4/16/2014 7:14:33 PM: Owner has ordered me to put this into slaves journal ... this is very much .. me        as a slave, i am not an equal to those around me. i am property,  i am chattel , but an with feelings.  a slave needs love and care, she needs support and encouragement, but it does not need respect or fair treatment.  a slave must serve her Owner, worship him, please him, only to bring pleasure to its Owner. aside from the use of its body and its companionship, a slave is worthless, and it must know this in her heart and feel it.  a slave should not feel pride, but shame.      but in its shame, there is a sense of accomplishment for making her Owner happy, and a slave must love itself as well.  it should know that it is not its fault that it is a slave, that it was born to serve, and it should find happiness and peace in knowing it is fulfilling its purpose.       I am a slave, i am not a person, i am made to do, but i take pride and pleasure knowing that i am doing what i was meant to do, that i am being true to myself. i worship my Owner with a smile, i cry when He tortures me, and smile when  He compliments my ability to suffer so sweetly for Him.   i am a slave, loved, protected, cherished and shaped into a perfect 'thing'.

1/15/2014 5:21:06 AM:    slave has been thoughtful ... and even tho slave does not have to think much this slave also must tell Owner of any thoughts it has .... and also to write emails of what slave does and how it feels so that Owner can monitor its property and always direct this slaves course into slavery ..     this entry tells of slaves mindset ....and has been approved by its Owner.    this day .. slave has decided to write about how its mind is thinking .. and hopes Owner approves .. the mindset is everything in the slaves life ..  it helps to control this slaves existence..... slave is as usual doing its daily morning rituals .. kneeling and kissing the floor .. and worshiping Owner with thanks that it is property .. chattel belonging to Owner ...  slave is content to be serving as a slave .. slave understands how slaves status must be an animal slave ... to be a female that is only destined to become a slave... the dominant Male is so Superior that it only makes sense that females should be slaves ... to serve in the way the dominant Male would wish .. and slave realizes that is why training goes on for slaves so that the slave can learn how to please the Owner .... and be obedient to crawl up to Owner to kiss feet and worship and serve Owner in whatever way Owner wishes ... slave will keep descending into deeper slavery as the Owner wishes ... to keep its mind tuned into the slavery mode ... and slave understands that it must always write to the Owner with emails like this one to tell the Owner what it is thinking and doing .. and reveal its state of mind by doing this email ..  this helps to keep the slave in its slave mode .. and to help the Owner know the state of its property's mind .. to help in the training of the slave..... if there is anything that can help to keep the slaves mind where it is .. or to push the slave into slavery more deeper ...   slave understands that its mind is the way the Owner wants it ...  that the slave is in the right mindset of a slave so that it does reveal to the Owner all that is in its mind .. its thoughts about the slavery its in ... and also reveals what slave does during its days .. slave tells how it is faking its existence to all in the vanilla world ..  slave understands how it must just act being a wife.. and playing roles of a mother, grandmother and friend .. fooling all the vanilla world .... slave knows its reality of being a slave.... slave pictures itself as a slave .. being naked, collared .. seeing itself in its mind helps to know the reality... being the slave to Owner is real and will not change .. visualizing itself helps to know it cannot hide itself .. must show itself as a slave as orders have been made ..  the cam will show slaves body and that nothing can be private .. and that there is no other way it can be ... slave understands its status and that it should be naked and collared ... and must beg forgiveness that it is wearing clothes .. slave knows it should not be wearing anything and in fact does not like any clothing .. slave feels it does not look good in the clothing .. slaves body should not have any covering .. slave knows it can have nothing private .. and its body is owned by Owner so it must be naked to Owner .. and displayed to all that Owner wishes ....  slave understands why the on-cam displays will be done .. slave cannot get out of being on cam .. it must be done as it is ordered ...   slave understands it must obey .. and since it is just chattel it must do as ordered and be obedient .... slave is to be shown off as a slave as if on auction .. humiliation training ... to reduce this slaves mind to feel and be shameless as an animal ..  sinking to that level helps the slave mindset to know it cannot rise up ... it cannot change ... slave is content in the slave it has become .... that as an animal it must exist like an animal .. naked ..this does make sense because an animal does not wear clothes .. ...an animal is naked to the world....  .. and that being naked is the normal state to be in .. slave understands this and accepts the demands of its Owner ...    slave will obey the orders and rules ... and all this is to please Owner .. to be the obedient slave of Owner for whatever whim Owner pleases ...   the way slave is thinking feels 'right'  the feeling of being a slave is the only way this slave can feel 'right' .. and so today slave is happy to be slave to Owner ..   and hopes to always please Owner in its writings ...

5/5/2012 3:41:48 PM: this entry is again from my own thoughts ... this slaves Owner ordered this essay , gave this slave time to think and create it and He has approved it to be posted here ..... The Importance of Having an Owner  as this slave writes this there are many thoughts that go through its mind ..   being a slave  should be a very natural thing to a female because it is in her nature to be submissive and it requires a certain frame of mind .. the way a slave thinks is important to understanding the natural feelings that are inside oneself when being a slave ..   and there as natural as it may be it can become a concern .. a female can't really be a slave all alone ..    a slave is only meaningful if you are property to someone ..   your mind is lost if you are a slave without an Owner  .. the mind frets and doesn't feel right because it's trying to be something its not ..  equal to all others? .. equal to males ?  why does any female that believes she is a slave think she wants to be on an equal level with a male .. but some do ... or certainly think that way ....   i have read these females profiles ..they are the ones that propose (dictate?) the way the relationship should be .. they think they want to be a slave a certain way ... i have read the lines of 'i am a slave but i am looking for a certain kind of master'  here in CM .. i can see it all .. females that list themselves as slaves .. but post how their slavery is supposed to be ... that is not slavery to me ..         you are not a slave until you have an owner ..   giving up yourself to please your Owner is the only requirement     there are three vows that make it simple .. the ones i say each morning .. it does not make me unworthy, useless or any sort of cast away person ...  these vows define my day .. making it easy to obey and follow orders from this slaves Owner ..   i have rules but these vows pretty much help in all things ...          the vows are:  *i am nothing , i deserve nothing and i own nothing*        an Owner can be many things that stabilize the mind of a slave and guide it to a good slave place in the females mind .... and communication helps to mold the mind into something that is pleasing to the Owner ..   the Owner will teach the vows and how they can define the slaves life ... training is continually going on ..  the mind has a tendency to stray from slavery ..    so the Owner is important in reinforcing His ownership and always making sure about the state of the slaves mind .. that it must have the word 'obey' in its mind .. and that it must obey to please its Owner            Simple to say .. sometimes not so simple to make the daily commitment ...     the slave must always be thinking of the vows .. and the Owner must always be thinking about how the slave is obedient and not having its mind stray from understanding she is a slave ....    the interaction and communication always have to be there ..    i am ordered  to write daily emails if possible  about what i am doing , what i am thinking and how i am feeling .. it is necessary for the slave to tell these things to an Owner so the Owner can evaluate what is going on in His property's life ...   then to communicate back to the slave His thoughts about what has been written... the slave knows it is either doing well or needs to improve on things it may have strayed from ...  the importance of an Owner is there to regulate all aspects of His property's life ...   it is not an easy job ...    the need for an Owner is evident .. when a slave thinks too much .. a tendency to think about other ways a slave should feel ..  that should not happen ..  it is the worship and glory of the slaves Owner that need to be thought about ...  sometimes not enough communication between a slave and its Owner happens .. and then the Owner wonders why the slave is being obstinate ... or being disobedient .. the Owner may be neglecting the responsibility of upkeep ....  not coming to the forefront ... it happens .. all know the vanilla life happens ... and sometimes things can fall by the wayside in the interaction between the slave and Owner because of happenings in the vanilla life ...  but an Owner is important to the slave to keep it His slave and must show His dominance with almost daily communication ...  a minute for a email, text or message is all it takes to command the attention of an owned slave so that it is aware it is Owned and monitored ...  .. the importance of the Owner in that display of small attention will help the slaves mind in not feeling neglected .. which is a detriment to the well being of a slave ... where the slave may start thinking of too much negativity ...  an Owner does not want that to happen....  i have found the only word in this mind should be 'obey' .. it keeps a lot of the mind occupied when thinking about being a slave and being obedient to my Owner..           the Owner i have is sincere about this relationship and the importance of his Dominance and daily presence is helpful so that there will never be any thought in this slaves head of any significant importance to myself .. because of my vow . .. i am nothing ...  my status is nil .. the Owner is all important ..  the next vow .. i deserve nothing  ... the importance of an Owner reinforces the fact that a female is a slave nothing more .. doesn't deserve any more recognition just as the slaves of old .... a slave was a slave . period. and the third vow .. i own nothing ...   it is a vow that helps to know there is nothing this slave can call its own .. it is only privileged to use the items in its life ....  and everything it does , thinks , or feels .. is all dedicated to its Owner ...                the importance of an Owner affects a slaves every day life .. in everything it does ...   and the Owner should feel the same way about His life as He owns a slave .. the slave is His property to care for and attend to as any other that He may own ..    if property is neglected or not cared for  ... it fails to function properly .............   and problems begin to show themselves ..  it is very important for a slave to have an Owner ... or it is lost and the slaves mind is in chaos ....   i have seen these slaves on CM because of their views on what they think their slavery should be .................           this slave hopes this view of things helps in some small way ....   respect to all ...   slave pesh 

3/7/2012 5:10:17 PM: this slave sow has to do an entry ..   its Owner found a poem for me to read .. and it chilled me up and down my spine .. it was perfect .. it was as if this slave had written this poem about itself ...   it described me perfectly ..  but it is totally someone elses poem ..   but it must be that we are twins .. because she is thinking the same as this slave is ..   this slave gives all the credit and all the glory of writing this poem ..   and at the same time .. it is describing me and my feelings perfectly ..     if the author of this poem happens to read this .. this slave hopes she will contact me .. and say hello ..  this slave is humbled by her poetry writing ..   because this slave probably could not write a poem as perfect as this ...      Why Be a Slave?by feistyy (bett)There was a time I had all control, to live a life towards a goalTo hold a job, to raise a child, behave as taught and not be wildTo be a woman, strong and smart, to feed the mind but not the heartIt seemed to matter to me then, that all could sure on me dependConduct counts, behave just so, do what's right, they'll never know thatall it brought was stress and pain, never made me happy was all in vain So time went on the struggle grew, between the life and what i knewWas locked inside, the secret place, and never showed upon my faceI couldn't say not quite out loud, that all I needed to be allowedTo bend my knee, to whisper low, to lower my eyes and finally showJust how I shiver and I shook, at Masters voice or just a lookTo wear his collar chains or brand, to serve him with both heart and hand Now is the time I live for me, no more afraid to let me beThe woman slave that buried deep, was never dead but just asleepMy Master found when he did look, that I was lost, so me he tookand showed the way to be fulfilled,my spirit loved, fed & thrilledHe taught me now & teaches still, what I need to learn most wellWe both rejoice and laugh and smile, to see I've made it one more mile This is the way I want to live, to serve, submit and ever giveMy best to him, I owe him much, my heart, my soul and on and suchKind and gentle, firm and strict, my Master helps me be correctTo shape my mind to free my soul, to help me make it to my goalTo be a slave's misunderstood, research it first you really shouldand then you'd see the richness there, the way I need it like the air Its not a life that's easy true, but then what is I'd ask of youBut if we all are true to heart, it must be then the place to startWithin yourself there is a place, where honesty has won the raceand if you find a slave kneels there, don't be afraid just be fairFor only when you let it shine, can you be calm in heart and mindIt is a part of all I do, I know now that its really true The life is hard,the learning long,& discipline comes each time I'm wrongI've faced the truth there is no doubt,this is just what I'm all aboutI need it in my daily fare, to resist and struggle and find it therecalmly applied by Master - friend, who knows just what I need and whenI learn to take what he will allow, do all I can to please somehowAnd know that if I am in vain, he will calmly correct me yet again My Master now I wish to thank, for all he does, for every spank,When I get tired, rebellious, give lip, I know I often feel his whipIts all the life I love and choose, to kiss his feet and lick his shoesSometimes my mind can't understand, why it is I need his firm handIm a woman proud, alive and grown, why cant I make decisions alone?Because you see, I am a slave, his power is something I've come to crave I do not fear the belt or hand, for it only helps me now to standand know myself and limits too, so I can push them make them newMy Master knows his slavegirl well, and has many things that he will tellTo help me through, to ease my way, to challenge me both night and dayI am his slave I wear his chains, and through my tears will say againI wouldn't stop this for the world, I am his, his little slavegirl The lessons here are no more hard than those we learned in the school yardTo mind my manners, to know my place, to honour him with heart and faceto represent my teacher well, to never say 'oh what the hell'I am a slave and one that's owned, I kneel most days here in my homeObedience is a lesson tough, and hard to learn through all the stuffthat clogs the truth and confuses me, and makes it hard for me to see I love my Master, I want to please, and so I live upon my kneesThis is the place that I belong, to bow my head cannot be wrongTo honour him in all I do, to be a slavegirl through and throughIt makes me smile it brings me joy, he values meI'm not a toy The rules he sets for me are best, they set my worries now to restHe is quite strict and sharp and firm, and so its easier for me to learn So in the end I have to say, I need this life and every dayTo know there's limits to my choice, to speak my love in calm clear voiceTo love my Master and his care of me, he touched my soul and made me freeHe owns me now, I am his task, I'm grateful that he let me askHim for his help, wisdom, calm, when things were muddled and always wrongI'm on a path I understand, I'm his slave of heart, his to command.©feistyy (bett) copyright 1997  

11/19/2011 4:26:26 PM: my thoughts ,, my feelings   as of this day november 18, 2011   to me .. this is what being a slave is .. it is a sincere truth to consensually have an Owner .. that guides, trains, orders and uses me the way a Dominant Owner wants to … i will be property .. put where my Owner wishes me to be …i willingly obey my Owner totally to please Him … my mind has accepted this as my fate .. and i  am calm and content to be the slave for my Owner …    i have finished doing my vows this morning .my vows guide me through the day (( i am nothing , i deserve nothing , i own nothing )) i am into consensual slavery .. i have given rights up to obey my Owner and live according to the vows … my understanding of the vows are this .. i am nothing : .. this is not saying i am worthless .. i have talked about this vow in previous journal entry .  i deserve nothing  .. is meaning the slave is always striving to please, always knowing it can do better .. so being obedient should be the most focused on because thinking to receive something for being obedient is folly and since a slave can always do better , a slave deserves nothing …  i own nothing     all that a slave has belongs to the Owner .. this is simply explained ..  a slave begs permission to use things but nothing is owned …saying my prayer Prayer::::  My Supreme Owner, grant me courage and strength of purpose for total obedience. Allow me to serve and grow into your naked slave sow .   Help me to face my fears, embrace the reality of my slavery.     From denial I will follow you in discovery and enlightenment. My worship prepares this naked slave to become part of you.  I ask this with peace and love. while i have kneeled and kissed the floor .. each morning i must do this  .. i follow my slave  rules .. and i worship my Owner devotedly being thankful that i am owned ...  being property is all i need to be .. it is what i was born for .. being drawn towards slavery can only mean that it is something i am supposed to be ..  and through the guidance and control of my Owner .. i have found the contentment in being a slave ..  the content feeling is good ... i am comfortable following all orders and being obedient .. i am comfortable being naked and collared as my Owners slave..   and i am comfortable being shown as owned property to those my Owner wants to show me to ... i will obey my Owner as a slave should ...     my Owner is what makes all my slavery possible ..  .. i am not allowed to make any decisions   decisions are made as my Owner sees fit ... . i am to always ask permissions for everything  .. because i am not allowed to do anything without asking my Owner ... so i am only to think of my obedience ... it is all for my Owner ..  my focus in my life is my Owner and nothing else .. my mind is always putting my Owner first .. because i always have to think of my vows .. and how i must live in this vanilla world ..    it is thinking of my Owner and my vows all the time and then my mind can be calm and without concerns for anything else .. because a slave only has to think of her Owner ... all the rest is secondary .. and with the rules, tasks and orders from my Owner .. my life is very regulated and watched ...  so that my thoughts are in worship and deep devotion of my Owner and i understand that my training and all that i am doing now  are all in my Owners effort to get my mind as close to a real time situation as possible .   my life is that of a slave ... and i realize my Owner is always striving to make it more so that my mind keeps on descending into total slavery ....   I live in the vanilla world . but i am a slave in it .. all the vanilla people do not know i am a slave .. but i serve as one in any way i can think of so that they don’t know i am a slave .. all think i am being extra helpful as i offer myself to do tasks so that the vanilla people don’t have to .. or always help so that their burden is lightened ..  in stores i always stay out of the way of other people .. let others check out first .. allow other people thru doorways first … in cars let them merge in front of me .. or help to let those in driveways to come out ahead of me …  i try to find myself always in the serving mode of a slave .. even tho no one even knows ..  my Owner is pleased that he has put me in this situation ..   ..  (( i do understand that if it were real time .. my life would have no concerns or knowledge of all the vanilla world because i would be home bound .... i would be oblivious to the outside and my Owner would be the focus of my life.... my mind would be empty of everything except my Owner because i would have consensually given up my life to serve as His slave ))