Collarspace

I have been on these sites for a few years now looking to find the one that is the right fit or match. It honestly doesnt get any easier. In fact, I think the longer you are on these sites the harder it gets especially in the BDSM lifestyle. Its already hard enough to try making a connection with a person online through a computer screen verses bumping into a person on the street or meeting them in a get together function. But for some of us online through a computer is the only option we have and all we can do is hope for the best (which never seems to come). The other thing that makes it hard is that it seems most people today are looking for the quick fix more so than anything that could be long lasting and real. I however am one who is looking something that will be long lasting and real. And me not having that yet isnt from my lack of trying. I have had a couple of good potentials but either a busy daily life with lack of time has gotten in the way or incompatibility to work as a couple.

So what does all this needless banter mean?

It means I am NOT POLY for one. I have no desire to part of a house where there are multiple Doms and numerous subsslaves. I am strictly a monogamous person. I have never really been one good with sharing. I dont want to share my Dom with others nor do I want my Dom to share me with others. At this point I feel that if I cant have my Dom one on one, just me him with no one else in the picture, then I wont be able to fully surrender and submit to him because I wont feel whole with him (if that makes any sense). I guessif I know in the back of my mind that you are not and will not solely be mine then I cant fully relax and let go as I should.

I do have a couple of play partners that I session with from time to time when the need strikes and scheduling works out. So due to that I am not looking to extend my list of play partners. Its hard for me to disconnect emotionally like that with people since I usually wear my heart on my sleeve so to speak, but I have managed to do so with a very select few even though its not easy. Sometimes that line between just friends with benefits and more than FWB can get red when emotions get mixed in.

Having said that I am looking to have the Ds vanilla bfgf relationship together. I am not looking to meet the person one day and the next dayBAMthey are my Dom bf. I know it doesnt work like that. First you must see if the chemistry is there. Without some sort of chemistry you have nothing. From there you have to build on the relationship. Create that bond and build that trust between the 2 of you. Its not an overnight thingit takes time. Trust is not always easily gained. You cant expect the person to instantly trust you when you first start talkingespecially not because you say they can trust you. Which is doubly so when meeting people online. You dont know them, nor do they know you. We are complete strangers to one another when we first meet or start talking whether online or on the street. When you start getting to know each other is when that bond and trust SLOWLY starts to develop. Trust me, I am not looking to meet someone today, be collaredclaimed by them in 2 weeks, move in with them in a month, get engaged in 3 months and then get married in 6 months. NO, NO, NO. I want things to develop at an acceptable pace not warp speed. THOUGH if you cant meet me for a face to face within the first month of talking then I am not interested. Its best to meet within a month of when we start talking to see if the chemistry is there in person or not so we dont waste each others time. Because the more time that goes by the more attached people get to each other and if it doesnt work out then it leads to huge disappointments and hurt feelings. I want to try to avoid that (especially on my end).

I am a BBW as you can tell from my pictures. If that does not appeal to you then move on. I have been working the last few years to get into shape. I have made a lot of progress. I usually walk on my treadmill 4-5 days a week and I usually do an exercise routine 2-3 days a week. I have expanded on that some by trying my hand at jogging which is going okay. Im starting slow with it and hoping to build up. I want to do more like possibly biking. So I am trying to be fit. I would like a person who can join in that with me or at least will help keep me on track with it. I dont want a person who is near my age that has more ailments than I do and complains about them constantly. I feel that type of person will just drag me down with them.

When it comes to my kinks I am pretty Pollyanna compared to most. I am not into any hardcore stuff. My pain tolerance is very minimal. I havent really done any kind of bondage. I would like to expand on that with the right one given time and trust. I have done a lot of evolving over the last few years and I am sure I will continue to evolve. I hope to find a Dom that will help me evolve even more. The thing about the lifestyle I love the most is the mental aspect of it. No matter what you do physically there is always something mental behind it, even when it comes to discipline or punishments. For example, if I was given corner time for being a bad girl I would still get turned on by the act of it despite the fact its meant as a punishment. Does that make sense? Dont get me wrong, that doesnt mean I cant be punished. Its just the mental aspect of it all does turn me on but it doesnt mean that swift hard spanking wont hurt like the dickens because it will. I am a brat. I dont think I am an excessively immature brat. At times though I do like to push a Doms buttons to see how far I can go or what I can get away with. Hell, there are times I am a brat in the sassy smartass way and I am not even trying to be lol. .

The day to day me is usually mother hen. I am a single mother of a young teenage boy. I also live with a MUCH older (by 25 years) sister. Due to that I prefer to keep my involvement in the lifestyle discreet. And living with the older sister doesnt always provide opportunities to play in that sense here at my home. Just depends on the day. I should also mention that I dont drive. Its due to an eye issue that cant be fixed. I dont like it but it is what it is. So because of that I dont look for anyone too far away since they have to travel to meet me. And long distance never works out for me. I am also not an inconsiderate person. I wouldnt look for a person to come see me every week unless they lived within 15-20 minutes from me. I am located about 10 miles outside of Tarboro. That puts me about 25 minutes from Greenville, 25 minutes from Rocky Mount and about 45 minutes from Wilson. I also do not work. THAT DOES NOT MEAN I AM LOOKING A PERSON TO PAY MY BILLS OR SOMEONE TO MOOCH OFF OF. Just because I dont work doesnt mean I dont have my own money but until I know you my finances are not your business.

So if you have read this all the way through then thank you and I appreciate you taking the time to do so. If you have read through this and there is anything you dont like then please move on. I am not looking to play games nor waste my time. If it wasnt clear above then I will plainly state it hereI am not looking for hook-ups or one night stands and I am not interested in anyone who is married or already in a relationship no matter how open the marriage or relationship is. And on a side note, I am looking for someone between the ages 32-48.

If you fit any of the criteria I have described that I am looking for or are into then feel free to message me and we can see where this goes.