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riskandrewardwhippingboy75

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Its taken a long time and many false and empty promises but I finally connected with someone and she is now mine. )

NEW UPDATE AFTER LONG CONSIDERATION WE DECIDED TO GIVE OUR OTHER AB ANOTHER CHANCE. SO FAR ITS WORKING OUT AND WE HOPE IT CONTINUES BECAUSE WE LOVE HER A LOT.

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12/22/2022 8:26:27 PM

My baby girl and will exchange vows on Christmas day. We have been together for over 10 years. We decided to keep our day private since my family lives to far away and I have no friends left since I came out and some of my distant relatives too. My baby has a couple of close friends but they also live to far away. She doesn't have any family because her kids turned their backs on her when she came out. If I could give her a present it would be having her kids back in her life she loves them so much and misses them beyond belief. This time of year is hard on her so I try my best to keep her happy. 

I hope everyone stays safe and healthy. Have a MERRY CHRISTMAS 🎅 🎄 AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR. 


3/30/2018 1:01:13 AM
Things are progressing with the new baby girl. We have finally set a date that works for everyone so she can visit us. We've had to schedule the visit around both work schedules. I am excited to get her here and I hope she sees us as her true family. My baby girl is looking forward to having a baby sister. I will have to come up a nickname because both babies are named emily. If everything goes well with the visit my baby will fly back with her help her pack and drive back to South Dakota. I always wanted to have children and now hopefully I'll add another beautiful transgender baby.

1/13/2018 6:30:37 PM
WHOOO HOOOOO!! Great news! We found another baby to join our family. I am overjoyed to have her with us.

11/28/2017 1:19:15 AM
Things change on a dime. My last entry was filled with excitement about the possibility of another sub joining but that fell through. I also wrote about another ab that was going to be visiting over the Christmas holiday. That is kind of up in the air too. I was excited to have a house full of people. I miss that. I had been looking forward to this holiday season but now that feeling has kind of soured. I hope it changes.

10/9/2017 7:36:22 PM
There's an old saying, "When it rains it pours". I have my dear baby emily and now we have another sub who is masochist/kitty, plus another slave will be joining our family in November. That slave is slave to the newer sub. But when she leaves for work I control that slave. Then, we got news that the other AB sub I had talked to earlier wants to come for a visit in December right at Christmas. My house will be filled with lovely subs and slave. What a way to finish out this year!!

3/29/2017 11:15:27 PM
A few weeks ago I was contacted again by a transgender sub that I used to talk to. Originally she didn't live too far away, Iowa, in fact. We talked about her visiting then possibly being my sub. Sadly she found someone else and moved up to the northwest coast. As I said she contacted me again and she is on her own again. We have talked about her joining baby emily and I and becoming part of our family. I am so lucky to find two such lovely little girls.

1/20/2017 1:48:11 AM
Living with constant pain takes a toll on a person. I am not my normal self any longer. The pain has left me frustrated and depressed. I used to love to plant a garden and flowers. I loved spending time in the yard getting my hands dirty making things grow. I didn't plant anything last year and probably won't this year either. The back pain saps the strength and it's pure misery. There have been many days that I have thought and wished "just put me out of my misery, stop the pain". I am so thankful for my baby girl Emily.

1/7/2017 11:26:02 PM
So far this new year has started out bad.  I am about to be homeless if finances don't turn around. 

Things have been rough with all my health issues last year which piled up medical bills. I wanted this new year to be better but it looks quite dim.

12/30/2016 8:44:47 PM
Well, this year is almost through. There has been some highs and lows for me and my sub Emily. I am really hoping next year is better for us.

One of the highs was finding a doctor in South Dakota that would treat her and provide hormone therapy for her transition. The low part is, her insurance doesn't pay for any of it. Another big high was I asked Emily to marry me. She said yes and we have a tentative wedding date set for Oct. 28 for next year.  But right now finances are tight and we'll see if we will need to extend the engagement until we save up enough money. 
One of the bad low parts was my health. I had a few mishaps which ended me with a fractured fibula. I had to wear a boot for 6 weeks. Another mishap injured my shoulder and I wound up going to physical therapy for 6 weeks. The mishaps were all caused by my seizures. Plus, I had a seizure in public. That's never happened before. Because of the seizures I must depend on Emily to take me anywhere since I can't drive for a year, which really sucks!!!!!!!!!!!  

I hope everyone has a safe holiday.

10/28/2015 11:42:50 AM
My sub, has been chaste for over four months. She has been very good about it too. Three nights ago I took emily out of her chastity device and I milked her. Her clitty got so hard and she had a lot of cum. It shot up in the air. Now she is empty and it will be another long time before I take her again.

8/17/2015 2:54:28 AM
In my last two journal entries I mentioned that we had another transgender girl that we eventually had to ask to leave. During the time that "she" was here we both noticed a lot of behavior that didn't reflect "her" being transgender as well as submissive. The many things that "she" did was leave the toilet seat up, which meant "she" was standing to pee like a man. "Her" manners were atrocious! "She" would wipe her mouth on the sleeve of her grubby,smelly hoodie "she'd" wear all the time. "She" wouldn't go out in public dressed as a girl and "she" wouldn't even dress up as a girl very often at home. "She" would always change clothes and go in boy mode to the stores. There were some gross mannerisms that I noticed with her like sticking her hand down between her legs rubbing around then bringing her fingers up and smelling them!!!  EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!  Also she would rub her fingers in her armpits and smell them which she didn't catch on that she stunk from wearing the same clothes. She would even sleep in them. On average she would shower twice a month. This tells me and Emily, who knows, that this was not a true trans girl.
This person's actions have made it necessary for I and my sub to be more specific and careful in our search for a possible family member. This is a FEMALE household, meaning....Females, ONLY...female subs/slaves, or Transgirl sub/slave. We do not want any males, no sissies either however Transgirls will undergo sissy training if needed. Provisions can be made on work environment but at home the prospective sub/slave would be a girl at all times. Maybe the new sub could be a big sister to Emily. And always if the sub/slave is Trans chastity would be enforced.

8/16/2015 1:31:19 AM
Well, it's been about two weeks since the other transgender girl left the house. We are back to our usual routines again. Baby Emily works outside the home and she can be gone for long hours due to her job. That leaves me home alone. But when she gets home she goes about her chores before I put her to bed. We are still talking between us about possibly having another sub/slave in the house. The disaster that was the last transgender girl, it makes me a bit reluctant to this. I think Emily would love another sister to have around.

8/8/2015 11:17:38 PM
After having another transgirl living with me and my sub it was time for her to leave. She could no longer live with us and abide by the rules of the house. She is gone and now it's only me and my sub, Emily. I'm not sure if we will think of looking for someone else to add to our family. Although I think Emily would like a bABy sister.

7/20/2015 9:27:00 PM
Well, my sub has been collared for about 4 months now. She is still learning but for the most part she is top notch and learns quickly. I never have to tell her twice what needs to be done. She has also been in chastity for close to 3 months. I am still trying to find a better device for her but for now this one works out fine. Since my sub is also an AB she is in diapers 24/7.  As scat is one of her hard limits she does not mess her diaper but she wets and I have her in nice disposible diapers and plastic pants. In fact tonight we went out to eat and she was diapered and if you listened close she did make a little crinkle sound from the plastic pants. I am working on something in my basement that I can chain her up. She took it upon herself and bought some chain at a home improvement store. It will be a very suitable punishment place when we get things all done.

3/24/2015 10:03:51 PM
Yesterday I collared my sub. She now wears my collar and I'm very proud of her. The two week trial was a learning situation and she's still learning. She is also in chastity.

2/20/2015 10:37:44 PM
It's taken me a couple of years but after all that time I've finally found someone. She's learning and becoming quite a lovely helper. Tonight was special. This was the night that my babygirl Emily was put in chastity. No more cock to get in the way. The key is safely hid away. I'm very happy with her and from the way things are going so is she. Later this month she will be meeting her other sister. That will be a lovely day.

1/27/2015 8:34:04 AM
There finally is someone. And she knows who she is. All she needs to do is come on home to me.

1/19/2015 4:46:10 PM
I just want to put this out here to any AB's that say they want to be a total baby 24/7. Now this means an AB that wants to consider himself a newborn to ages 1 or 2.
Reality Check:  To be an AB 24/7 365 means you'll be diapered all the time. Now, you won't be buying the Depends or Attends type diapers. You'll be needing the good ones and some of those are imports. The cost per case, ranging from $70 dollars for 48 Bambino diapers to $114 for 72 diapers. Now, as a bABy diapered all the time you'll go through 6-10 diapers a day. Now, let's say you use 8 diapers a day, x 7 days a week, that's 56 total diapers. And Bambinos only come in a case of 48 so you'll need to buy 2 cases for 1 week, that equals $140 a week for them. Now times that again, there's 4 weeks to a month, equals out $560 a month. Now that's just for diapers. That's not counting the wipes, lotion, powder and anything else that you might need. NOW, times that all by 12, that makes a grand total of $6720.00, just for the diapers. Now, if you are wanting to be a bABy full time then that means the "mommy" is the only one that will be working. Now, if she's working she'll have to hire someone to come "bABysit". Now this person would be someone like a CNA or possibly nursing student. That'll be more money that the "mommy" will have to pay out. Do you see where this could become a strain financially plus a strain on the "mommy". As a full time bABy you wouldn't be helping out by cleaning or anything else that's also being left up to the "mommy". That "bABysitter" may not be familiar with the AB lifestyle and she's now taking care of an adult bABy. She would be feeding, changing and doing all the normal things she'd do for a little baby. Now, this girl now knows something, 1. There's a lady in town that hired her to "bABysit". 2. The guy she took care for is an adult who's wearing and using diapers full time. She has this information and there is no way in God's green Earth is she going to keep that all a secret. She'll tell someone, maybe her girlfriends. Now she could think that the adult bABy is being held that way by the woman who is the "mommy". She could call the authorities. Now the woman is in trouble with the police. Anything could happen. So the moral of all this is....To all the prospective AB's, think it through. Think how much it's going to cost not only financially but could cost both you and the "mommy" your reputation. Don't let your "little brain" cloud your judgement.

1/16/2015 3:50:58 PM
I saw the neatest bed on Facebook. It was a homemade bed totally designed for bdsm play. I wish I could have something like that.

1/10/2015 8:18:47 PM
I love where I live in South Dakota but darn I hate the severe cold we've had lately. And the cold weather doesn't help my back pain nor does the snow shoveling either. I am looking forward to a little warmer weather.

11/5/2014 10:21:05 AM
I may be a domme and I love to give out pain but I HATE to be in pain myself. For 6 long months I've been in pain from back issues and sciatica. I haven't been back here to look for anyone due to the fact I'm in pain and have had no desire. I'm just checking in to see what's going on.

3/28/2014 6:17:28 PM

UPDATE:  Right now my life isn't allowing me to seek someone. But it doesn't prevent me from looking at some profiles and wishing :) .

 

 


10/13/2013 9:33:17 PM

Friday I went to our local pound and adopted a kitten that was going to be euthanized. I wasn't sure I wanted one that was small but he is cute and funny.

 


9/7/2013 8:25:43 PM

I had the sad job of collecting the cremains of my beloved cat. I still miss him so much. I don't think I cried that much when my parents passed away. His passing meant that everyone that I cared about was gone and I was truly alone.

 

Again things didn't seem to work out with a potential slave. Although he lived in a different country I still had hopes it would some how work out. But it wasn't to be. Frown  I will admit that the time difference made it hard to chat. At one time we had made plans to meet and he was going to come here but sadly it didn't come about. I think that was a missed opportunity for both of us. I will say that the lady that finally takes him will be a very lucky one. I wish him the best and will miss him so much.

 

 


8/12/2013 8:43:10 PM

Sadly last Monday I took my cat to the vet and had him put to sleep. It was very hard for me since he was the only thing I had left to care for. I knew it needed to be done and it put him out of his misery. But the loss still hurts. Cry


1/18/2013 4:53:10 PM

Rethinking this type of relationship. The search has brought lots and lots of frustration and with that I'm going to leave for a while. I'm not sure I'll continue the search. Right now it seems futile. But I do wish anyone good luck in finding someone.


Just a little note- Why do quite a few of the sub/slave profiles mention they want 24/7, 365 servitude? They also mention being kept in chains at all times or caged or in a dungeon or naked all the time? Also why do they assume it's going to be sex all the time?  Or in some profiles they want to serve but not do any chores or housework. I guess I don't get it. It sounds like so many of them are only after sex and their needs. I know it's not everyone on this site but it's a lot of the profiles. Just a reality check- the only way any Mistress could keep a sub/slave like I just mentioned was if she was independently wealthy and didn't have to work. I have to work to pay bills and I would expect my sub/slave to work also to. It's plain logic it costs more to live when there's two people. Where these subs/slaves get it in their heads that's it's going to be a free ride is beyond me. Most to the time I think some of them are living in a fantasy world. They think it's going to be like a BDSM porn video they've watched.



10/20/2012 8:47:00 PM

After a day at the vet's and a hefty bill tests came back on my old cat. He has arthritis and like some old people he gets constipated and needs a laxative. His eyesight isn't the best either. The vet put him on pain medication for the arthritis and the laxative for his constipation. Poor old cat. I know it's no fun going to the Dr. I'm hoping the pain meds make him more comfortable. At almost 17 I know his time is limited.

 


10/18/2012 5:13:01 AM

Today might be a very sad day for me. I'm taking my old cat to the vet he has not been feeling well. I'm afraid they will have to put him to sleep.


10/3/2012 6:02:53 AM

I talked to a slave on here, things looked good. He said all the right things, even about once we met he would move to South Dakota.  I wanted to meet him. He said he also wanted to meet. I had a vacation around Memorial Day. He said he would meet then. He never showed up. He disappeared for a couple weeks then he began to talk to me again. Again he professed he wanted to meet me. Soooo, I had another week of vacation in the last part of Sept. I told him 2 weeks prior that I was having this time off. His response was "I'd like to meet you during this time later in the week."  Well, I never heard from him and he had disappeared again. Oh, and even when he kept saying ''you're the One for me" and I told him since that's so then to remove his profile, nothing was done.


TALK, TALK, TALK........so frustrating!!


7/2/2012 4:58:51 AM

Nice quiet birthday yesterday and now back to work. I took my pictures off and hopefully in the next few days will be taking some new ones. Although the pictures get a lot of responses my profile doesn't when there isn't a picture posted. Goes to show that men no matter if they are subs/slaves or not they are visual creatures.


7/1/2012 11:02:08 AM

Another year older today.

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Thank you for the nice birthday wishes I received today.


3/6/2012 6:23:17 AM

As expected, slave was here today gone the next.  ARRRRGGHH!!!!

 

 


3/4/2012 2:06:42 PM

Well, onward into the fray of seeking a slave. Interesting talks with one today. He sounds promising, but then they all do in the beginning. I will keep my fingers crossed. I did enjoy all the things we talked about and if things went along well I would love to get another slave. I would love to use/abuse them both.


12/31/2011 5:07:06 PM

After the last disappointment I need to make sure that ANY possible subs/slaves are willing to relocate. It gets so tiresome and very frustrating to talk on the phone, chat, or email to someone and listen to them tell me they're more than willing to move only to get an email stating....."you're too far away" "it's the distance" "you did nothing wrong but where you live isn't for me". I know where I live is quite rural but it's not entirely backward. You just have to love living in a smaller town.


12/20/2011 6:45:10 AM

Seems that although my fingers were crossed and the chemistry was starting to develop with this new sub it fell to pieces.

 He had asked in an email about shutting down his profile since he was with me and I told him YES. I see now that he had not done that. That was a disappointment.

 This was a BIG disappointment!! I had such hopes for this one.


12/5/2011 8:30:09 AM

The holiday season is just around the corner and I hope everyone will have a good one. After a short stay away from this site I came back and was recently contacted by a new sub. So far so good. Although distance is factor he is more than willing to relocate...YAY! I will continue to have my fingers crossed for this one.


10/27/2011 8:04:28 PM

Well sadly the slave I had thought was a prospect didn't turn out. He couldn't fulfill any of the orders I gave him. So, he has been dismissed.

 With this newest slave a bust I'm now going to take a bit of a vacation away from this place.


10/1/2011 7:20:44 PM

Well, after many tries I think I might have found a very suitable slave.{#}   His name is mark. I have my fingers crossed that he might be the one for me. We had our first phone conversation tonight. I've already given him 3 orders and I'll see if he can follow through with them.

 


9/20/2011 8:44:55 PM

Another week of vacation and this time working on the inside of my house. After this week is done no more vacation for a long time.

 

I was in the mood to plan a Halloween party which I love, but with my work it leaves little time for something like that now. I doubt I will even get my house decorated.

 

The young son in law of my friend is still staying with me but not for long. What an IDEAL SLAVE!!!!  So willing to do anything I ask of him without a hesitation.  I wish I could find someone just like him.

*sigh*

 

 


9/8/2011 8:53:52 PM

With the help of my friend's son in law I now have new screens on my windows. What a perfect young man. Too bad he's married.  As long as he's staying with me I'll have to find something else for him to do.

 

Now that's the kind of slave I'm looking for.


9/1/2011 10:35:11 PM

Just a few days left of my vacation and not all the projects got done. I did get 3 of them done on Monday, what a day! Tired and sore on Tuesday but with still more to do it was errands to the home improvement store before calling it a day. Finally Wed. I had a small break and today was back to sweating it out in the garden. I am looking forward to having some help tomorrow. I think I'm actually ready to go back to work....that's not so hard on the back.


8/27/2011 7:44:26 PM

A week of vacation starts now...YAY!!  Now, I wish I had a good slave here to help with all the little projects I have lined up.


7/25/2011 2:41:48 PM

For a long time I've looked for a good service oriented slave, but since I haven't found one or after finally meeting I'm not the right person for them. I'm going to forgo the search.

 Where I live isn't the place where slaves want to relocate even though they say they will.

Just a heads up to any subs or slaves. If you meet someone and it doesn't work out. Tell them WHY it wouldn't it's the polite thing to do.


3/21/2011 6:51:09 PM

Spring is finally here and now the work begins outside. There's plenty of jobs to do...ugghh.


4/26/2010 6:10:49 PM

I went shopping today. New handcuffs were bought. But I sure wanted to buy more things.

The cuffs go with the things I have. Too bad no one to use them on.


4/25/2010 12:27:14 PM

I'm guessing I'm going to have to redo my profile. Evidently some don't read it all the way through. I don't do online domination and I keep getting asked.

Also why can't you fill out your profile?  If I took the time to fill out my profile, then for cryin' out loud, put something down about yourself too. 


4/5/2010 5:13:20 PM
I had a nice holiday weekend. I hope everyone did. I'm also getting better, although not 100% yet. But at least I'm able to cough and not pee my pants now...ha ha ha.

I really thought this mastubatory technique was great. From the same great site I found the first one from.

"Once he's gotten his cock hard, the slave must coat it with a mentholated gel or "deep heat" muscle rub. Once the rub is on, he must put on a condom and continue masturbating. Experiment to find out which varieties the slave can handle and in what quantity. If his cock is too tough for the rub to burn enough, try his worthless balls!"

3/24/2010 6:11:57 AM

Beautiful weather and I'm coming down with a cold.

I also am looking at yardwork now that the snow has melted. My hands and back will be sore by the time I get things done.

I had come across a lovely site with some interesting ways for masturbation humiliation.  This was one of the ways.

"When the slave has not come for a while, Mistress gives him a choice just before a meal. he either can expect an additional prolonged period without orgasm, or he must squirt all over his meal before eating it."



 


3/19/2010 6:39:07 PM

"The male of the species (a common domestic animal) when treated with firmness and an occasional treat can be trained to do most anything".


I'm enjoying the evening, had a couple drinks and feeling just fine. Now where the fuck is my sub to take care of me??????????????? Damn!!..he should be here.

Hope all have a really fun weekend.


8/9/2009 8:05:09 AM
I didn't specify in my profile male or female. I would also be interested in a lesbian sub. One that is a BBW also.

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LadyMalitia
 
 Age: 19
 Romania, Romania