Back to List			Send Message		Details

Warning: seriously different profile ahead. I'm a complicated and sexually submissive guy living in the suburbs just south of Denver. I'm looking to find friends, including (but not limited to) friends that can grow into more, or a lot more. I'm in an open and fully transparent marriage to a seriously awesome woman. (As in, we're both fully informed about each other, 100% honest; my wife currently has a girlfriend she adores, and I'm open to other relationships of all sorts.) We're fairly recent transplants to the state and have lived in quite a few other cities, and I'm at the stage in my life where I'm looking for someone (or someones) to share some happiness with, fill some voids, take a journey of discovery with, etc. Friends, play partners, long term life partners... I'm not pre-closing doors. Since I can't even imagine playing, let alone more, with someone I didn't think of as a friend first, it means if there's any chance anything comes out of poking around on this site, it means being social first. If you want to jump past "friend" to something more, then bail out now, and best of luck. I'm just not wired to connect with people on a kinky level, a sexual level, or more, without being friends first. So a bit about my non-kinky sides: I'm professional and work as an tech exec. I'm occasionally funny, always irreverent, often sarcastic. I'm extremely smart. I'm a hardcore gamer: video, tabletop RPGs, Magic: The Gathering, board and card games like Set or Dominion; I was pro/near-pro competitive in a few games. I also love books (I've read thousands, and I've been published in nonfiction), movies, music. I wrote my first (awful!) novel when I was 10. I'm an extremely moral atheist, who has nonetheless studied the bible extensively and world religion a bit. I love philosophy and logic. I went to college for CompSci, but my favorite class was Philosophy of Morality. If you know who Anselm and Rawls both are, I'm probably hoping you'll send me a message if you're reading this. (On the other hand, if you're a genius about all things dubstep and know the history of Wicca, but have no idea who Anselm and Rawls are, but want to talk about Dubstep and Rawls, then you're ALSO probably the sort of person I'm hoping messages me.) I have Feynmanns lectures on physics on my bookshelf. "May it Please The Court" is a book about interesting Supreme Court decisions and one of my favorite reads of all time. (Then again, so was Feynmann's Surely You Must be Joking, Mr. Feynmann.) I love martinis and I'm collecting recipes. I think I'm turning into a beer snob, and Denver is helping cement that. (I discovered Dogfish 120 after moving here. Hell, yes.) I started programming a computer at 8 years old. I'm a winning card-counter, and a winning poker player, though I think I'm too easily bored to be successful at either over a long period of time. I think politics is interesting, and I've stayed up way too late, way too many nights, because someone on the Internet was wrong. (And I'm hoping you don't judge me as a pompous dick from that preceding paragraph; I'm trying to sketch an outline of interests, but I've had friends with all sorts of interests from all walks of life.) I love good food and drink. I learned how to make a good cherry pie in a class for submissives in a local group in another city. I played piano as a kid and just bought one and want to take it up again. I cannot ride a bike with no handlebars. I'm one of the most honest people you'll ever meet, and all too aware that sometimes, the hardest person to be honest with is yourself. I'm definitely an introvert, but I make deep connections with people. I have great friends I've known 20+ years that I would take a bullet for. Most of the friends I've made in my adult life are gamers, kinky, and other alternative folks; I pretty much delight in people doing stuff differently. Moving on to the topic of sex and kink: I'm mostly straight, I think, and the minor bit of homosexual experimentation in my youth didn't really get past second base, but I think my sexuality (especially the kinky side) transcends gender, and I think I could definitely enjoy myself with a guy; but I think my brain is a bit more picky about guys than girls, although I don't generally find myself attracted to the typically sort of person of either gender. I don't have gender identity hangups and transgender/transvestite/transsexual folks are cool. I -love- latex and have a bit of a collection; everything from the king-sized bedsheets to a catsuit to a bondage bag. I love bondage. I'm into chastity, and have played at times with a CB3000 and have done weeks of orgasm denial. I like keeping it fresh and enjoy RP'd D/s or bondage that involves backstory, novel systems, and other roleplay. I've done long-term D/s/TPE play although I think we both found it a bit draining to have it "always on" for months straight. (And since it involved chastity for me a lot of the time, I found it pretty distracting too; hard to get a lot of work done when you're stimulated practically every night but haven't had an orgasm in weeks.) I don't get wildly turned on by switching, but I know how to wield a flogger if my partner likes to change it up ;) Depending on the person, circumstance, mood, etc, I can be into a wide variety of other kinks. I've experimented with diapers (for the humiliation/control aspect, not age play), women's clothing (once, my wife sent me shopping for myself at Victoria's Secret), piss play, a huge variety of canes, floggers, crops, cleverly (ab)used ping-pong balls, breath play (extremely, extremely carefully). We got exposed to wax play, fire play, suspension, and electric play in classes but have never delved there (yet?); I think I'd be too scared to play with sounding. All that said, for me, latex and submission are the most constant things that turn my kink crank. I'd say slave, because I enjoy the absolute control of TPE, but I'm definitely not the sort who would enjoy it forever. Or even be able to tolerate it forever. I'm not really into pain for its own sake (well, outside of nipple clamps, where I'm frankly a bit of a slut), but I actually really enjoy submitting to things I don't like, in the context of D/s play, just because it feels all the more "real" that way. For that matter, my favorite part of everything bdsm-related is the psychology behind it all. I absolutely have to be vanilla sometimes too; both sexually and just in general. I have basically zero ability to be kinky, sexual or not, with someone I don't know reasonably well. So if we don't have the capacity to be friends, then we couldn't be play partners or more either. A few notes: - Since almost all of my best friends from other cities we've lived in were either kinky folks or gamer folks (or both), I thought I might see if anything came of this. So seriously, if you happen to have a tabletop D&D group populated by kinksters, I'd love to be friends regardless of the rest. :) If you have a PhD in psychology and want to have a serious conversation about the relationship between bdsm and Maslow's hierarchy of needs while I'm making you one of the best martinis you've ever had, we should be friends. You get the idea. If you're interesting and want another interesting person in your life, maybe we should talk. - I'm open to possibilities beyond friends, whether that's play, something more, whether it's short or long term. My wife and I have talked very seriously about her girlfriend moving into our house, and even broached the topic of some (obviously not legally sanctioned) 3-way marriage; just to be clear on how we view the "open" part of our open marriage. Something similar on my side isn't inconceivable. I'm sort of at the stage in my life when I just don't feel like bothering having expectations. I have a lot of room in my life for the magic of possibility. Literally and figuratively; we just bought a house, and aside from a couple unoccupied bedrooms, we have 1600 unfinished sq ft in the basement, and I really want a theater room and a kink room. I'm looking for people that might fit into the puzzle of my life. I was 23 and married before I even started coming to grips with what I like and want and need, so at 37 I don't think I have all the answers. If anything, I sort of reached the conclusion that I should be exploring more. - I have zero interest in purely online relationships, but aside from that, I don't have any preconceived notions about what, how much, how often. Anything from a kink-friendly friend I can go to the movies with and sit around and chat about kinky stuff with, to a live-in partner who likes to sample delicious martinis, hang out in latex, and occasionally insist I scrub the toilet before I'm allowed to orgasm. ;) I have almost no idea how my brain decides who I'm attracted to physically; and I've had crushes on girls and guys with wildly different ages, body types, and so on. About you: You should also be scrupulously honest, kind to others, and have a refined understanding of informed consent. If you have any inkling to be more than friends, then you: -- Should be D&D free. I am. (We are.) -- You should be cool with the fact that I'm married. My wife will meet you before we go beyond the "friend" stage, and bless any significant change in status between us, but like I said above, we have big lives with room, and she is open to the possibility of my taking on anything from a play partner to a permanent life partner. She has a big heart and if I love you, she probably will too. (If I were to get deeply involved with another person long term, I'd want to afford them the same courtesy.) If, by some miracle of kismet, things lead to something extra between you and her, we're both also cool with that.