4/22/2024 3:03:16 PM: I am actually going out with someone from this site. Sounds normal enough. Not sure what to expect but it is nice to experience the civil and hold back on the cynical journals. Should really stock up on rope, just in case. C

4/18/2024 8:33:13 PM: I had some lovely intro messages today, was nice to be introduced to the civil side of this site. I did notice in the wave of change one message that is still behind the times. Instead of introducing, or building rapport they offered a time stamped plan which included several hours of satisfying their one-sided fantasy. The itemised itinerary marked 4pm you do this to me 5pm you do this to me 8pm you do this to me. I do 6 hrs of unpaid overtime a week to help members of the public and now you want me in my 1 day off on my weekend to spend hours milking your fantasy.  In the great words of Elton John will you F-off.   C  

4/15/2024 3:00:29 PM: I don't seem to flinch at the sight of individuals demonstrating their pain threshold. I am now curious if the intensity of the pain passes a threshold where to them it is a climax of pleasure. I absolutely love imagery of the femme fatale mixed with sexual curiousity. The presented breasts, the extended heels, the red lipstick the curvy dresses the kneeled man.  Again still think dungoens are just shit furniture, IKEA is doing some amazing things lately so no need to be cheap. but you can't beat a little dress up in public to demonstrate your devotion to one another.

4/13/2024 2:07:50 PM: Year's ago I went to this intriguing open lecture from a historian who published a book about sexual novelty. He described meeting people with what seemed like an unusal fetish but could be linked back to a childhood encounter. I guess my early encounter links back to my childhood, seeing my mother neglected, disatisfied in her one relationship.  She is one of those Christian women, who has been with one man here whole life and put all her hopes and dreams into one man that shattered her expectations of a happy life and marriage. I guess I lived part of her experience, which is why I am extremely independent always pursing a life goal, always helping others. 90% of my life has been helping other people and I honestly can say if I was hit but a bus, my last thought would be I have helped thousands of people. Just self-reflecting I don't think my sexual fantasies are in the BDSM remit.  I think leather is overrated.  Owning a BDSM dungeon is just bad furniture and B&Q rope.  I just like the idea of three people, entering a space and saying fuck what other people think, what do you want to try and what do you enjoy and leave the rest behind. I am sure there will be some who will show judgement and these are always individuals ignoring the cavities of their own life filling up with shit.  Life really is too short and I would rather in my public life carry on as I am and in my private life explore who I am.

4/11/2024 12:52:16 PM: People in California are really professional when it comes to BDSM. Their portfolio of pleasure seeking is very polished. Creates a not so fine line between actual BDSM and people who need to disconnect their webcam and wait for AI to delete them.