12/6/2015 7:39:54 AM:  Feel Free To Ask Me A Question:But also spend time learning about yourself. What makes you tick? In other words, what do you want in a prospective Dominant? What do you have within you that you can offer to him? What are your limits, both hard and soft? And what is it that draws you to this lifestyle? These are questions that will take some time for you to answer but it will help you guide you as well.

12/6/2015 7:11:50 AM: Please Read This Important Message:On this social website there are many profiles saying they are or want to be a slave. Many seem to think that one attains this simply by stating 'I am a slave'. However few realize the lengths one needs to go to be worthwhile in this endeavor. I believe that few can ever reach this level of submission. For this reason, I believe it is one of the more extreme choices one can make.The first thing is Total Power Exchange:In a true Master/slave relationship, all power resides in the hands of the Master (Mistess). This is unequivocal. The slave retains no rights whatsoever. When opting for this structure, one is agreeing to give all control over to the other. He or she simply becomes another piece of property to be used as the Master sees fit. Whatever the decision, it is up to her to follow and obey. Each task needs to be completed to the best of her ability. I encounter so many who are ready to agree to this idea. However, they usually are the ones who believe they are online slaves. M/s cannot occur online. It is impossible to serve via the Internet. Another fundamental quality of M/s is that a slave is there to serve. Her position is to do things that make her Master's life easier. It is not for her to co-dictate what transpires. If that were the case, the breakdown of power would be split. This is not what occurs in M/s.The second thing is Service:This is another point that is lost when talking with these slaves. They totally overlook the fact that their entire existence, if they are true slaves, is to serve. Many state they are sex slaves only. Therefore, they do not tend to the chores that require attention. There service is in the bedroom only. Once again, this is incorrect. While many domination/submission relationships are structured this way, it is not one of Master/slave. Instead, it is another form of D/s. The submissive is a sub as opposed to a slave. The reasoning is she retains some rights and say so over her life. A slave does not enjoy this luxury. Slavery means that you do whatever is required of you. Your service is based upon the needs of the Master, not your own. Let me further explain if you were my slave....................my slave would be ironing clothes before she heads off to work. Part of her service to me is earning income which is turned over to me to lighten any financial burden. She is also responsibile for all household chores. Finally, she is the one who runs the different errands that I need handled such as going to the grocery store or paying the light bill. These are activities that I need completed which fall to her as my slave.Notice how my sexual needs are not even mentioned. I can tell you this is a part of her service but not her main calling in life. Like anyone else, I have a life outside the bedroom. Therefore, I have responsibilities which I turn over to her for completion. In each situation, I expect her to finish the required task unless there is a viable reason why it cannot be.Last but not least Online Slavery:To me, online slavery is nothing more than role playing. As mentioned, service is a vital component to any M/s situation. That being said, I fail to see how one can serve another while online. From what I have seen, online M/s becomes a cam session with sex being the only criteria for submission. In fact, other than having one masturbate for you, what else can she accomplish online? How can she do your laundry, clean the house, run errands, or pay bills? The answer is that she cannot. Online becomes a way for people to assume certain roles. That is all. One side note on this idea, online can be a beginning of a real time M/s relationship. Therefore, some training can occur in terms of making a slave aware of the expectations that one will have. Testing her with tasks such as writing or mailing you things is a terrific way to see her commitment. However, this is not to be mistaken for a true M/s situation. Many will tell there Master they are following his orders while simply ignoring the request. And, even if she is found out, what is he to do. The bottom line is so much fraud is present in the online BDSM world because it is so easy to mimic reality. Anyone can read a few blog posts then proclaim to be anything he or she wants. In the end, truth is based upon the word of the other person. Sadly, this often lacks much integrity. I heard of one woman who has 18 Masters at the same time. I am certain at least a few of them believed she was real. How mistaken they are.

9/25/2015 9:22:09 AM: A Good Dominant:I have talked to many submissive's and I hear a reoccurring theme from many of them. The Dominant they are seeing expects them to do whatever it is the Dominant wants right from the beginning. The Dominant doesn’t feel he/she has to do anything except be the Dominant. This is wrong in more ways than I can express. A submissive happens to be a person first. They are individuals that happen to be submissive by nature. A Dominant is also a person first. This is something they need to always remember. If the Dominant can remember this, he will be a much better Master. By recognizing that all are people first, with all the weaknesses a person has, the Dominant will be in a better position to command respect and loyalty from the submissive.A Dominant must realize the submissive has thoughts, feeling and even fears. A Dominant must understand that respect and loyalty must always be learned. This isn’t something that should ever change. When a submissive offers herself to her Dominant, it isn't an excuse to change. If anything, it should strengthen his resolve to become even better. A Dominant must learn how to listen. Anyone can hear words, but it is a skill to listen. Not only does it make it easier in establishing the communication we so desperately need in this lifestyle; it shows the submissive that the Dominant is concerned about his submissive. To not allow the submissive some freedom to express herself and then if one doesn’t listen; one is only creating something doomed to failure.The Dominant must be willing to work to maintain the relationship. He must be willing to set the example. He must show the submissive what honor and integrity are.  A Dominant must understand he too has weaknesses. He is not perfect although he may wish his submissive to believe he is. The sooner he loses the “God” complex, the better off he will be.A Dominant must be willing to accept all submissives are different. What one enjoys doesn’t mean another will. Each one has differences in thoughts, limitations and tolerances. Throw away the book because it doesn’t work. If a Dominant truly wants to have loyalty, he will treat every submissive as an individual. They will see this in the Dominant and it will create even more respect for him. I would also suggest a Dominant learn how to respect a submissive. There are many things that a submissive does for her Master that others would not. He needs to appreciate that fact. The submissive does much better under an atmosphere of respect and guidance rather than one of fear.Should a Master force a submissive into doing something she doesn’t want to just in order to please the Dominant? Of course not. The Dominant should encourage, challenge and push but never force. The Dominant needs patience in this area. If he can practice patience, 90% of what he enjoys will be fulfilled in the future. A submissive must be allowed to grow at a pace in which she can handle different things. To throw so much at her before she is ready is uncalled for mental cruelty. A Dominant should not be cruel. He should be firm and consistent.The Dominant should never want to punish his submissive. A Dominant needs to be aware of that if he has to punish his submissive; the odds are he made a mistake in her training. If she needs to be punished, make the punishment fit the crime. Do not look to punish your submissive. No one is perfect and if one looks for a reason to punish, they will find one. Once again, punishing someone just for the sake of punishing is cruel. It is also a sign of weakness in the Dominant. A Dominant needs to understand what his own desires and needs are. He needs to understand what he can or cannot accept from a submissive. If the Dominant enjoys Golden Showers and there is no way the submissive would ever enjoy it, why does he want the submissive? If the compatibility factor is not there, why pursue someone? That is only ego and has no place in this lifestyle. Too mush ego only harms others. Confidence is a great thing, but ego is not. A Dominant always needs to maintain control of himself. Never punish, when the need does arise, out of anger. Anger is another thing that only causes harm. Let the submissive know and understand why she is being punished. How can a submissive learn from a mistake if she is unaware of what the mistake was? A punishment should be used in order to teach, not to cause harm. A Dominant needs to have the submissive understand his rules. How just is it to punish someone when they are not even aware of what they did that caused the punishment? To the Dominants I have heard of that tell a submissive to figure out the rules, I say this; you are idiots and pretenders. Do not be afraid to spell out your rules. If one knows themselves and knows what they want and need, it isn’t hard to do.I realize there are those that only wish to have play partners. This is true on both sides. What I write about is for those that wish to attempt something that will last for more than a month. I have had success and failure myself. This will be true for everyone. What I stress is the work it will take to attempt the avoidance of failure. For those that do only want a play partner here and there, please don’t think of yourself as lifestylers. This advice is for those that do live this, not play at it once in a while. I can’t claim to know all the answers and what does work for me and those that do follow my guidelines won’t work for everyone. I do know that every Dominant that does work at it and is never satisfied with his own knowledge, will have a greater chance of succeeding in a relationship than one that only does the minimum. It is that way in everything that happens.

5/8/2015 4:42:16 PM: Just Helping Out A Few True Slaves/Subs: What To Look For In A Dominant Or Master. Honesty and transparency.He answers any question you pose, shares things you should know unprompted,and hides nothing about his life.He's willing to discuss previous relationships in detail,and doesn't blame breakups mostly on the ex-partners.Has tried kink and craves more. He wants kink for how it makes him feel, not just because you want it. He's not conflicted about it. Vanilla chemistry. You like each other as people, not just as kink providers! He likes you as much as you like him. He doesn't pull you into D/s dynamics until you get familiar with each other.Compatible life patterns and goals. Some subs, and doms, are more adaptable than others. But in general, chemistry is not enough; you need basic alignment in schedules, habits, needs for solitude & attention/affection & kink/sex, and social patterns.Vision and clarity. He has a picture or plan for the future of the relationship. He sees possible paths from the present to that place, and makes the current path clear to his sub. Emotional sophistication. He's aware of his own feelings and issues, and able to discover and understand yours. He can ask for help when he needs it and lend help when you ask. He's not easily angered or hurt, but will promptly and calmly tell you when he is. He'll call you on your stuff, and allows you to call him on his.Dedication to self-development. He's constantly working on himself especially emotional and social skills. He's at peace with who he is, but isn't complacent. He learns from his mistakes. Curiosity and fascination. He's profoundly interested in you, and your dynamics together, and the aspects of himself that you enable him to explore. Intuition and empathy. He's good at reading you, and eventually predicting your likely responses in key moments. He communicates his insights about you. He has a sense of how you feel, which impacts his own mind-state. Humility and confidence. He knows his weaknesses and vulnerabilities. He knows his strengths. He takes risks wisely. He doesn't mistake authority for knowledge and understanding. He owns it when he's at fault or has failed. Sets limits and pushes limits. One point of D/s is redefining both partners' boundaries, emotionally and physically. A dom guides this process, both by setting beneficial restrictions on his partner, and working to dismantle barriers she may have towards him. Patience and flexibility. He's willing to invest the time and care necessary for a deep relationship. He knows you're not superhuman. He can take 'no' for an answer when necessary. He can devise or embrace alternate routes to his objectives. Appreciation and encouragement. He conveys to you how good he feels with you. He celebrates your talents and accomplishments. He doesn't criticize you unfairly or needlessly. He urges you to pursue your interests, to hone your strengths, to address your weaknesses.Financial stability. He has his own living space. His debt to income ratio is manageable.  Cares for himself. He's sensible about nutrition, sleep, exercise, grooming, clothes, car, etc. If you find a gent with all of the above qualities, and he's into you, be willing to bend over backwards and forwards for him daily. He's a rare find!

4/6/2015 12:49:53 PM: What Type Of Submissive Are You? There Are Many Levels And Versions Of Submission.One way to ensure a good BDSM relationship is to be up front in what you want during play time, personal service and sexual service. State what your desires and needs are and there will be a lot less mistakes. Dominants are not mind readers. Be clear on your limits. Some submissive's only submit in sexual scenes and not in the rest of their lives, while others give over their entire life to a Dominant. Some subs only want to be servant subs with no sexual acts ever taking place. The Conceptual Submissive:  This submissive is one that learns everything they know about submission from romance or erotica books and the internet. This submissive will normally only become an online sub or slave and try to administer advice to others with no real experience or concept of what BDSM is. They usually live a vanilla life outside of the cyber world. The Mental Submissive:  The mental submissive begins his or her submission in their mind. This person is submissive in and out of the bedroom. They generally have a need to submit or surrender to a Dominant. The act of submission is all mental but can also consist of physical. She can give as much or as little as they wish to or need to give. The surrendering is the power exchange. Once the surrender occurs, they can become an empty vessel for the Dominant to mold in whatever image They wish. Love is not required, as this is a mental submission. The Romantic Submissive:  This type of submissive wishes to surrender everything, without becoming a slave. In comparison with the mental submissive, a romantic submissive craves the love of the Dominant they submit to. The act of submission is full of emotion and love. They give all they have for the return of love and trust from the Dominant they serve. The Bedroom Submissive: This type of submissive is Vanilla in every facet of their life or even Dominant, but when the bedroom door shuts, the roles drop and they submit to the Dominant. The bedroom is where the power exchange happens and stays. This submission is almost always sexual in nature. In the bedroom, the act of submission is complete. But, when the bedroom door is open, the bedroom submissive returns to the vanilla world or role. The Servant:   This type of submissive is only interested in serving a Dominant. This submissive typically does not include sexual activities. They run errands, clean the home, run a Dominant's calendar or arrange meetings for the Dominant. This type of submissive satisfies their submissive needs by doing things for other people. This is a very special type of submissive. The Sex Slave: This submissive is in this Lifestyle for sex, with one person, many people, or in any way that can be imagined. This person rarely has any limits when it comes to sex and will allow a Dominant to use pain as a method of arousal and release, with little or no cautions. This submissive cannot imagine any punishment worse than being locked in a chastity device or not given permission to masturbate or have sexual release. The Slave: Unlike a submissive, a slave must surrender completely and be completely controlled by a Master. The slave must feel completely owned. They can become a different person when a Master trains them to serve Him/Her in whatever way they prefer. When Master is happy, the slave is happy. They feel most complete when with a Master. The slave beams when s/he brings Master pleasure. The SAMs:  These are 'Smart Ass Masochists'. They deliberately misbehave all the time so the Dominant will punish them. These types of subs are frowned upon in the BDSM community. Most people feel these subs are too weak to honestly ask for what they want. At times, they can provoke real anger without thinking how their behavior can affect the Dominant. The Dominant may then lose control and do actual harm to the SAM. They feel great remorse in losing control and can lose confidence in their Dominant abilities. The Attention Seeker:  These types of submissive's are the ones that always do things to seek attention from other submissive's and Dominants alike. They post status updates on web sites that try to make you feel sorry for them, post lots of pictures of themselves in various states of undress, not because they are proud of their bodies but from the need to receive good comments to make validate their efforts, and are generally very whinny. These kinds of submissive's are mostly found in cyberspace and are generally frowned on by real life BDSM practitioners. The UBER Submissive: This person believes they are the ultimate, uber submissive. They think no one can come close to their knowledge, level of submissiveness, or training in protocol. They believe they are a step above all other subs and slaves. These people are generally not real submissive's. They tend to read books and articles about the Lifestyle, may even submit to a Dom, but generally have no experience and don’t know what to do with book knowledge in real situations. They also do not have the need to submit internally and only want to do it for the experience.Now, these are the different types of subs/slaves that I use to categorize. Don't forget that you may not fall into just one area, but several. You also may not agree with my deions. But hopefully, this will give you a broader understanding of the different levels of submission and the many forms it can come in.