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I'm thinking I may want to take up writing again. It's been years since I actually sat down and wrote anything more than just a few lines that popped into my head. Hmmm.. decisions decisions |
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It's been so long since I have considered myself single... I barely know what to do with myself. |
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Honestly, how hard is it to show a little respect. Yes I am a submissive.. that does not give anyone calling themselves a Dom the right to try and order me around.
I'm being seen as a b*tch right now because I fully belive in giving the same respect I'm shown. So if you so called Doms are getting less than plesant responses, maybe you should try changing your approach.
I am not your whore or any whore for that matter. Names such as those I do not respond well to from those I don't even know. I do not have to do what you tell me to. I'm submissive, not a doormat. |
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I love being happy.. happy is a good place to be. I can't wait to go see my Wolfe and BW this summer.. I'm already counting the days.
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I get to live with my best friend this summer in St. Louis and that's exciting.. I can't wait. I'm also dragging her down with me. She wants to meet my Friends.
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It's a good thing to realize when there is something wrong with you and to have the strength and courage to deal with it. Even if it means putting yourself in counseling. |
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Yay for turning a year older, boo for the responsiblity that comes with that.
I hate how things seem to be going just grand and then BOOM things blow up again. It's like life lulls you into a false sense of security then sits back and laughs as the blanket is pulled back and you see your life again.
*sigh* I guess that's just how things are though. I'm glad that I'm adept as fixing things around me and surviving in the conditions granted me by the Higher Power.
I just can't wait until this summer when I'm able to just run away for awhile and be surrounded by Those that love me. I may have been granted with a semi-sucky life, but at least I have the greatest Family in the world. |
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i've been at college for 2 1/2 years now, and last night homesickness sets in. It's insane. i think it's just the lack of human contact i get here.. that sounds odd since i'm surrounded by people, but it's true.
Nothing like being surrounded by people that you know don't care. i'd feel better completely alone.
Be well A/all. |
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Well it's that time of year again. Time for me to head home for the holidays. i'll most likely be offline for the next 3 weeks, so please don't think me rude if i don't respond quickly to messages.
Blessed Yule, Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year to A/all.
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i lost one of my best friends tonight, it's my own fault though. Through my own need to feel secure and my panic i lost one of the most dear people on the planet to me. i wish i had have had the courage to simply be the person i needed to be to keep her, but panic will do that to a person.
i know i can't apologize enough to her, there is no way to take back what i did or what i said. All i can do is take responsiblity for my actions and gracefully step away from the mess i made. If ever this person needs me i will always be there for her and i pray she knows this. But until that day, i will not bother her with my problems anymore. |
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i find it amazing that no matter what i do, i manage to mess it up somehow. i'm to the point of simply giving up.
i've got to be the worst person in the universe to keep screwing up like this over and over again. No wonder i can't be happy.. i don't deserve it. |
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i was a little surprised to go to my sister's (daddysbeloved) profile and see what she had put in regards to me. i was thrilled though and honestly would say that it holds true for my feelings about her as well. It's so wonderful to finally have someone to share my thoughts with, a friend who is not a Dom/me. Thank the Gods i found you.
 i love you my Beloved sis |
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Normally i'm a bit of a chicken.. scared to do anything that will confirm any of my insecurities. It's a good thing that i'm working on that though, otherwise i never would have made the most wonderful friend in the universe. If not for this site i may have never met her, so thank you site =D
Life moves on and things always change, but with friends Y/you don't have to lose Y/yourself in the process.  |
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Sometimes i wonder if things could get more confusing. *sigh*
i hate how i seem to start making friends with a person and then they disappear. i always feel like i've done or said something wrong. i hate losing friends, especially when i don't have many to begin with. |
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It's aggrevating to try and do something and not have it come out how you want. i was trying to get new pictures because honestly the one i have doesn't even do me justice. But the film was bad and now i have to start all over. i just hope that this time around it'll go right and i'll have more pictures of myself that show me better, not just my body but how i hold myself. i know that pictures aren't always the best for that, because they can be an illusion as well, but then again, all life is an illusion anymore.
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somedays i feel very lucky. like today. i got to talk with Someone i love dearly and She made my day so much better. i really am blessed to have T/those who care about me so much, even if i don't always deserve T/their love.
have a wonderful Samhain E/everyone!!! |
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i'll admit, at times i forget the happiness i have in my life. but the last two days have reminded me that things are good, or at least bearable. |
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i really need to remember to check my mail here, but i tend to block it for all the ones i get that don't interest me. i think that sounds horrid, but it's true. i seem to just attract Those that automatically assume that just because i am submissive that i want to serve Them.. which is not the case at all. Argh! Is it so wrong to want to talk to One and get to know Them before They ask to meet??  so young and already i lose faith in finding a true One. |
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sometimes i wonder if there is anything real left in the world. |
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