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| I just realized last night that Wednesday was six months after my birthday, and I was no closer to realizing one of the goals I had set forth for myself on my birthday. The only way to realize that goal (realistically) is to turn back to CM, where I have found mixed results in the past. It's always a scary thing to rejoin this site, since I am aware of both the offers and emails I will receive. I'm eternally optimistic, and I hope there is a diamond in the rough out there.
Professionally I am very driven and successful, so I tend to attract mostly women seeking the alpha-male type. My previous relationship told me that is not exactly who I am or strive to be in my interpersonal relationships. I do not want to be a doormat, since I do not think that could ever fit my personality, but I do need a solid female led relationship. To what degree we take that is slightly flexible, but I need someone that is able to take charge and make me who she wants me to be. I miss working hard, pushing myself, and adjusting myself and my attitude to please my Dominant. Professionally I would still like to at least maintain my self-assured persona that has served me well thus far, but I need ownership and control behind that facade.
Ideally I see a situation in which we can relate well and have a stable friendship wherein we are essentially equals or at least have a fun rapport where we still both know our place in the relationship. She would set the boundaries, but I am flexible up to and including a TPE with the right person. I enjoy the power exchange, and I have finally reached a point where I can admit how empty that part of me is without it.
Of course, this is a very highly sexually charged type of relationship, and that is a huge part of it for me. I have no interest in vanilla sex or relationships for that matter, but I still need more than just that. I need to know we can be friends, have fun together, and discuss more than just how I will serve and service you. That is a given, but it has to be built on the other stuff.
I do look very forward to hearing from people and making some friends and hopefully more.
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