I thought his nickname was “Log”. i said i thought it was because he was sound sleeper. This drew a large round of laughter. Ron took a can of lard from the kitchen & put some on the head of his cock & a lot up the crack of my ass. Then he put a finger up me. i gasped in pain but I was also very excited & loved the attention of this older dominant boy. He then turned me around & tried to enter me. It was no good, he was too big & i was too small for such a large cock. After a while he gave up. He had me kneel in front of him & he placed the head of his cock in my mouth. At first the taste of the lard was gagging but it soon went away. Clyde, Ron’s best friend, was the first to enter my ass. It hurt at first but Ron held me firm on his cock with a large hand on either side of my head & hairy legs holding my upper body. my ass was free to wiggle around but unable to escape exposed. The pain at first was intense but it passed. i was fucked by multiple guys. Most came quickly & were replaced by another. but I was hypnotized by huge knobby cock head in my mouth & the smell of Ron’s sweaty crotch. When he came he stood up & shot a huge load of cum onto my back. From His deep guttural sound i knew i had brought him pleasure & this made me very proud.Ron then sat back down & rubbed his creamy cock on my face. Then he scooped the cum off my back & & ordered me to lick the cum from his hand & fingers & swallow it. I was reluctant because of the smell & my confusion over the baby stuff. The taste was pungent but i obeyed because i could see it pleased Him. i was then left lying on the floor on my back. One after another the boys fucked me holding my legs spread apart. i was now able to watch the faces & see the lust & joy. i liked being the center of attention of all these older boys. i remember Ron placing me in a bed after everyone had cum in and on me multiple times. i was exhausted but also pleased that i had been the center of attention. i remember my biggest guilt at the time was the cum oozing from my ass, I thought about the babies that were supposed to be made of this stuff. i was woke later by Ron getting into bed with me. He curled up beside me. i instinctively reached behind me & touched his large meaty cock. It began to hardened immediately. He said something about me being a slut. He turned me flat on my belly. I spread my legs. But he put my legs together & straddled me with his big thighs & legs. He placed the head of his cock in my ass then used his weight to force the head of his cock in. Surprisingly there was only a little pain & he slowly allowed the weight of his body to force the full length & girth of his cock into me, all the way in. i only thought I had been fucked earlier. i now knew I was being fucked, his cock was so big around. i loved being so full, so overpowered pinned like that & unable to move & Ron pounding me. i loved it & i was hooked. Something was deeply seeded in me. i loved his big cock. i loved His hairy body & His aroma. Ron must have told His friends that i was exclusively His now because no one ever tried to touch me again. Ron & i got together many times over the next several months until He got in trouble with the law when he stole a car. He was given the choice of jail or the military. He chose the military. i never saw him again.

7/13/2016 1:03:20 AM: After being fucked & having Master's manly juices inside me I should be plugged. The knowledge that His manly fluids are swimming around inside me, unable to seep out, compound its sense of emasculation and submission. As i mince about in stockings and high heels, imprisoned in a tightly laced corset, the impotent remnants of my former manhood locked in chastity, the plug is a constant reminder of my surrender. The plug serves to keeps me in a sustained state of invasive intrusion & open for the next time Master needs my pussy. There is an often overlooked reason that sissies need to suck the Cocks of real Men. A real Man's Cocks powerfully erupts creamy semen that is different from the sissies watery oozing. Semen produced by real Men contains chemicals that enhance wellness of the sissy and feminizes her psyche. There have been several clinical studies to prove Semen ingestion reduces depression which makes sissies happy after they have learned to accept their inferiority & role as bitch to a real Man. A real Man's Seed also contains pheromones. Pheromones are what attract people sexually and stimulate people to want to be close and make the other happy.  i get excited by the smell of a masculine man's armpit's & crotch, According to researchers it is not really the smell that causes this but rather the pheromones. A sissy becomes addicted to Master's pheromones especially in His cum.  Making sure that some of their Master’s semen is left on their upper lip just below the nose makes sure that pheromones are penetrating her nostrils and entering the brain & bonding her to Master.    

7/11/2016 1:18:54 AM: i am inexperienced but very interested in Sounding and Urethral Insertion. 2 yrs ago I had a kidney stone & terrible urinary tract infection. I was in hospital for week waiting for the infection to clear before they did an ultra sound procedure to break-up he stone. i had a catheter in entire time. Each morning a class of students would come in & part of he exam was inspecting the catheter. Since i was shaved i found this humiliating but strangely exciting. a week or so after the procedure i was back in the hospital, The infection had not cleared before the ultrasound & now the infection had spread to my entire body. Again i was catheterized. But this time the catheter was too small. I peed myself three times before a larger catheter was inserted. i feeling of warm pee running over me & soaking the gown & bed was humiliating. Being cleaned & changed by a nurse even more so. The new catheter was much larger. It felt like a garden hose. i was running a high fever & having strange dreams. In one dream i had a vagina impaled with a big dildo. i awoke with an engorged clit tightly squeezing the tubing. My fevers got worse. One day my fever went over 107 four times. Each time a team of nurses that called themselves the 'Fast & Furious' would take off my sweat soaked gown & wash me down with ice water. Then i would be packed in ice packs. The next morning when the students came in my clit had retracted back into my body. The instructor had difficulty pulling my clit out. One guy was smirking & two girls were suppressing giggles. Later that day i was moved to ICU. i missed the students. My second hospital visit was 2 1/2 wks, the entire time catheterized,

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