Hi, mysterious profile reader. Or better yet, non-mysterious one...
I have non-masked pictures handy should someone want them - this seems like a good balance between showing I exist and protecting my privacy.
So, I'm rewriting this after what seems far too long. I've been looking for a while now, even branching out into (-gasp-) the real world and meeting a few awesome people in the process. What I'm actually looking for seems to be incredibly rare, though so:
What I'm looking for
Anything I really want starts off vanilla, really. I would like to feel comfortable with someone before going further. That said, I would like something that progresses to a female-led relationship. Not necessarily TPE, but some sort of 'last say' arrangement. Always vanilla in public, though.
Most of all I want someone to be devoted to. I find I naturally express attraction for someone by letting them take the lead, little bits of control over me. It might be a long shot, but the ideal partner would both see and happily receive that since I also see someone's wanting control over me as their attraction to me.
Ramble 1 is now out of the way. Ramble 2 is entitled:
Things I enjoy
I'll start with vanilla-me so as to not appear too crass. In short, I'm a massive geek. I love reading (the Malazan world keeps pulling me in and Patrick Rothfuss is amazing), gaming (mostly RPGs and the like, though nothing terribly new) and quiet time. I also sing, cook, and run far more than is probably good for me. And yes, that makes no sense. I'm working on making sense more often (that was a total lie). I also interrupt my own thoughts with my own other thoughts. Oh, plus nature, hiking and camping, that sort of thing. (It annoys me my hobbies are all terrible ways to meet people.)
What people are probably more interested in, the kinky side - specific interests can be seen to the left (I think), but the why:
I especially love the psychology behind kink. To start with I'm a very mind-over-body person so I'm fascinated by the times when the body overrides the mind in one way or another - prolonged orgasm denial being one good example, or pain being another.
On that note, I'm not terribly masochistic (just a tad), but sane-sadism is always sexy as hell. I appreciate sadism as a "Look how hard he's pushing himself to please me", but less so as a "He's definitely going to deal with (insert painful activity here)."
Another serious bit of kinky-me is feeling vulnerable/open to whatever should go through my dominant's mind. So bondage, obviously, and CFNM is an interesting fantasy, in a sort of objectification sense. I'm pretty comfortable with my body (see the above mention of running) but permanent and unbalanced vulnerability is still scary.
Emotional vulnerability probably falls under this too; this is the most personal part of my life that I'd be sharing. I didn't realise that there was such a thing as a "praising" kink until recently, but I most definitely have it. This is a part of my personality and it feels utterly fantastic when someone values me more for it. I'm not very good at showing that it means so much to me, but it's something I'd like to work on should I find someone amenable to it.
Finally, I also make toys, a picture of which should be on my profile somewhere. Feel free to ask for pictures of me as well. Fair warning, I am likely to be pulling a face. Unless I'm trying to impress you. But please don't notice that I'm trying to impress you; I'll just get embarrassed...