By Screamer
For those of us who came of age in BDSM in the computer age, there
seems to be some discrepancies between the realities and the
fantasies of this lifestyle.
I'm your Auntie Screamer, and I'm here to help clear those up for
you. Pay attention. I'm only going to say this once.

1. "You do have rights. You have the right to walk away. If you
believe otherwise, it's time for a dip in the reality pool."
2. "No one can keep up a 24/7 lifestyle for long without a break for
comedy relief, and a swift dose of kids, family, work and car
problems."
3. "No man has an erection continuously. Unless they're priaptic, in
which case, a doctor's visit is in order."
4. "There is such a thing as PMS, and no amount of Domming is going
to make it go away."
5. "A chainsaw is not a sex toy."
6. "Your cyber safeword is the off button on the front of your
computer. Use it."
7. "There *is* going to be a time when you don't feel like having
sex. It *does* happen. Prepare yourself mentally for it."
8. "24/7 is not a myth. 24/7 in chains, naked and kneeling is."
9. "There will come a time when you see your Dominant scratching
himself, belching and in need of a shower. Prepare yourself for that
as well."
10. "No one understands your collar but you. Showing it off at
Safeway isn't exactly a statement."
11. "The distance is not insurmountable. It is inconvenient and
irritating, and it will grate on your nerves unless you fill your
time with other things."
12. "Eventually, you're going to have to take those cuffs off to
take the kids to the doctor. Get used to it."
13. "Speaking of doctors, tell yours what you're into, or be
prepared to deal with social services on a regular basis."
14. "You really don't need another flogger. What you need is a new
microwaves and a pair of hundred dollar tennis shoes for your
teenager. Know when to say when to the toy bag."
15. "People get sick. People die. Use a condom, please, unless
you've been tested twice in the last year, and so has your partner."
16. "Don't walk away from your friends. You might well need them
later, when your dream Dominant turns into a frog."
17. "If you want something, ask. Ask respectfully, ask in role, ask
in good faith. But ask. If you don't, chances are, you ain't gonna
get it."
18. "Just because you call yourself a slave doesn't mean that others
will agree with your definition. Be prepared to defend your views,
but don't bark at others for their opinions. They have a right to
them, same as you do."
19. "Don't believe everything you read, especially if it comes from
John Norman."
20. "Just because the screen name says Master doesn't mean he is
one."
21. "Find a way to orgasm without BDSM. You may need that someday."
22. "Safecalls work. Use them."
23. "There are things you won't do. Trust me. Maybe you just haven't
been asked to do them yet."
24. "This ain't always all about sex. Don't expect to get a nut
every time you play. Then you won't be disappointed when it happens
to you. Orgasms are nice, but not mandatory."
25. "People are not always nice. You will not play at every party
you attend. You will get hurt non-consensually sometimes."
26. "Your Dominant is not a mind reader."
27. "Forever is not as long as you might think. Sometimes, it's just
until she changes her mind again."
28. "The Mistress is not always dressed in thigh highs and hose. The
Dominant does not always have his flogger nearby. Sometimes, it's
time for sweat pants and hot cocoa."
29. "An argument is not the end of the world. Not resolving it,
however, might be."
30. "Sometimes, a fuck is just a fuck. A beating is just a beating.
And a kiss is just a kiss. Enjoy it, remember it, and move along."

I hope you've enjoyed your dip in the reality pool. Wipe your feet
before going back in the house, and don't drip on my new parquet
floors.

Copyright 1999, Screamer All Rights Reserved

The Dominant's Creed

  Above all else he cherishes his submissive, in the

 knowledge that the gift she gives him is the greatest of all.

 He is demanding and  takes full advantage of the power

 given to him, but knows how to share the pleasure that

 comes from that precious gift.

 He is in control of himself first and foremost, so that he

 may control others. As a stern and demanding Dominant,

 he can cause his sub to cry real tears.  As the consummate

 lover, he will then kiss the tears away, without ever

 stepping out of character.

 In times of trouble, a Dominant will leave the roles behind,

 to be a supportive friend and partner, never forgetting that

 this is still a loving relationship between two caring

 individuals. He is quick to understand the differences

 between fantasy and reality.  He would never ask a

 submissive to put him before her career, or family, just to

 satisfy his own pleasure.

 To win his submissive's mind, body and soul, he knows he

 must first win her trust. He will show his submissive

 humor, kindness, and warmth. He must also show her that

 his guidance and tutoring is knowledgeable and deserving

 of her attention, that this is a man she can learn from, and

 trust his direction.

 He is romantic enough to be protective and chivalrous. 

 When called upon, he will fight for his ladies' honor.  He

 proves to her that he is someone she can lean on, and

 depend on.

 He is old-fashioned enough to be a bit of a chauvinist, yet

 modern enough to respect his woman.  Quick to point out

 the differences between them, he also knows there is no

 inferiority in those differences.

 When it comes time to teach his submissive her lessons of

 obedience, he is a strong and unyielding professor. He will

 accept no flaw, nothing less than perfection from his

 student.  Never does he use discipline without good reason.

 When he does, it is always with a knowledgeable and

 careful hand.

 He is a careful guide, with safety always his main concern. 

 He knows how to use pain to extend the bounds of

 pleasure.  He is a mentor who can bring her to the edges of

 her envelope, and gently show her the inner courage to

 reach new heights.

 He is always open to communication and discussion,

 always ready to hear her wants and needs. He is patient,

 taking the time to learn her limits, and knowing that as her

 trust of him grows, so will they.

 He never has to demand ritual behavior by her. She

 responds to him out the want of pleasing him.  Compliance

 comes from the wanting to please, not the fear of

 punishment. He understands the fragile nature of mind and

 body, and never violates the trust given to him.

 He is secure enough to laugh at himself and the absurdities

 of life.  Courageous enough to accept assistance. Open

 minded enough to learn new things. Strong enough to

 grow. His tools are mind, body, spirit and soul with a little

 help from rope, paddle and blindfold. He understands that

 each partner gains most from pleasuring the other. And

 both of them know that love is the only binding that truly

 holds.