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(Who I Am) I am a kinky academic and gamer currently residing in Iowa, but Ive lived in many parts of the country, so if you think you remember chatting with me when I lived in some other state, well, youre probably right! Im quite intense in all elements of my life, including kink. Im quite fortunate to live with two wonderful, adorable and cuddly subs (including my husband of 9 years) who take very good care of me.
I of course realize that few subs will be into everything I enjoy, and I respect that. I individualize my Dominance to each sub I work with. With that caveat, here are a number of things I get into.
(Control) As a SIR, my central interest is in control of all kinds. There is almost no element of a subs life I do not relish controlling, including minutia like controlling outfits and diet. As such, I fetishize things like sets of rules, imposing structure. Im fond of protocols that instruct a sub both in the correct way to speak and to present himself to me physically, and I tailor these to each sub to emphasize the role I have chosen for them. Teaching a sub to groom and position their body in exactly the way that pleases me most is deeply satisfying. As Ive grown more experienced, my desires in this category have only grown stronger, and my biggest fascination now is with exploring TPE slavery as a dynamic.
(Discipline) Punishment and reward are natural complements to control, structure, and rules, and are an essential part of holding a sub to a high standard. Discipline shows a sub that I really do care about and notice his behavior, and am willing to invest the time and effort in helping him improve. Discipline is always accompanied by a lecture, where I explain what the sub did wrong, and how they can do better in the future. Discipline methods vary, but those I have found most effective include CP, wall time, and line writing.
(Chastity) The most foundational of the control available to a Dom, and the one I very rarely work without, is chastity the tight control of a subs orgasms. Chastity devices are very sexy, and I often use them. I am particularly fond of small devices which stop a sub from even becoming erect. However, my key interest is in the control of orgasms, and I expect a good sub to behave whether they are locked in a device or not. The lengths of time that I have made subs go without orgasm have varied quite a bit, from around a week at the low end to over a year and a half at the higher end. I know that chastity is very difficult for most subs, but I enjoy supporting a sub through their journey with it, and helping them go longer than they ever thought they could.
(Degradation) It is important to me that a sub remember his place at all times, and so part of my job is to assure that a sub is reminded of his place regularly. Simple rules such as being kept off of furniture, requiring permission to leave my presence, or being kept naked while I remain clothed make a sub feel like something distinctly less than people. Writing on a subs body, making them shave their pubic hair, walk on all fours, worship my feet, swallow my spit, and eat from a dog bowl are more examples of ways I have reinforced a subs status as a willing inferior. Degradation is perhaps the most complex of these broad categories, and is certainly the one that took me the longest to learn. On the one hand, I take good care of my subs, and it is essential to me that degradation (and Ds) generally be empowering to them. On the other hand, degradation needs to be more than roleplay to be hot, it needs to genuinely change the way a sub thinks about himself. This is a delicate balance to maintain, but it can be incredibly fulfilling for both parties when done right.
(Brainwashing) I believe that 90 percent or more of Ds takes place in the mind. Even something seemingly physical like a caning is really very much a mental exercise for the sub to willingly (and perhaps even enthusiastically) endure. As such, it is essential for me to control a subs feelings and thought processes, teaching him to think about things the correct way, reinforcing his place, and adjusting his preferences to better suit me. To accomplish this I often give a sub mantras, short expressions such as Obedience is pleasure, SIR that clearly and succinctly express an idea essential to their submission. These mantras are to be recited on command, often hundreds of times to help their truth sink into the mind. When combined with hypnosis, this simple method allows for a subs thinking to be slowly altered and sculpted over time. This process is deeply erotic to me, and I love to see my words slowly altering a subs mind.
(Sadism) Perhaps the simplest of control over a sub is control of his body (through bondage) and the sensations he experiences. Im a Sadist, and am certainly inclined to inflict many s of pain on those subs who enjoy pain (though I fully respect that many subs dont). I have a large collection of spanking implements that I like to use. Im particularly fond of my paddle, my cane, my riding crop, and my tawse. In addition to impact oriented pain, I have also quite enjoyed inflicting pain through nipple and ball squeezing as well as forced exercise and stress positions.
(Service) I hope Ive communicated through this profile that Ds is about much more than sex for me, and that power exchange extends far beyond the bedroom. I like when serving me in vanilla contexts makes a sub genuinely happy, content, and satisfied. This service can take many s, and is usually highly personal to the sub doing the service cooking for me, dropping me off at work, picking me up at the airport, doing my dishes, etc. Anything like that a sub does for me is deeply meaningful, and establishes his firm commitment to serve me.
(On Consent) I used to have a list called Boys Bill of Rights at the bottom of my profile, but Ive decided to go simpler this time. It is essential to me that everything I do with a sub is done with enthusiastic consent. I settle for nothing less. This does not mean Im not a strict hardass, and it does not mean that I do not frequently make subs do things they dislike, or even hate. Indeed, I do that quite often. But they let me do that because deep down it is what they want and need and enduring it gives them deep-seated satisfaction. I understand that not everything Ive described here is for every sub, and I certainly do not expect a sub I work with to engage in every activity described above.
Who Should Contact Me So you read this whole thing (or skipped to the bottom), congrats! Im always excited to meet new people with similar interests, so please send me a message! Im particularly interested in chatting with fellow Doms, fellow board game geeks, video gamers, and fellow mtg cube enthusiasts.
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