This is written from the perspective of a Dominant but I feel it describes perfectly how I feel a D/s relationship should be.

"

I never want to be better than you. I never want to think I am better than you.

I want you to respect me.

I want to respect you, too.

I want to know beyond a doubt that you are my intellectual match.... I want to be able to weigh you as a person and find, at the very least, that we balance out each other’s strengths. I want to know that you are intelligent, strong, and capable.

I want to feel intimidated by you, a little bit. I want to have to grow as a person in order to be the Dominant in your life. I want to grow for you. I want to have to stretch and push myself to be who you want me to be. I want to be challenged in order to keep up with being the person you need me to be.

I need you to know everything about me. I need you to look me in the eyes and see someone who you could be friends with, a peer, an equal.

I need you to choose to give your power over to me, and not default to it because you think you should, because you think I am better than you.

I need you to know you are something special and extraordinary.

I don’t mind if you are afraid of admitting you are extraordinary. It’s alright if you get insecure sometimes, if you need reassurance, if you get shy.

If you have a little hint that you are someone exceptional and you just need the push of a strong person to realize just how amazing you are, I can do that.

If you’re afraid to stand up and acknowledge how brilliant you are, because you have seen that extraordinary people are targets for those who are lesser than them... stand up anyways, and let me be your shield.

…Indeed, any fear, any insecurity, any reason you have for not accepting how special you are, I will find a way around that.

But I never, ever want you to submit to me because you think I am better than you, or smarter than you, or prettier than you. I want to earn your submission by earning your love or devotion, a choice to give over your power, not a default.

I know that some submissives want to give over their power to a superior, or a better. However, that isn’t fair to the Dominant. Every person deserves to be relationship with someone who is an equal, who will help them grow, who will force them to explore their whole potential....

If you love a Dominant, why would you wish someone inferior upon them? We do not deserve inferiority.

Why would a Dominant choose to interact with anyone who is truly beneath them, someone who would drag them down instead of forcing them to grow to being a better person?

Why would a Dominant share her life, her body, or her sexuality with someone she could not respect? Would it not degrade her as a person to “settle” for someone unworthy of her?

There is no room for the commonplace in my life... especially when it comes to those I love. Only the truly deserving will ever have the opportunity to submit to me."-AliceSkary from

The ache that I have inside of me seems to be growing everyday. What was once a dull throbbing is now a consistent sharp pain. This ache is to serve, to give my power over, to be used. And at the same time grow into the person only He can make me become. Even though I have this ache I still find it difficult to give over my power. To submit, even when every inch of my being is longing for it. Something is holding on, something won't let me. I cannot admit to anyone the urge I have to be dominated, at least directly. I find little solace in disciplining myself anymore. It has become all that I can think about. Being owned, collared, punished, made to beg, rewarded, smiled down upon. I have attempted to numb myself of these feelings with no avail. I am slowly losing my sanity with this void inside of me longing to be filled.