jamima

though exdom across the road means ive interest in me again, so not all bad, yippee x

wow forgotten how many freaks on here,  still trust my instincts somehow, dom opposite my house doesnt help  but realise we were once an item but no more sadly :( x

wow have happy family news, im so chuffed for my eldest, carrer in the making at last :) x

wow another good day, all seems to be good news with my life and children,   feeling lucky to be chatting to amazing people, shame some are only on here to screw you about :( x

having a good day :),  weeding the rats from the genuine ones :) x

had a lovely afternoon today, been to my mates bbq, youngest in bed and sure i will be too as very tipsy x

gutted how are you meant to move forward, :),, gutted, but hope gf knows what shes seeks xxx

get to the point i think ive met a dom to move forward with, then realise they are still seeking other subs x, grrrr  so frustrating,, you build a firendship to move forward to realise, hes a fake @:(

god what a shit day, was pleased to log on and find messages, thank you all :) xxx

off to the Bridgewater munch later on in the month a good friend has invited me, so going to see if local doms might be there :) x need a glimmer of hope  surely?

very sinicle tonight, need to aim higher and ask for more, but not sure im capable of it

had 111 offers of meets, one off, fakes ect in the last 24 hrs,  get fed up trying to weed out the fake from the real :(

after this weekend im seriously thinking of giving up on seeking a dom and finding a vanilla partner. Just so many time wasters and fakes on here, dont know who to trust anymore Which i find sad as its a life style choice, so why do so many men/women pretending to be men muck about and damage any faith you did have :).   JUST FIND IT SOOOOOOOO SAD THEY ARE PREPARED TO SPOIL IT FOR THE GENUINE ONES ON HERE :(

had a few challenges since i got home from hols, but hopefully thrugh the worst now, so want to move forward :) xx

well im back, plane 5 hrs delayed,was brilliant holiday, cant wait now to move forward with my life, yippee at last :) x

well, had hair done today, which my son paid for, bless him. looking forward to our holiday and also getting back and being positive and moving on with my life.

new year new man i hope, has to be one local and interested in an older sub :(

8 days till my hols, yippee. off to my first munch tomorrow night, find out details to hire the dungeon that we will meet in mmm cant wait though nervous if honest :)

2weeks and im on hols :), just wonder why so many male subs, keep contacting me, my profile says im not interested  ??

oooo so excited about holiday, im sorry to the doms offering to pay for train tickets, justt cant use a dom, never have never will :), hoping a good quality xx

counting down the days to my holiday abroad, less than a month now, hence i need good health and im working on it :)

well settled back home and doing well, spent this afternoon home baking, wished i had a dom to share my cooking with, hopefully this year will be the one i find a good dom for us to move forward together :) x

well after a week in hospital im glad to be home,  missed my friends on here, hope your all ok?, chat soon to you all , night x

year ago today i got the guilty verdict, im so proud of all ive acheived since then , good on me, and screw the wankers that said i was damaged goods, im not, im me and not a victim xx

was year ago i was in the middle of my trial, i won, but was still a year ago, im keeping positive as need too, All the firsts done with now :)

new year new start, going to be a more positive person, realise i do have a lot to offer a dom, if im not good enough for him, his loss :)  

happy new year to everyone, thank you all for your support this year, next year has to be better, hope your new year is too :) xx

realise tonight, im not good enough :(,  need to think and move on, im worth more im sure :( 

well ive opened a bottle of wine, enjoying a glass or two,  just realising what i have is so special, a dom or owner would be icing on the cake :) x

so hope i stay out of hospital,   just trying to be a good mum :) xx

been in hospital since tuesday afternonn, home now, but poorly still. least im home till monday :( x

still not better, but hopefully docs ect will get to the bottom of it :(

hmm seem to be horny tonight, might go bed and play. oh for a real dom :( X

out of hospital now, one of 2 things wrong with me :(  phnemonia  or rare small airways infection, glad to be home now thank god xx

hurtmore a joke :(     other doms worthy of the trust :( sadly

shame single again this christmas but i hope positive attitude will mean im not next year :), can but hope so x

really moving forward, chatted to a few doms tonight, who knows, hopefully the future is bright, yippee :)

moved on and happy, have to get over things eventually :), now im more positive and seeking a safe future with the right dom :)

 thank you again for all your support and thats everyone, cant thank you enough x

wow miracle had a good day today, forgot about most things. cant thank my friend enough but clearer on what i seek, i deserve a date, being romanced as i give alot as a sub. need to aim higher :) x

wanting to meet a dom single, h, mind, caring and dominant, dont ask for much, seems im a sub asking too much sadly :( x

off to bed, shattered by a lying dom. i only ever ask for honesty :( 

looking forward to next weekend :) happy me :) x

had a good weekend :) thank you so much x

hoping to have a good weekend this weekend :), should i always text first each day, or let dom/man text first ?

grrrrrrrr faceless bullies really get to me, least i put a pic up. hate they get to me but have confidence to know im better than wanker whos so cruel :)

WIFEUSER/USA    what a wanker, how rude

wow looking forward to this weekend :), been bridgewater fair, sons loved it :) , hope some me time and rewards due to me , who knows i might i be lucky :) x

on hols now for 4 days, be back soon and will reply when im home again :)

still strong but guess you know which dom  i seek sorry x

pleased with how strong i am :)  wished next weekend i had a partner to go away with :) x

first day of changing my life, i think can only get better :)

still searching, trying to keep positive :).  only had 4 bad messages from doms, last one from you disgust me had crippled me. he has no right to be so horrible to me :(. ive got over him, scum bag he is.    looking forward to my birthday, at least i know my sons, will do me proud :) xx

didnt let the bully you disgust me get to me, want to thank all the doms for your positive messages :)

grrr youdisgust added me to his wall of horror, gee thanks, no im not a 100 pounds more than stated, hate bullies sooooo much :(

confused.com   lifes a bitch, wished i had hingh site, would help making desisicions

WOW realise i can meet a lot of doms after tonightm hmmm im going to sleep well :) xx

gosh amazing evening at next doors bbq, felt so good to be out having fun :)

feeling not in a good place tonight, off to docs tomorrow morning, suffer fool lightly :(

did the bank holiday things, no not a holiday but soon im hoping,  struggling tonight, had best mates over, makes me realise im alone too often sadly :)

struggled today with adams birthday , but did it, its hard being a single mum sometimes :( x

smiles 15 messages tonight from switch doms, is my profile misleading ??? as im confused now :(

well you get knocked down you get up again :), will find the one eventually :) ever hopeful

do  i need to worry as im getting a high amount of messages from, switch doms :(  im unsure what that means, as reguards switch ???

decided to be positive and started to decorate my home, least im kept busy that way :) x

wow amazing night, mega hectic day but all worthwhile, was so good to see soooo many people happy, to be done all over again in 3 weeks, cant wait :)

so looking forward to saturday, maxs 18th birthday party, will be single but least im doing right by my sons xx

amazing party tonight, very tipsy but home and happy, like these amazing weekends, just want a dom to share them with :) x

had such a good day today, hopefully turned the corner now :)

yeah pool ready and full, cant wait for the party :) such good mates and families coming x

garden coming together, pool will be finished by Saturday and ready for the suprise 30th birthday party im arranging, so wish i had a certain someone with me :( xx

well yet another quiet weekend, realise married doms = quiet weekends, i need to move on and forward from them grr, i know im worth more

why do i be so trusting, Really worry how many sincere doms locally on this site :( x

gutted this evening, makes a change (not) just a bloody idiot sadly xx

god doms do my head in, just seek LTR with a dom within aga range, dont ask too much do i ????

on a serious hunt now for a dom, just hope to find a dom that wants ltr too, if can build it slowly and surely :)

how do you seek a dom??? guess im too trusting and an idiot on first meets  sadly

ready for a new chapter in my life now, so hope i find a dom for a working relationship :) x

my  ex asked me today how my love life was going, i have to be honest and say not met a dom that meets his sessions yet?, hope he reads this tho.

wont get back with him but helps me realsie what i had and gave away x

dreading Sunday as a year since the assault, want to keep busy but, don't think I will be sadly :( x

so seeking a natural dom, seeking a sub that has children, seems I keep finding doms that don't have children.

seems no hope of getting on long term if doms have no idea of living with children :(

is now off to bed, wondering if other sites like might be more of use, guess i can only try :(

no my new job is not being paid as a sub, its as a cook

went for a job interview today and i got the job there and then, god im sooooo happy im doing my dream job and being paid for it :) x

really enjoying my life back on track, thank you for all the messages i have had, they mean alot to me as ALL seem so sincere, sometimes wish distance wasnt such a problem :(

i really seek a local dom xx

the man that raped me on a vanilla date got 4 years yesterday, feel my life restarts from today :) xx

been on a big journey, learning to know who i am and what i want. its amazing what time allows you to become :) x

happy even tho been so poorly, hope all is good with others :)

very happy and getting better all the time :)  hope everyone is good and happy x

felt sooo poorly, but hoping im well soon x

pleased to be out of hospital and on the mend, missed cuddles so much

had a crap day, ever needed a cuddle, i do :(

new day new chapter in life, i wont give up seeking the right dom, i wont settle for nilla as im a genuine sub who craves being owned and protected within this :)

what to put??    seems ive found happiness , seems so worrying but going with instinct :) xx

in and out of hospital, fed up now, bloody surgerons :(

wowww just seen how many doms subsrcibe to read my journal, didnt realise you could do that. amazed but smiling im so happy they are :) x

well im home from hospital now, tho surgery was more invasive than they had hoped,   ended up with 8 inch cut across my groin,  and 6 further cuts of 6 x 2 stitches.

should be on the mend soon i hope.   soooo much going on, finding it hard to move on and find  a dom :(   tho ty for all your  messages x

had some down days sadly lately, wished someone  had wrote a book on how to cope and recover, but no one has.

im sure ill get there just need  more time i guess.

hope everyone is well

seem to be coping well,

tho they have put my first leg op back for yet another week, grrrrr it gets me down, been 3 months now and its meant to be asap op as been overlooked for 3 years

well, new tablets fro the doc mean im sleeping at night, which is helping. been going to bed early as seem to be catching up on sleep.  having  some good days so im feeling more positive  :) 

so pleased to be able to move forward, ty all for your support :) xxx

im now the cleanest sub sexually in the world i think, finished all my drugs this evening, now time for me to heal and move forward :)

yyyaaayyyyyyy, thank you allll so much for your support this last 28 days :)

looking forward to moving forward,  just hope im given a chance :)

results came back today, all were negative :)   yey.

now time to move on,    4 days of major drugs left then back to normal.

thank you again for all your support, just need to move forward and move my life on xx

had some bad days,  was re examined on wednesday at hospital , it set me back as was so degrading,   

im trying again to be positive and chat again,   trial wont be till at least september sadly.

but know im going to get through this despite everything it throws at me , cant thank you all enough for so much support :) x

have 13 days left of drugs, then hope to try to return to my life somehow.  dont seem to feel sleepy tonight so guess  ill fall asleep on sofa.

trial about 2 months away

determined to have restored normal life for me by then.

can i say again thank you again to my aazing mates, doms, subs ect on here with amazing levels of support :)   

wow eldest turned 18 today, went with him to our local but left at 10 to let him enjoy himself with our mates, i know hes safe.  last night was dark for me but today ive been proud how well ive put on a brave face, drugs, poorly, bloated, but was there for him,   

so for a change im proud of me too :)

had hosp today   bloody drugs   getting me down x

had bad weekend but thank you to the men thats been sooo supportive

im a bit more positive now,  but still good and bad days, ive hidden my profile as i cant cope talking to doms ive not spoken to before.

cant thank you all for the supportive messages it means so much to me

the monster from vanilla life has been charged and remanded till his trial, im only logging in to chat to dear mates as police have my phone, so i wont be replying to  text messages for a while :(        ty for the messages of support  on here too

ive hidden my profile so only my trusted friends message me ty

was sexually assaulted on a night out last night, police have my phone and the mans in custody :(  might not be on here much for a while sorry

wow so happy, been a good 24hrs  never been so happy ty x

got given injection today by doc for pain in my legs, so hope surgery sorts them :(

im off to bed shattered, night all xx

Right from tonight its a new start :)

Im going to be more positive and and more relaxed, have decided that sessions might lead to greater things as trust builds and the vanilla side can develope over time.

THANK YOU  to the 2 Doms that have helped me change a few things and take a different realistic approach to moving forward, You both know who you are :) your time and words have been so helpful and a very good kick up the ass , which is what i needed (not literally kicked up the ass but you know what i mean lol )

realise tonight that soooo few doms on here are genuine, text and chat when good for them, drop you like a hot stone when suits them sadly, guess my wake up call :(

feeling a bit lost this evening :(  some doms sooo genuine but distance too far and local doms all seem fake grrrrr.

sorry rant over

i have to have an op on both legs as i have a 3rd vein in both legs causing me bad pain, was told today that i should have had the op 2 years ago. i had the pre op assessment today so hopefully wont be too long to wait xx

off to the hospital this morning, hopefully get a yes to my legs operation. Having been overlooked for 2 years, i hope its good news for the ops i need :)

well i dislike this day sooo much, have never had a partner that bought me anything :( so i dont know why im soo down but will soon be tomorrow and wont matter im alone again

grrrrr now kids want bacon sandwiches, life is soooo unfair :(

well went out and had an amazing night, very bad hangover this morning tho :( god not felt like this in a long time lol. stayed out till 11.30 so was chuffed as normally go home about 9pm . must cause i was enjoying my time out

well, my mates have persuaded me to go out tonight, as ive not been out properly for months ,im looking forward to it. will be nice to get dressed up and make an effort for a change. most probably will come home early as will get tired but at least im going out :)

had a few mixed days, sorry if ive not replied to you.  Life seems to get in the way of searching sometimes but homelife is always first and formost for me .

mmm sat eating jaffa cakes, must feel better thank god at last :)

im slowly getting over pluricy, im sorry if ive not replied to a message sent. I always try to respond to every message as my manners say i should x

well ive met the first NASTY dom on here vonRichthofen wrote to me points and laughs @ my fat carcass.

well a few weeks ago that would have got to me but the new me is aware she is liked and wanted :)

been to my mates this evening and had a few drinks, was so lovely catching up with mates and realise how lucky i am to have them :) x

YEH get a car wednesday, cant wait. feeling the time is right to start meeting a Dom :)

a new chapter in my life. Just need to work on the trust issue. at least im honest and know this will be an issue for me xx

happier today, ive sold my caravan, so now have money to put towards a new car, hopefully 2 weeks :)

well find myself in a down mood today, not sure whats wrong with me but guess we all have those days of feeling sorry for yourself  :(

well the horrid ex emailed me again today but i was strong and told him to go away, keep the Jeep and that i was over him. God it felt so good to write the words and mean them :). I know the support of the Doms on this site has helped me through this and im a much stonger person thanks to them :)

What a good day

seem to be settled now and moving on with my life, im so pleased doms wish to chat to me and that i get to chat  to some.

still cannot beleive how many nice caring Doms there are on this site, ty again to all be kind and supportive to me :)

well im doing well. have had some good days shopping, buying high heeled shoes. Lovely basques and underwear from ann summers. Feeling like the old me now :) and looking forward to the future.

I want to thank all the Doms that have been so kind and supportive to me xx

done all i needed to do to make my family safe, feel bad i needed to but had noooo choice. gutted, im a nice person/sub dont like being strong but i have too

lost all my contacts but got my phone working again, so not all bad.  Have had an amazing weekend , life really seems on the up.

my mobile died on me today and its less than a year old, so ive lost all my contacts (gutted)

im definately getting less upset and MORE angry i let him do it to me but from the doms ive spoken to on hear, i know finding a true dom will not be hard

Thank you again for all the support ive been given by you all xxxxxx

well now back in the saddle and ready to move on with my life. My next dom will hopefully be a mix of nilla and dom. If leads to 24/7 who knows.

will not settle for no Vanilla sex  with my next dom as i have missed it sooooo much.

Well cleared the house of his things and sorted finances ect, now hoping for a bright future:)

Again ty to all the doms that are being so supportive of me on here, its means so much to me x

his name on here was daddy keeper, profile now hid, what a suprise

well boss took my Jeep and now have to go thro solicitors to get it back, but cant see me getting it back. feel so stupid i let him put it in his name. think he did a good job on me sadly .

 would like to thank all Doms that have been so kind to me , its heart warming

well im single now very sadly

well im still alone and still no contact from him :(, im so down as i do/did love him

boss still not back, still no contact. what is a trusting rational person to do??????

well boss took off again this am, no bye, dont know where he is or when he will be back. really am struggling to keep this relationship alive :(

friends think my  journal is sad, hope my boss reads it, but begining to think it wont make any difference sadly x

feeling sooo insecure, just want some ressurance :(

boss only went 5 days, wished hed aknowledge me on here , seen as this is where we met but never mind. soooo hoping t0 meet all his friends new year as will help me with knowing a bit more about his past x

well my boss  is much better and decided to go away for 8 days, what can i say hey !!!!

the boss is poorly, so i hope he gets well soon, my best mate Nick came over tonight and told me we have to speak about issues as they wont go way.  I find it soooo hard to speak face to face but he wont text me or chat on a messenger. So i feel so frustrated x

BEGINNING TO TO THINK, since he last went away hes not seemed to want me. wondering what ive done wrong?.

i am  looking forward to new year when i meet some of his friends, xx

is sad im a sub of a boss on here, tho im not a friend of his, makes me feel like im a dirty secret and i think im worth more, but guessing im not :(

i didnt add the last entry, now wondering who did??????????????, but guessing i know

been excited by messages, guessing its cat and mouse game but dont wish to play this tho xx

having a bad week, trying to pluck up the courage to chat to boss but cant seem too xx

wow birthday tomorrow, and still sooooo happy, cripes life can be good, never believed it could be :) xxxxx

realised today, my boss had took my family on too :)

offically a couple, so happy but still here for my mates on here, ty for all your support x

wow soo happy, settling into full time sooo well. cant beleive how lucky i am xx

well after just one week i never realised just how much i craved 24/7 its made me complete

very happy, wonderful being beaten and controlled, finally very happy xx