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If I had to describe myself in a single word, I would say 'caring'.  I realize a lot of p
Valarian
Male Dominant, 40,  Bowling Green, Ohio

 

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 Valarian

 Dominant Male

 Bowling Green 

 Ohio

 5' 10"

 140 lbs

 40

 Caucasian

 09/13/11

 04/24/18

Actively Seeking:

Submissive Female

Friends Only

If I had to describe myself in a single word, I would say 'caring'.  I realize a lot of people describe themselves as such, and quite possibly it is the most common self label given in a profile, but none the less I think the word applies to me in a special sense.


 


I care about people.  People I know, people I don't, people I like, and people I don't like.  I'm not a very social or friendly person unless you know me, but no matter who you are it is my nature to care about your well being.  I'm not on a crusade to change the world from the outside in, but I like to think I can change the world for one person at a time, a little bit at a time.  When someone is depressed, I stay by them.  I remind them that if they're feeling blue, that's OK because blue is my favorite color.


 


I would like to meet someone who could love me for this since, of all my traits, this one is the least likely to change.


 


I am a child at heart.  I get older and older, but I like the same things I always have.  I am extremely idealistic and I not only remember those cheesy 80's cartoon values, I strive to uphold them through my own actions.  I still have some toys, I like cute things, and I have a great imagination.  I find myself interested in many aspects of the little girl dynamic because of the youthful idealism, imagination, and style of dress that implies.  I'm a ruffles and ribbon kind of guy instead of the usual leather and vinyl.  I like foofy skirts, mary jane shoes, lolita fashion, and everything cute.


 


My dominant side is one that manifests only for someone I care for.  I am not the 'alpha male', and I have never had an interest in throwing my weight around without purpose simply to be in charge.  I'm asocial and would not bother having someone do for me what I can do for myself.  With someone I care for, and am affectionate with, this is different.  From that person, and that person only, I would permit and appreciate service.  I would let them serve me so that I could be the best person for them that I can be.  For that person, I would be willing to give instruction so that they could be the best person they can be.  I would do it because, while I care about everyone, I would care about this person much more. 


 


Dominance to me isn't whips, floggers, or a lifestyle that is the same for everyone across the board.  For me, dominance is the freedom and responsibility to do what is right, and to do my best for those who have put their faith in me.  The perseverance to walk a path of my own choosing for the good of those who have, in turn, chosen to follow me.


 

Journal Entries:
3/13/2013 10:15:09 AM

Another silly sounding Japanese song that brings me a bit of happiness.  There's no deep meaning here.  It just sounds like fun.  ^^

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HlPYf75uTLg


2/28/2013 9:27:59 AM

Please, if you're going to send me a message, put some thought into it.  Sometimes I can get around a short message if a person has a nicely written profile, but for most of you this isn't the case.

 

I'm not lusting after women.  I won't chase you down and make you talk to me.  If you want to grab my attention and keep it, show me you're making an effort.  Showing effort isn't necessarily writing a long message, but taking the time to write the best message you can.

 

I'm not in a hurry.  If it takes you a few days to get back to me I'm not going to explode or send you any nasty notes.  I didn't sign up to spread negativity or to get attention by making people feel bad, and I'm not going to do that to you.

 

If you truly agonize over every word and can't manage to send more than a few sentences, I will treat every word dearly, but do let me know you're trying.


2/16/2013 7:16:56 PM

Since I am more or less trying to learn how to draw silly things to amuse my potential significant other, there is a chance that I will randomly send people some corny drawing if something in their profile strikes me as cute.  They are, however, genuinely drawn by me and each one is unique.  If I just zipped off the same doodle to everyone it wouldn't count as practice, and I wouldn't be learning anything.


12/6/2011 12:21:13 PM

Think we're a match?  Take this pointless test!

Can you listen to this entire song without thinking there's something seriously wrong with me for thinking it's awesome?

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1HjGNouDgQI


12/5/2011 2:39:04 PM

I was going to put this into my profile, but like a square peg in a round hole, it just doesn't seem to fit anywhere without a rewrite.  Here's the evidence I'm too lazy for that right now.

 

To people I meet, I don't come across as very dominant.  I'm no "alpha male" and if I find the genie's lamp, I'm not wishing to be one.  It's enough to make people (and myself, sometimes) wonder why I've made a profile on a kinky dating site full of fraudsters.

 

For starters, strangers are entitled to a certain degree of respect, no matter who they are.  You may be willing to forgo that respect, but I don't know that and making an arrogant assumption is not my style.  If you want to be treated a certain way you're going to have to let me know.  If it pleases me to do so, I will execute your request.  If it doesn't, I'll politely tell you so.

 

The 2nd issue is that I tend to distance myself from people in general.  As part of this function I do not ask anything of anyone whom I do not know and like.  Getting to know you takes time.  Weather I like you or not depends on your openness, honesty, reliability, and effort, for the most part.  Of course, there are a myriad of other factors, but these weigh in the most.

 

A 3rd reason I might not come across as dominant is that it's something I only find enjoyable when it involves the person who holds my heart, and I'm pretty stingy about giving it away these days.  The execution of a command has value in proportion to the amount of love I can see put into it.  I can't stress enough that I'm looking for someone I can love.

 

Lastly, I don't tread deeply into particular fetish territory.  I don't like blanket statements like "You must do/be XYZ".  People are more complicated than that.  I especially don't want to exclude a person who can't do something because they're crippled, or have some other health condition that prevents them from doing something or another.  The important thing to me is that I find someone willing to do everything they can.  If a person feels regret over what they can't do for me, then I take in those feelings and turn them into warmth, because that regret is an expression of their love for me.



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