2/15/2016 9:32:35 PM: Please note this was an email sent by my soon to be son in law to my daughter! Not that I have fallen in love True love exists even in this realm. Here I offer proof. Though it requires no labels, no pomp nor circumstance. She is in control and he dutifully follows. He is her champion, her knight in shining tin foil. For them this works. I've never been happier as a Mother than tonight as I read this missive from his heart to hers. Cerenity, ​That word has a whole new meaning to me. My Serenity is spelled with a C, and I never imagine it spelled any differently. Serenity is something that many search for throughout their lives, and to my greatest surprise- while it’s not entirely in the way many imagine it- I wake up every day with Cerenity in my heart. ​If you had told me five years ago that my true love would act like a cat, and treat me like her best female friend, I would have thought it to be an elaborate joke. In truth I didn’t even realize that this is what I wanted. I didn’t even realize that a relationship like this existed. I didn’t know Cerenity, as I do know. ​I thought that I was being myself around other people. I thought that trying to be tough, and protective, and acting like a guy was not only what girls wanted, but what I wanted. I thought that’s what the world was. I was so convinced that I had to be something, that I myself believed I was that person. ​I saw the world in full-color, but when I looked at myself I was seeing black and white; and at the time I didn’t even realize it. Guys were supposed be big and strong, and impress the girls. Straight guys, were- well straight right? ​If I was trying to make amends with someone else, I couldn’t allow myself to fall in love. If I wanted to be a good guy, I couldn’t find someone attractive, or have a crush on her… But I did all of those things. ​The first time we talked, you became my best friend. The first time you called me on the phone, you acted like you liked me; you acted like you cared. You didn’t wait three days, or play any sort of games. You didn’t make me say any magic words. It wasn’t up to me… It was up to us. ​I didn’t know what this was. I didn’t know girls like you even existed. I didn’t know that anyone other than myself believed in being straight, forward and not following some sort of rules system when it came to dating. ​The more I talked to you the more I fell in love with you. The more we talked, the closer we became. You were my best friend. Through everything it took for me to figure out that I actually loved you, you continued to talk to me the same way. ​You supported every relationship I had along the way, you talked with me through everything. Soon you found someone else and I thought I had missed my chance… that’s when I realized that I truly did love you… ​Even through that we remained best friends. You didn’t talk to me differently, like your boyfriend would get jealous. If he got jealous of anything, you would have told me that was his problem; that we’re friends. ​All of that ran its course. ​Finally, you just told me we were dating. Before I asked your mother’s blessing as is custom in your family, before I asked you to date me, before I even had a chance to come up with some romantic plan… we were dating. It was so matter of fact. ​I loved you… and you loved me… So we’re together. That’s the way it should be. No games, no beating around the bush. Just best friends, in love, being what we’re supposed to be. ​Together. ​Suddenly as I spent more and more time with you, I found that I was being myself more than I had ever thought possible. I thought I was myself before, but I didn’t show emotions. I thought I was being true to who I was, but I acted like men were “supposed to act.” ​With you I could cuddle. With you I could ask for a hug, I could cry, I could confess reasons that I was hurting even if they had nothing to do with you and made absolutely no sense. ​I spoke your language. I spoke your personal, made up, truthfully autistic language; cataneese. I spoke it in front of people. We talked the way we wanted no matter who was looking at us, like we were best friends. We didn’t finish each other’s sandwiches because that’s just annoying, but we didn’t have to finish sentences to know what we were talking about. ​I tore the wall down. I stopped trying so hard to be the way guys were supposed to be and acted the way I felt. I let my feminine side out, and you hugged it like a puppy, and have never let go since. ​Without you, without my Cerenity, I wouldn’t know what it means to be myself. I’ve discovered more about who I am, and who I needed to stop convincing myself to be in the past five years than I had in the 18 BC (Before Cerenity). ​You aren’t my whole world; you are my serenity. You made me be me. And you were you. ​Maybe if I learned these things without you I would be different, but it doesn’t matter because what happened next was even more incredible. ​Slowly, we just became one. I rubbed off on you, and you rubbed off on me. We talked through issues instead of fighting and breaking up. We wanted to be together, so we TRIED to be together. We didn’t change each other in a bad way. We voluntarily met in the middle. We didn’t become one by going to bed together, but by being each other around each other. ​We don’t do everything together, but it’s like you’re always there. When you can be there, you are; at least when you’re interested. Same goes for myself. ​We must be the most annoying couple in the world to single people because you just can’t have Christian without Cerenity; it’s impossible. ​It’s crazy. You encourage me to be who I am. You encourage me to cuddle into you and watch My Little Pony, or play videogames. You never ask me to leave the room or stop playing a game you truly dislike, as long as I make time for you. ​I never knew that true love was cuddling on the couch, making un-sloppy joes, and meowing at each other like cats. I never knew that love could be this warm, and pure, and comfortable. I never that my best friend would still act like she was my best friend- like absolutely nothing has changed between us and how we talk to each other- when she became my girlfriend. ​I was looking over to you as I wrote this in my head, and I thought; “I’m sitting here watching youtube, with the girl of my dreams next to me on the couch. We don’t have to cuddle to know we’re in love. We don’t have to cling to each other- though we choose to- to know we’re together. This; just this… just sitting next to her, pestering her, and watching random things on the internet. This is the perfect day.” ​I never wanted to leave… ​I want every day to be like today was. I want every day to be this comfortably in love. I am so secure in being with you, that even miles apart I know you’re right here. Yet one day, I hope we’re no longer miles apart on a regular basis. ​These last five years have been one crazy, amazing, and grand adventure. I’ve leveled up a lot, changed around some stats… I’ve learned more about my character class, and speced myself to work well with you. I’m writing in nerd and you still get it, HOLY ARCERUS THIS IS AMAZING!! ​These last five years have been amazing, and they’re only the beginning. One day… one day soon… I look forward to making our engagement official. One day I hope to marry you. One day I hope to live in the same house and have every day be like our valentine’s day was. ​I want to continue on this adventure, with you as my partner, wherever the road takes us. You are my Cerenity; and marrying you is the greatest quest I’ve ever accepted. The next quest? Well, let’s make a promise to take it on together! ​I know it’s a bit late to ask, but will you be my player 2? My valentine? ​Will you help me conquer our dreams together, lay siege to a castle to make it our own, find the ring of betrothal, and once we’ve finished the quest share the plunder in our grand fortress? Will you please continue this quest with me? I need Cerenity if I wish to gain strength… As long as you’re here with me, I know we can find a way to slay the dragon of marriage expenses, and the witch of insurance lake. I love you always and forever, Your valiant Silver knight… PS: This totally isn’t tin foil armor. It’s a masterwork +2 against alien mind control. Believe me, I’m not crazy.

2/12/2016 9:54:00 AM: One more hour of drive time to 72 hours of much needed Me Time!

6/21/2015 5:03:05 AM: Good morning world A light mist has settled over the area which makes me smile. What an eventful week this one has been I must say! The impossible took a chance and walked right past me. I was smart enough to reach out and take hold making the impossible my reality. The constant smile has yet to leave my face and I am content to simply let it remain. I've had two nights this week where I felt out of sorts physically, last night with a migraine and a few nights ago when my MS simply wiped the floor with me. Today being what it is I have agreed to make homemade chicken enchiladas and Spanish rice for my brood. To take a line from Mine... The glove to my hand... Fits ever so well and complements me ever so sweetly. So today I will put Smike.DK on pandora and Dance around the kitchen while preparing dinner. Hugs to all Miss Bella

6/15/2015 7:54:48 PM: Tonight I am compelled to say many things. Things perhaps hard for me to say and admit. Tonight I let go. Tonight I give thanks. Tonight I finally say goodbye to your memory. It's been five long yet fast moving years. So I will start this as I feel I should. Thank you for teaching me about myself, about love, about misplaced trust, and about life. Five years ago a few months past I placed my collar around your neck. I did not realize how little I knew about love until I met you. I allowed you into the shadows of my soul and learned to love with a fiery passion. I would have given my last breath to save you harm. I would have given the beating heart from my chest to save your life should it have been needed. Thank you for letting me grieve the passing of my child. You held me as shuddering sobs wracked my body. You helped me breathe when I thought it impossible. So I must thank you from the bottom of my heart. You also lied to me. You destroyed me to my very core. You were nearly the death of me. Yet I must thank you and move on. You see because of you I walked away from this lifestyle. I doubted myself as a person, as an empath, as a Domme. So tonight I will thank you. Tonight I will do what is hardest for me... I will forgive you without answers. I will wish you well and pray you find happiness. Tonight I will do for me and remove the negativity. The black poison that stains my soul, shake free of its binding and look with bright eyes to the future. I can not say I will never think of you again, as I will not lie to myself or anyone else. Yet I can say with certainty that these memories will no longer cause me pain, will no longer haunt me, will no longer stop me from being Me. An amazing Domme, an amazing woman, an intuitive empath, and a butterfly emerging from its cocoon. I have purged you from my life. All photos, all mementos, all reminders. I am back. Ready to see where this journey takes me. Goodbye and be well James Michael May your journey be blessed Miss Bella

6/10/2015 11:11:14 PM: Tears bathe my cheeks as yet again I wake from the same nightmare. One more night and Mercury retrograde will be over. This too shall pass. Ten out of eleven nights is excessive. Is it Friday yet? I need to immerse myself in water, block the emotions of the world and simply breathe. Off to attempt sleep again. Miss Bella