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again seeking somethin ive been unable to find...... i know ur there, i feel u, hear u.... dream about u nightly.... u shatter my sleep, force ur way into my daydreams, yet u remain faceless... just a voice..... a scent...... a dream..

i know that when the time is right you will summon me and want me...... till then my sir... good night.... xx

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12/6/2009 3:47:29 AM
sooo damn tired....  need to sleep.... need u here..... damn i need u here........ need out of this place.... feel like a trapped animal.....  unsure of my place in this life i pretent to live...  go thru the daily paces, smile at the rite time, talk at the rite time... all the while tryin my damnest to find a way out.....  mmm feelin the down side of my bi-polar kickin in with a vengeance...... nite all

11/29/2009 4:00:29 AM
mmm u know wat, thinkin its time for me to grow up, stop bein selfish in my wants n desires and just look after wat i already have....   chasin a dream is drivin me insane... i dont think u really exist n thinkin its time i keep u as a fantasy instead of chasing an unreal reality......

nite all, sweet dreams, good luck in ur search xxx

11/19/2009 11:38:30 AM
mmmm general feeling of lust, could just fuck n b fucked all day... concentrating on the day to day vanilla becoming harder n harder....  mybe i should just buy brothel.....mmmmmm

dying to b fucked properly for hrs on end..... mmmm imagination never stops, cravings never stop, desires gettin dirtier with every day that i am without...

Strugglin to b truly submissive atm, too many wants, too many cravings n rules it seems r meant to b broken.....  bad pet...mmmm bugga eh, maybe u should fuck me properly as reward, it may teach me how to behave...lol

although my moments of dominance are becoming more n more enjoyable....  putting him in his place is somethin that excites me to the core, bringing a deep throb that has long been dormant......

well off to another day..... drip drip drip, batteries are flat yet again, need to find another electric massager...... anyone know where i can find decent model at decent price....

i am also interested in some bondage photography.... has to b someone who knows what they r doin, cause i dont have great body but i want great shots....lol  wishful thinkin maybe but u never know.... also a partner willing to have some shots done with me...... we can always hide facial features if its prob....  mmm hoods.....lol

well all have great day, hope u all get laid in ur own particular way, specially me.......lol

mwah xxx

11/10/2009 10:37:39 AM
mmm spent an interesting couple hrs with a sweet sub couple nites ago....  very nice... helped sedate the monster for just little while although back with a vengeance this morning and i am dying for more.....hhhmmm

11/3/2009 10:58:24 AM
mmmmm my god, my erotic, frustrating, nite of my life....... n i was sleep for the whole damn thing.....  where r u......  xxx

10/8/2009 12:01:42 PM
mmmm morning world... im still here.... still searchin........ little exhausted by it all but as they say... u get that...  if ur here... please drop in n say hey.... ill b waiting..... xxx

8/30/2009 6:42:58 AM
mmmm so its been a while....... have been occupied by the vanilla options in my life..... but am desperately in need of the alternative.....  how do u concentrate on the ordinary when the extraordinary is pushing continuously at my mind.....

i want to wake in the morning n b noticed, petted, played with....  want to have someone to please who will actually respond in some way shape or form......

my dreams r getting more erotic by the nite..... drivin me to unknown places n unspeakable desires.......

damn...... how do i get outta this.... xxx

7/18/2009 6:14:08 PM

maybe im lookin for somethin ive already got.... the head games this vanilla plays would outdo all but the most confident dom..... fuck i hate where i am at this moment...

both physically and mentally.... fuck fuck fuck


7/15/2009 6:31:34 AM
aaaahhhh wat a couple of weeks.... sooo pleased that they r behind me, im thinkin positive n movin forward.....

u still come to me nightly, ur images r startin to haunt me, the fact that ur there but ur not clear to me, drivin me little insane.... apparently i was callin someone in my sleep couple nites ago.... Vanilla woke me from my stupor to ask who u were.....  makes for a stressful day the next day.... lol

if i sit on the beach, on a large rock, cross my legs n shut my eyes.... i can feel ur breath on my neck.... ur whisper in my ear and ur slap on my ass......  telling me to behave... in a bad girl kinda way.......

i put myself into a trance just to have u near, distracting my days, my nights, my thoughts... my very being..... 

Vanilla life holds less n less for me with each day... starting to resent wat i have for keeping me from u, n as much as i feels its wrong, i cant move away from u..... the hold is magnetic, drawing me in, keeping me..... whispering ur magic, promising things i can only imagine......

once again, i am at the stage of dreading my dreams, delaying sleep, putting it off to the very last moment when my head hits the desk i know its time to go... quite often preferring to fall asleep on the lounge away from hub, away from the distractions, just to have u to myself..... to go to u...... to please u..... pleasure u.... be with u.... be urs.......

till we meet again.... nite my sir

heart body n soul..... wherever, whoever u r...

xxx

7/2/2009 12:17:58 AM
me thinks i have done something to upset my karma.... past couple days have been succession of mindless stupid screw ups and things going wrong.... 

mmmmm maybe moaning, groaning in my sleep whilst dreaming of 'you' have something to do with it..... lol

fingers crossed things improve as the week moves along....

am planning on spending my tomorrow on my bike, freedom, fresh air and of course the beach.... never know who i might meet.... whilst i would prefer to run away for a weekend or a week..... a day will do for starters.....

xxx

6/29/2009 10:41:34 PM
mmmmm excuse the very unladylike attitude..... but what a cunt of a day......

hope everyone else is enjoying theirs.... xxx

6/27/2009 7:02:59 PM
mmmm well guidance it seems can come in many forms..... non atm that im willing to follow....lol  some may call me stubborn, some will call me cunt.... but if u dont make me wet then im sorry u just dont get me..... 

for the 'rite' sir... for the 'him' that im looking for.... wen i look into ur eyes n c the passion that i need to c, then u will have me like u have never had another...  u will have me however u want me.... wenever u want me, but i need it to be with a passion... with a vengeance....

if we dont have that then i hope we can still be friends..... i luv to chat to doms, subs, friends in all ways, from all walks of life, but if i gave myself to every dom i came in contact with, i would b a very very busy girl.... so please dont b upset if ur not him, im just happy to know u.....

in the meantime.... my cravings continue to absorb my every moment, my lust drives me to places previously unknown and the thoughts that run thru my head, remind me that i am not ur average 30 something mother....  to b taken with a savagery reminiscent of cave men days a fantasy im dying to explore..... to serve u from my knees a wanting that is close to crippling....

mmm well seems today i am alone, so im off for a run, ipod in ears, tryin to block the images of the unknown......

have great day all....... xxx

6/25/2009 4:40:31 PM
mmm vanilla has finally gone back to work n for the first time in 23 years i am without a job, so here i sit, tryin to decide how many orgasms i should let take over my day before i actually leave the house to do something more 'useful' but nowhere near as much fun im sure..... mmmm

cant help myself ... back to the bedroom...

have great day all.... xxx

6/25/2009 7:42:15 AM
mmmm have decided not to bother tryin to sleep tonite, have instead slipped in the love balls, picked out a nice bondage movie, checked my mail, now im going to just go imagine u here....

vanilla part of my life is curled up asleep in his own domain..... so the nite is mine.....  wat would u have me do..... wear..... say....

do u prefer Sir, Master, John, Jack .... mmmm i wish i knew.... is it possible to go insane whilst craving a dream....

I want to be loved, challenged, stretched, tormented, adored, used, kissed, slapped, tied, fucked, made love to and in general treasured..... for all that i am and all that i am willing to give...

mmmmmmm well, nothin more of interest here so off to the movie...

nite all xxx

btw transgression......... tonite its ur voice i remember....mmmmm

6/24/2009 4:31:18 PM
aaagggg this has got to stop.... currently out of work, drinkin myself into oblivion n fightin with the vanilla..... HELP.....

startin to drive me insane..... have spent the night tossing n turning.... ur just outta my reach n i need u with a desperation that is starting to show......

time to get up, put my life in order, n get on with it...... but damn i wish i had some guidance.....

wishin u here...... xxx

6/21/2009 7:12:37 AM
mmm drowning myself in alcohol is starting to become a habit that im not entirely sure is a good one....

have spent 3 days this week recovering from 2 big nites out...... much rather spend this time with another..... tied, gagged, begging, pleading, kneeling, satisfying...... mmm well im sure where theres a will theres a way....

positive thought will definately assist me one day......lol

nite all..... xx

5/21/2009 4:56:39 AM
mmm night times are the worst..... stuck at home wen all i wanna do is b out playin up.... shame the vanilla partner i have isnt quite up for me disappearing to play... lol

whilst laughin on the outside i am aching on the inside.... to spend my nights with my other in some way other than in my dreams is a fantasy i fear will not b realised any time soon......

sweet sweet dreams everyone xxx

5/12/2009 5:26:19 PM
mmmmm drip drip drip......  slowly awake..... but thoroughly entranced.....  must b time for the beach...... susi gilmore here i come........ xxx

5/12/2009 5:33:32 AM
mmm races were amazing, im still trying to recover, but still not found 'him'..... mind u the search can get quite interesting to say the least........ did meet some really great ppl...

mmm xx

5/8/2009 6:24:40 AM
day off tomorrow....... off to the races to c who i can find...... u never know...... hope everyone has great weekend..... x

c u in my dreams..... xx

5/6/2009 5:08:18 AM
i need u with a passion that scares the bejesus outta me...... cravin to b ravaged by an unknow stranger is drivin me insane........ mmmm xx

5/6/2009 5:05:54 AM
mmmmm where r u.......

4/30/2009 3:17:21 PM
another day n here i am wondering where u r..... my dreams were so real last nite that i awakened at 4am questioning whether or not it was actually a dream or were u really here.....

the fact that my pussy was still aching for attention n i was alone in the bed crushes my hopes in an instant....

afternoon shift today, which leaves me with a morning to ponder.... check out cm, maybe go to the gym.... i know i need it for more reasons than 1.....lol

but still the idea of calling someone, anyone really then going back to bed with a vibrator n a voice........ mmmm not completely satisfying but also not a bad way to start my day.....

well my clit is throbbin n im having probs ignoring it so it seems im off to satisfy myself, yet again today....lol..... its gunna b the longest day..... xxx

4/29/2009 3:22:45 AM
today i met with a young man....  shy intelligent, can c the domination just slinkin below the surface yet he is too shy to call me his whore.....

i find him intriguing....... he is not into bdsm as such but im wondering if maybe i lead him in the right direction it will head that way.....

in the meantime, im sure my dreams will continue n my pussy will continue to ache....

distracting is not quite the word im searchin for for but will do for now..... hard to concentrate on anything else when all u want to do is satisfy that damn urge....

xxx

4/23/2009 3:12:26 AM

another day draws to its end and i both dread and desire the thought of going to my dreams...  

last nite i was bound, tied, gagged n kidnapped from sleep by a faceless sir in a strange place....... taken n tormented to the point of insanity, whilst his eyes belied his own desires, his own torment.... only to have his release as i was granted mine..... my body, soul, n lust satisfied beyond reproach.....

i wake hot, bothered, covered in a lather of sweat, my pussy dripping in anticipation, wanting the one i cannot c......  dying for him........ begging him to leave my dreams, knock down my door n take me.........

reality hits with a force knockin the wind out of my sails but unable to remove the lust in my eyes n the urges that lie within

xx


4/19/2009 3:28:53 PM
Awake since 4.30, partner gone to work, curled up alone in my bed,  imagination running away with desires that I dare not speak out loud....... especially to the vanilla in my life.....

is it wrong that i want these other things, is it wrong for a woman to want the unspeakable.... mmm

to want to b taken with a passion n a savagery that im yet to find......  to want him out of my head and between my wet warm drippin pussy..... to crave him with a lust that just cant b normal.......

i know ur there, hurry up n take me..... these lonesome early morning solo games r just makin me wilder......

have great day....... x

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traceyg
 
 Age: 24
 Sibugay, Philippines