icyrealism on Collarspace


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	This isn't my first round with collarme and I finally think that I know what I'm looking for and how much I'm willing to risk emotionally. I am looking for someone who is amazed that any woman will tolerate either his arrogance or stupidity or both. You will complain about other women. You will have little to offer other than a few retread opinions about life, often lifted from 19th century poets who you haven't actually read very completely. Maybe that isn't fair, I will never know if you have more to offer as we will never actually meet. Perhaps you also have body heat and/or a pulse. Our pictures will all be at least five years out of date. I will fib by ten pounds about my weight and you will pretend that you aren't cheating on a woman who will find out about us and harass me at work until I take legal action. We will write to one another many times a day and pretend that this is a relationship. I will start to believe that it is until the first call from your pregnant wife whereupon I will buy bags of crisps and a metric ton of Quality Street from Sainsbury's and gorge myself sick. Parenthetically I am looking to be hounded by the gambler guy from London, the rich retiree who assures me that he is not a fake and at least twenty impatient men wanting close photos of my nuni and/or webcam sex that they can either sell for their next fix or cut into a work of art that they will title: "Depression". The art will win an award, but since no one really goes to see art anymore I will not be recognised. I want chat invitations without notes. I want demands for my phone number, pleas for money and new friends in unlikely places. Please queue up now to remind me why I should have actually married the perfectly charming boy I dated in school instead of going of to Uni only to find myself BACK HERE taking care of mum and trying to get some play on an internet site. Thank you As of this morning both of my examples from life have written to say that I am perfect for them, the retiree first and now the gambler. If one could make a living predicting this sort of thing I'd hang out a sign. Cheers.