So in responding to someones questions, I realized I could use that ination to flesh out why I'm here to some extent. Lets see if this works.
What are you looking for?
I'm not really sure, honestly. I'm kind of hoping to come across it accidentally. I'm looking for someone within driving distance, who has a job, doesn't do drugs and has his own space for a start. I'm at a point in my life that I'm happy with who I am alone.. and just want someone to make things better :) Other than that, friends to talk to. Someone to play with.
When did you get interested in BDSM?
I found out what bondage and spanking was like in my early 20s. Loved it. Loved being able to stop my brain for a while and just do what I was told. I was in a D/s relationship for a few years, then it went badly at the end, so I decided maybe I wasn't cut out for it. The past 10 yearsish I've just been working, trying to find some stability in my life. Got laid off in a job I loved during the recession crap, so went back to school. Finished that, took care of my mom, and finally was able to move away, find a good job and an apartment I loved. Dated a couple of people since I moved, but when they were not the confident, "I want you and I'm not afraid to say so" or just weren't able to make any kind of decisions on their own, I realized I missed being part of that dynamic. I'm intelligent, able to take care of myself, but I enjoyed taking care of my man, and doing things that pleased him, hearing that from him rather than trying to figure it out on my own. I can have issues with my own self confidence at times, and it was easier to overcome them when I was with a dominant. Wow, I'm babbling. Oops!
The mental aspect (something.. don't remember the actual question)
Yes, the mental aspect of the power exchange is what I crave more than the physical. Don't get me wrong.. I love the rope, floggers, toys, playing, etc etc.. but if its just kinky sex or "clean my house" its just not going to work. I want to be with someone I can admire and feel challenged by, who's not afraid to discipline me when I'm smart mouthed, cause I know I do that .. sometimes just to see if he's paying attention. Thats probably the best part of being in a D/s relationship.. you *know* you're not being taken for granted.. that yes, you may be doing everything you can to make him happy.. but he's going to notice, cause he's just as focused on you as you are on him. It may just be a stroke of the hair, but its there.
Alright.. that doesn't look too bad. If nothing else it proves I can stream-of-conscious write lol.
