"Nothing is real, until it is happening." - A personal motto for many years.

I call myself Chameleon, because I have an extremely active imagination and a capacity for empathy that allows me to see the appeal in most of the fantasies I read here. Though, of course, some things appeal to me more than others, I enjoy adapting myself to what the submissive/slave is looking for from a dominant as much as pushing them to give me what I want from them and I love inventing new scenarios.

I've been involved in, or on the periphery of the fetish scene since it's early days.

I want to find people who will get to know me, meet me, and then, if we click, to engage in clearly defined contracts of increasing length and decreasing limits.

Conquest of pain: When I do find it masochism in a submissive (and that's nearly every profile on a fetish site like this), I find it turns me on to whatever degree it's desired. The same with a lot of other fetishes. Hence my chameleon name.

Conquest of disgust and inhibition. These areas are strongest leaning. Toilet play, etc. is definitely my 'thing,' and I have conquered my own disgust here completely in a non-submissive context.

I've also greatly deconstructed my inhibitions toward my own gender, but at the time of writing this I am still bi-curious, but determined to find the right submissive/slave male(s).

My Deepest Desire.

Ultimately, after a long period of earned mutual trust, to find those special ones who will enter into longer term contracts of at least a year with me and help me to grow a household composed of a small, select number of bisexual female/male/trans slaves and/or subs/switches who wish to explore the extremes; fully fluid-bonded to myself and one another; living with me, and determined to explore and push their limits. I'm under no illusions this will be easy or quick to achieve.

But, hey, if I only find one of you, that'll do... ;)

(Face picture emailable on request if we get talking.)

Advice For People New And Old

Strange place this. I call this business 'inversion dating.'

In normal interactions, we all automatically employ a process of selective information when we meet people. I don't think there are many people who, upon being introduced at a social function, shake hands and say 'Hi, I'm Mike, I'm a civil engineer, and at the weekend I like to dress up in a rubber nun's habit, and take a good anal fisting from the wife .'

No, we normally tell our deepest kinks and fetishes (if ever) after we've really got to know and trust or even married or moved in with someone. Makes for a lot of miserable situations far as I can tell.

Here, that normal approach is turned on its head. I find that fascinating. But I suspect it makes for a lot of paranoia and a lot of instances of people running scared when things start to get real with a lot of people.

I've been kicking about here and elsewhere for five years on and off with blank profiles, just analysing the place. I finally wrote up my first version of a profile and started talking to people properly just last July.

I see people shout 'fantasist, timewaster, fake,' at each other all the time. I've even had the accusation thrown at me at least once. I've certainly had lots of people pull the plug and vanish or go silent suddenly and without explanation, after long, sometimes very hot, exchanges. It would be the easiest thing in the world to get angry, disappointed, frustrated and start hurling accusations.

I certainly think it's true that a lot of people come on here feeling horny, but really, when it comes down to it, meeting someone with a view to actually forming a relationship and/or experiencing their deepest, darkest fantasies is just too damn scary.

If you know you're just here to mutually fantasise with people in anonymity, explore your sexuality, that's fine, but please, have the courtesy and respect to say so – add 'online only' to your profile. I have the deepest respect for people who do that. If you don't you are indeed a timewaster.

Me? I approach every profile and respond to every approach in the same way, by bearing in mind at all times that all I can be sure of is that there are ten fingers typing on another keyboard somewhere else. I've no idea that a word they say, including their claimed gender and any pictures they put up are in any way true until they prove it. I find treating everything with a bit of healthy scepticism reduces the negative emotional fallout if people suddenly decide, for whatever reason, to stop talking to me.

And yes, there are fakes here. Generally, they are people looking to lead you on and con you out of your hard earned. The site has advice about this. You should read it if you're new here.

So, if you're looking for real world meets, as I am, how do you know you're not talking to a timewaster?

THE RULES

I spent a long time just talking as I said. I must have spoken at length to about twenty people. I have found just three who have proven themselves real and genuine.

Verification.

1. The only way to begin to know that the person you are looking at in a profile picture actually is the person that is typing those messages, is if they provide you (privately, attached to a message is fine; clothed or unclothed, it doesn't matter) a picture of themselves holding up a piece of card with their profile name and a very recent date. Chat for a while, but don't get too drawn in without asking for this, and being prepared to provide it yourself. (must get round to taking my own  – It amazes me that nobody has ever asked)

Note: Did you realise that every profile's pictures can be viewed without logging in by anybody in the world? It's no surprise that people use fake pics or placeholders. If you've put up compromising pics that are you, I suggest you take them down and just send them as private attachments.

2. Voice verification – Organise a phone/Skype/Yahoo or even FaceBook chat – beyond anything else talking to someone is a lot quicker than typing. And you can turn off your webcam and treat Skype as a free phone.

    

Meeting

1. The usual advice, and it's good advice, is to meet in a public place with no intention of going anywhere for any 'fun.' A good idea is to have an alternative plan, so your time isn't wasted if somebody turns out to be a 'no-show.' They may have bottled out at the last moment. They may have been a wind up merchant all along. They may have dropped down dead. Again, you cannot know, so try not to jump to conclusions and be disappointed. However, if they call you begging you to wire them some cash because of some bollocks about not being able to get there without, make sure you use the ripest language as you tell them to fuck themselves.

   Note to the little wolf girl if she's reading - Due to distance a (fully clothed) Skype chat or something similar would have to replace this.
   

2. Advice for subs – If you like the person and decide to have some fun with them, employ 'mental bondage,' first (if bondage is one of your thangs) – In mental bondage, the ropes exist only in your mind, which is a good way of proceeding with someone you don't yet fully trust.

NOTE: There's been a little doubt concerning the survival of this site. Just in case, those interested in me should note i have created a profile on http://kink-key.com under the same name. And there is an old dead profile I could reanimate on f l fe under the name Soolaich. Thanks. x