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geoOct1st
| Hetero Male, 59, San Marcos, California
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Looking to make friends and help others where i can.
Frustrations increase. The need to serve becomes overwhelming !!!
At the risk of being told i am a do me submissiveslave i feel i need to express a few things.
i have been dabbling in the lifestyle for about 18 years. i am not one to bounce from one person to another, i am committed and loyal to my owner.
i do have a life outside this site and at times it can be very demanding, so understanding and tolerance needs to be included with my commitment. A lot of the time my schedule is very fluid and i am able to move my commitments around in order to serve during the week.
i was owned for a few years and did not pursued any activities other than Her desireswishes, so i am in the process of rediscovering myself. i can share that i do enjoy pering domestic service, being a handy-slave and pampering my owner with massages or personal attentions. I am not one to be emotionless and crave the sensuous and intimate interactions.
The activities i enjoy can vary from the energy i feel from the Dominant, but i do have a few that seem to continuously interest me. i try and con to the Dominants desireswishes, the important activities are those, not mine.
If You have read this far, i figure i havent scared You away.......
my beliefs
The interactions between the Dominant and the submissive are confidential and any sharing with others is at the discretion of the owner. Services pered are defined by the Dominant. (It would be beneficial to know what the basic requirements will be for me as Your servant, so that i may confirm i am able to per to Your expectations) Limits are defined by the Dominant. (Once the trust is established) ** An Alpha when appropriate, but always a slave at heart.
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9/7/2023 10:34:34 AM: True Frustration
Being somewhere you are required to be instead of the place of which your soul needs to be.
6/1/2023 4:46:51 PM: Current state of mind
i have been reminiscing on the choices i made and realizing i have allowed my fears and ego to stand in the way of pursuing my slavish needs. Once again i am in chastity 24/7, trying to feed my need for subjugation. The feeling of servility deepens with each passing day. Thoughts of absolute surrender fill my mind. my frustrations have me in a deep state of desperation and i am unclear on why this time chastity has affected me so deeply. As i look around, i find myself alone, void of any intimate contact. This was not my intention, but it is a product of my choices.
i am trying to accept the predicament i have put myself into. As my servility deepens, i sense i am to be a slave to all, no exceptions. It is difficult to maintain a position of authority when my demeanor is becoming extremely subservient. my chastity journey started as a curiosity. Then it became a way to fulfill my need for subjugation. Now it is my life. i am my own keyholder, yet i can’t unlock myself. It would be easy to do, but my psyche doesn’t allow it. It is like, i don’t have permission, but from who?
Dreams are a powerful influence. my sleep has been restless, filled with dreams of my inadequacies and subjugation. The individual in my dream is familiar, the voice i recognize, but where? They know what to say and do to intensify my feeling of humbleness. They receive pleasure in watching me slowly slip closer to absolute subjugation. Dreams of subjugation continue to fill my sleep, everyday i wake up in a more slavish state.
This has become a cruel spiral of emotions. The more i attempt to feed my need for subjugation, the more my slavish desires intensify, which in turn creates a stronger need for subjugation.
6/2/2022 7:20:37 PM: Reflecting
i sit here in chastity, reminiscing on my past, contemplating the decisions i have made, rationalizing some and regretting others. It is the ones i regret which pierce deep into the soul, humbling the spirit, causing conflict within, creating a helplessness that overwhelms me into a deepening slavishness.
Recollections of disobedience consume my mind, no relief, no escape, an affirmation that i am not perfect.
Is it possible for me to make reparation?
Are there limits or do i kneel quietly and endure whatever is given to me for my disobedience?
geo
1/12/2022 6:21:16 PM: Chastity - Week 95
Today is day 666 of my chastity journey, the 41st day of being locked constantly 24/7. The openness design of this cage allows me to be squeaky clean without removing it. i didn't think the 24/7 constant locking would be so humbling.
Chastity is not always a punishment Chastity can be a sign of adoration Chastity is not always an acknowledgement of inferiority Chastity can be a sign of strength and dedication
As the waves of submissiveness wash over me The longing to serve deepens to serve deepens
12/23/2021 1:55:08 PM: Servitude requires a relationship
How does anyone expect servitude from another without having a realtionship for the foundation of the dynamic?
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