a few things have changed with me. i am no longer wearing a consideration collared, that being my choice, but i am not desiring to jump into another collar either. There are a few things i need to get adjusted to in this lifestyle. Respect in this lifestyle is something i envy in most, subs/slaves as well as Doms and Dommes. so please show some before emailing me. I am here to find like minded people and to learn and grow in my submission, what i am not here for is to just serves every Dom that speaks to me, i appoligize if that comes across in a disrespectful manner, but it is my feelings.I am a sub/slave, a slut, a bitch and what ever eles, but not to every Dom around. when my belly burns for the right one then i shall be His or Her sub. Listen out of all due respect i am not a cam whore and have no intention on being one, so please no request to show and play on cam

i honestly think i am having a hard time finding my place, my heart and soul tells me i am a slave/sub, but why do i have such a hard time finding my place. i find myself feeling so discouraged and lost. i express myself so He knows but, am told i have no reason to feel in such a way, but i say they are my feelings and i am sharing them because i was once told that is my duty.

10/19/2010


I am up early not being able to sleep..The one that has captured my heart feels so distant and i am so lonely. I have poundered much last night as to the difference between expressing oneself clearly and deeply and being dramatic? but i have not came up with much of a difference, but have realized my carrying on when something is already delt with is something this one needs to deal with and work on. Today i shall start a beautiful day and focus on my corrections.

naeveh

10/18/2010

Today has been one of the most unstable days for me sense meeting my Master, i guess there is so much i do not understand in this lifestyle i must learn. i always thought respect for a two way street in this lifestyle. Today my feeling truely showed there colors, my Masters absence was something i was not use to and experienced, it drove me crazy, i was so uneasy all day. i almost felt like my Master abandon me with out a word, only because i am not use to not hearing from him in the morning and when Master tells me he is calling he does, so when this did not take place i felt actually lost and confused as well as concern for Him. when Master finally called i was such a mess i handled myself totally wrong.

naeveh