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Ok this girl finally got something composed to put in her profile. Girl wishes to thank up front those that take the time to read her profile. Girl hopes that she did not make it too long but girl is diligent about her tasks. If re-editing is required subsequently girl will tend to it when the need arises.
First of all I wish to advise up front that any prospective male dominants or masters that might find interest in this girl that they should not approach girl with any offers on interaction on anything more than a platonic level as friends only. Yes girl does see herself as a bisexual trans girl but girl’s first preference or natural orientation is towards that of the female gender. I imagine that one day once collared and owned by my prospective future Mistress. That if She were to so choose and desire She would guide and expose girl to any interaction on any level with a male dominant or Master but that indeed will be seen in the future. With that out of the way girl will now speak about herself.
Girl is new to collarme but not to the lifestyle. Girl has been involved in the lifestyle in strictly an online manner for the last 3 yrs. Prior to my embarking on this journey of change and transformation from being a male to being my true nature that of the girl I am slowly becoming; Girl had been a regular male slave for the better part of the last 3 yrs. As a male slave and recently coming into the lifestyle I was fortunate enough to have made that acquaintance online of a very amazing Domme and woman at a chat site. Over the course of several months we both had the opportunity to get to know each other while chatting online and I was eventually blessed and found worthy of wearing Her collar as Her male slave. The relationship lasted for 2 yrs. and it was an incredible experience…yes with its ups and downs like any other normal relationship but overall it was a very fulfilling relationship for us both. Regretfully though in late May of last year my former Mistress found Herself with unexpected real time issues that became priority and pressing for Her. She then felt that She no longer could properly fulfill Her role as my Mistress online for She did not have the time to properly invest and spend in our relationship. So rather than continue a relationship that She was unable to fully dedicate Herself to She chose to release me of my collar. Needless to say it was a very painful and devastating experience to have lost not only my collar but the unique and very special relationship I had with Her. We did remain friends and to this day I consider her a dear friend and hopefully always will. Ironically though it turns out that by Her having released me She actually did me a favor and helped me finally take the time after my release to think thru and make the decisions that have led me to where I presently find myself at this time. As I just mentioned upon Her releasing me I decided to take some time off and away from both online and the lifestyle to go reflect and think about who I was and what I was and where I was going on this journey called life. So I stayed offline for about 7 months and during those 7 months offline I finally tackled on a major unresolved issue that I had been putting aside and suppressing my entire adult life. That issue was that of an internal conflict and struggle with my gender identity. For though I was anatomically born a male; my heart and my mind screamed…I am female!!! But indeed as many others go thru this internal conflict and might therefore identify with what I am speaking about I instead found myself denying who I was and what I was and perpetuating for way to many years the internal struggle and conflict that arises when one finds themselves in such a predicament. It was in during those 7 months offline in the last part of last year that I finally dealt with this issue in my heart and mind. And yes after denying who and I what I was for so many years I finally acknowledged, accepted, and embraced my femininity and the girl I was and had to come to blossom and come to be. Along with that I also came to understand that in the lifestyle my ultimate role that i aspired to was to one day be in collar in real time as a femme trans girl slave in full submission and enslavement to She who would grace me with Her collar.
Having resolved the internal conflict finally after so many years girl finally found an incredible sense of peace and quiet within herself that she had not experienced before and girl was indeed happy in a real way for perhaps the first time in her life. Girl then decided to return to an online environment with her sense of identity now clear and true in her heart and mind to begin this journey of transformation, Growth, and yes self-actualization that had been put off for so long. Now of course I was also scared as hell...giggles…I mean talk about taking on a major life changing decision and trying to figure out how to begin the process… and all along still deal with my own insecurities and self-esteem issues. I must have been slightly out of my mind at the time when I embarked on this journey…but I was happy and very much wishing to begin upon it. I returned to the chat server that I was familiar with and had been a part of for the last 3 yrs where i still knew some folks there and I contacted a couple of close friends in whom I confided my decision and what the path I had set myself upon…they were nervous for me but supportive and indeed with their assistance and friendship girl was able to with every passing day become more confident as to her decision and acting upon it. Girl spent quite a bit of time reading up about the process of becoming who I was meant to be and also I spoke with many persons at my chat venue…persons both Dominant and submissive…and yes of course…trans girls going thru the process themselves…and indeed the more I spoke with my fellow trans girls the more I felt confident I could accomplish this process myself…for indeed part of my fear that I had for so long and I still feel it at times is the fact that I am a bit late to the party one could say…many trans girls begin the transformation at a much younger age…but this girl decided to do this at the age of 42 …imagine that…what the hell was I thinking at the time I made this decision…but here I am ...on the path and hoping for the best.
So sometime at the beginning of this year I decided to join collarme. Now I decided to join collarme not because I seek a real time collar at this time…for that matter I am even apprehensive of an online collar…girl feels that she is too new and is still figuring herself out that indeed till she does girl would not be ready to properly serve a Mistress and is definitely not worthy of a collar at this time…but girl indeed hopes to grow and immerse herself in her new found femininity and also learn about what her proper role as a trans girl slave in the lifestyle should be. Girl hopes to make acquaintances and friendships at first here on collarme that she can benefit from said friendships and learn so much that she needs to learn about. And yes in due time…because girl honestly believes that when the time is right and girl seems to be a bit more ready that fate hopefully will bring a prospective Mistress into girl’s life that will take notice of girl and perhaps inspire girl to earn that Mistress’ collar in due time…first online of course and well perhaps in real time one day.
Girl does wish to be clear about the fact that girl takes the lifestyle very seriously and does not disrespect the concept of what is known as a collar…girl has no rush as I stated earlier to jump into any collar at this time..nor when she does take a collar will she take the matter lightly and jump out of a collar at a moment’s notice…a collar is a serious and powerful commitment by both parties and it should and must be respected for what it is and what it represents….a bond between two individuals that requires an immense amount of respect for each other and trust in each to begin with.
As for the matter of casual play or kink…girl is aware that kink is part of the lifestyle but it is not the main part of the lifestyle…yes it is a very important part of the lifestyle indeed….but once again not the main part of the lifestyle…the main part of the lifestyle is once again the special and unique bond that a Dominant and their sub have with each other. Girl will admit that yes she has her desires and all but girl does not just play with just anyone or the first person to come along…even for casual play or kink girl does need to have at least some kind of minimal connection with the other person…girl has to at least know them somewhat and have some kind of friendship…simply put …girl does not sleep around or better put…slut around gratuitously.
Furthermore…yes…girl does own a cam…but girl does not cam unless girl so chooses to do so freely...camming is a personal thing and choice and well this is the internet and all and there is privacy issues that girl wishes to maintain to some degree….so if girl were to be camming openly and freely at every beck and call…girl’s privacy would not last long I believe…and the truth of the matter is that the internet is a dangerous place and some don’t realize that perhaps giving out too much info whether it be posted on a profile on Facebook or captured in a vid. It is something that could come back to haunt that person at any given time in the future.
Wow…I think this is a good start for my profile…I will tinker and edit it as I come to see a need but for now I think its ok…in the meantime I look forward to meeting Dommes, trans girl, and well just plain fellow lifestylers during my time here on collarme…let’s see how it turns out I guess…
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